AN: I want a piggy! We rented a Zim DVD from Blockbuster and watched it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, so I came up with this idea for a fanfic. Cool huh? Let me know anyway.
After Zim had been waiting five years for the Irkan Armada to arrive, Dib accidentally picked up on a message from the Almighty Tallest and found out that they gasp! never intended on coming in the first place! He informed Zim of this, and, after about a week of denial, Zim decided to find out for himself if this was true. He never came back…
And ten years after that…
Dib sighed. "Great." He threw the invitation down on the kitchen counter and pressed play on his answering machine. His sister's deep voice came on.
"Dib, if you ever do anything like that to any of my acquaintances ever again, I will do more than destroy you. I will stuff your limbs in blenders and—"
Dib immediately pressed delete. The next voice was that of his secretary.
"Hi, Dib. This is Lev. I know you're probably not home yet, but I want you to know that you got a message on your alien recorder thingy again. Let me know if you want to listen to it before I go home. It's… interesting."
Dib groaned. The answering machine beeped that there were no more messages. He turned on his tape recorder journal.
"18 May 2013. Absolutely nothing happened today… I got an invitation to a fifteen-year grammar school reunion, but I'm not sure if I'll go. I don't really want to know if Ms. Bitters is still alive… probably not. I had no friends at that school anyway. End."
But Dib did go, and he had a strange essence of déjà vu as everyone in the room avoided him. He didn't see Ms. Bitters, so, because of a lack of anything else to do, he went off to check in her classroom, with little hope.
He opened the door and—
There was a short scream from inside the classroom and a small paperback flew past Dib's head. Confused, Dib squinted into the dark room at the desk. A candle was glowing and the light seemed to reflect off of two oval glass objects.
"Um…" came an embarrassed voice from the desk.
Dib turned on the lights, which revealed a young teacher, her long brown hair hanging in her face and glasses askew on her nose.
"Uh-heh-heh…" She took her glasses off and pulled her hair back into a loose bun. "Sorry," she said. "Sci-Fi novel… scary Sci-Fi novel."
"Huh, right," replied Dib, picking up the book. "By candle-light?"
"Um, ya!" She grinned
"Well, sorry to disturb you. I was just looking for an old teacher of mine, but I must have been right. She must be—"
"Dead?" came a raspy voice from behind him.
Dib screamed and threw the book in the air.
Ms. Bitters caught it and glared at him.
"Oh, why Ms. Bitters, you look… exactly the same," said Dib.
"I know."
"Why aren't you in this classroom anymore?"
"Those of us who had been here more than ten years got brand new classrooms."
"You love to rub it in, don't you?" said the young teacher.
"Miss Lanhu, is this yours?" She held out the book.
"Uh, ya. Thanks, Glenda."
"Glenda? Is that your name?" said Dib.
"Tell anyone and you will no longer see the light of day." And Ms. Bitters disappeared down the hall.
"You're here for that reunion thing, right?" asked Miss Lanhu.
"Uh, ya. So you're a teacher here?"
"Yep. I teach fourth grade."
Dib looked around the room. It was filled with paper things hanging from the walls and ceiling. All of it was obviously made by the students, but… there was no end. It must have been collected there from the beginning of the school year. The room was so… crowded. What was it like with students in it?
"So what do you do now, Dib?"
"Huh? What—how do you know my name?"
The girl looked at him and sighed. "I was in Gaz's class. I even became her best friend in high school, but you were too busy chasing aliens, ghosts, and Big Foot that you never noticed."
"Oh."
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
"What do you do?"
"Oh, I'm a paranormal investigator."
"Thought so. Your sis' never talks about you, so I wasn't sure."
Silence.
"Anyway, I better be going," said Dib. "Lots of paranormal… stuff—I have to get done."
"Okay, bye."
"Uh, do you want the lights off again?"
"Mmm, no. No that's okay."
The next day, Dib showed up in his office and Lev reminded him about the message on his alien message interrupter and recorder.
"Is that all that's happened so far today?"
"Actually, sir, that happened yesterday." Dib looked at her. "Well, yes."
"It's probably just a prank or another satellite sound."
"Uh, I don't think so."
"Well, whatever it is, I'll listen to it later. I'm taking the day off. If anyone calls, just take a message."
"Well, okay, Mr. Membrane."
Dib went home and watched TV all day. He was having a rough week, and he didn't like how the reunion had turned out last night. He fell asleep at about four in the afternoon and didn't wake up until around midnight. He couldn't fall asleep again, so after eating a snack of leftover cheesy pizza, he went to his office to check on any messages Lev might have left him.
The only one was another reminder to listen to the message received on the alien transmitter. Dib sighed. He might as well.
He pushed play on the latest message.
"Hello Dib. I know it's you. This is Zim…"
"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzz! Open the door!" Dib pounded at his sister's apartment door for a while, then gave up and just used his automatic picklock. "Gaz! Zim is—huh?"
Something on the couch moved and groaned. He glanced over and saw… his eyes grew wide and then he looked away quickly.
"Uh…"
The girl on the couch opened her eyes and squinted at Dib. Then she noticed her shirt had escaped her somehow and pulled the covers up over her bra.
"Holy crap, Dib, what are you doing here?"
He recognized the voice. "What am I doing here? What are you doing here… Miss… Miss… uh…"
"Raz. Kinda like your sister's name but with an R instead of a G. You know. I got evicted, so Gaz said I could stay here for a while."
"Right. I remember you now. You're the one who mixed every form of sweet thing in our house and ate it wrapped in a tortilla."
Raz smiled. "Yep, that's me."
"Where's Gaz? I need to tell her something really important."
"I think she's still asleep."
"Gaz!" Dib ran down the hall.
Raz took this opportunity to search for and reapply her shirt, while picking up any other embarrassing object lying around. About a minute later, Gaz and Dib came out of her room.
"Dib, I can't believe you'd even dare to come here at 12:42 in the morning and tell me the aliens are back to invade the earth."
"It was Zim! I heard him! He contacted me! I even heard his little robot in the background."
"You mean that green kid in your class?"
"I thought he moved back to Kansas City," said Raz.
"Ya, Dib, he did. And if you don't get out of my apartment within five seconds…"
"But they're coming!"
Gaz and Raz looked at Dib.
"Out!" screamed Gaz.
"This is it, Gir. After we gather some videotape and other such specimens from earth to show the Almighty Tallest, we can convince them to send the Armada to finally invade earth. Then we will finally show that stupid Dib that I am the greatest invader—in the universe!" Zim glanced over at his idiot robot.
"I wonder if they still have the scary monkey show," said Gir, sighing.
"Mm hmm, ya maybe. Listen Gir, this is the most important thing ever. It's even more important than when we tried to invade earth last time."
"Why's that?" asked Gir.
"Because this time, if I don't come back without good reason to invade earth, we will be banished there… forever!"
"No!" screamed Gir.
"Yes, Gir! Forever! They will take away our communication devices and all of the Irkan technology we take with us this time, and that blasted Dib will pester me about it for all time." Zim's fist curled and his eye twitched.
There was a pause. Then, a picture flashed on the screen and a voice said, "Now passing Jupiter."
"Good," said Zim. "We're almost there."
"Home at last!" said Gir.
"No, Gir. Not home."
"But…"
"No."
"Aw…"
"I must prepare!" said Dib. "Earth technology has advanced far beyond what it was ten—fifteen—years ago. I will beat you this time Zim, I will!"