Disclaimer: Dragonball Z and related characters are copyrighted by Bird Studios/Shueisha, Toei Animation. Licensed by FUNimation Productions, Inc. But hey, I can fantasize, can't I?

Author's Note: Whee! This is my first multi-chapter story! Don't worry, though, it's not going to be an epic; it'll probably be 3, maybe four chapters at most. At any rate, this is another strange story in that some of the characters' behavior might be OOC, but there's nothing too extreme. You won't see Goku trying to count to 10 and lose count, or Vegeta prancing around in a tutu (although I'm sure some of you would enjoy that ^_^). But there's moments of . . . stuff. Anyhow, here it is!

Time Period: Just after the Buu Saga (so everyone's the same age as pre-Buu, Goku's alive now, etc.)

The Fine Print

Chapter 1: Immortality at Last!

Vegeta lay in bed next to Bulma, eyes closed and feigning sleep. He studied the darkness behind his eyelids as he monitored Bulma's ki, waiting for her to fall into a solid sleep. His breathing was remarkably low and even as he waited despite the frantic adrenaline coursing through his body. Ha ha, he thought, smirking in the darkness. And everyone says that I'm so high-strung. Hmpf, I can be calm if there's enough riding on it.

Within a few more minutes, the remaining murmurs of consciousness slipped away from Bulma's mind and her ki dropped to match. Ecstatic, Vegeta snapped his eyes open and popped out of bed in a flash, accidentally tripping over his shoes on the floor and getting jabbed in the side by the corner of the end table. He collapsed to the floor, hands clamped over his mouth to contain his reflexive outburst. DAAAAMMMMMMMN!!!!!!!! he screamed in his mind. He bit his lip, fighting the urge to incinerate his shoes, the end table, and maybe the whole side of the building. After a few more moments of mental swearing and a couple audible un-Saiyanlike whimpers, he got to his feet and stripped, growling softly at Goku, who he was sure was somehow responsible for what just happened; as far as he was concerned, Goku was the source of all his misfortunes. After pulling on a matte black spandex suit and boots, he crept over to the window and, checking for any suspicious kis nearby, flew out the window. He chuckled to himself as he flew. Not too long ago, he had stolen the dragon radar from Bulma's lab and located all seven Dragonballs. Before returning the radar, he scattered the Dragonballs in locations that he had memorized, then laid low until tonight.

And this time, he thought, I'm finally going to get what I want, and all thanks to ingenious planning on my part. No Kakarot and his stupid ideas, no dressing up in Bulma's clothing, no embarrassing humiliation in front of every baka I've ever met on this mudball planet . . . just me and immortality! He laughed out loud, pleased with himself and giddy with anticipation.

It did not take Vegeta long to locate all the hidden Dragonballs; he had taken care to bury most of them, or place them where they would not be disturbed. In fact, except for the Dragonball that he had to arm-wrestle a Tyrannosaurus Rex for (it was a quick match), he collected them without difficultly. Finally, taking all seven balls, he flew off far to a clearing where he was sure that he would not be bothered.

Vegeta laid the pulsing orbs on the grass and stepped back, grinning and waiting for Shen Long to appear. When nothing happened after a few seconds, he became antsy to the point that a forgotten facial tic came back to life and started to make his eyelid twitch uncontrollably. "What's wrong? Do these need a password too?" He knelt down by the Dragonballs, frantically looking for instructions. "N-no, I've waited forever for this moment. I need immortality! Give me immortality, you stupid dragon!"

A blast of light shot out of the Dragonballs and threw Vegeta into a tree. Lightning crackled through the night sky and after a moment, Shen Long appeared, rubbing his eyes. "What the hell? What fool has summoned me at two in the morning?"

Vegeta extracted himself from the remains of the tree, angry. "I have, baka! How dare you throw me like that! I'm your master!"

The dragon squinted down at Vegeta, then rolled his eyes. "Oh, it's you. Who really summoned me?"

Vegeta boiled in fury. "I did, you idiot! Just me! No one else!"

"Really." Shen Long glanced around. "I think I'll wait a few minutes until Goku shows up. I hate granting wishes that I have to take back the next second."

Vegeta growled viciously. "Kakarot's not coming, you big lizard! Now obey me and grant my wish!"

The dragon sighed. "I have no choice. Immortality, if I remember correctly?"

Vegeta put his fists on his hips and smirked triumphantly. "Of course. No aging, no dying. Now do it!"

Shen Long sighed again. "As you wish." His red eyes glowed, and a column of light shot up around Vegeta and enveloped him. Vegeta could feel the energy rushing through every cell in his body. It felt like he was self-destructing but it felt revitalizing, intense. The sensation lasted for only a second, then the light vanished and Vegeta found himself standing in the clearing again. He looked down at his hands, confused. "Is that it?" He looked up hopefully at Shen Long. "Am I immortal?"

Shen Long nodded reluctantly. "Yes."

"I'm . . . immortal . . ." Vegeta said in awe. A huge grin spread across his face. "I'M IMMORTAL!" He laughed maniacally. "Yes! Finally, after all this time! Immortal am I! No age! No death! I can push myself to the edge and back, only to ever become stronger!" His eyes shot wide in realization. "Kakarot! I will surpass Kakarot! I'll crush him, shred him up, and eat him for breakfast! Like corn flakes, only bloodier! Kakarot raisin bran! Complete with eleven essential vitamins and minerals!" He giggled uncontrollably.

Shen Long cleared his throat with a loud rumble. "I hate to interrupt your insane rambling, but make your second wish."

Vegeta sat up from where he had collapsed on the ground. "A second wish?" he thought out loud, resting his chin in his hand. "I forgot about that." He tilted his head to the side, thinking. "Now that I've finally reached a major goal, what could I wish for? I want Kakarot destroyed but only by my hands . . . although wishing for Super Saiyan 3 is tempting . . ."

The dragon rumbled impatiently. "I'm waiting."

Vegeta tapped his chin with an index finger. "Umm . . ." His fingers wandered over his face and he was hit with inspiration. "I know!" He stood up and looked down his nose at the dragon. The act was a feat in itself, considering that Shen Long was towering 50 or so feet over him. "For my second wish, lizard, I want you to eliminate my facial wrinkles."

Shen Long raised a brow ridge in confusion, then moved down and squinted at Vegeta's face. "I don't see anything."

Vegeta clenched his fists angrily. "They're there, all right!?" He jabbed the dragon in the snout with a finger. "Now get rid of them!"

Shen Long sighed and rolled his eyes once again. "Jeannie had it so much easier than this . . ." he muttered, coiling back up in the air. "So be it," he boomed and his eyes lit up once more.

After the light faded, Vegeta hurriedly felt his face. "Well, are they gone? Give me a mirror!"

"Sorry, you had your two wishes," the dragon said. "Farethee— nah, good-bye."

"Bastard!" Vegeta yelled as Shen Long exploded into light and the Dragonballs shot to all ends of the earth. He frowned as the sky settled and the stars became visible once more. "Oh well, at least I'm immortal now." He clenched his fists and looked down at them, feeling a new sense of energy coursing through his veins. A malicious grin spread across his face. "Wait 'til Kakarot gets a load of this."

* * *

To be continued in Chapter 2: "Vegeta Discovers 'The Fine Print'"