Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Rurouni Kenshin characters. I merely borrow them for my own amusement, and hopefully yours!
Tenshi's Notes: *sweatdrops* Yet another K/K one shot. I don't know where all these ideas come from. I have another one, but it has the possibility of blowing up into a bigger fic than the one shot I intended it to be. Anyway, this one is a bit fluffier, and my first time writing in ages (2 weeks but hey, it's LONG for me). Pardon the cheesy title. That's what happens when you think of something on your own. *laughs*
Dedications: To Angel-chan, who's always been so supportive of me. To my many imoutos (B-chan, Hikari-chan, P-chan, Usa-chan, Sat-chan), my chibi-self, Au-chan, Krys-chan. Apologies to those I forgot! Thanks to my reviewers for keeping me going! *grins*
To Ivory-imouto, whose birthday is on the 28th!! Happy birthday, Ivory-chan!
Warning
: Contains bad language. *smacks Sanosuke for foul-mouth*********************
The Gift of Hope
The rhythmic clicking of her geta beneath her feet even sounded dull to her ears. What was it about life these days? She felt like she was teetering on the edge, wanting something more but unable to get it. More frequently than not, she found her thoughts wandering back to a certain red-haired rurouni. Baka, she thought to herself, a note of fondness creeping up to match the softening upon her face whenever she thought of him. She had needed to get away from the dojo, even just for a moment. She had found herself idly walking through the town, sighing heavily whenever she spied yet another couple going by. Why was it that some people had it so easy?
Her own relationship was complex to say the least. Since returning from Kyoto, they'd been at a standstill, neither willing to make the first move. And she understood Himura Kenshin far too well. She knew that he would have some thoughts about being unworthy because of his past and all the blood he had shed in his hitokiri days. Didn't he understand that it didn't matter to her? Mistakes were something everyone made, and he was only human. The "sessha" he used so frequently around her drove her insane. How did he find himself unworthy to everyone else? Since the Bakumatsu, he had spent over ten years atoning for his sins and still…
With another sigh, Kaoru found herself nearing the dojo, the strangest sensation of awareness prickling the hairs at her nape. She heard the rising din, a commotion not too far away. As fast as she could, she ran towards her home only to find a small crowd surrounding the door and Sanosuke trying to shoo the people away.
"Nothing to see here! Nothing to see here, people!! Would you all just kindly piss off?!" he finally yelled, a note of franticness entering his voice before trailing off abruptly as he caught sight of a dark-haired girl standing at the back.
His whole entire body froze at her appearance. She wasn't supposed to be back yet. Kenshin, you jerk, he thought to himself as he quickly forced a smile upon his face.
"Jou-chan! What are you doing back so early?"
Something transformed upon her face, the familiar sight of rage turning normally smooth pale skin into blotches of red.
"Sanosuke!!! What have you done to my house???" she bemoaned before pushing her way through the crowd that had gathered.
"Nothing! Nothing!" Sanosuke tried desperately to think of an excuse that would sum up what happened to her poor dojo.
From inside the house, one could hear rapid feet running back and forth, along with Yahiko's cries of "Kenshin!!! You better hurry up before the busu gets back!!"
Her face flushed beyond belief, she stared at him before she gave him a hard shove. Sanosuke almost immediately bounced back to try and hold her back, but the look she gave him could've killed men. His thoughts went irrationally along the lines of "This must've been what Battousai looked like before he killed someone".
"Let. Me. Go."
The clipped words, more than anything else, seemed to make him loosen his grip on her hands.
"Gomen, Jou-chan," he whispered under his breath before trying to shoo the crowd away.
********************
Panicked thoughts were racing rapidly through his mind. Scrub harder, baka, he thought to himself as he began using the god speed that he normally reserved for fighting. If Kaoru came back and found this, they were all as good as dead. He cursed himself for not being more attentive while cooking. As usual, he'd been in the middle of doing something before he found his thoughts wandering towards a certain dark-haired, fiery tempered, incredibly wonderful woman. Unfortunately for Kenshin, he'd been frying some fish that Sanosuke had caught earlier that morning and he had been daydreaming a bit too enthusiastically. He'd been having the most vivid images about Kaoru making her way to him, and there was no anger on her face. Just unconditional love as only she was capable of providing. She was dressed in a beautiful kimono, a wedding one if he wasn't mistaken, and she had been in the middle of saying something when the potent smell of burnt fish and flames greeted his nose.
