Face the Crystal Ball
He didn't really have an opinion towards all the cross-dressing. It made costumes and disguises a lot cheaper and/or easier to make when all he had to wear was a skirt, so he tried not to complain too much.
But when Jessie ordered him to dress as a woman, then he got a little annoyed. And even more than that, he hated when she forgot about the entire affair and instead spent her time wandering around, wondering where he was, when he was right in front of her.
Really, she could be so dense sometimes. But, then again, everyone fell for their costumes, so it wasn't her fault they were masters of disguise. Maybe he could even have a little fun with the situation at hand.
As the redhead walked by for the fifth time, James silently cleared his throat and announced his presence.
"Well hello, young lady...may I interest you in a reading?" He loved his own voice talents; sounding exactly like an old woman wasn't as hard as it should've been for a man his age.
Jessie turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Uh, no thanks. I have bad experience with fortune telling."
"If you're implying that it's not real, young miss, I can assure you, I am one hundred percent certain I can tell you things you don't even know about yourself..."
The Rocket agent placed a hand on her hip. "Look, I really don't believe in this kind of stuff anymore. Stop bothering me." She turned around and started walking away, only to stop abruptly at the sound of the old woman's voice.
"Your name is Jessica...is it not?" James was laughing on the inside. Man, he was good!
Jessie turned around with a skeptical look on her face. "How did you-?"
"In your late 20s? A member of...Team Rocket?"
Jessie slowly walked back over. "How do you know all of that?" Her glare was so serious that James could've sworn it was a different woman in front of him.
"Oh, my dear, it is as I said. I know everything there is to know...about you." He added creepily.
Jessie shuddered invisibly and sat down in a chair across from the woman. "Everything, huh? Tell me more, then. I'll wait for you to mess up."
James raised an eyebrow under his veil. He'd always wondered if Jessie was as stubborn around other people as she was around him. The answer appeared to be a yes.
"You work with a tall, handsome man and a talking cat." He started, smiling inwardly.
Jessie made a "pfft" noise, and mumbled something about opinions, to which James almost stood up and revealed himself. But no, he'd live. He could find something here and use it against her later.
"You've been trying to catch a slightly-more-powerful-than-average pikachu for many, many years."
She blinked. So far it was true.
And it kept being true. James listed off everything he knew about her; from Jessie's mother's maiden name to Jessie's bust size. The girl was stunned beyond belief.
And just as he was about to say another fun-fact, she clasped her hand over his mouth. "Alright. Fine, I believe you. You're the real deal."
"You know, dear, back in my day, we didn't have to do that for people to believe in us." James wagged his finger. He loved pretending to be old. Much better than actually being old. "So, anything you want me to look up for you?"
Jessie bit her lip and James noticed her cheeks turning red. "...yes, actually...I...I want to know two things."
"And they are?"
She looked away from the old woman. "Am I ever going to catch that pikachu?"
James' eyes widened. That was...a very good question. It was so good, he didn't answer right away.
"Well? Am I?" Jessie glared.
James felt shivers down his spine and sat up, motioning his hands around a stereotypical crystal ball that laid on the table between them. "Will you ever catch the pikachu...let's see..."
Jessie leaned over the table in an attempt to see, and James pushed her away. "Even if you looked over here, only I am able to see what will become," he stated matter-of-factly. "According to my crystal ball...your situation with the pikachu and its' owner will become more complicated over time...technically the answer is yes, and at the same time it is no." James knew it sounded pretty bullshitty, but he didn't know! And if he said yes, Jessie would go all-out hardcore and get severely disappointed in the end. But if he said no...what would happen to their group? So he made the easiest choice.
Jessie scoffed. "I shouldn't have bothered asking."
"Ah, but you did have one more question. Perhaps I can answer that one for you better." James smiled politely under the mask.
Jessie blushed fiercely and looked down at the crystal ball. "I want to...I want to know if I'll ever meet the right guy...the right guy for me. Someone who'll stay with me till the end, y'know?"
James' eyes were even wider this time. Jessie was asking about her love life? He expected her to ask when she'd be rich and famous. But hell, he wanted something to hold over her head and this could be it.
"Well, be more specific...you'll meet many guys in your life..."
Her entire face was turning red. Talking about her feelings was not something Jessie of Team Rocket was comfortable doing. "I want...a guy who'll listen to me and do what I say, but also know when I need someone else to take command. A guy who loves me even with the number of flaws I have..."
James' face softened. Jessie was starting to sound...cute. In a way that made him sad.
"I'm hoping he'd feel what I feel and treat me right, unlike the last guys I've been with...so...tell me: am I going to find a guy like that?"
James sat and thought. He listened to her description over and over in his head and didn't know what to say. "Close your eyes, dear, so I can perform a special ritual."
Jessie raised her eyebrow. "Alright, but if I feel you touch me I'm opening them no matter what."
"That's fine, I won't touch you." He watched as Jessie snapped her eyelids shut, leaving him visibly alone.
He peered into the crystal ball and noticed it was getting foggy. He took the veil off of his face and rubbed the crystal ball with it, all the while thinking of what Jessie said. Would Jessie ever meet a man good enough for her, and vice versa?
After the last swipe against the quartz sphere, his face appeared, bright and clear, in the center of the crystal ball. He blushed.
Putting the veil back on, James put his hands on top of Jessie's, and she opened her eyes.
"I told you-"
"My answer is no, you won't find a guy like that."
The redhead's face fell. "Ah...oh...that's...-"
"But this is only because you've already found one. And I can tell, you two will be very happy together for a very long time." James blushed under the veil, feeling like an idiot, but feeling like it was true at the same time.
"R-Really?" She smiled brightly. "What's his name?"
James smirked. "Now that, my dear, you'll have to figure out on your own."
Jessie scowled and pulled her hands away from the old crone's roughly. "Well then...thanks for the confidence, lady. I hope business goes well for you," Jessie said quickly before walking off.
James stared at her as she walked away. He wondered if he should've said the name.
Really random, I know XD