Advice from the Love Guru, Natsu Dragneel
...
"You know, Droopy Eyes, you're way more stupider than me," Natsu Dragneel said one day. He and his friend (kinda) Gray were enjoying a nice cold beer on a hot summer day. The guild was empty, save for Mira and a few handfuls of other people.
"You realize that 'more stupider' is wrong right?" replied Gray, a slightly annoyed twitch in his left brow.
"Yeah, man, whatever. But I meant you're stupider in another way," Natsu remarked, an arrogant lilt in his voice.
The ice mage looked at his companion and asked, "What way?"
"You're stupid with girls." That was it, plain and simple.
"Che," was all Gray managed to say. "S'that all?"
Natsu added, "Juvia's way too good for ya."
At that, Gray choked on his drink. "What the fuck are you talking about, you little shit?"
"I'm talking about Juvia, you asswipe."
"I know that." Gray blushed. "W-what about her?"
"Did you not just hear what I said?" he asked. "I just told you that she's outta your league."
Was Gray Fullbuster actually listening to this? Gray was out of Juvia's league? Did he just—
"I mean, Juvia's nice as hell, and she's pretty hot, too... And she's got a nice rack, you should know. You groped her."
Tell him something he didn't know.
"So... you like her? Is that it?" He hadn't meant to sound angry. Maybe.
Natsu spluttered, "W-what, NO! I've got Luce, Ice Brain!"
"So why are we talking about this?"
"Well, you should ask her out," Natsu said.
Gray? Ask Juvia out?
No fucking way.
"Why?"
Natsu laughed and said in a matter-of-factly tone, "Because she likes you and you like her."
"W-what? I never said I liked her!" Gray defended, slamming his fists on top of the smooth wooden bar top.
"Oh, please, Gray," Mira joined in, "It's very obvious that you like her too!"
"And hands off my bar please, I just wiped it down."
Why was everybody ganging up on him?
"N-no! I don't like her that way! She and I are just friends!" he stressed, getting up from his barstool.
Mira and Natsu exchanged knowing looks, before the dragon slayer said, "Yeah, right, Ice Freak."
Suddenly, a flash of golden hair partially obscured Natsu.
"Hey, Luce!" the dragon slayer exclaimed as his girlfriend planted a kiss on his cheek. He looked pointedly at Gray, as if to prove a point. He had a girlfriend, and the ice mage didn't.
Gray groaned.
"Hi, Gray," Lucy beamed. "What're you two talking about?"
It was Natsu who said, "I was just telling Gray that he and Juvia should hook-up soon."
Lucy laughed. "Yeah, you should!"
A groan came from Gray, "Not you, too."
Lucy chuckled, before saying that she and Erza were taking a short mission and that she had dropped by to say good-bye.
"But, Lu-uuuu-ce," Natsu whined, "I just got back from my own mission, and we haven't been together in ages!"
"It'll only be a day," Lucy assured the salmon-haired man. She planted a kiss on his lips, her intentions purely innocent.
Natsu, however, had other plans.
The man pulled her to him, snaking an arm around her waist while the other climbed its way towards her ample—
"Okay, Lucy! Stop devouring each other's faces. We have a train to catch," Erza bellowed, causing the couple to break apart— reluctantly, suffice to say.
Gray bit back his disgust at their display of ardent affection, Lucy giving Natsu another searing kiss before Erza pulled the two apart.
Sure, it was pretty gross seeing Natsu and Lucy suck face, but he had to admit—he was pretty envious.
Not of Natsu or Lucy, but what they had between them. They obviously held strong feelings for each other, that much was obvious. Watching them interact caused his chest to tighten—he wanted that too. He wanted to have someone to hold, and to kiss and to hug. That sounded gay as hell and he would never admit it to anyone, but it was true.
So he made up his mind.
"Okay, I'm heading out," he announced, causing Natsu to flinch.
"But the Love Guru isn't finished helping you hook up...!"
Gray stilled momentarily, taking in Natsu's idiocy. He sighed and waved hand as he walked out of the guild doors.
He hated to admit it, but maybe Natsu was right. It was time to kiss the water mage senseless and go out with her.