Warning: Um, strong language, I guess?

Disclaimer: Characters on this page may be dumber than they appear. Also they are not mine.

A/N: This has been sitting on my computer in almost exactly this state for many, many moons. I figure if I post it now, maybe it'll motivate me into working on the next few chapters. Haha...we'll see. Let me know what you think? Also yeeeees, Pedestrian chapter 16 is coming. The ending just keeps evolving and mutating in my brain. So it's had a very long hiatus. And I've had a very long hiatus. Sorry about that!

Demyx ran another hand exasperatedly through his hair, the hair gel in his hair rendered all but totally useless at this point. "Axel, I swear. This is the five hundred thousandth time you've gotten us lost."

"We're not lost," he said simply.

"Seriously how hard is it to—"

Axel laughed, defusing Demyx's frustration momentarily. He placed one of his hands on Demyx's shoulder, giving it a few placating pats. "It's just a detour. Come on, Dem, learn to love the little things in life. Like look at that view!" He reached a little further and tilted Demyx's chin towards the passenger window, waiting until he was out of Demyx's line of sight before returning to furiously squinting at the road with various looks of what the fuck, where are we, and where am I going to regain his bearings.

"Cows, Axel? We should not be seeing fucking cows outside. I swear you somehow drove us all the way to Texas. In an hour timespan! Seriously, your unrelenting power to teleport us into the middle of nowhere is astounding." Demyx's fingers had by now taken up permanent residence on his own temples. He sighs, looking back at Axel only to see him straighten up and reign in his crazed looks of confusion to resume the I totally know what I'm doing façade. "I guess I should call Marluxia and tell him we can't make it. Again."

"I don't know, maybe it's serendipity or some shit."

"And I'm gonna seren-stick my foot up your ass, Axel. I swear to god."

"No, seriously." Seeing how there weren't any cars around them for miles, Axel spared another sidelong glance at Demyx. He smirked and the twinkle of a newly formed tactic shown in his eyes. "I don't know, maybe you'll see some cowboy out there, wrangling up some cows in nothing but some skin tight jeans and a cowboy hat. He'll sweep you off your feet with his ridiculously toned arms and you guys'll screw until the cows come home. And who would you have to thank? Poor little old, verbally abused Axel, for his scenic detour that you are currently busting his balls over."

"Okay, fine. But If I'm still stuck here riding in this godforsaken car with you and not riding a cowboy in the next hour, I am seriously going to get out of this car and walk. Don't bother trying to stop me."

"Axel—"

"Don't say it."

"Okay, we have officially passed that same Wendy's three times. Three fucking times, Axel."

"Don't."

"But we're—"

"No."

"I swear I am not getting into a car with you again until you get a map or a GPS or something. Who the hell gets lost going to the flippin' grocery store?"

Axel rolled his eyes. Not him, that's for sure. He'd only passed the first three grocery stores because he'd liked the songs that were playing on the radio too much. Demyx didn't need to know that. And surely another store was bound to come up sometime.

"I just wanted to go to a grocery store with…organic produce. For your health, Dem. Your health." He gave Demyx a sober look, jutting out his lower lip and blinking with innocence.

"That'd be great if it weren't for the fact that your grocery list says 'Cocoa Puffs and spray cheese' and my stomach says Oreos."

Axel rolled his eyes, dismissing Demyx's protest and returning his attention to the span of roadway in front of him.

Axel's voice came several minutes later, unimaginably quiet and filled with defeat.

"Could you call Zex again?"

"Hm? I'm sorry, I couldn't quite hear you," Demyx volleyed back, voice rising with combative mock-innocence.

"I said—" he sighed, rubbing his own temple with a mixture of frustration and disbelief. "We're lost. Could you please call Zexion again?"

He'd gotten lost going to the grocery store. Demyx was right. Something was wrong with him. And something was terribly wrong with the world if Demyx was right.

"Pardon, one more time?

"Okay, okay. Fine. Fine! I'm pulling over. I'll call him and you take the wheel, you passive aggressive little princess."

He visibly brightened, unfazed by Axel's pouty face and grumpy tone. He, however, kept his own tone as nonchalant as possible. "Oh, alright. Anything for you, Axel."

"I'm still not letting you touch the radio."

"Look, I looked into it. And by that, I mean I had Zexion look into it."

Axel gave him a flat look.

"But they had great reviews! And they said they'd install it super cheap if you, er—I, agreed to let one of their interns do it. It's a win, win situation!"

"That doesn't change the fact that I gave you the keys because you said you needed to go put up 'lost cat' posters." A sober, more incredulous look took over his face. "Is Bailey even lost?"

"In retrospect, you really shouldn't have lent Demyx the keys at all. His license is still suspended."

"Shut up, Zexion," came the simultaneous reply.

He sighed, letting his blue hair fall back into his eyes, effectively obscuring him and removing him from the argument once again.

"Well—she was lost….until Zex called me and told me she'd just crawled underneath the porch again. And by then I was already in your car and the idea just dawned on me and—"

"So you had a GPS system installed in my car without permission."

"Essentially, yes."

"…yeah."

"You're unbelievable. Both of you are."

Demyx slowly lowered to the ground, placing Axel's keys on the driveway pavement. "So….I'm just gonna leave your keys here and—" He grabbed Zexion's hand, taking off into a sprint down the street.

"Real mature!" Axel called behind them. He sighed, scratching his head. Of all the crazy, stupid, impulsive shit Demyx had done to him—or at the expense of him— over the years, this had to take the cake. He strode up cautiously to his car, placing an open palm on her frame and consoling her gently. "I'm sorry he did this to you, Jenny" he whispered. "I'll never let Demyx drive you again. That bad, bad man can't hurt you anymore."

"Jenny? Who is Jenny? I'm Roxas."

That was when Axel damn near had a heart attack. And promptly fell on his ass. And landed right on his keys. He was going to fucking kill Demyx...right after he pulled the keys out that were currently shanking him in the ass.