A/N: Yep here is a new year and my mind is again working overtime. No need to worry my stories will all get continued. As for this one, blame it on my long sleep withdrawal because of a contest HP fic and my friend Tanin deciding to show my roommate a few episodes from this…sigh…sometimes I hate my brain…
Sigh…first attempt so sorry if I'm clumsy and yes my grammar is a nightmare in EVERY language beside that, writing in first person's POV is a pain…
Night has fallen again over Death City, the Sun replaced by the Moon which is now lighting the dark. I watch it's chuckling face with that oh so twisted smile and droll colored like fresh blood. The color of your hair, it is painful. Each little memory of you, each glimpse pushes me further in to my insanity. Many would say I don't even need a ground to be insane, but the truth is you could keep me at bay.
Well, not hat I had let you know that of course. Now where would have been the fun in that?
We become partners and studied together hard to reach our goal. I probably harder, because I wanted to know everything about you. A chuckle escapes my lips as I take out a cigar and light it in the chilly air. I was you could say a foolish child back then seeing that I wasn't careful enough with my actions. If I would have been then you would be still here. Though Fate is twisted and you had betrayed me because of that wrench. Was it truly what you wanted? Please, don't make me laugh you could never manage to settle down by only one woman. What did it bring you? Marriage and divorce? A daughter who most of the time despises you or feels ashamed because of your foolish antics?
Oh yes I have seen her face, see it in her eyes each time you try so hard to get her affection. You are foolish to try something which will fail though I'm happy when you try. Your pain and sadness delight me, smoothing the pain of betrayal and loneliness caused by you. Yes it is childish to hold on a grudge for so long, but well what can I say I'm a pretty possessive person.
Taking a last puff from the cigar I push my body away from the wall and make my way to the front door. The old clock is hitting ten, it is time again. I know it is pathetic from my side to feel this strange excitement, but I don't care. Each day I feel the cold claws of fear tearing on me, trying to drag me in to the darkness of insanity.
My mind is slowly slipping, deeper in to the void from where there is no return.
Slowly opening the door I see you standing there, fidgeting again with your fingers. Like always you couldn't decide if you should be really standing there. Though in the moment you spot me the hesitation disappears as if it was never there.
Aren't you already over this dilemma after so many times?
In a matter of seconds I can feel your body pressing against me, hands clinging at my coat desperately. So you got again turned down and come to me seeking solace. So ironic that it would be me you are fleeing to, to the man you fear, the one who you had betrayed and left alone. I don't complain, there is no ground for that, you are at least back.
Even, if only for the night.
Heated up bodies press together in a passionate dance of pleasure and pain. This fire is like molten lava goosing through the veins. I'm not gently with you, my nails on your back, teeth on your neck will surely leave marks, but neither of us minds. There is no love in this. Am I even still capable of such a thing? Who knows, you will be gone by sunrise anyway. Just like always. You gasp my name just when I hit your special spot and bite down on your neck before licking up the blood.
Pleasure and Pain, that is the only thing we have.
You don't love me, left me alone while ignoring the past. Pushed me in to despair, deeper to the darkness, which threatens to take my mind away. Yet you come to me, seeking solace in such an intimate way. I don't complain, feeling you so close to me, all around be keeps me at bay. Your pain is my pleasure and this no one can take away. Live is ironic and fate is twisted. Soon your scream breaks m flow of thoughts as you go limp in my arms and I'm following you. There are no words spoken as both of us struggle to calm our breathing, the beating of our hearts. After some minutes when the heat flees away from us you move away to gather the scattered clothes from all around the bedroom floor. I don't speak a word, you wouldn't stay even if I ask you so there is no need for that. Watching you walking up to the door returns the bitter memory of the day you had left me behind…
…for her…
Reaching the door you suddenly halt in your steps for the first time.
"Thank you Stein, thank you…" and then just like back on that dark day and now every night you walk out of my live before the day breaks, only to return when darkness falls.
Yes live it truly ironic, but I don't say a word only return to my work. The new day will pass and in the dark you will soon return…
…seeking after our bittersweet solace…
Owari