Dear Dair fandom,

I haven't lost hope on Dair, even after 5x24. The episode made so little sense that there must be something underneath. Why would the writers throw away those beautiful (and healthy) moments to get back to an abusive relationship?

So I decided to write this fic to explain what really happened in 5x24 and after. I assumed I can't be worse than GG writers XD

I'd really appreciate your reviews (:

SEPTEMBER 2012.

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make it like it never happened

And that we were nothing

I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger

And that feels so rough

" Could you please turn off the radio? " asked Dan kindly to the taxi driver. The man just grunted, but pressed a button and the car immediately fell silent. Dan could still hear the words ringing in his head like church bells, though.

He looked out of the car's window, gazing at New York's skyscrapers he hadn't seen in so long. He couldn't say he had missed the city – too many people, too many memories.

But the summer was over, and he had had to get back. For the one-hundredth time, he couldn't help but think about how differently things would have gone if she had gone to Italy with him, if she had chosen him. She would be sitting next to him, now, with a summer dress and her hair a bit unkempt for the trip, her eyes excited to be back to the city she loved so much. She would be talking about all the things to do that fall, all the people to meet, all the new exhibits to visit and he would just listen to her, mildly amused by her excitement.

But she wasn't there.

Dan sighed and tried to forget, but it was even harder now that it was back, when every place reminded him of her. When he had landed at JFK he had to close his eyes for a moment and take a deep breath not to be overwhelmed by all the memories of him saving her from her wedding, at all the people's stares, at her in that New York hoodie, at her sleeping on his arm in one of those plastic chairs, at her apologies, at her hug…

Forgetting her – or at least trying – had been easier in Rome, miles and miles from her. He had to admit he had had fun; the city was beautiful, the weather was fantastic, the food great. He had met a lot of new writers, some just as unknown as he was, other more famous, but all friendly and intelligent. He had discussed art, movies (and he often had to stop himself from mentioning her and her witty opinions on the topic), he had written and travelled through the whole region.

He had also meet a girl. Her name was Francesca, she was a 20 years old read-head studying medicine at the University. She was carefree and funny and she had made him laugh more than once. She had read his book and immediately understood why he wouldn't – couldn't – start a serious relationship with her. " I hope everything will be fixed between the two of you " she had told him with a strong Italian accent one evening, before kissing him on the cheek and leaving him standing alone in the doorway.

He had also written a lot – non that scandalous book he had intention to write when he had left. He had realized it was the all the people – not just the ones from the Upper East Side – who were fake, and damaged and broken and made mistake. He had told Georgina he didn't need her help anymore, and she had just scoffed, saying he was too goody-goody to be remotely interesting. She had occasionally texted him to make him change his mind, but he hadn't answered.

Another thing he hadn't answered were Blair's e-mail. He had received – and he still kept receiving – at least five a day, all titled something like You don't know the whole story, It's not what it looks like and Please, at least read this. He hadn't even bothered to open them.

Dan almost didn't realize the taxi stopped in front of the loft. He paid the taxi driver - who grunted again -, took his luggage from the bonnet and walked to the door.

He had almost expected to find her there – she still had the key, now that he thought of it – but of course she wasn't. Rufus wasn't there as well and Dan was surprised, but then remember he had some things he had to fix with Lily about the divorce. Both him and his dad had lived happier periods, and he couldn't wait to talk to him again in person.

He dropped the luggage on the floor, too tired to tidy everything up. He looked around, and his heart hurt when he realized that everything he saw reminded him of Blair. Then he realized why it was that way. Her stuff – clothes, make up, books, DVDs, even her Cabbage Patch – was still on the shelves, like it belonged there. Dan didn't whether to be mad or surprised Blair didn't even send Dorota to take everything back.

He looked at the door she entered so many times and remembered how much it annoyed him she never closed it behind her. He looked at the cookers, remembering that time she had insisted to make dinner and then burnt everything, so they had to order a pizza instead. He looked at the kitchen counter and remembered the time there was no one home so he took her right there, making her squeal when he had lifted her and laid her down the wooden surface. He looked at the couch where they had watched movies together, first as reluctant friends then as lovers and remembered all the times she had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

Gah, he really had to stop.

He had just decided to go make himself something to eat when he heard a knock at the door.

" The past is just a prologue. It all starts from here "

I'm quoting Gossip Girl just to say that I'll explain what happened in 5x24 in the next chapters :P

Reviews would be very much appreciated (: