Why Never To Take Riza Hawkeye Hunting
"No paper work today colonel," Riza reported.
"Good!"
"Good!" Roy said. "Now I can go hunting!"
"Hunting?" Riza asked. "Can I go?"
"Why not?" Roy said, ripping off his uniform to reveal his camouflage clothes.
"You were ready for this weren't you?" Riza asked.
…
In the wilderness, Roy had his gun and Riza had her's. Roy shot about 10 ducks while Roy shot everything that moved, including frogs, flies, and grass that swayed with the wind.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye," Roy said, "you only have to shoot ducks and deer."
"That sounds dull," Riza said.
"Ooh look," Roy said pointing at a deer. "A deer."
"I got this one," Riza said, taking her aim.
The deer moved before Riza fired. It ran away from Riza.
"Don't worry," Roy said. "You'll get it soon."
"Soon? I'm getting it NOW!"
She pulled out a long pipe with an aimer and a trigger.
"I hope it likes the taste of a heat seeker missile!" She said, firing it.
BOOM!
O.O;;
Riza ran into the forest and ran back to Roy with an object and said, "I got an ear!" She looked up and aimed the heat seeker at a couple of ducks flying by.
"Oh crap," the duck said to the other. "It's her!"
"Bye-bye ducky!" Riza yelled before firing. When the ducks were sadly killed, she got a feather and smiled.
Remember when we said se shot anything that moved? Well guess what; Roy was her next target.
Roy ran for his life as the heat seeker was fired at him. He ran near other human beings, making the missile hit them instead. He knew that the other victims would run out soon, and he was right. The missile was above him like an eagle, getting ready to swoop down upon its prey.
"I'm too cute to die," Roy screamed.
BOOM!
Riza ran up to Roy's remaining corpse and grabbed something familiar to all men.
"I got his testicles!"
…
Roy woke up in his office, sweating and panting. There, he saw Riza smiling at him.
"Hey sir," Riza greeted. "There's no paper work today! Wanna go hunting?"
"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"