I lay there, almost as if paralyzed, facing the sky, with my raven hair strewn throughout the grass. I stared at the clouds painted in magentas, yellows, and purples. Radiance. They reminded me of all I held dear, all the colours I missed. The giant willow tree shading me cast its many leaves upon the wind, the breeze gently caressed my cheeks, the leaves whispering gentle promises soon to be broken. I longed for something tender from another being. But I could not give in. I separated myself as much as possible from others because of my shame. And I liked being a loner for the most part. It gave me time to think. Time for sleepless nights and restless days.
Ever since my seventeenth birthday, almost a year ago, nothing satisfied me or has come close to doing so. I remembered the night very clearly, a little too clearly for my liking. I went down the great white marble steps of the palace, which led down to the banquet hall, in a gown of crimson, expecting to see my happy family greeting me, with wishes of well being and praise. What I got was very far from that. I was told that since I was seventeen I was old enough to know. These things that I needed to know I did not want to know. Two nations brought together by the heavenly bodies of the Moon, my mother, and the Sun, Oberon, were always conflicting. Day was taken over by the sun and night by the moon. Although there was a treaty, things were still unsettled because of fine print. When the words 'You are to marry Léto, Oberon's son, in order to create peace between our people...' came out of my mother's mouth, I went numb. I went beyond numb. I was bursting with too much emotion, hyperactive. It wouldn't be long till I went up in flames from some sort of a combustion.
I felt ashamed, infuriated, and overwhelmed with nostalgia. How could they use me as a pawn? How could they even think of marrying me to that beast? How could they take away my last year of childhood so brutally? Why? For the greater good of course. Something greater than us that we're supposed to struggle for and sacrifice for and bleed and cry and sweat over. What names the greater good that everyone seems to be fighting for? How could the rest of my life be given away to something unknown? All I wanted to do was just escape this. But how?
'You'll get over it in time.' they all said. 'You may even grow to love him in time.' Their eyes sent me this secret message that I absolutely refused to acknowledge. Time. I had an eternity of it before me. An eternity with the last person on my mind. Time is a continuum, without a start and endless. Only the collapse of the universe would cause it to cease. What is going to happen to joy and roses, rainbows, and everything lovely in the world? What will become of me? I felt my stomach tightening, a white hot iron started to sear my chest. I panted, gasping for breath. Thinking was not good. Too much pain was evoked with thinking. I hugged myself, wishing the pain away.
A dragonfly landed on my nose, breaking me out of my mental tantrum. I gazed at it, a bit dazed. The sun glinted off of its wings, casting it into a little jewelled creature. Completely insignificant despite its beauty. I rolled over and stared at myself in the pond, still clutching my stomach with one arm. My long black mane of hair was wild, with grass and dandelions caught in it. It framed my oval shaped face, and my big gray eyes were surprisingly readable. Maybe it was the scowl that seemed to make its home on my brows, maybe it was my eyes.
A long howling sound willed me to grudgingly lift my head. I stared in the direction of the palace, a giant turreted structure peaking out from between lush vegetation, overlooking everything at the top of the hill. What a tickle of joy. Why would the royal horn be sounded?