Recurring Nightmares

He woke with a start, gasping and reaching out into the sheer darkness. A clue, a clue was what he wanted, and he voiced this aloud, or he tried until a smooth voice spoke first, sleep still thickly pervading the sultry sound.

"What's wrong Shika?"

He knew that voice, didn't he? It sounded so familiar, it tugged at the edges of his memory, begging for entrance into his awareness. Who was that? God, he had heard it so many times before, he could recall the memories but couldn't place a name or attach a face to it.

Shifting to his left, a swish of blankets, creaking of mattress springs.

"Shikamaru. I'm talking to you! Don't ignore me!"

Who was it? Damn damn damn, he couldn't remember, it was important, this person was important to him and his heart pounded at the sound of their voice, miles ahead of his brain.

"Shikamaru!"

His heart suddenly clenched as he reached out to touch them. He could feel nothing, but there had to be someone there, someone who he cared about, someone who made him happy. /Who was it?!/ Where were they? Why couldn't he feel them? They couldn't have left already, if only he could see. If he could see then he would know. He needed to know, something in his chest was hurting so terribly right now and he needed to find out why.

Lights flooded the room and he gasped at the burning in his eyes, throwing his arms over his face to protect them. He tried to kick off the blankets to get up from the bed and shut them back off, and suddenly he realized he was standing. Why was he standing, he had just been laying in bed, but there was nothing now. There was nothing at all, he was just in an empty room...

He lets his arms down slowly, adjusting to the brightness of the room as best he could. Still squinting, he made out the figure in front of him. A man, a georgeous man with a shiny chocolate waterfall of hair and beautiful exotic blue-grey pupiless eyes.

Neji!

That's who it was? Oh God it was wonderful sweet Neji, how could he ever forget him. He wanted to run forward and hold him, he wasn't sure why, he just wanted to go forward and grab onto him and never let go. But he couldn't move, he was rooted to the ground. He willed his body to move forward and greet his lover, but he couldn't respond. What's going on, why couldn't he control his body?

"You're back." He heard his own voice say. Why did he say that? Neji hadn't gone anywhere, he was turning on the lights. He had woken from a nightmare and Neji was concerned, it happened all the time since... since...

Neji smiled, but it was not a Neji smile. I was a cruel smile, a twisted sadistic smile that Shikamaru knew somehow in his gut was a forewarning for pain and suffering, and since when did his lover have fangs?

"Since what, my love?"

He can hear my thoughts. "Who are you?" His own voice asked again. Neji doesn't call me by pet names. Nothing but Shikamaru and Shika.

"Don't be mean to me Shikamaru. I came back to you, be happy." A false pout, and back to that smile.

YOU NEVER LEFT! Why do you keep saying that? Why do I keep saying that? "You are not Neji Hyuga." WHAT'S GOING ON!?

The smile lessened, into a grin, an amused grin. He knew that smile, no one could smile like that except... except who? He couldn't remember? He knew it it was on the tip of his tounge. Someone else important, or at least someone who had a big impact on him. Someone who had forced themselves into his memory, the memory that was failing him. Dammit why couldn't he remember?

"Do you still love me?" The not-Neji suddenly asked.

Why would he ask that, of course he still loved Neji, why would he stop? He tried to say something, to ask what he meant, but he couldn't. He wasn't saying anything like before, there was just quiet, and something wet on his face. He brought up a hand to touch his cheek, and the body actually listened, it came away wet. Was he crying? He didn't feel like he was crying... He was not sad, he was just confused. Where did Neji go? Who was this impersonator? What was going on here?

"Why did you leave?" His own voice asked, still looking at the wet mark on his finger, squinting through suddenly cloudy eyes. Why was he crying? He was happy, he was so happy to see Neji... Why was he so happy to see him?

Neji did not leave. This is not Neji. He corrected himself, but his voice would not acknowledge him.

"I fixed everything! Why did you leave me?" His voice said again, cracking from the emotion he still did not know why he was exerting.

The not-Neji smiled that dark smile again. "You cannot escape Jashin's will... it shall be done."

What?

"That's right fucker. I'm not through with you yet, I'll get you and your little bitch too."

Neji hair suddenly started falling out, strand by strand at first and then in clumps and then in waves. He stepped forward, laughing, as his body swelled taller and thicker and leaner. He closes his eyes and he's only inches away, and when he opens them it's not Neji at all.

Shikamaru tries to take a step back, This is not Neji. He knew that before but now even the voice and body with minds of their own seemed to believe it now. But he could not move, his body would not let him.

It's Hidan. It's that psycho that lived next door, and he's grinning that stupid grin and Shikamaru watches as his own arms stretch out to push him away. But they just go through him, like a ghost. And all at once Shikamaru screams and for once his voice does the same. Everything comes flooding back to him so fast that all he can do is scream. Everything that happened those few years ago, and everything that's happened since then. He knows where he is, he knows what he's doing, and he knows what's going on.

