This is a songfiction based on an odd idea I had one day while listening to an oldies station. I've never written a songifc before, so if this isn't very good…that's my excuse. :o) Disclaimer: I don't own Friends…this fanfiction was written purely for fun and entertainment. I don't own the song "It Hurts to Be in Love" either.
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The man walked aimlessly into his bedroom, his mind swirling with thoughts of her. Rachel Green.
To him, she was the most beautiful, perfect woman in the entire world. But his feelings for her did not, could not, matter. Even though she made him feel things that no other woman had ever made him feel, even though she made him laugh, even though he thought she was the most incredible woman he had ever met…none of that mattered.
He turned his stereo on and smiled humorlessly when the old 1960s song, "It Hurts to Be in Love," blared from the speakers. It certainly fit his current mood…in fact, the song could well be the new theme song for his life. The smile slowly faded from his face as he sank onto his bed.
"It hurts to be in love
When the only one you love
Turns out to be someone
Who's not in love with you
It hurts to love her so
When deep down inside you know
She will never want you
No matter what you do"
That much was true. She wasn't in love with him. She would never want him, no matter what he did. No matter how she made him feel, he knew deep down that she saw him only as a friend--period. She would never see him in that way.
"And so you cry a little bit
Oh, die a little bit…
Day and night, night and day
It hurts to be in love this way
How long can I exist
Wanting lips I've never kissed
She gives all her kisses
To somebody else"
Kisses. Oh, he'd come so close over the past few weeks…so close to kissing her. It had been nearly impossible for him not to kiss her, had taken all of his willpower to resist. But one thing lurking in the back of his mind always stopped him. He was certain of one thing…whether she realized it yet or not, she was in love with someone else. That someone else was one of his best friends…and he would never betray a friend.
"She thinks I'm just a friend
Though it hurts I must pretend
The only way to keep her
Is keep it to myself"
He had to keep it to himself, no matter what, he knew. The only way to keep her friendship was to make sure that she never found out how he really felt about her. He knew that he could survive being just her good friend and not her boyfriend, though at the moment it felt like torture. But to be totally out of her life would kill him. He imagined life without Rachel, and felt an emptiness in his heart that he had never experienced before.
"It hurts to be in love
Day and night…
Night and day…
It hurts to be in love"
As the last notes of the song faded into silence, he groaned loudly and fell back onto his bed.
"Joey," called a lilting voice from the living room, "are you okay?"
"Yeah," said the man--Joey--sitting up again on the edge of the bed. "I'm fine, Rach."
"Good," she said, stepping into the room. "I heard a weird noise when I first came in. Anyway, I just stopped by to pick up the rest of my things." She gestured to a bulging tote bag slung over her shoulder. "I guess this is everything. I just can't believe we're not going to be roommates anymore!" She sounded a little choked up, and Joey could feel tears prickling under his eyelids like tiny needles.
Ross stepped into Joey's room. "Hey, Joey!" he said, smiling. "Rachel," he said in a firm tone, "let me carry that bag for you! You know you shouldn't be lifting anything heavy." He took the tote bag from her and slung it over his own shoulder. She smiled at him in a half-amused, half-annoyed way, but didn't argue with the overprotective gesture.
"Well, we'd better get going," said Ross. "We have a lot of unpacking to do. And you know Rachel…I do mean a LOT of unpacking."
Rachel laughed. "He's right. I guess we'd better go. Bye, Joey. I really loved living with you. See you tomorrow?"
Joey pasted a smile on his face. "Yeah, sure! I'll see you tomorrow."
Rachel kissed Joey lightly on the forehead. "Bye, sweetie."
Ross smiled widely as he took Rachel's arm. "See you tomorrow, Joey," he said. When Rachel turned to leave the room, he whispered, "Thanks again, Joe."
Joey nodded wordlessly. And he watched in silence as Ross and Rachel walked away together, arm in arm, and as Rachel disappeared from the apartment, and from his grasp, once again.
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