And it's gonna hurt sometimes,
No matter what you do.
But nothing can change my mind.
If I'm too young to fall in love,
Why do you keep running through my brain?
And I'm too young to know anything,
Why do I know that I'm just not the same?
Don't tell me I won't, don't tell me I can't feel,
What I'm feeling is real.
Cause I'm not too young.
~~~ Too Young ~~~ Sabrina Carpenter ~~~ Eyes Wide Open, 2015~~~
"You cannot be in love with Lucas."
The words hung in the air, echoing in her head. The pumping of her heartbeat pounded in her ears.
"But why not!?" An almost-sixteen-year-old Riley Matthews sat at the dinner table, a confused look on her face as she swallowed the bite of pizza in her mouth to prevent choking herself. Her mother was working late at the law firm that night, so to make things easier, Cory had ordered a pizza.
Her sat across from her, letting out a sigh. "Because..." the words seemed painful to say. "You're just too young, okay?"
Too young?! the thought was infuriating. "But you and mom... you had your first date when you were two!" she protested.
"What, when we played in the playground? That wasn't a date."
Riley sighed, her frown deepening as she fought back tears. This was worse than her father carrying her away and locking Lucas out of the classroom, before he asked her out on her first date. She didn't understand what he was saying now- it didn't make any sense to her. All she knew was that it kind of hurt.
"What about when you kissed against the lockers? Or threw socks into a laundry basket?" she asked, recounting the stories she'd heard about her parents in her head. "You can't tell me I'm too young to be in love when you had your first kiss in the sixth grade!"
Tears stung her eyes as she held her father's gaze. Cory stared at her for what felt like forever, the seconds ticking by slower and slower, until he finally spoke.
"We were eleven, Riley, we didn't even know what love really is. Neither do you."
"But I'll be sixteen in a few months!" the tears finally spilled over, and she threw her hands up in the air.
Cory sighed. "Riley, listen to me-"
"Listen to you?!" Riley cried, standing up from her seat. "Why should I? You don't even know me at all, do you?!"
"Riley-"
"I'm growing up, Dad! I'm not a little girl anymore. You have to let me grow up, don't you understand that?!"
"I understand that perfectly," Cory sighed. "But you're trying to grow up too fast and I'm not ready!"
Riley just glared at him, turning away.
Maybe she was overreacting. But a casual conversation at the dinner table had turned into a serious talk that basically bashed everything she had been feeling. Warm, wet tears tumbled down her face, and she left the table, no sure where her feet were taking her until she realized she was walking towards her room.
She slipped in, locking the door behind her. Somewhere inside, she was surprised that Cory hadn't called after her.
It didn't matter to her anymore.
Riley grabbed her laptop and curled up in her window. She tried wiping her tears, but as soon as they were gone, more quickly came to replace them. As she waited for it to start up, a heart breaking thought pierced her mind like a knife.
What if he's right?
The laptop finally booted up, and she found herself smile at her screensaver, a selfie of her and Lucas, grinning goofily and having the time of their lives. Her heart fluttered as she looked into his emerald green eyes, and she felt a strange feeling, a feeling of deep affection for the boy in the picture.
A thought occurred to her; if she was too young to fall in love, why did he keep running through her brain?
Then her heart sank, Cory's words echoing through her head. What if she didn't know what love was? What if she really was too young to know anything about what she was feeling? What if-
No. She knew how she felt. She felt different whenever she was around him. She didn't have to think. And when she wasn't with him, she still thought about him all the time. She wasn't the same person without him. Her feelings were real. That much she did know. She wasn't too young.
Riley clicked on the photos folder on the desktop, and began scrolling through the many pictures. Some were of her, and Maya, and Farkle, but her favorites were the ones with Lucas. She felt warm and fuzzy as she began to recall all of the fun times and moments they'd shared.
It always seemed like people at her school -cough- Missy -cough- were rushing and rushing to grow up- to wear makeup and get their driver's license and all of that. Riley had never understood that. Why couldn't they just enjoy their childhood?
Riley didn't want to grow up any faster. She hated seeing her father get so worked up. She was his first and only daughter- if she put herself if his shoes she wouldn't want her to grow up any faster either.
What she didn't like was being told she was too young to know what she was feeling. Especially by someone who had been in love with the same girl since he was two years old. And the way he'd said it- scolding her like a disobedient child.
"What if I was in the wrong?" she wondered aloud, a tear streaming down her cheeks. I snapped at him, and all he wanted to do was stop me from growing up too fast.
But I don't want to go slow.
It hurts.
She cried silently, still scrolling through all of the pictures on her laptop. All she wanted to do was talk with Lucas, tell him about what her father had said. He was the only one who could reassure her.
Because reflecting back, she knew how she felt. Despite her doubts, deep down inside, part of her knew her feelings were real. It would just take Lucas being their to help.
Riley sat there for a good few minutes, staring at the computer screen. Ten, twenty, maybe even thirty minutes- she'd lost track of time, she didn't even know. But as a tapping sound reached her ears, her head shot up.
Brown eyes met green, her heart stopped for a second. Lucas.
There he was, behind the glass, his charming white smile and sparkling green eyes making Riley feel as if she were floating. She didn't even hear his voice and she already knew he would be able to help her.
She smiled, and opened the window. "Lucas!"
~~~The End~~