It's a nightmare, another stupid fucking nightmare and whether he gets himself to wake up or stays here he's going to be miserable. Because Neji is gone. He remembers now, he will just wake up alone in his stupid crappy apartment miles away from anyone or anything he knows or cares about.

Think happy thoughts. Funny thoughts. Change the dream yourself. He says, knowing neither his body or his voice will help now.

"Won't work pineapple head. You're mine now."

Puppies wearing sunglasses. Dancing flowers. Clowns throwing pies!

"That shitty generic stuff won't fucking help. You're fucked, just give in and experience the glory of Jashin." Hidan raises his hands above his head and that terrible triple-bladed scythe vapors into existance.

Somehing funny! Break it, break it now or you'll wake up! He doesn't want to wake up, not now that he knows what's going on. He doesn't want to lose control, he has control of his dreams, he just has to seize it.

Hidan made a face, hesitating, and he had the sense that he was going to win this. He'd beaten the Jashinist once and he could do it again. He just needed to change the setting, he needed to will the image of Hidan away and bring up something happy, something funny. Something that will make him laugh.

"Cowboy Neji." His voice said aloud. And he went with it, Neji in boots. Neji in a ten-gallon hat. Neji on a horse even though he hates them. Neji with a peice of straw sticking out. Neji in plaid. "Howdy Shikamaru."

Hidan laughed outright and grinned at him. That stupid amused grin that he'd told himself he would never see again. Why was he seeing it, it was so clear, Hidan was right there, he could reach out and touch him. Only he couldn't, because he'd tried that.

"Good one. But I'm still coming, so wake the fuck up."

Hidan was dead, he was tucked away safely in a tomb under the ground, there's no way anyone would go to all the trouble of getting him out. He wasn't real, he couldn't inflict pain, he had no control. This was shikamaru's dream, he could control it, he had to control it.

But the scythe came down nonetheless.

-o-

Nightmares. Every night, every damn time he closed his eyes.

He didn't even know why. He had been fine for those first 10 months after they'd moved across the country away from that stupid little town and the Akatsuki and that stupid fucking psycho next door.

He all but blocked it from his mind. He went on living contently, working at the new firm, surrounded by new people and new experiences. It was exciting, if anything. Neji had seemed to embrace it too, though Shikamaru had to admit, he never really was the same. Not that he blamed him at all, oh no, he did what he could to support him in everything he chose to do, he gave him space when he requested it, and smothered him when he would accept it.

If anything Shikamaru had been paying closer attention to the brunette more than ever before, and he was damn sure trying as hard as he could. What he was trying for, he had no idea. To make Neji better? To rekindle the relationship? To gain forgiveness for his terrible past blunders?

He didn't know for sure but he knew he would continue putting everything he had into it. Things weren't right and he had to make them right. He had to fix it.

It didn't make a difference in the end though... maybe aside from prolonging the inevitable. He could admit that somewhere in the very, very back, deep dark recesses of his mind, he knew it would happen. But it didn't stop it from killing him.

He left. He left without saying anything. He wrote Shikamaru a note and left it on the fridge, a fucking NOTE! No goodbye, no warning, he was just gone. Every single one of his possesions gone, like he'd never been there in the first place.

And Shikamaru had broken, snapped like a twig in the wind. Not violently, He did not lose his mind, he didn't go on a rampage. He didn't go after him, or cry, or scream. In fact for the first few days he just went to the bedroom and slept. He did nothing but sleep, except for the occasional bathroom break.

I'm so sorry Shikamaru, the note read. I really don't know what to tell you, I know you're going to hate me. But I can't take it anymore. Something died in me that day, I don't feel like myself anymore, and when I'm around you all I can do is remember how I felt about you when... when I thought I was going to die. I tried so hard Shika, to go back to normal. But I can't. When I see you... I see him. I can't change it, and I can't take it.

Shikamaru had all but completley shut down at this point. The letter went on to justify his leaving without saying goodbye as 'Not wanting you to trick me into staying. Because this was something that had to be done.' There was no mention of where he was going, no mention of how he was funding this, which only lead Shikamaru to assume he'd been saving up secretly, just waiting until he had enough money... And that just tore a another hole in his heart.

Neji had been lying and pretending this whole time. And what hurt him even more than that was the fact that it was all because he had to look at Shikamaru every day. That the person he loved most in the world could not bear to look at him, be touched by him, be around him, without unwilling having those terrible memories forced back into his mind.

He wasn't even mad. He couldn't be mad at Neji, no matter how he tried. It wasn't Neji's fault, really. Out of that whole situation, Neji was the only one who'd been hurt. Neji was the only one who'd received the trauma. Shikamaru had caused it all, he had fixed it yes, but he had still caused it. Neji's trust was broken that day, and it was a permanent break. No matter how normal they tried to make their lives, the reminder was always right there in front of him...

