Title: Time and Place
Declaimer: I do not own iCarly nor am I profiting from this work.
Summary: Freddie hasn't seen Sam since she abruptly left Seattle two years before. Now they are in different places and on different paths but it feels right.
Snow drifted down from the sky earlier than usual for New England. There had been a freak blizzard a few days before and black snow lined both sides of the street. The pure white fluff that floated from the sky seemed to turn black the second it touched the earth mixed with dirt, mud and Boston. Fall was abruptly rushed out and winter was here. Cambridge was ugly in the winter. Thanksgiving was in three days and Freddie Benson didn't feel thankful about anything. He hated the city he was in, he hated college, he hated his friends and he hated the girlfriend who had just dumped him. He didn't hate her for the dumping rather the dumping came about because of his hatred.
In a foul mood, Freddie rushed past the security guard manning the desk of his dormitory and headed straight to his room. His roommate was sitting there figuring out the basics of quantum mechanics. He gave him a curt nod and went back to his book. It was his second year at MIT and Freddie seemed to get more miserable everyday. He had never been one to handle his misery with grace and he wasn't about to start now.
Freddie wasn't going to be able to go home for Thanksgiving. Nobody he knew was going home for Thanksgiving. Not even those who lived close by. Finals were coming up and that was all anyone could think or talk about. It was depressing. His sophomore year was turning out to be worse than his freshman year. People were becoming increasingly competitive for sought after positions as research assistants or interns. People would do anything to obtain one of those elusive "As" professors were so stingy about giving out. At this point last year Freddie had been no different. But, at that moment, he didn't care. Freddie logged onto his laptop with the intent of finishing a paper when he noticed an alert at the top of his homescreen. In that second his heart stopped.
Freddie and Carly were sitting on her couch watching late night television and gossiping about the terrible dates they had just been on.
"That was the worst date I have ever had in my entire life." Carly said to him as she leaned against his arm. "He talked about wrestling all night and then made me pay!"
"Yeah, well I would kill for a date who cared about wrestling. Anything would be more interesting than dinner with that girl from my mother's church. She listed all of the ways I was going to hell and then wanted to make out."
"Did you?"
"Well, yeah I am a guy but I will not be calling her back."
Carly laughed lightly and put her head on his shoulder.
"I still think my relationship with you was the easiest and sweetest relationship I have ever had. It shouldn't all be so hard." Carly said lightly. Freddie nodded in agreement. This wasn't the first time Carly had said something like this. Lately, they would both hint about their past frequently. It had been easy and natural. No fighting. No excitement for a first date only to realize you had nothing in common.
"Well, it would be hard for things to go wrong in three days. But, yeah, it was sweet." Freddie responded still hoping to keep some distance between their words and reality. They were seniors in high school. Although grades still mattered both were guaranteed to get into colleges of their choice. Now was the time to just relax and have fun in a relationship. It wasn't the time for drama or angst.
Without a moment's hesitation Carly reached up and kissed him. It was nice. Light and soft. Nothing too serious. He wouldn't mind doing it again. Neither would she. It seemed like without words they had reached an understanding.
"We should talk to Sam." Carly said with a light smile.
"Yeah, I think her only concern will be that you can do much better." Carly laughed in agreement with his words. Freddie and Sam had broken up sometime ago and he would be lying if he said there wasn't any lingering awkwardness there. But she had moved on and on and on. With each new boyfriend it seemed like she spent less time with both Freddie and Carly. Neither believed she had any feelings left over for Freddie.
The talk wasn't as easy as they imagined. They cornered her while she was working a shift at Gibby's. Lately, it seemed like the only time she was in school was to work at Gibby's. She seemed to know before they even approached her.
"So, you two finally got that desperate, huh?"
"Sam. It isn't like that. It just kind of makes sense you know?" Carly said nervously. Freddie didn't say anything. Suddenly, for some reason, he had a lump in his throat. He wanted to be anywhere else.
"Yeah, when you have exhausted every other guy who will look at you the one left over does make sense." Sam responded but she was smiling and her words didn't have much bite. "Look, I figured it was just a matter of time before this happened. You two have been sniffing around each other for months. I don't know if you want my blessing or something but go for it. I am happy for you. I mean it."
