I sat, staring mindlessly out the window. I could hear their voices--and even more agrivating, their heart beats. I closed my eyes but the sound didn't dull in the black, it only heightened. How silly was I to think that this was what I wanted? Had I really thought that the pain would be the worst part?

No. I had always known that those painful three days--I let my body shiver even now at the thought--were not the worst. I had known that it was the dreaded aftermath that was the killer. Saying something was easier than doing it. Becoming a vampire didn't compare to living as one. The thirst was unbearable! I could laugh if I wanted to, but then I might be forced into tears. Not that I would ever cry, I was too strong for that. I wasn't burdened with human weakness--or at least, I liked to think so.

Unfortuneatly, the baggage at the door had decided to follow me into my next existance. The same problems that I left behind were following me. I had to avoid Charlie and Renee. That was hard, not to mention that Angela hoped to see me soon. I wanted to say "yeah, me too," but I couldn't. It was more of a "Yeah, me too, except I can't. I'm a vampire now and would probably sooner kill you than speak with you." It wasn't pleasant conversation, so I had nodded, grinned, and said that I had to go and Edward was calling me. (I had then hurried off to save Jacob's life, but that's another story.)

The biggest problem besides the thirst and the human-people, I had to deal with my strange powers. I didn't understand half of them. I hadn't had them when I was human, so why now? Why show up just to trouble me? It wasn't fair. I was sure I had enough to deal with. My power to block all mental powers--example, Edward's mind-reading--had spread to all physical powers now as well. Jasper had tried to keep me calm, but that hadn't worked. Even when I was changing, he noticed that his effect on me gradually decreased. Alice's power of seeing the future was the only one that still worked on me. I preferred the days when I was forced into being calm. I worried less then. My other powers were even more puzzling. The only thing I could be greatful for was that I didn't have some power to levitate things or something. That would be too much to handle.

But, on the plus side, I was with Edward forever, and I wasn't a klutz anymore--well, mostly. One moment I would be almost as fliud and quick as Alice, and then, after seeing a few humans pass by--smelling the scent of fresh blood--I was completely hung over. The scent of blood was to me like alcohol was to a human. I didn't go out of my way to find it, but when it found me, I crashed hard. I was becoming a bloodoholic, which, I was sure, was the very definition of a vampire.

Jasper would try not to laugh--usually unsuccessfully--whenever I lunged at a person, frightening half to death. I would fake that I was picking something up from the sidewalk--not trying to bite the person--and then I'd say "Oh, look, I dropped my penny," and then carry on my way. It was a bad cover up, but I was much better at lieing than before. My voice was easier to control, so the innocent human didn't suspect a thing. Jasper did, however, and he was quite pleased to not be the only one with troubles keeping their blood-addiction on a low key. I had an excuse though, I was new. I made sure to rub that in once, and that shut him up.

I was becoming more and more aggrivated. Edward took me outside, breath in the air, and tehn going hunting. He showed me his mountain lion hunting skills--which, even as a vampire, still amzed me. I was a little stunned, watching him, but very impressed. He said that he was glad to fullfill that one last human wish. I had rolled my eyes and dropped the subject. The human topic was more and more sensative as the days passed. I didn't like to think about it. Rosalie was still mad at me. She didn't want me to become a vampire, and now I could see why. I wasn't going back--and I wouldn't, even if I had the choice--so there was no use dwelling on it. I tried to make peace with Rosalie, but it was hard when I felt like ripping a few throats out. The temptation of human blood, and the strain of resisting it, was what was aggrivating me.

Animal blood was alright, but it didn't hold the promise that a human's scent's did. I tried bear, on Emmett's suggestion, and found that an irritated grizzly bear was not so bad. Mountain lion was fine, but it didn't suit me either. I tried Jasper's preference, Alice's, Esme's and Carlisle's, but still, nothing. Rosalie wouldn't tell me her secret dish, and she wouldn't let anyone tell me. Edward decided not to rat on her because--his words, not mine--keeping some temorary privacy between Rosalie and me would allow some time for us to get aquainted better, get past the disagreement. I agreed with Edward. How could I not? His effect on me hadn't changed at all.

The thing that had caused me the most turmoil turned out to be the least of my problems. I loved Edward just the same as I always did, maybe more. It was funny--not funny ha-ha, but funny odd--being stronger than him. I didn't have to worry too much about crushing him though, he wasn't weak. I didn't realize how much he had to hold back until I was the one in his shoes. I could hold him, tightly, and actually feel the force of my own hold. I could feel hi struggle against me, to keep my close on his terms. I had never known a kiss, until just yesterday, when my lips touched his.

We had given ourselves completely, not holding back. I was breathless halfway through--and so was he--but we didn't stop, we didn't need air. We only needed each other, and we had that. I had thought that after marriage and marriage aftermath...that I couldn't be closer to Edward, it was impossible, he was already inside me, part of me. I was wrong. After yesterday, I had been so close to Edward, kissing him sweetly and fully, that I thought I was going to cry. It was silly, but my longing for Edward lingered, intensified, from my human life into my vampire life.

I felt so free. I could be with him, and no one could tell us that we were wrong. We were perfectly right. I was happy, and I knew I could resolve all the other new-vampire-life issues with him by my side, just as long as he kept kissing me like that.

