DISCLAIMER: Everything but the author and her sad obsession with *see her mouth the word: Sephiroth* FF7, belong to Squaresoft. You can easily spot, and avoid original characters by spider-sence. If you're not equipped with one.. see if I care. *makes her 'I'm-so-not-caring' face* ^_^
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm still very much in the process of writing my epic 'Pieces of Us', but I felt like posting the first chapter of this little ficcy anyway. This one's built around an idea I had one night on a walk. What would've happened, if Sephiroth had never gone to Niebelheim? I added a few twists to the cocktail (I suppose that makes this an AU fic?) and tadaa, witness the result. The story begins where the game begun, only Niebelheim's tragic events never took place. Seph never found out about Jenova. Oh and beware: being the evil mastermind that I am, I enjoy planning big crazy plots. Especially such that involve Aer/Seph romance. So despite what you may read in the first chapters of this story, theirs is the pairing I truly support. ^_^ Please feed the review-hungry teenager! *points at herself with both index fingers*
CHAPTER 1.
The same loneliness that
closes us
opens us again.
Like hair loosened by the sea,
slowly the darkness opens into darkness.
- Anne Michaels -
Aeris Gainsborough sat alone on a wooden bench, leaning casually against it's metallic armrest. Her left hand held onto a small basket filled with yellow flowers, placed next to her on the vacant space of the bench. Her emerald green eyes swept over the flowers in a protective manner, a warm smile spreading across her lips. Everyone had told her it was impossible to grow flowers in the slums. But for some reason, the rare wildflowers had thrived in her care. Aeris had planted them all over the front yard of her house, and she kept a private flowerbed in an abandoned church as well. Taking care of them was hard work at times, but it was very rewarding too. Aeris' heart leapt of joy every time a flower forced it's way out of the dark soil to meet the rays of sun. It reminded her, not everything was lost. Even in the slums, where the poor lived their lives forgotten and uncared for, there was hope. And beaty.
Gently brushing her fingertips against the silky smooth petals of her flowers, Aeris turned her eyes to the scenery spreading from where she sat. Tall buildings rose vertically up, to meet the dense carpet of grey that hung on the Midgar sky. Pieces of old newspapers, butts of cigarettes and tattered leaves rolled in the gutter, pushed ahead by muddy rainwater. Every now and then a car rushed past, splattering the water to the dark pavement of the pedestrian street. The streetlamps that stood in a neat row, followed the side of the gutter. They cast circles of amber coloured light in the darkening evening. Aeris frowned at the sight. Everything was concrete and stone, emotionless and sterile. An air of loneliness surrounded the city that was a home for millions. Aeris felt if there ever was a place that needed hope, Midgar was it. And a part of her wasn't too upset at the prospect of pocket money, either.
Crossing her legs at the knees, Aeris dusted her long pink dress. She loved her job, but tonight was hardly the best weather for selling flowers. The cool wind carried promises of rain, as it travelled the vacant streets, pulling at the hem of Aeris' dress as it passed. A shiver ran through her body, and she rubbed her arms to keep the cold at bay. Only moments later the rain begun again, and a grateful sigh passed Aeris' lips as she glanced up. The tin roof that was stretched over the bench, sheltered her from the rain. Thank god that luxury, she thought, getting wet on top of being cold was not something her heart desired for tonight. Aeris decided to wait for the rain to seize before returning to the trainstation to catch the next train for the slums. Casting a glance at the eerie-looking old clocktower looming in the distance, Aeris could see the elegantly designed hands of the tower's clock pointed at two minutes past seven.
Pulling her feet up on the bench, Aeris watched a few people pace past her on the opposite side of the street, covering under their dark-coloured umbrellas. The poaring rain sounded like a gentle hum, highlighted by the waterdrops that drummed the tin roof Aeris was sitting under. The pavement glistened black with the water, reflecting the light the street lamps shone like uneven mirrors. Realizing the rain wasn't about to stop anytime soon, Aeris stood up and picked up her basket. Carrying it in the crook of her arm, Aeris decided to make a run for the trainstation. The last train would leave at eight, and she didn't want to stay on Midgars upper level for the night. Weird people moved around here in the dark; she'd had her fair share of experiences in that area. Living in Midgar turned most people dead inside, since it attracted the worst kind of scum. SOLDIER's were forced to patrol the streets on regular basis, but in spite of that more murders and muggings took place in Midgar than in the rest of the world all together. Turning her back at the bench, a peculiar sight met Aeris' gaze.
