I didn't read the books so this story is based on the personalities from the tv show. For the purposes of this story Matt and Caroline are already in a relationship.
I do not own the Vampire Diaries
My relationship with Matt has been going well. He is really sweet, kind, adorable. He is everything Damon is not. While Damon has dark hair and dark eyes, Matt has a dirty blonde hair with blue eyes. He treats me with a respect Damon never has and I truly think he cares about me. I care about him too, but I'm afraid that it won't last. What if he wakes up one morning and sees how worthless I really am?
I have stopped taking my medication, but I don't tell anyone. My dad is across the country with his boyfriend, my mom is never home and even when she is I can't stand her. I can't talk to Elena or Bonnie because neither of them know about it and I especially can't talk to my doctor because she would tell me I need to go back on them. I know that me being off my medication will have short and long term effects, but it's a risk I am willing to take. I hate taking my pills, I hate having my feelings controlled for me.
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It's been a week since I've been off my medication and everything seems normal. I am neither depressed nor excited. It's funny how being too excited can be a problem. I know it's only been a week but I'm pretty sure that if nothing changes in the first few weeks then nothing will ever change. Maybe I don't need to be on medication any longer. Maybe the doctors had it all wrong.
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It's been another two weeks and I feel okay. I have been better, but I have been worse. I feel a little confused and lost. I'm not sure what I want and I find myself distracted in school more often. I'm not scared of this, I am not depressed. Everyone is entitled to an off week and this is mine.
Elena and Bonnie say that I seem more distant, but I tell them not to worry about. They are both too occupied with their own problems to continue asking me questions, that I am thankful for.
Matt also says that I'm not as cheery like I normally am. I get annoyed at this because he never really knew me before so how would he know what I normally act like. We may have run in the same social circle and spoke because of Elena, but he didn't get to really know me until after my party that night. Just because I am always cheery in school doesn't mean that's the only feeling I have. I must have been bitchier then I planned because he leaves the table right after. I didn't mean to upset him and I plan to apologize later on today.
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I should have known there, while I was writing those entries I should have seen that it really wasn't okay. I don't know if things will ever go back to normal, but I am close to getting there. I think I now understand what it really means to be bipolar. I guess before the medication prevented me from seeing the reality of my situation, but I am now aware and not planning on going back.
Authors Note: So this is just the prologue and will be the only chapter that is written in Caroline's point of view. Everything else will probably be in 3rd person. The story will focus on Caroline and her relationships with Matt, Elena, Bonnie and Damon. I also love Jeremy so I'm definitely going to incorporate him into the story, maybe even get him and Caroline together? Please review and if you want Caroline with a specific person please tell me. Thanks!