Title: Regrets, Guilt, and Wanting More
Author: Ice
Rating: PG-13 to be on the safe side
Summary: Read it.
Rory looked into the full length mirror that was standing in front of her. In it she saw a 18 year old girl in a off the shoulder white satin wedding gown. The girl's hair still wasn't done, mostly because the wedding wasn't until the next day. Rory stared harder into the mirror and tears came to her eyes as she realized that, she was the girl with the wedding dress on. Lorelai walked into the room. She smiled.
"Hey babe. Your in your wedding dress." Rory quickly wiped her eyes, Lorelai saw this thinking they were tears of happiness, and overwhelment.
"Yeah. What's up Mom?"
"Your Dad, Sherri, and Lionel are here. Where that woman came up with that name I have no clue. Anyway, they're on their to the inn but Chris wanted to see you before the rehearsal dinner tonight." Rory nodded.
"I'll be out in a minute. I just want to change first." Lorelai smiled again and walked out of the room. Rory sat down on her bed and sighed. How did she get herself into this? She started changing into her jeans.
~~~~~Flashback Graduation Day at Chilton June 23,2003~~~~
Rory looked into the audience as she stood waiting to get her high school diploma. She saw her parents, Luke, Lane, Dean, Sookie, Jackson, her grandparents, Sherri, and her new little brother Lionel. They all smiled so proudly. She was bound for Harvard. She was going to undo the damage, if there was any left, that Lorelai had caused 18 years ago. She scanned the audience again hoping to see him. Hoping since they had almost gone back to the way it was, that he would show.
"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore." Headmaster Charleston had called out. Rory made her way across the stage and accepted her diploma. The Headmaster smiled at her and she turned her head towards the audience to switch the tassel to the correct side, she heard her mom whooping in the crowd. Rory laughed and felt someone's eyes on her besides her family. Eyes that were burning into her head. She looked to the back of the auditorium and saw him. He was clapping as loud as anyone. Her smile faded only to be replaced by a huge grin. She took her seat and kept her eyes locked onto his for the rest of the presentation.
~~~Back to the present~~~~
Rory walked into the living room in jeans and a baby blue tee. She hugged her dad and stepmother, who handed Rory her baby brother.
"Are you excited Rory? Is your dress beautiful?" Sherri asked in one breath.
"Yes, I'm excited," she answered rocking Lionel, and trying not to cry again.
"So Lore, whose coming?"
"Let's see.." Lorelai looked at the seating chart that was on an easel in the room, Rory's idea. "The whole thing is at the inn, and we have my parents, are your parents coming Chris?" Chris gave her a look, "Ok, no Francine and Strabb. We have, my parents sitting with whomever their inviting. We have Miss Patty, Babette, Morey, Kirk, and Taylor sitting here, Sookie, Jackson, Luke, Jess, if he shows, and of course, you Sherri here. Near the head table. We have Dean's family over here. And me, Rory, Dean, Dean's parents, Lane, Mark, Dean's best man.
Lorelai kept talking about the guests and other plans, but Rory had tuned her out hearing these things over and over again.
~~~Graduation Party for Family and Friends The Gilmore House, Stars Hollow, Connecticut~~
"Congrats Rory." Was what she was hearing every angle, the party in full swing. She smiled and thanked the people but kept looking for him. Expecting everything and nothing at the same time.
"Hey my little graduate, is it time for cake yet?" Lorelai gave her daughter a hopeful look. Rory grinned and nodded, giving up her search.
"Ok everyone quiet down! Ok, before we cut the cake I wanted to make a toast to my precious little graduate. Who, even with all my persistence that partying is more important than school," chuckling ran through the crowd, "graduated from Hell, and is now going onto Harvard! Now, I know I never really expected it, but here she is. Rory Gilmore, high school graduate!" Applause and yells of Yea Rory! Went through the crowd causing Rory to blush. Sookie brought in the cake, chocolate mocha icing with vanilla cake, that was in the shape of a graduate's cap. Rory was about to cut the cake when Dean came up to her, and quieted the crowd down again.
"Before you do that, Rory I would like to make a little speech of my own." Rory looked at Dean, wondering what this was about, then for some reason looked past him, there were those piercing brown eyes, that smirk that he wore when Dean was around. She smiled. Dean continued, thinking it was for him. " I just wanted to say how proud of you I am Rory, and even though we had some trouble in the past, it's all behind us. And I wanted to ask you something." He got down on one knee. Rory looked at him but only when Jess got a puzzled look on his face. Her eyes widened when she realized what he was doing. "Rory Gilmore will you marry me?" Tears came to Rory's eyes, tears of embarrassment, feeling obligated, of guilt for wanting Dean to be Jess. She looked at Jess one more time, begging him to come rescue her, to take her away from Dean. He looked, waiting for her to make a decision. He knew that if he didn't step in she was going to say yes. She wasn't strong enough to say no when it came to Dean and what she thought was expected of her. He walked away. She looked back to Dean, who was now holding out a ring. A diamond. She hated diamonds. They were to traditional for her. Jess would've known that.
She looked into Dean's eyes. There was love in them. She felt so guilty for not wanting him for wanting someone else. Maybe this would make it go away. She nodded.
"Yes Dean, I'll marry you."