A man was walking in the rain. Unlike the others who hid their faces under their umbrellas, dodging each other as they scurried onward, this man walked with a confident stride. Carrying his tall body in perfect posture, he stood out from the crowd like a spot of brilliant colour in a world of greyness. Aeris tilted her head gently as she followed his every move with her eyes. He was dressed entirely in black, and carried an intimidatingly long, narrow bladed sword on his hip. As he moved, the air currents made his long leather coat sway behind him like a cape. Without warning, the man suddenly stopped in mid-stride, as though sencing someone's gaze upon him. His eyes soon settled on Aeris, and returned her scrutinizing stare across the open space.
He was soaking wet, and the long bangles of his silvery hair fell down the sides of his head and back. He had large, ovial shaped eyes, that were of a unique shade of pasific green. Highlighted with the most intense glow of Mako Aeris had ever seen, his eyes were alluring. After an impossibly long while, the man lifted his face to meet the raindrops that fell down as a steady hum. Aeris watched in awe, as he closed his eyes and allowed the drops to explode against his pale skin, tracing the delicate contours of his face as they fell. In the faint light of the street lamps, the raindrops glittered like tears on his skin.
Aeris had never seen anything as beautiful.
Staring back at Aeris again, his face remained neutral and expressionless. However, she could see how fast his mind was processing thoughts. Before Aeris could shoot her best friendly smile at the stranger, he turned on his feet and continued walking away. Out of an impulse Aeris ran after him, into the rain. Quickly crossing the street Aeris failed to notice a car almost ran her over. Forcing her way through the crowd, Aeris kept her eyes locked to the stragers back. Quickly she caught up with him, struggling to keep up with his long stride.
"What do you want." The man growled in a low, warning voice just as Aeris' fingers had reached up to touch his arm.
"N-nothing." Aeris stammered, pulling back her hand. Now that she was facing the man and had his total attention, she had no idea what to say. They both stood silent in the rain, and Aeris could feel the water seeping in through the flimsy fabric of her dress. She was trembling like a leaf, not the least due to the menacing appearance of her companion.
"Just leave me alone." The man grunted, turning his back at Aeris again.
"Hey.. Do you want to buy a flower?" Aeris worried at her lower lip, as the man turned to look at her once more. There was no mistaking the irritation on his face, but she felt a deep sence of loneliness radiating from him too.
"Didn't I just tell you to scram?" He spoke again, towering in front of the significantly shorter woman.
"It's only a gil.." Aeris fidgeted, staring deep into the deep pools of Mako that were his eyes. She didn't know the reason for the uneasiness she was feeling. Usually Aeris was rather confident in the company of men. But not tonight, and certainly not with this particular man. Aeris found herself thinking, what his name was. She picked up a yellow flower to hand out, but as she lifted her gaze, the black-clad man was already walking away. How rude, Aeris thought, but couldn't bring herself to be angry at him. What did you expect, she scolded herself, out here it was a rule of survival not to get involved with casual acquantances. A rule she herself, had never been able to follow.
Breaking her trance like state, Aeris ran to the shelter of a entrance hall to an office building. She stood there a moment, quivering in the cold. Desperately rubbing her arms, Aeris didn't hear the footsteps behind her until a pair of strong, warm arms slid around her waist.
"Hi baby." A husky voice whispered in her ear.
"Hi Zack." Aeris felt like rolling her eyes, but instead a giggle spewed out of her mouth. "What's up?" She asked, turning to face her boyfriend.
Zack was only slightly taller than Aeris, and had hazel coloured eyes and ebony black hair, that stood out in wild, untamed spikes. He was now dressed in his purple battle uniform, his broadsword securely in place on his back. A warm smile lit up Aeris' weary expression at the sight of him. He was sweet, and always very nice to her. The dictionary defenition of a perfect boyfriend.
"There's been a report of AVALANCHE members skulking about Reactor number 2, We're assigned to check it out since the General signed off duty already." Zack explained with enthusiasm in his voice, and pointed towards a small group of men in the distance. They were standing around, waiting for their commander to return from the soaked flowergirl.
