This story was inspired by Linstock's DeviantArt posting, 'The Touch'. The pairing Spock Prime, and Nyota Uhura 2009,. I thank Linstock for allowing me to use that picture to inspire me. As usual, don't own or profit. Also as usual, thanks to MCeleste57 for her observation, 'Very little fluff, Wow!
The Touch
There was no more tears left. She had cried herself dry. Nyota's entire body ached. She attempted to divorce her body from her mind…yes her now quiet mind. The bond was broken, erased, the silence was deafening.
She wondered what he was doing. No, better not go there. He had made his choice, influenced by his Vulcan loyalty, his need for acceptance by his people at last won out. 'The needs of the many…' He had been tormented, conflicted, but Sarek's words had been what tipped him over…"She is human, extremely aesthetically pleasing, brilliant, how many human males would wish to claim her. Vulcan males are at a premium. Your people need you…Your people need you…Your people need you. ..
But what about her needs, they should have been important to him. On the surface she understood, but her struggle with the loss of everything that she had held so dear and so tightly for the last two years had incapacitated her. Nyoa sat on her bed, rocking back and forth, the most pronounced evidence of deep grief known to her people. Vocally now was a guttural sounds that caught in her throat as she stood up and collapsed onto the floor.
Then there was the knock on her door.
"Please go away."
"Lieutenant Uhura, this is Spock Prime, Salak. I must speak with you."
With his Vulcan hearing he must have heard her, her sorrow and collapse.
"Go away."
"I will not leave until I have spoken to you."
Nyota could imagine the stoic older Vulcan standing planted at her door. Vulcans needed little sleep, even less food and water and could stand motionless for an indefinite length of time. She said,
"Door unlock."
Spock Prime entered, his robes fluttering around his feet. He withdrew his feet from his shoes and left them at the door. His approach was regal.
"I have come to investigate your present mental state.
"I am not a specimen that requires study."
"Oh, but you are Lieutenant in actuality, we both are. We share similar losses. Me, my world, you the embodiment of yours, in my younger self, your Spock. When I came through the anomaly, everything I held dear was lost My Nyota had died many years agp.. I had never reached the depth in our relationship that you and Spock shared, but it is a fact, I loved her and missed my opportunity. To this day, I regret my hesitation. So your Spock outshone me in areas of initiative and in fulfillment of his human desires. I am not here to defend him, just to try to help you through your pain. His next statement agreed with her acknowledgement…
"The silence must be deafening!"
Nyota swallowed and took a deep breath. She nodded in the affirmative.
"Let me explain something to you. The words of the edict regarding 'The Needs…' is deeply ingrained into the Vulcan psyche from youth up. It is the complete divorcing of the pre-Sarek Vulcan from the Vulcan you see today.
For centuries, the basis for the turbulence and violence on our planet was our peoples' mindset, they were clannish, violent and self-absorbed. This edict was necessary to remove us as a people as far away from those ideas and transfer us to the road that would lead us to where we are today. Believe me Lieutenant, he has suffered and continues to suffer from application of that edict in his life. But you must understand he is also consumed with survivors guilt, a very natural mental issue shared by individuals with post traumatic stress syndrome. Their guilt is the result of unanswerable questions, 'Why did I not die?' Add to that in Spock's case, 'Why was I unable to save my mother?' I can guarantee that he thinks about you and wishes for your presence in his life, but the application of the iron clad edict has condemned him to a life of misery, driven only by the application of the edict-The needs…"
"Sir, this is of no comfort to me, my loss is too great."
"So we two lost souls must depend on one another."
Her eyes looked up and he nodded and raised an eyebrow. The action was so familiar, despite everything, a slight smiled touched his lips.
He held out his hand,
"You require sustenance. Come!"
Under his spell she rose, smoothed down her uniform and placed her hand upon his clothed arm. She thought of the truth of the statement, 'Sorrow shared is lessened,' and she followed him out of the door.
`0`0`0`0`0`0`
And depend they did. He eventually became a constant in her life. He was not Her Spock. At times he laughed. He found ways to make her do likewise. He also was a talented musician. Two months after his initial visit he touched her and she tried to run and he grabbed her wrist and took her to a chair and seated her in front of him. As his arms came across her shoulders, almost imprisoning her, he touched her temple as he stood ram rod straight and he said,
"I lay claim to you Nyota Uhura daughter of Benjamin Uhura of the clan of Wakafuni, Bantu People, for you are half my heart and soul. Accept me as your bondmate."
It was almost like he would not release her without an answer either in the positive or negative. There was conflict, she dwelt in a realm of uncertainty and she knew exactly what he meant. Spock had never come to that point in their relationship. But, there was no timidity in any actions of this Vulcan. He was time tested and time worn. Unlike her Spock, he was quite capable of expressing his deepest emotions and
through the meld she heard,
"We have been thrown together by our losses, but now I fully comprehend, you are not second best to anyone and I am in love with you. It might be so that you will view me as second best, I am able to deal with that concept, but bond with me and I will attempt to satisfy all your needs. I will not be jealous if you call out the name Spock and I am not the Spock you call out for. In life, being second is not a loss, but a later win."
So they were married and bonded. They had family, three boys and a girl and because of the great difference in their ages, Spock did not grieve long for his beloved for he followed her shortly thereafter. His last words to his family were, "I die, old and satisfied only because of my Nyotas."
His family thought it was a slip of the tongue, brought on by death's throes, but no, he remembered them both until the last.