Title: My Invisible Guy
Chapter 1: His grave
"You should let go if holding on is only hurting you…"
"No! This ain't true! What the hell are they saying? He's still here. I just held his hand awhile ago. Noooo!" I was sobbing badly. My vision became blurry because of the tears that fell nonstop. This possibly can't happen. He's not dead! He can't die! Tomo-chan who was trying to keep her cool hugged me and tightened her grip on me. I was not in my proper mind. This is all a dream.
(Celphone alarms: Missing you by Tamia)
Though I'm missing you
I'll find a way to get through
'Cause you were my system, my strength and my pride
Only God may know why
Still I will get by…
"Hugh!" It was the same dream again. Why do I keep dreaming about that accident? I don't want to remember it even the tiniest bit of it or anything that reminds me of him because deep in my heart lies the Sakuno who was crying, wanting him to come back to me. The Sakuno whom I used to be. Yes, I've gone totally insane since then. I kept on thinking that Ryoma was still with me even though I know he's not. Whenever I eat alone, I always think that he'll be by my side just like before. That whenever I wake up, he'll still send me Good Morning messages on my phone. I still love him but it doesn't change a thing. My love, even though no one can compare to it, it cannot bring my Ryoma back to life.
"Sakuno-chan! Are you read—" Tomo-chan opened my door only to see a crying Sakuno.
"Here you go again Sa-chan. Stop crying. You don't want to look like a mess in front of Ryoma's grave, right?" She said and signaled me to get ready then she went out of the door. I guess crying became a habit for me ever since he left. Now I remember what today is. It's his first death anniversary. How I survive this year without him, no one knows. Just last year, he was beside me, just last year, he got fed up with me because of my stupid book. Just last year, I hope the time stopped last year. Reminiscing is bad thing to do for a brokenhearted girl's health. Especially me when I remember how he saves the poor kid's life from getting hit by a car. And how he said to me that he'll love me no matter what and that however, wherever or whenever we meet, he'll still be the same and will still love me even if he lost his memories. Those times we were together now seemed like a dream. A dream I didn't want to wake up from.
Before I cry once more, I decided to get ready and fix my hair into braids. I remembered that Ryoma didn't want to see me without any pony on because I look too much beautiful and he wants that he'll be the only one who'll see me like that. I went downstairs and saw Tomo-chan watching the television. We were now dorm mates. She didn't want to leave me all by myself because she thinks that I'll do something bad to myself. Quite a paranoid Tomo-chan.
"Let's go Tomo-chan" I smiled at her.
"Why do you always smile when we are going to somewhere where Ryoma-sama is connected with? And stop smiling when it's over?" I looked a bit hurt at what she said.
"Gomen Sakuno-chan. I just care for you. I can see that every time you smile at us, it doesn't look convincing. As if you're only forcing yourself. I just want you to be happy that's all" She said with sad eyes.
"Sorry Tomo-chan, don't worry it'll be over soon" I said.
Ding dong
"I think Horio-kun's here. Let's go" I tugged Tomo with me as we met up with her ever-loving boyfriend.
"Hey babe. Hey Sakuno-chan" Horio-kun said as he kissed Tomo-chan on the cheeks. Tomo-chan looked uneasy because she knows that whenever I see couples, I start to think about how Ryoma and I used to be.
At Ryoma's grave, they stayed with me for a few minutes and began to walk around to give me some time alone to talk to the one I love.
"Ryoma-kun, how are you? If you'd ask about me, I'd say that I'm happy" I said, I feel like I'm going to cry anytime soon.
"No, you aren't" Someone whispered. Was it my conscience?
"I'm really happy. I do a lot of things like eating every time. I feel like I became fat. Do you think so?" I continued.
"I know you rarely eat" Someone answered. I looked around to see if there's someone who's listening to what I'm saying but found no one.
"R-Ryoma-kun. Someone is whispering and it's creepy. I can feel like someone's watching me" I was terrified but I continued cleaning his grave as I emote. Then no one replied anymore. I guess it was my conscience after all. Even though I was feeling cold chills in my body. After staring at his grave, I can't hold it anymore and I started to cry but with limitations.
"If you only knew Ryoma-kun. I've always wanted to see you again. I always wish that somewhere or anywhere, you'll be with me again. And we'll be happy just like the old times. I miss you so much" I decided to stop crying when I saw Tomo-chan and Horio-kun going back to fetch me. I didn't want them to see this side of mine.
"Ne, Sakuno-chan. Let's grab something to eat" Tomo-chan suggested because we didn't eat breakfast or any snack at all. All I wanted was to see Ryoma as soon as possible. I stood up and bid Ryoma my farewell. We went back to Horio-kun's car and he started the engine.
"Baka. Be careful"
I felt like someone said, 'Baka' when the engine started but decided to ignore it because it might be just an illusion.