Body
The Boondocks meets Gundam Wing
by DistantPoet
//...// indicate thoughts
I'm in highschool, no $, charas not mine, don't sue.
"Uh-oh, Huey, I think this neighborhood just got a whole lot worse,"Riley said as he peered out the window.
"Man, you are dumb, aren't you? There's no way this neighborhood could possibly be worse." //Stupid kid.//
"Nah, I think you better come look at this, " Riley's voice had more than its usual angry edge. He sounded...nervous.
Huey ambled over the blinds to see what had upset his thug of a brother. "What is it THIS time?"
Apparently there were more new neighbors. At first nothing seemed terribly odd-- the lack of movings trucks,
but still general confusion associated with moving. Then Huey saw the neighbors themselves...and did a double take.
There were five teenage boys moving into the house digonally across the street. One was wearing entirely black
and had a long, thick braid flying around him whenever he moves. Another was wearing a pink shirt and lavender
vest, complete with dress khakis. Hia blonde hair matched his outfit like green matches purple-- in a correct, yet
disturbing way. The third boy looked just as out of place as the rest. He sported white pants that Huey knew to be
of the old Chinese style, a navy blue tanktop, and distinctly Asian black slip-in shoes. His ebony hair was perfectly
coordinated with his black eyes.//Weird.// The next one wore only supertight spandex shorts, a loose green tanktop,
oversized hiking boots, and a contemtuous glare under a mop of unruly brown hair. He loked to be some sort of Asian,
too. The last one was wearing a green turtleneck and 80s-type form-fitting blue jeans. He also seemed to have some
sort of orthopedic shoewear. His hair looked like some kind of weapon; it came to one side in a single,
dagger-like bang.
//Whoa,// thought Huey.
"Ok, herb, you can shut your mouth and quit gaping now, "Riley teased.
"No, this is a lot worse than I feared. Riley, our neighborhood has not only gone anime, it's also gone gay!"
***
"Well, if you think about it, it was already anime. I mean, look at our eyes, and Cindy's hair!" Riley argued later.
"I never thought about that, but it's beside the point anyway."
"Yea. I wonder what those weirdos are doing here."
***
Those "weirdos" were moving into their newest safehouse. The scientists had concluded that Woodcrest
would be the one place OZ wouldn't look for five anime Gundam Pilots. And they were probably right.
"Heero, why do we live on Notorious B.I.G. Avenue?" Duo complained.
" Because no one will find us here, baka," Wufei cut in.
"What's Notorious B.I.G. anyway?" Quatre wondered. Everyone collectively shurgged.
"I think I'll go meet the neighbors," Duo said abruptly.
"Me too!" Quatre chimed.
"That might not be such a good idea, you could blow our cover, " Heero reprimanded. Secretly he didn't want
his beautiful idiot to leave, but he wouldn't say that.
"Honestly Heero, I think the worst thing that could happen to our cover here is to have it timidly poked at,"
Wufei countered.
". . ." Trowa agreed. He had learned not to be so stingy with his koi.
"Whatever." Heero pretended not to care as Duo left with Quatre in tow. He rose a few minutes later on the
pretext of groceries, however, and followed them.
Heero hid behind bushes and ducked behind trees as his cautiously followed Duo and Quatre as they wandered
through the new neighborhood. They couldn't decide which house to go to first.
It ended up being the McPhersons.
Cindy answered the door. "Hi!" she said brightly, "Who are you?"
"We're the new neighbors, and we're walking around to meet everybody. I'm Quatre, and this is Duo."
"Hey!" Duo cut in, "What's your name?"
"My name's Cindy McPherson, nice to meet you. Do you work in the X-Files or something? Where are Moulder
and Scully?"
"Who?"
"Cindy! Who's at the-- oh. Hello," Cindy's father appeared behind her at the door.
"Daddy, these are our new neighbors, Quatre and Duo. They're with the X-Files!" Cindy exclaimed.