"Oh dear. I think I just saw him." Aeris' eyes widened in realization. She had actually talked with the man who had lead the war to Wutai. Somehow she had imagined him bigger in muscles; the natural intelligence in his eyes had given her the first impression of a scientist of sorts.
"Really?" Zack reeled, studying Aeris' surprised expression. He was obviously waiting for an explanation, just like any other irrationally jealous boyfriend would.
"Yeah, I tried to sell him flowers but.. he wasn't interested." Aeris tried to hide the shiver of disappointment underlying in her voice, but to no avail. She had never been good at hiding her emotions, and Zack had the uncanny ability to read her like a book. The result of a long term relationship I guess, Aeris frowned.
"You should stay away from him. The guy has.. issues." Zack warned as an uneasy look flashed over his face.
"Issues?" Aeris asked him.
"Like.. he's in an imminent need of anger management courses." Zack joked, and grinned victoriously at the smile that spread on Aeris' features. That sure sounded like the man she had met earlier, Aeris thought. "But he's a great boss. And you shouldn't bother your pretty little head about it." Zack laughed. Like always, he turned every serious conversation into a laughing matter.
Sometimes it had annoyed Aeris, but tonight she found his attitude only spirit lifting. "Yeah.. He just had the most haunted eyes I've ever seen.." Aeris confessed with a sheepish grin. Talking about another man with her boyfriend was to say the least, awkward. Zack had a strong jealous streak in him, probably due to the fact he had once been a regular ladies' man himself. Strangely enough, he didn't seem the least bit concearned when it came to Sephiroth. Why was that, Aeris bit her lip, the SOLDIER General was certainly more attractive than the Wall Market Inn's clerk they'd met last week. Zack had seriously given her the third degree on the short blond-haired man, just because Aeris had exchanged a few friendly words with him.
"He'd bite your head off should you say that to his face!!" Zack burst into laughter.
Aeris sighed in defeat, admitting it would be best to drop the whole subject of Sephiroth, the SOLDIER General for tonight. It wasn't like she'd ever meet him again, anyway.. Midgar was a huge city. Some would say, a universe of it's own. Two people could live their entire lives there and never meet each other.
"Look hun, gotta go now. I'll catch ya later at Elmyra's OK?" Zack pressed a quick kiss on Aeris' cheek, before taking a step back to leave her company.
Clasping the handle of her flower basket with both hands, Aeris smiled at her boyfriend. "I'll.. see you then." She nodded, a happy sparkle in her eyes.
Zack waved his hand goodbye, shooting a loving smile in Aeris' direction. She returned it with a giggle, but as the form of him dissappeared behind a corner her gaze sunk back to the ground. With a heavy heart, Aeris turned on her heels and headed for the trainstation. Walking ahead with several overlapping thoughts in her mind, Aeris wished she could open her heart and soul to Zack. He was everything she wanted in a boyfriend. Everyone approved of him, even her adopted mother Elmyra who had been warning Aeris of SOLDIER's throughout her adolescence. Why was it then, his confessions of love only made her feel awkward? Aeris knew she cared for Zack, but was she in love with him? The question hanging heavy in the air, Aeris heaved a sigh to recollect her thoughts. She had a train to catch, after all.
* * * * *
After unlocking the door to his one bedroom flat, Sephiroth dropped his keys on top of the large, beechen drawer next to the entrance. After pushing the door shut, he discarded his black knee-high boots, and hung his leather coat up on the cast-iron hatstand standing nearby the door. After clipping loose his Masamune tugged snuggly inside it's sheath, Sephiroth set it gently to the hooks attached to a wall. Other beatifully ornamented weaponry hung on the walls in a similar fashion. Sweeping his eyes over his apartment, they settled to the display case next to a bookshelve. Through the glass doors, several trophies and medals could be seen. They were all covered in dust. Some silver cups had darkened asphalt grey due to lack of polishing.
"Home sweet home." Sephiroth said bitterly, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.