And with that she turned around before they could say anything else on the topic. They didn't see Sam for the next couple of days, which wasn't unusual. After a brief and inedible meal with his mother, Freddie spent Thanksgiving with Carly and Spencer. They cuddled as they watched movies and pretended they didn't notice Spencer's quiet disapproval. Suddenly, it all felt wrong and they didn't know why.
Sam didn't show up for iCarly the next day. Carly attempted to do it herself with the assistance of Baggles but it didn't work. And they shut It down early. They both decided to rush over to her house and demand an explanation for her rudeness. Really, they both missed her. No one answered the door and the lights were all off . But Freddie still had his key from when he used to sneak over there at night, after his mother tucked him in. They entered with the plan of waiting in her bedroom until she got home. Freddie hoped with all of his heart that she came home alone.
But her room was in disarray. More than normal. Her closet door was open but all that was in there were some empty hangars and old converse sneakers. Her small collection of books, that nobody other than Freddie even knew she had, were all gone. The spot on the shelf where she kept her nunchucks was empty. Her PearPhone was laying on her unmade bed.
"SAM! Sam is that you? You are in so much fucking trouble…" Freddie and Carly turned to the voice screaming behind them.
With the stealth of a lagoon monster, Pam Puckett appeared behind them. She smelled of booze and looked as though she had recently crawled out of a gutter.
"Shit, kids, you can't do this to a woman. I thought you were Sam."
"Where is she?"
"Gone. She… told me she was leaving and we fought. After all of those years of arrests and juvie I really thought she turned a corner. I let myself think she would graduate high school. Maybe do something with her life. But I was wrong. She is just like her father. She broke my heart."
"What do you mean gone?" Carly screeched. "You have to know where she went."
"You know I have done a lot of things I am not proud of. I have been with married men, married women, priests, all sorts of convicts, but there is a line you don't cross, kiddo. You don't go after a friend's guy." But Pam's voice, slightly slurred from the alcohol, didn't have any recriminations. She didn't seem angry or upset with them.
"What? No. It isn't like that." Carly insisted. "That was months ago. She doesn't even like Freddie as a person anymore. She said it was OK."
"You kept her out of trouble for years. You fed her and gave her a safe place because some of those guys I hung out with weren't the best. Some of those guys… some of those guys I shouldn't have let near my daughters… But you gave her a safe place. I will always be grateful for that." Pam said resigned. "She would have left eventually, anyway. If it wasn't this it would be something else. I always knew she would leave, eventually."
"She said it was OK." Carly insisted again with more ferocity. She was crying and Freddie didn't totally understand why. This couldn't be real. It wasn't real. Sam was having one of her massive overreactions but she would come back. She would get her way. They wouldn't date anymore. They would do whatever she wanted to make it right. Just like they always did.
"She is just like her father. All of that charm. Even when you know better they make you think this time will be different. But the second things get a little too tough they take off. It isn't your fault. She is just like her father." Pam's words became more slurred as tears mixed with the alcohol.
She didn't come back. Freddie stubbornly insisted on dating Carly for another two months. Just to teach the non-existent Sam a lesson. Just as stubbornly he refused to ever take part in another iCarly. Slowly, they drifted apart. It all felt wrong without Sam. Not even because of their increasing sense of the betrayal they committed. Their time together just wasn't as fun without Sam there.
Two years ago, almost to the day, he had set up a Google alert for the name Sam Puckett. During that time a man named Sam Puckett, who was benefiting from Freddie's own web developing skills, was quite active. Flooding Freddie with alerts constantly. But never her. That morning had been different. It was a link to a blurb in the Village Voice about a small group of improv comedians, connected with the Upright Citizen Brigade, doing a show in the Lower East Side in New York. There was a photo attached. Sam Puckett, his Sam Puckett, doing a mock gangster pose surrounded by three other people. New York City. A four hour drive from where Freddie was sitting right now.
She had left them on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. She had left her phone laying on her unmade bed, leaving them no way to call her and no way to trace her. She had deleted her Twitter and Splashface accounts. She didn't respond to e-mails. Suddenly she had just disappeared. And now, just as suddenly, she had reappeared. Two years later and apparently pursuing a career in comedy in New York City. Freddie believed it was fate. And he knew any talk of fate would get him laughed at by the soon to be scientists, engineers, and tech geniuses that surrounded him. Abandoning those precious study hours granted by Thanksgiving break would be inconceivable to them. He went to the Daschund website and booked a bus to New York City.