Mr. McPherson looked them over with disdain. You boys live together. . . alone?"
"Nah, there's 5 of us in the house; the others just didn't feel like coming."
"I see. Welcome to Woodcrest," he said sarcastically as he closed the door.
"Well, it could've been worse," Quatre said. "Where to next?"
"That one over there, looks like someone's home," Duo answered.
***
"Huey, two of them are coming over here! What are we gonna do?" Riley was apprehensive to say the least.
"Relax, don't get your panties in a bunch, man. Let's see what they want." The doorbell rang then, and Huey
went to answer it.
"Hi, we're--" Quatre began.
"We now who you are!" Riley interrupted. "You're international terrorists from space colonies-- I've seen Gundam
Wing!"
"Gundam what?" Duo played dumb as he sweatdropped.
Huey acted as though he had heard nothing of the entire episode. "It doesn't matter who you are, but you got
someone stalkin' you out there in the bushes."
"Wha? Oh, that's just Heero. He does that all the time, don't mid him," Duo answered with practiced ease.
"Well whatever. Anyway, why are you so thin? Are you anorexic or what? And what's the deal with those clothes?"
Riley went on and on.
"That's weird. We're supposed to be healthy, go figure. The clothes have long angsty stories that will probably
bore you," Duo answered.
"Well, I have 29 sisters and I'm rich," Quatre said perkily.
"Okay...did you know your name is French for four?" Huey noticed.
"Hai, and Duo means two," Quatre said, just as perky.
"What was that, you already said hi?"
"Oh, Japanese. We speak it randomly, I'm not sure why."
Awkward silene commenced.
"Anyway, you're black aren't you? We don't see many black people in anime, " Duo said suddenly.
"We're new. We just come out in April of '99," Huey answered.
"Hn," was the reply from the bushes.
//Whose side are these guys on? They don't seem to have anything to do with Klan. . .// Huey tried to form an opinion.
He thought of a test for them.
"How did you like the last Star Wars movie?"
"It sucked beyond comprehension. Biggest letdown of all time, "Duo sighed.
"Riley, he's one of us."
***
"Q, what's the deal with the pink and purple?" Riley asked as they took a walk one day.
"I'm not sure, it just feels. . .right, " he answered, embarassed.
"Well, Imma hook you up. Come on."
Muchly surprised were the G-Boys when Quatre came back later that day looking like a naturally blonde Eminem.
"Yo," Duo said.
***
When Heero got over his neighborphobia and ventured outside without foliage protection, he met Huey.
"So you're that punk Duo and Quatre met, huh?" Heero said coldly.
"So you're the 'Perfect Soldier' obsessed with the mission, huh?" Huey countered.
After a glaring contest for the ages, they settled down talking about the finer points of socialism.
//So maybe these guys aren't so bad after all,// Huey amended.
Wufei soon took to doing his katana in the front yard every morning. Grandpa was out getting the morning paper
and enjoying the fresh air when he saw him.
"Ain't it illegal to carry a sword like that?" he complained.
"Only if you really know how to use it, "Wufei answered evilly. He stopped his movements and walked over
to the old man. "I began training in the art of swordsmanship when I was 4. I am what is equivalent to a black
belt in karate. I am. . .also the last of my kind, "he finished sadly.
"Ah, you and me both, son," Grandpa replied. "You reckon you could teach me a thing or two about that?"
"Certainly."
***
Was Jazmine ever surprised to find a tall unibanged boy in the tree she and Huey usually shared.
Trowa sat there, meditating.
"Who are you?" she inquired timidly.
"I. . .am nameless, no one. But if you must call me something, then Trowa Barton is me," he answered calmly.
"You sound kinda like me. You don't really know who you are either," she empathized.
"No, I was an orpahn, and nobody knows if I'm Italian or French, " Trowa concluded.
"Well, I'm not an orphan, but I don't know what race I am either."
". . ."
"May I sit here?" Jazmine indicated the tree.