No, he couldn't be mad. He couldn't hate Neji.

But the nightmares, those were becoming troublesome. He could accept reality.. when he was awake. He could fiht off his depression when he knew what was going on. He could accept the repercussions of what had happened. But when he slept he should at least have that small comfort of not being miserable. He couldn't even have that much anymore with these things going on. And they didn't even make sense, or maybe they did in some really difficult to see way. If he turned his head and squinted maybe he could sort of see a message, but that was the best it was, possibleys and maybes.

Hidans recent apparence had him absolutly baffled, however. That man hadn't crossed his mind for almost a year and a half, and now all the sudden he was having vivid dreams about him. Shikamaru wasn't stupid enough to think it didn't mean something, but he just didn't care enough to... well, to care.

He didn't know how he felt anymore, he was just numb, in a way. Sometimes it was a peaceful kind of numbness, other times it was a suffocating kind of numb that made him want to tear his hair out just to feel something.

Losing it? No, Shikamaru Nara was still very in control of himself. He was fully aware of what was happening around him, he could function just like any average person, and no one seemed to suspect at all that he was just a shell of a person.

It didn't matter though, he knew that after enough time had passed, it would get easier. He also knew that keeping himself cooped up inside all day while he wasn't at work wasn't helping him move on in the least. But damn, he just couldn't get himself to want to do anything. He supposed it was a blessing that he hadn't inadvertedly become an alchoholic, or addicted to drugs. And how the hell he hadn't jumped back on the Mary Jay bandwagon was far beyond his comprehension.

He quite literally felt like doing Nothing. Absolutley nothing.

Unfortunatly for him... he was down to his last cigarette. That meant that at the very least he needed to make a trip to the convenience store.

Sitting in his easy chair as he so often did, the spikey-haired man sighed. It wasn't a hassle, really. He was actually just really tired, these damn night terrors along with massive amount of easy but annoying cases that keep flooding his desk have done a number on him. But.. that's what happens in the city. Of course he'd moved to the city, though in retrospect it didn't seem to make any sense. Why subject himself to even worse things happening on a daily basis? But It was very clear at the time, he didn't want to be reminded.

He rolled his head against the back of the recliner to look at the kitchenette. It would probably be a good idea to pick up some food too.

Ugh... food. It had lost it's luster long ago, Neji seemed to take that with him too, though not intentionally. Or maybe he did, it was anyone's call. But Shikamaru's sorry excuses for meals had all but ruined his appetite. He pretty well survived on microwavable meals now.

Damn... he was a hot mess.

Taking a deep breath, he hauled himself from the chair, stretching until he felt his spine pop. "Adventure awaits..." he muttered, making sure his wallet was jn his pocket. "No reason to sit here and sulk anyway..."

The convenience store wasn't too far away. There was never a convenience store too far away. He didn't know if it was with this city in particular or if they were all like that but there was a place to buy booze, cigarettes, drugs, anything you wanted, all within walking distance. They weren't all techinically 'Convenience stores', but he referred to them as that regardless.

Besides, he could go for a soda anyway. A little caffeine wouldn't hurt. It gave him some pep, and he could always use pep.

-o-

"Two boxes of Marlboro reds. 100's."

"Is that it for ya?" The woman croaked from behind the register as she tossed the packs onto the counter.

"Yes, thanks."

The woman grunted in reply, manners were hard to come by here. Everyone was in their own little world. She clicked a few buttons on the register much slower than Shikamaru liked, and told him his total. After handing over the money he stuffed the two small boxes in his pockets, grabbed his soda and left, surprisingly in no hurry at all.

Being an easy-going guy in a big places like this, well, it's not a good combination. But Shikamaru could fend for himself. He'd been working on his Jutsu and improving himself ever since moving here. The one thing he had not purposely blocked from his thoughts was the utterly helpless feeling he had while watching Itachi, Sasuke, and Hidan fight. He couldn't help but think that his victory against Deidara had been intended. Either that or the guy was a super-noob among the gang. Maybe they'd been testing him too...

He shook his head and took a sip of the cold beverage, swishing it around in his mouth briefly before swallowing. Why was he thinking about this now? He had so much else to occupy his mind, so many more interesting things.

Like... Like his job.. Well not really. He pretty much plowed right through any case that landed on his desk. Anyone who couldn't figure it out was brain-dead, in his opinion.

But he still had.. What? Fuck, he had nothing. He had his apartment, which in reality wasn't bad at all, but compared to the house he and Neji had bought together.. Well, there was no comparison. It sucked. It was tiny and cramped and had only the bare necessities. It was all he needed, but still...