"Hiiiyaahhh!" he had cried out as he stared at the burning kitchen in shock. Sanosuke and Yahiko had taken off to the Akabeko for lunch, and he had wanted to prepare something for Kaoru just in case she came back early today. She had been unusually quiet and now…
He stopped dead in his tracks as he felt eyes upon him, the awareness that went through him that left his nerves standing on edge could only be caused by one woman. Whirling around, he saw the look in her eyes, the horror, and something else in them before she ran down the hall.
He was somewhat shocked to say the least. He had been preparing himself for a brutal hit, but she had only stared at him before taking off abruptly. He was going to have to offer a great sacrificial fish to the gods for this particular bit of mercy when something occurred to him. It was unlike Kaoru. Something was not right.
********************
When she had first realised what Kenshin had done, she had been filled with worry for him before another thought had entered her mind. Stopping by the kitchen to make sure he was okay, she then made off towards her room. She had to make sure… nothing could happen to it. Then she had found herself staring at Yahiko's black eyes, filled with guilt. Her room had been largely unscathed, but the part that had been closest to the kitchen had been burnt. Along with… the ashes lay on the ground, and she found herself staring blindly at what used to be a giant wooden box.
Horror and dismay the likes she had never felt filled her heart as she sank to her knees. Dimly, she realised she was destroying the kimono she was wearing now, but nothing mattered anymore. Not when… hope was gone.
"Kaoro-dono?"
The only thing she had left of her mother destroyed. She could barely remember the woman, just her father's words about what a wonderful woman she had been, and how she had looked forward to handing down this gift to her daughter. Tears welled in her eyes, the smoky smell rising to disturb her nose.
"Your room's mostly okay. Once Kenshin gets that cleared out, everything will be all right again," Yahiko said, no hint of belligerence in his tone for once.
"Iie," she choked out. "Nothing will be the same again."
Like all her dreams, this one had been taken from her too. Her fists were clenched tightly by her side as she fought to control the tears that threatened to spill.
"Come on, Jou-chan. It was an accident. Kenshin didn't mean for all of this to happen."
Biting her trembling lip, she whispered almost to herself, "It's gone."
"What's gone?" Yahiko asked. "Oh you mean that dumb box you've always had there?"
Something within her snapped at his words and she whirled around, eyes blazing with unshed tears, and crushed memories that she would never be able to get back.
"It's not just a dumb box!! It was more than that!!" she shouted, the release of emotions triggering the tears that fell down her cheeks.
"It's just material things, Jou-chan. Surely it can be replaced?" Sanosuke said in Yahiko's defense, a bit perplexed by Kaoru's reaction.
"Iie, it can't be." Her voice trembled slightly. "It was a kimono…"
"Che, and I thought it was something important, busu…"
Her eyes flew up and a wealth of emotion resided in them. Kenshin found himself taken aback by what he saw, and the other two guys were likewise stunned.
"My mother's wedding kimono. It was a gift to me. But what's the use anyway? Like everything else, it was never meant to be."
The disappointment, the grief, the pain in her voice was more than he could bear, especially when he found himself the object of her gaze at those last words. His heart twisted painfully for everything he had caused her since the day he had entered her life.
She could feel the onslaught of emotions rising, and before she could make an even bigger fool of herself, she turned around and fled.
********************
Every instinct, every ounce of the man begged for him to go after her, but the rurouni made him stay.
"Go after her, Kenshin," Sanosuke said, his voice unusually gruff.
Balling his hands by his side, he shook his head resolutely. "I can't." No matter how much I want to, he thought with a heavy heart.
Grabbing him by his gi, Sanosuke yanked Kenshin up so they were at eye-level.
"Oro?"
"Don't give me any of this I-am-not-worthy bullshit," he growled out angrily. Yahiko watched in shock as the shorter man's foot dangled a few feet off the ground. Sanosuke gave him a few extra shakes as appeared as if he was holding himself back with considerable restraint. Surely, Kaoru wouldn't like it if he messed up Kenshin's pretty face.
"Sano, don't you think you're a bit harsh on Kenshin?"
"Iie, he's a fucking moron. If I have to pound some sense into you, I will!"