The other problems drifted in my mind, focussing and dulling at different times. The most stressful was when I was thirsty. I was anxious to leave Forks, so if I did slip up...No, I couldn't think that way. I wanted to go to Alaska to eat up penguins and polar bears, not the people. Edward would be there to help me. I wouldn't hurt a fly...Maybe a musquito, carrying some small fraction of deliscious flavouring, but that was it. I had one week to go, and then I could say "Alaska, here I come!"

Okay, so Denali. Or anywhere would do. Just not Forks. I had taken a lot from Forks--most of it good--but it was time for a change. I needed to get away from the blood-filled loved ones and friends. It was for the best.

"Bella?"

I had forgotten how long I had been at the window, chin resting on the window sill, croached on the floor. It was twilight now, and I could see clearly into the night as if it were daylight! I could compare my vision only on level to my human knowledge. Seeing at night as a vampire was like seeing in daylight as a human. Seeing in daylight as a human is staring through a black glass jar and trying to see through the other side in comparison to the frequently cleaned clear glass of a vampire's eyesight.

"Hello, Alice," I grinned. "Where have you been all day?"

"Oh, I went to Las Vegas with Jasper," she told me casually.

"Again?" I pouted. "Without me?"

"Bella," she scolded. "You know that would be a very bad idea!"

"I know," I scowled. "But I've never been, and I think it would be neat to go."

Alice seemed to consider my proposal for a second, but then changed her mind. "You can go in a year or so."

"Long wait," I groaned, slinking away from the window and heading for the living room.

"It's worth it," she assured me, his tone ecstatic. "The funniest thing happened! You wouldn't believe what the bus driver did! We decided to take the tour bus, Jasper and I, and this bus driver--Patrick, I think his name was--he was talking about..." She prattled on for an hour about her trip, and I pretended ti listen intently, nodding in all the right places.

It wasn't like I wasn't interested, but I just had other things on my mind. I could hear blood pounding not too far away...at least, not too far vampire running distance. I could walk if I wanted to, it wasn't far. I only wanted a small taste...

"Bella?"

I moved tiredly to respond to my name. "Yes, Alice?"

"Don't think about it," she ordered. "It only makes it worse."

"How can you tell what I'm thinking about?" I asked. She took my hand in hers and watched me seriously, composing her thoughts.

Because you're staring off in the direction of the town, she said in her thoughts. I just asked you five questions and you didn't answer even one.

"Oh," I frowned. I wished she didn't answer me in her thoughts, it was too personal that way, and I by her saying it only her mind told me that Edward was coming back, but wasn't listing to her thoughts just yet. Usually, he was listing, just to check up on me. I was glad that he wasn't now.

I could read minds, just barely. I couldn't from a distance, I had to be touching, like Aro. Even then, there was a chance I wouldn't hear. My power was very weak, but I thought it better that way. There was already one mind-reader named Cullen. I wasn't going to steal his fame. I would prefer that thoughts remained, always, in the dark.

Five, four, three..Alice counted, her head spinning toward the fonr door. She grinned and shouted "Hey, Edward!" and her thoughts continued to count down. I watched the front door, and followed his graceful movement--too fast for human eyes--speeding toward me. I smiled when his lips brushed my cheek.

"Alice just got back from Vegas," I reported, knowing that no news of my own was interesting.

"Did she?" he mumbled. He seemed distratced--not in a bad way--but in a way that told me that he rather not talk about Alice.

Alice sighed heavily, exaggerated. "You know," she muttered, standing and walking out of the living room aimlessly. "There are some things I rather not see."

I knew what she meant. If I had been human, I would have blushed, but I wasn't human anymore. Instead, I looked down and smiled shyly. Edward hadn't gotten used to the loss of the blush, racing thump of my heart, and the pulse rush, but he was good at pretending he didn't notice. I was grateful for that. It made adjusting easier.

"Edward," I whispered as his lips travelled along my jaw and then neck. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

"No," he mumbled, bringing his eyes up to meet mine. "Do you?"

I shook my head. I stood and grabbed his hand, interlocking our fingers as I dragged him up the stairs to our room.

"You seem distracted," I said. "Anything I can do?"

The door closed behind us and then Edward was close to me again, one arm wrapped tightly around me and the other caressing my cheek. I stood, barely breathing, enjoying the moment.

"How was your day?" he asked, his tone returning to casual.

"Fine," I answered.

He frowned. "Only fine?"

"Well, you weren't here," I explained. "That automatically makes my day duller."

"As was mine," he chanted in his soft, dreamy, velvet voice. "Only fine, because I wasn't with you."

"Good," I cheered. "I was hoping you missed me as much as I missed you. That means you won't mind kissing me like you did yesterday."

His light golden eyes danced with delight. He remembered. I could tell that he had felt the same way that I had felt. He had rushed home just to see me, and just to kiss me like that--I hoped.

"No, I won't mind."

His lips pressed into mine, softly, at first, but then urgency increased. His hands were in my hair and my arms tangled around him. I was glad again to have the bed, our constant movement would be difficult on the couch...or the floor. I wouldn't have minded on the floor or in the air, just as long as it was. I crushed myself into him, struggling to keep him closer and closer. Keeping him a part of me was not difficult, especially when his hands traced my neck and body. I wanted more of him. I wasn't afraid to be greedy. I wrapped my legs around him too, hoping that would satisfy my thirst. It didn't, but I kept trying. I was breathless again, and I flipped my head back, giving Edward an oppertunity to feel his lips down my jaw, my neck, my shoulder...

As long as he kept kissing me, being a vampire would be fine. Nothing could go wrong.

Could it...?