I guess that I was blind
Now my reflection's getting clearer
Now that you're gone things will never be the same again
Cho leaned her forehead on the smooth, cool glass of her bedroom window. Raindrops streamed down like ribbons, speckling and warping the landscape outside. She had to admit that the rain at home was nothing like the rain of Hogwarts.
In Hogwarts, everything seemed happier. Friendlier. Warmer, even though it was a centuries-old castle with ghosts frequenting the halls and who-knew-what scampering around at night. At home, everything just seemed... bleaker.
There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day
You're such a part of me
But I just pulled away
Well, I'm not the same girl you used to know
I wish I said the words I never showed
Cho let out a derisive snort of laughter. Of course everything was gloomier here, without her friends to help dispel her problems. She wasn't exactly lonely, of course - her friends sent her owls almost daily - but she tended to dwell on the negative side of things. Especially with boys.
She heaved a huge sigh and finally allowed boys to consume her mind for the first time that summer. After the death of Cedric, life had just been impossible. Cho hadn't realized how much she'd looked forward to seeing him every day, talking about stupid, petty problems and just laughing in a carefree sort of way.
The laughing part of her died a few months ago.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
Cho hadn't realized it at the time, but she'd taken their relationship for granted. It was supposed to be a fling, a joke - just a single date to the Yule Ball. Nothing more, nothing less. But the Ball released something she didn't even know was there.
Before, boys were just that - boys. Sure, they were fun to talk to and date occasionally, but they weren't the primary focus in her life. Cho'd been surprised to find the Golden Boy of Hogwarts actually asking her to the Yule Ball; she didn't really consider herself something extraordinary. Fleur Delacour? Stunning. Parvati and Padma Patil? Exotic. Katie Bell? Definitely cute. Cho Chang? Well...
You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart
And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true
But I was scared and left it all behind
But after her friends started pairing up, Cho began to realize how lonely she really was. Even Marietta Edgecombe, who she honestly thought wasn't very attractive or particularly fascinating, had gotten herself a long-term boyfriend. None of them were around when she needed a sympathetic ear, or at least, not alone. They were normally snogging with their significant other when she wanted to have girl talk or a Snape-bashing session like they used to.
Then Cedric came along and offered her something that her friends all had - someone special in their lives. Cho, who had been an innocent observer for most (if not all) of her life, realized she was scared. Getting into a long-term relationship would make her leave childhood forever. She wasn't sure if she was ready for that.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
Now here she was, infuriated with herself. Why hadn't she said something sooner? Why didn't she tell him when she had the chance?
And I'm asking
And I'm wanting you to come back to me
Please?
Cho sank down into a sitting position on the floor. He was never coming back.
I never will forget that look upon your face
How you turned away and left without a trace
But I understand that you did what you had to do
And I thank you
She could remember that very last day - it was sunny and warm. Perfect for a stroll, no? Just perfect. And Cho had broken the news to him then: she wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Not yet. Everything was happening too fast for her. She wanted to enjoy being a girl for just a little longer.
The expression on his face was horrible. Cedric wasn't mad; that wasn't his style. Upset, certainly. Maybe disappointed. But it hurt her more than anything else she'd ever felt.
And now she'd never get to tell him how much she loved him.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me.