"Sano, sessha… sessha…"
"Look, I know how hard it is to let someone in, but sometimes, by the time you decide to do something, it can be too late."
Kenshin registered the faintest glimmer of pain from Sanosuke's deep brown eyes. "Aaa," he uttered sympathetically while still dangling from his precarious position.
"If you think she cares about your past, you're mistaken. She would've never taken you in in the first place if she had. All that matters to her is who you are now, and what you've done for her. You've brought her happiness, Kenshin."
His eyes widened as he took in Sanosuke's words. But still… memories of an old love resurfaced, the pain threatening to consume him at times. Tomoe had died from his hands. Surely he couldn't do the same with Kaoru's life. She was so young. She had the rest of her life to look forward to. She didn't need someone like him to mess hers up. He still had countless of enemies who wanted revenge against Battousai. Was it fair to drag her through all this?
"Sessha doesn't want any harm to come to her. My past… what if…?"
"What if Kaoru dies tomorrow, Kenshin? What if she believes she was never loved… by you? Protect her, Kenshin. Protect her by being by her side, by loving her."
It was then he understood. There were enough uncertainties in life as is. And he had sworn never to worry her or upset her. Sanosuke gave a brief smirk before dropping Kenshin, the swordsman so deep in his thoughts to do right by Kaoru that he sprawled on the floor, an unbefitting sight for the former Hitokiri Battousai.
"Are you SURE you're Battousai?" Yahiko grumbled, rolling his eyes.
Kenshin picked himself off the ground, dusting off his hakama in embarrassment. Just as he was about to leave, Sanosuke piped up once again.
"And if EITHER of you ever repeat what I just said, I'll fucking bash your heads in."
********************
She had no idea why she had wound up here. Leaning over the railing, Kaoru stared at her reflection below, the tears from her eyes mingling with the cool waters. How could she explain such a situation to the guys? She knew she had probably over-reacted but the sight of the ashes had seemed to symbolise all her dreams going up in flames.
She remembered the few times she had gingerly unwrapped the wedding kimono from the soft cloth that protected it, and stared at it. She had been so tempted to try it on, but she hadn't wanted to jinx herself. Some silly part of her had believed that if she tried it on, she would never get a chance to wear it in this lifetime. She gave a bitter snort as the tears eventually dried up. She still wanted to believe, although after her recent behaviour, she wouldn't exactly blame Kenshin for not wanting to be with a basket case such as herself. But surely, after all that they had been through, she couldn't give up that easily. Contenting herself with a few sniffles and the occasional hiccup, she gave a huge sigh.
"Kaoru-dono?"
She spun around in confusion, whirling around so quickly that she lost her balance. She would've fallen flat on her face had Kenshin's quick reflexes not caught her. So she found herself in the arms of a man she had been dreaming about since the first day she had met him. It hadn't been love at first sight like everyone believed. His calm, steady presence had slowly won over, the perfect counterpart to her fiery nature. He had helped ease her lonely soul, and given her a family of sorts in the forms of a rurouni, a foul-mouthed ex-gangster, and a bratty kid. But all of that didn't matter. It wasn't the bonds of blood that forged this family.
She inhaled his scent, her face flushing in embarrassment as she caught herself doing that. She could feel the rumbling in his chest as he chuckled, the faintest tint of red coating his cheeks. She tried to move away but she found his arms wrapped tightly around her, unwilling to let her go.
"If you wish me to, I will…"
She stared at him, confusion evident in her eyes. She saw the softening on his expression as he gazed at her, one arm moving away from her waist to gently stroke her cheek.
"Kenshin?"
She could feel the tremors that went up her spine, accompanied by the frenzied beating of her heart. Strangely light-headed at the moment, she could only stare at him.
"Sessha…" he began, only to shake his head. "I've been alone for so many years now, content to wander. I didn't want to get too close to anyone. After everything I've done during the Bakumatsu, I didn't believe I deserved any happiness."
"Baka!" she chided. "Don't you…"
He raised a finger to her lips to silence her. "Let me continue?" At her nod, he started again. The hand upon her waist had begun moving, and she swore she could feel the heat of his fingers through her obi. Distracted temporarily, she fought to listen to what he was saying.