The spacious, sparsely furnitured flat had never felt like a home to him. Touches of life like an abandoned coffee mug from breakfast and the morning's newspaper lay on the kitched table. But without them, it would be anyone's first impression that no-one had taken up permanent residence there. The floor was bare, grey concrete, and the walls painted in a sterile white emitted cold like a warehouse. No paintings hung on the walls, no family photos were scattered on the bookshelves. Sephiroth walked across the bare floor in his black socks, not making a sound as he moved. The whole apartment was eerily silent.
Sephiroth stepped into the kitched, that was spotlessly clean. He opened one of the glass doors of the kitched cupboards, and pulled out a wine glass. Placing it waiting on top of the sink, he reached for the bottle of red wine he kept hidden in the corner cupboard. Pulling it out, Sephiroth noticed the green bottle was still nearly full. A pleased smile flashed on his face, but his eyes never lost their dull glow. Popping the cork open, Sephiroth then made his way back into the living room. In the corner of the room, a metal-coloured floorlamp stood still, sheading light around the shadows. Sephiroth made his way to it, stopping to rest the glass and the wine bottle on top of a coffee table made of glass and metal. Black, sleek looking leather couches surrounded the table. Sephiroth sat down on the closest one of them with a heavy sigh, reaching across the small space to poar himself a glass full of wine. This was an almost daily routine to him now, and he found himself reassuming the comfortable position against the back of the couch. The smooth leather felt nice against his bare skin, as it warmed up at the touch of his body.
Almost like another person, Sephiroth thought, quickly shrugging off the thought. He sipped at his wine, relishing the taste, and then turned his gaze at the scenery spreading from the main window. The thin, cream white linen curtains were pulled to the sides, revealing a view of the nocturnal Midgar. Darkness of night blurred the outlines of skyscrapers, and the lights shining through the windows of offices seemed to hover in mid air like fireflies on top of a meadow. Down below Sephiroth could see neonsigns flashing in red and green, and the beams of passing cars' headlights danced over the white ceiling of his home. Sephiroth finished his drink and put down the glass, letting the back of his head rest against the black leather of his couch. A beam of light travelled across the ceiling, and Sephiroth's eyes followed it intensely like it was intruding his privacy.
Turning his head ever so gently, Sephiroth saw a red light flickering in his answering machine. He stood up and marched to the beechen drawer, on top of which his keys lay. As his fingers reached out to press the 'play' button on the black machine, Sephiroth shot a glance at the mirror positioned on the wall, just above the drawers surface. His inexpressive eyes stared back at himself through the reflection. A sence of numbness settled in Sephiroth's heart, and he welcomed it. "You have.. one new message." A mechanic voice purred through the answering machine's speakers. Even as a sharp beep told Sephiroth the message was about to begin, he made his way towards his bedroom, instictively knowing it would not be anything worth paying much attention to. Still, the trained SOLDIER in Sephiroth refused to delete any messages before listening to them.
"Hi, it's Silky here." The soft voice of a woman begun insecurely.
Sephiroth groaned at her voice, and paced past the kitchen to the open door leading to his bedroom. The lonely double-bed positioned under a window looked inviting, the covers pulled aside to reveal the black satin sheets. The end of the bed was of dark, polished wood, that arched on top of the pillows in an elegant manner. On both sides of the bed were nightstands. On the left one, lay an open book and an empty glass of water. On the other side, a table lamp stood unlit.
"I waited two hours in that rathole you call an apartment, and you never showed up. You're an ass." The woman's voice scolded through the loud-speakers, badly concealed anger in her voice.
Sephiroth just walked to the large closet in his bedroom, pulling both the wooden doors open to inspect the clothing left on the metallic hangers. He picked a black silken shirt, throwing it casually on.
"And don't think I won't charge you for wasting my time. Call me, alright?" The woman finished with a sigh, and ended her phonecall. A silence settled back into the apartment after the answering machine announced there were no more messages.
Sephiroth didn't bother buttoning up his shirt, but instead made his way to a bedside table, pulling open the drawer. He met the familiar sight of a handgun with a silver handle. In a loving manner, Sephiroth wound his fingers around the handle, enjoying the feel of the gun. He then used his free hand to push the drawer closed again, and left the bedroom with look of grim determination on his face.
