Bathtime
By Mr. Crash

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"Scrub a dub dub, I love to rub."

Inuyasha snatched at the floating wooden duck. He pushed it along the top of the water. "Oh no, it's the evil demon duck!" he shouted gleefully. He turned to his right and grabbed at the toy figurine of a samurai that had been floating in the water. "And now it's up to the super samurai to stop him!" He smashed the two toys together and then threw them both in the air. They landed with a small splash in the water.

Of all the things in life, Inuyasha felt that he enjoyed bathtime the most. It was the only time when he was free to act as he pleased, when he didn't have to put on a tough-guy facade and could just kick back and be himself. Currently, he was bathing in a large pool that lay at the foot of a waterfall, playing with his favorite bathtime toys.

Inuyasha now picked up a small female figurine. "Oh no," he said in a high, falsetto voice, "whatever shall we do?" He reached to his left and picked up the floating samurai toy. "Don't worry," he said, deepening his voice, "I'll save you." He held up the female figurine. "Oh," he said, now back in falsetto voice, "Inuyasha, you're so brave, you're the best samurai in the world!" He pressed the samurai and female toys together and made loud kissing noises.

Inuyasha tossed the female toy aside and grabbed the floating duck. "And so," he said in a dramatic voice, "our hero, the brave Inuyasha, went to confront the terrible duck demon." He held the samurai figure in both hands, and moved it along the surface of the water, sneaking up and preparing to attack.

"Suddenly, the samurai struck!" He lifted the samurai high into the air and smashed it down onto the duck, a splash of water. "There was a terrible explosion!" He grabbed the duck and the samurai. "KABLOOIE!" He hurled both of the toys into the air.

He went to the edge of the pool and grabbed a fourth figurine. This one looked like a samurai, but had had one of its arms snapped off. "Suddenly," he said in his announcer-voice, "an interloper appeared!" He cleared his throat and then, in a slow and stupid-sounding voice, said "Der, I'm Sesshomaru, and I'm here to fight you Inuyasha!"

He picked up the floating samurai toy. "Prepare for battle!" he said in a commanding voice, and then smashed the two samurai figures together again and again. "Bam! Bam! Bam! Oh no!" After ten seconds of this, he pulled the figurines apart. "Oh, Inuyasha," he said in his idiot-sounding voice, "you have defeated me! I'm a stupidhead!" And with that, Inuyasha hurled the one-armed toy into the surrounding woods as hard as he could.

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Sango sat, back against a tree, deep in thought.

'Hm...How do I feel?' she asked herself. 'I want to like him, and he seems to be interested in me, but he's always chasing other women, and-' Her thoughts were interrupted, as a small object landed suddenly in her lap. Startled, she picked up the object. "What the..." It was a small figurine. It looked like a samurai, but was missing an arm.

Kagome, who'd been sitting across from her, stared at the toy that Sango held in her hands. "What is it?" she asked.

"Well, it looks like a samurai figurine..." replied Sango in a puzzled voice. "It just landed in my lap."

"Where did it come from?"

"Well, based on the way it landed in my lap, I think it came from that direction." She waved her hand to the right, indicating the general direction she thought it came from.

Kagome frowned. "Isn't the waterfall over that way? Where Inuyasha is bathing?"

Sango nodded. "Yeah, it is." She looked back at the one-armed toy. "What, do you think he has something to do with this?"

She laughed. "No, I doubt it. Inuyasha doesn't seem the type to play with toys." She giggled. "Just the thought of him playing with toys makes me laugh."

"Well, if Inuyasha isn't responsible for this, who is?"

"I don't know...Should we go check it out?"

"Sure!"

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"And so our hero's attentions returned to the terrible and mighty DUCK DEMON OF DOOM!"

In Inuyasha's left hand was the samurai. In his right hand was the toy duck. "This," he said in a deep, powerful voice, "will surely be the greatest battle of all time!"

"Suddenly, the duck demon attacked, sending a massive tidal wave at Inuyasha!" Inuyasha dragged his hand over the top of the water, creating small waves that splashed over the toy samurai.

"Ah, no, I'm drowning!" He pulled the toy underwater. "Oh no! Is this the end of our hero?" He paused for dramatic effect. "NO!" He pulled his arm out of the water and held the samurai high above the water. "OUR HERO IS BACK WITH A VENGENCE!" He smashed the samurai toy down on the duck again and again and again. "The demon duck can't handle the onslaught. IT IS DEFEATED!"

Inuyasha did his best to imitate the sound of a duck dying. "Quaaaaaaaaaaaack!" he shouted, spraying spit everywhere. He held the samurai high in the air. "Nothing can defeat the invincible Inuyasha!" He took a victory lap around the pool, holding the samurai high in the air the whole time.

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"Ah, come on Kagome, let's go back. I don't think we're ever going to find out where the toy came from," said Sango. She and Kagome had been looking for about ten minutes, and still had no clue as to the source of the figurine.

"Alright. Come on, let's go-" Kagome was interrupted as the sound of shouting cut through the otherwise quiet forest. "What was that?" she asked, bewildered.

"It sounded like Inuyasha! And he sounded like he was fighting!"

Kagome's eyes widened. "Come on!"

They ran through the forest to the sound of Inuyasha's voice. They were close to the waterfall. They'd be there any second...

"OUR HERO IS BACK WITH A VENGENCE!" Sango and Kagome both froze.

They crept up to a tree that was on the edge of the clearing surrounding the pool. They both peeked around it. They both felt their jaws drop.

Inuyasha was playing with a toys while taking a bath. He had a toy samurai in one hand and a bright yellow duckie in the other.

The two girls were giggling like crazy as they watched Inuyasha play with his toys. Inuyasha, unaware of their presence, continued narrating the action in a loud voice and shouting at the top of his lungs. After taking a victory lap, he grabbed a bar of soap and began to wash his upper body.

He started singing. "Scrub a dub dub, I love to rub. Scrub a dub dub, I love to rub."

The girls were covering their mouths, trying not to let Inuyasha hear their laughter. Eventually, though, they were unable to hold back any longer, and burst out laughing.

Inuyasha froze. He slowly turned around and stared at the girls. He turned beet-red. "HOW MUCH HAVE YOU SEEN?!" he bellowed furiously.

"Just...just since..." Kagome tried to answer, but she couldn't say anymore, because she was laughing so hard.

Inuyasha calmly collected his toys. He got out of the pool - the girls were to busy laughing to notice him naked - and dressed. He picked up his toys and walked back to the camp, determined to remain dignified.