Dear Charley-
I've been having relationship problems with my boyfriend for a while. I'm a General, you see, and we're both fighting a war against a race of bad guys trying to take over the planet. Lately our relationship has been strained, since we're both so devoted to our jobs and barely have any time for each other. Do you have any advice?
-Lonely
To Lonely,
Make time. Put your job in the hands of a subordinate and take a vacation. Just because you aren't in the top seat doesn't mean your world's gonna be destroyed overnight.
Also, PLEASE, at least TRY not to be fooled by Plutarkian plots to discredit your boyfriend and his comrades. Honestly. Sometimes Martians are dumber than wet socks.
Dear Charley,
I've been trying to get this girl's attention for a while but it doesn't seem to be working. I've rescued her from evil henchmen, made dinner, even given her flowers anonymously- but she still blows me off! Help!
-Sincerely Trying
To Trying,
Get your head out of your ass and grab a cookbook. Honestly, Vinnie! You're a TERRIBLE cook. And don't give me daisies next time! Especially when you've just picked them from Andy's weedy patch of tulips!
Dear Charley,
Ever since I took a *ahem* extended vacation from my home planet, my mother's been bugging me about having grandchildren. I like kids, but I haven't found a good woman to have them with yet. Any tips on getting her off my back?
-Annoyed Bachelor
To Bachelor,
(finishes CCing copy of your letter to your mother) Sorry, I don't think I can help you there.
Heh. That'll teach ya to snip at me for missing a spot on your precious bike.
If you'd like your Biker Mice-related question answered by Charley, PM me. Remember- questions submitted as reviews won't be answered!