I don't know what made me write this. I've wanted to write a one shot for a while now, not one so sad, but this is what came to me so I went with it. This is a one shot based on the song Everytime It Rains by Ace of Base. I own nothing Twilight or the song. Enjoy and please review!
Days, months, years, time passes by so slow without him. It's been 3 years, but it feels like an eternity. I wanted to move as far away from Forks as possible to go to college, and lucky for me NYU offered me a full scholarship. It doesn't rain as often here, but when it does you can find me here, sitting by my window listening to the seconds tick by from the clock on the wall. Well, actually I always end up here when I'm not in class, at work, or sleeping, hell sometimes I even fall asleep here. Every second feels like hours, every minute more excruciating than the last as I listen to the tick of the second hand. My heart aches in my chest clenching tight while I watch the clouds roll in.
It's getting dark outside, the rain is coming, and I can feel it. No matter how far I run I can't forget him. I don't even know if I really want to. How could you forget someone ever existed when every drop of rain reminds you of them? Every tiny drop of wetness reminds me of his lips on my lips, his cold skin against mine, the slickness of his hair, his cool breath on my neck, the wet drops sliding across my skin when he finally made me his. I don't regret it; I could never regret making love to Edward Cullen, even with everything that happened after wards, even knowing what I do now I'd do it all over again.
We had just left his house when I couldn't take the silence anymore. The events of the evening had already shattered everything we worked so hard to build. My 18th birthday had gone even more horrible than I expected and I had the stitches in my arm to prove it.
"Jasper didn't mean to do it, Edward. It was an accident," I said pulling over to the side of the road and shutting off the engine.
My words did nothing to stir him from his catatonic state. The only sound now was once again the light pitter patter of rain on the roof of my Chevy. I reached out to grab his hand with mine and he jerked away opening the passenger door and climbing out. I jumped from my seat grabbing at the handle and throwing open the door.
"This is ridiculous. Why won't you talk to me?" I shouted to him as the rain dripped down over my face, my lips, soaking my clothes.
He stood there as the rain poured over his bronze hair making it stick to his face. His features were a mask of indifference, emotionless and empty. I rushed over to him gripping his face between my hands, but he didn't pull away this time instead he stared into my eyes and the sorrow in his matched my own. The rain drops rolled down his cheeks taking the place of tears that he could never shed.
"If this is about my soul, don't worry about that because I don't have one, Edward, not anymore. You have everything of mine, my heart, and my soul, all of it!" I pleaded staring into the golden pools of his eyes. "All that I am is yours."
His lips captured mine and the kiss was passion and hurt all rolled into one. My heart ripped more with each caress of his lips causing me to whimper and cry mixing my salty tears with the fresh water rain. It deepened and his tongue wrestled against mine as his shoulders trembled with dry sobs. His taste was intoxicating, his scent overwhelmingly strong from the rain. My hands gripped on to his hair pulling me as close as I could get him as his arms encircled my waist. I moaned into his mouth and he groaned in response tightening his hold on me almost too tight.
He dragged me back to the truck laying me across the bench seat and kneeling above me never moving his mouth from mine. My fingers curled around his shirt tugging and pulling as my need for him grew, my arousal pooling between my legs. Edward groaned and moved his lips, trailing them down to my neck as I withered and whimpered underneath of him. His hands moved underneath my dress and with the flick of a wrist it was gone, in small ripped pieces on the floor.
"Please, please," I begged as he ran his hands up and down my body grabbing onto my breasts and massaging them in his hands over my silk bra.
I arched my back into him and he pulled back. I could see the question in his eyes. Did I really want this? I knew deep down that this wouldn't change anything, that Edward would probably never be the same as he had been just two hours prior, but I panted and whimpered nodding my head repeatedly in encouragement. I wanted to give him all of me, make me his. He unclasped my bra gently and pulled my panties off. I clawed at his shirt again and he ripped it from his body along with his pants and boxers. Edward was naked in front of me and I couldn't even think straight as the water from his hair dripped on to me making my nipples pebble up even harder under his cool touch.
"So beautiful," he murmured as he sucked my nipple into his mouth covering his sharp teeth with his lips.
I groaned as he circled the taut pebble with his tongue gliding his hand down to my hot soaked center. When his fingers ran between my folds I bucked my body into his as I let out a loud uninhibited moan.
"So hot, so wet," he whimpered as his fingers began to thrust into me causing heat to rise in me.
"I need you inside of me. Make me yours," I panted wriggling and getting closer to climax, but I didn't want to release this way I wanted to feel him in me when I let myself go.
I saw the fear flash across his features, his fingers stopping there movement, so I reached up and placed my palm against his cool cheek rubbing it softly with my over heated hand as he removed his fingers.
"You have to tell me if I need to stop, Bella. I could never live with myself if I caused you pain," he replied in a strained voice and I gave him a gentle nod.
Then I could feel him at my entrance tugging at skin as he pushed gently forward. There was a burn, a slight discomfort as I stretched to accommodate him, but I urged him on clasping his shoulders in my hands. He thrust into me slowly reaching my barrier and stopping to allow me time to relax.
"I am so sorry," he whispered into my ear hurt in his velvet voice and at the same time he broke through.
I let out a gasp before clenching my teeth together to stop the whimper of pain from escaping me. After taking a deep breath I nodded for him to continue and he pushed forward. He pumped into me slow and after a short time the pain gave way to friction and the friction gave way to pleasure and I started to buck into him wanting him to go faster.
His lips were everywhere, on my lips, on my neck, leaving open mouth kisses on my chest and collar bone as he grunted and moaned. His thrusts became more urgent and my stomach started to coil, I was getting close, so close.
"Edward!" I moaned as my walls began to spasm.
"Bella!" He groaned as I dragged my fingers across his back.
Once again his lips found mine as he started to stiffen even more within me, holding onto my hips tightly and pushing deeper, hitting a spot that made my toes curl. His fingers dug into my skin a little too tight and I whimpered into his mouth both in pain and pleasure. The coil within me began to unravel and I released hard as Edward growled into my mouth spilling his cool liquid inside of me.
That's the last time I ever saw Edward Cullen. We laid there for a while in post coital bliss before he pulled away, the mask of indifference covering his perfect face again. When we arrived at my house he broke it off, telling me he couldn't give me what I wanted, that he couldn't watch me give up my life for him, leaving me only with one final sentence the one that haunted my every waking and sleeping moment. 'It will be as if I never existed', what a crock of shit!
The thunder rolls outside and the pain in my chest intensifies. I know its coming, soon I'll be crying unable to stop. Every time it rains I feel him, I taste him and damn it I just can't forget. It hurts so bad, like a sledgehammer to the heart. I smack my head against the glass causing that throb of pain that I've become so accustomed to. Honestly, I couldn't tell you why I do that, maybe it's because the pain of my aching scalp takes away the pain in my heart even if it's only the most minuscule amount better.
The first drops begin to hit my window and the tears start falling my vision turning into a blur as my shoulders tremble. My sobs become loud and uncontrollable while my tears soak my face and shirt because every damn time it rains, I get wet.
I know it's so damn depressing, but I write using what inspires me and turns out I was inspired to write this sad one shot today. If you have time leave a review, thanks.