He had nothing else. Literally. He had no hobbies, he had no friends. He honestly didn't even know anyone from work, he couldn't even tell someone his boss's name should they ever ask. He just didn't care enough to have any of those things.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe he'd let his depression get out of hand, just a bit. But on the other hand, it was a pretty big transition. In small towns, it's easy to remember everyone's face, it's easy to place a name, there's only so many people there after all. But here, no one gave a damn who you were, no one said hello. Hell, people didn't even look up from their phones when you passed by.

"Son of a bitch." He sighed upon seeing his car. His front passenger tire was gone, again. Apparently there was some OCD tire theif that lived within the neighborhood. That was something to think about.

Well... not really.

But it was rediculous that this person could afford to buy their own tires, yet they could still keep buying cinderblocks to oh-so-politely rest the car on after they stole yours. And whoever it was must be buff as fuck to carry around a cinderblock, a tire iron, and a car jack.

Shikamaru stared at it boredly, sipping on his beverage. Getting angry about such things didn't do anything but waste energy. He made a mental note to set up some kind of booby-trap. This was the fourth time this has happened within three months. His insurance wasn't going to keep paying for stolen front passenger-side tires.

"Awe man, is that your car? That sucks man."

Shikamaru turned to the new voice. A filthy looking man with a beard down to his belly-button was standing beside him. How had he snuck up on him like that? Shika didn't reply, he just continued sipping his drink, staring at the stranger.

"Yeah man, I seen that guy snaking your tire, but I wasn't sure if it was real or if Uncle Cracker was kicking in. Know what I'm sayin'?" The man laughed and nudged Shikamaru with his elbow. Great, a crack addicted hobo saw who stole his tire, he'd be a wonderful witness for the insurance forms.

"You saw him?" Shikamaru asked slowly, just to clarify. Hey, it was a lead. Don't judge.

"Oh yeah man! I mean this guy was just straight-up crazy looking! He had a.. like a big trenchcoat or something on, ya know? But he wasn't wearing a shirt underneath, and he was fucking ripped man! Like, there was no way some little peabody like me is gonna try to stop him, ya know?"

"Yeah." Shikamaru said blandly. "I totally know. What else did you see?"

"Oh I dunno. I pretty much stopped paying attention after that man. I mean, I turned and walked away before we met eyes and the crazy fucker attacked me. He was swearing like a motherfucker though, ya know? Like shit, I almost wanted to ask him what he was on."

"Mm-hmm." Well, this conversation was useless now. But at least he knew he was looking for a crazy swearing buff guy wearing a trenchcoat with no shirt.

His eyes narrowed. No, no. There was no possible way. He pushed the thought from his mind, it wasn't possible. It simply wasn't possible. But still...

"Did he have silver hair by any chance?"

"Uhh.. I don't remember man. I think he was wearing a bandenna or something. I dunno."

"Ah, well, you are aware that I'm a cop, right?"

The man looked at him with such unrestrained horrer that Shikamaru couldn't help but laugh. He reached out and patted the most-likely-homeless man on the shoulder. "Just fucking with you. Have a nice night."

"Awe shit man. Shit, you really got me there for a minute!" The man called after him. "Hey man you're cool. We're cool. I like you. Hey is this where you live?"

Shikamaru shut the door of the apartment complex on him. He may be 'cool', and he maight possibley need to make friends. But that man was not going to be one of them. If the Nara had any luck at all he'd wander off to some other part of town. He didn't like being mean to helpless people, but you had to when you lived in a place like this.

-o-

A/N- Merr. Wasn't really sure where a good stopping place was. So that'll do.

OHAIGUYS! Yep, I'm back. And guess what? i brought sequel-ey goodness with me. And guess what else? It's gonna be another multi-chapter!?

Why? Because I'm fucking insane! :D

Yeah, but seriously, I have like no time to sit down and write anymore. Luckily for my I got this coolio app on my phone. So I can write on the go! But anyway, I originally meant to go back through Bad Neighbors and fix all the mistakes and all that crap I promised I was going to do, but I ended up just re-reading it. I'm actually plesantly surprised at how it turned out. I was so unsure while writing it but.. I dunno. So, I was inspired to continue it. Hopefully this is a good thing right?

Kay, so, obviously, if you've read this far you've probably realized that this is a sequel. You really should have realized that when it said on the summary, but hey, I don't judge. I'm not going to summarize everything that happened in the prequel, because I'm lazy. If you haven't read it, go read it. Or you will probably be pretty confused.

But, aside from that, this one is going to be pretty different, if you haven't noticed. Being the person I am there's probably still going to be humor in there, but I'm not going to go out of my way to force it in there. It's probably going to be a lot more dark just for the face that the main character has gone through some pretty emotional shit. He's just not the same person. He is, but he's not.

Uhm.. Well this Author's note is super long so I'm gonna stop here.

REVIEW MY LOVLIES! I want to hear what you have to say.