"Then I met you, and you changed everything. I could not believe that you would want me to stay despite knowing my past and all I had done. The day you asked me to stay was the happiest day of my life. But I was wrong."
Her eyes widened at his words, and her heart stopped beating momentarily. Hand upon his chest, she asked, "Kenshin?"
"How was I to know that every day with you seemed to make the other days pale in comparison? Each day, I was thankful when no harm came to you, and I was satisfied just being around you."
The breath rushed out of her mouth, hitting the bare chest that wasn't too far from her face. Kenshin inhaled sharply before the air came hissing out as he stared at her with molten purple eyes. He appeared to be fighting something within himself before continuing.
"Life with me won't be easy. I'll still have enemies coming after me for all the crimes I've committed in my past…"
She straightened abruptly and punched him on his shoulder. "Kenshin no baka!! Don't you think I know that the day I took the rurouni in? It doesn't matter. I told you that a long time ago. I had my own enemies when I first met you, remember?"
He rubbed his shoulder before giving her a rueful grin. "Aaa, I forget sometimes. It's a good thing I have Sa… people reminding me."
Her senses were scattering as he stepped back closer to her again, far closer than he ever had. Always, he had stood a respectful distance apart but now, things appeared to be changing. Was he…
"But I swear to you, I'll always protect you…"
A golden flare circled the normally hyacinth depths as he spoke the words, causing her heart to flutter erratically. "… and love you. Aishiteru, Kaoru." Pressing his forehead against hers, his eyes seemed to demand nothing but the truth. Beneath that gaze, there also lay a hopeful quality about them, almost as if he feared that she would reject him. Her heart thundering within her chest, she could only smile at him. Her right hand came up to touched that scarred cheek, feeling the way it seemed to burn right through her skin, sending pulses of sensation flooding through her.
"Aishiteru, Kenshin," she whispered shyly. A spasm crossed his face as he crushed her against him, holding her close as if she could somehow become a part of him. She lay her head right over his chest, hearing the rhythmic thumping beneath her ears, soothing her weary soul. She thought she heard him mumbling something about thanking Sano but it could've been her mind playing tricks on her.
********************
They were married. She couldn't believe it. She'd pinched herself about a hundred times that day, needing to convince herself that it wasn't a dream. Wincing in pain, and mentally noting never to pinch herself that hard again, she couldn't believe everything he had done for her.
As she approached her husband shyly, she could see a thin golden rim surrounding the purple depths she loved so much.
"What is it, koishii?" he asked, delighting in the blush suffusing her cheeks. She looked radiant, wonderful, absolutely breath-taking.
"How… how did you know?"
She fingered the delicate silk of her wedding kimono, virtually an identical match for the one he had burned months ago.
"I asked Genzai-sensei, and he found a wedding sketch of your mother and father."
Tears began filling in her eyes again, never far that day really, and she could read the panic in her husband's eyes.
"Kaoru, don't…"
She laughed despite the wetness she felt on her cheeks. "I'm just happy, Kenshin. You make me so happy."
"Say it, koishii…" he asked gently, pulling her closer to him, the world around them disappearing as it always did whenever they were near each other.
"Aishiteru, anata."
She could feel her face burning as she said the endearment she still couldn't get used to. She and Kenshin… belonged to each other. She would never be alone again.
"Oi, you two aren't going to kiss in front of everyone now, are you?"
With Kenshin's arms wrapped possessively around her waist, she turned around to smile at Sanosuke.
"Wedding or not, you're asking for it," she said sweetly as she pulled back her fist.
"Think of your kimono!!" was all Sanosuke managed to get out before landing on the ground, seeing stars as Megumi immediately went by his side.
"Serves you right," she muttered, leaning against Kenshin, hearing him chuckle.
"You owe me, Kenshin!" Sanosuke yelled out, waving aside Megumi's help as he got to his feet.
Turning around, she gave her husband a quizzical look, noting the flush upon his cheeks.
"It's nothing, koishii. Just a friendly reminder."
As she met Kenshin's eyes, memories flashed through her mind, from the first time she had met him to the time that he had finally told her he loved her.
"Remember musume-chan, your mother wanted to bring you hope with this wedding kimono. She wanted to see you wear this for the man you love."
The smile on her face dazzled the man holding her as she laced her fingers with the ones around her waist. Sometimes, hope and faith were all you needed to make your wishes come true.