Entering the living room again, Sephiroth paced slowly to the large drawer and pulled open the middle drawer. It contained among other things a white envelope, which he picked up. His fingertips traced it's edges, as he pushed the drawer shut again. It made a subdued thump as it closed, after which Sephiroth spent a moment just watching the envelope he held in his hand. There was no adressee marked to it. Sephiroth wasn't sure why he'd taken the time to write the letter. A part of him accepted there was no-one left to write to. The other part of him just screamed at the injustice. Calmly blinking, Sephiroth turned his back at the drawer and returned to his favourite spot on the couch. He let go of the gun and envelope, to poar himself another glass of wine. With a tilt of the glass, the crimson red liquid flowed past his lips and down his throat.
Sephiroth's pasific green eyes were drawn to the scenery spreading from the window. The cold northern breeze that ran on the midgarian streets had scattered the heavy layer of grey clouds, revealing sections of the night sky. The moon was full, and though hidden from view, it's shimmering glow echoed off the ash grey remnants of clouds the wind couldn't disperse. Sephiroth stared at the moon, and at a few flickering stars he could make out through the bright lights of the city, his gaze wistful and sad. The pale surface of his skin drank in the moonlight, while his ears consentrated on listening to the steady beat of his heart and the humming of blood coursing through his veins. Drawing in a deep breath, Sephiroth reached for his gun. With a practised movement, he removed the clip and checked for ammunition. One bullet. Casting a glance at the white envelope, he pushed the clip back in and flicked the safety catch off. Letting go of the gun for a moment, Sephiroth lifted the envelope up, supporting it against the half empty wine bottle. Perfect, he smirked in his cold, trademark way. Leaning back against the leather of the couch, Sephiroth rewound his fingers around the handle of the gun, his index finger gently positioned against the trigger. Heavy bangles of hair that framed his face, overshadowed his eyes that held nothing but weariness and pain.
The phone rang. Sephiroth turned his head, but made no move to pick up the receiver. The answering machine beeped as it sprung into action. Sephiroth's ears caught the end of the message he had recorded to the answering machine. "I'm not home, leave a message.." His voice sounded nonchalant and cold.
"Hey, wonderboy!" A bright voice spoke over the connection. "Pick up the phone, it's urgent." The man continued in a slightly more serious tone.
Sephiroth's gaze fell to the gun in his hand, and he watched vacantly as his fingers retreated from the silver handle, and flicked the safety catch back on. Abandoning the gun to the coffee table, Sephiroth stood up and paced to the phone.
"What is it?" He snapped at the voice on the line.
"Truce!" The man laughed, and Sephiroth could almost hear the smug grin that had settled on the mans face.
"The AVALANCHE have struck again. And the President is getting annoyed, he want's the best of the best on this." A hint of admiration could be heard from the man's voice, as he kept talking. Sephiroth just listened quietly at his summary of the events that had occurred just moments ago.
"You'd better make this go away, or else he's posting all our buts somewhere on the Northern Continent. And freezing to death ain't my idea of a career move, if you get my meaning." The man ended the phone-call.
Sephiroth held the receiver to his ear, listening to the empty line. A look of irritation flashed on his face, but quickly he shifted back into the comfortable role of a SOLDIER General. He walked to the coffee table, and picked up the white envelope still laying there. With a newly discovered resolve Sephiroth tore the letter into shreds, and then dropped the pieces to a waste-paper basket hidden between the large drawer and his writing desk. Sephiroth grabbed his sword, clipping it back on. His thoughts revolving around this new mission, Sephiroth grabbed his leather coat and boots, and got dressed. Quickly he snatched his keys from on top of the drawer, shoving them to the pocket of his black slacks before opening the door and stepping out into the hallway. The door fell closed behind him, the air currents making a piece of the shredded letter whirl on the concrete floor. Two words written in beautiful, gently tilted handwriting were visible on the small patch of paper; 'Forgive me'. A draft threw the paper under the couch, to huddle against it's metallic leg.
I had my doubts about this chapter, no actually this story in total, so some major revising took place with it. For like ten times before I posted this. ^_^ Ah, well. Since this is the first chapter, I'd love to hear your comments? So please do the feedback thing! I know there wasn't much romance yet, but trust me, the melodrama will come. Urgh, this one I hate but it must be said: since I'm still pretty busy with Pieces of Us (Last chapters!! Yikes!!) I'm sure it'll take a while before the next update. I'll try to work extra fast, but I can't make any promises. *winces* Sorry!!