I sat opposite him, my knees drawn up beneath my chin and my hands clamped around my ankles to stop them shaking furiously. Though both of us were sat in the same bay window, he refused to look at me, leant forward with his elbows resting on his knees and his face in his hands, facing into the room.
The atmosphere was horribly tense. Everyone else had long since abandoned the room, unable to cope with the pressure of being near the two of us at the same time. I didn't blame them. If I could have found my voice, I'd have begged him to stay away from me.
But that would have only made things worse, and I couldn't bear how terrible they were now. So instead, I bit my tongue and kept quiet, trying not to notice how every time he looked at me, I felt like a utter failure. How could I have let this happen to me? To him? To us? Had I completely lost my mind? The question would have made me laugh, if it wasn't so painfully accurate.
He suddenly took a deep, shaky breath, lifting his head long enough to speak. And still, his eyes refused to look toward me. "We're going to get through this. We'll be okay."
He sounded so sure and confident, so . . . strong. It seemed to radiate off him, wrapping around me like a safety blanket. My heart swelled, and burning tears attacked the back of my eyes. No, I couldn't fall for him anymore than I already had. It hurt too much. Neither of us deserved that. Him, especially. I hadn't decided if that made all of this that much more painful. He was so good and moral and sure that the good guys had to win. He was exactly the kind of guy I'd want to spend the rest of my life with. That much, I knew for a fact.
My thoughts made my throat close, irritated and sore. I tried to shake them away, but it wasn't working. The tears grew closer to the edge, and my stomach twisted anxiously. More than anything, I just wanted this to be over. I didn't want the constant aching in my chest, I didn't want to know what I was missing, I just wanted to go home . . . to forget.
The tears suddenly streamed down my face at the thought and the sheer agony it brought, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep the sobs quiet. He went rigid opposite me, his hands clamping around the edges of the bench we were on to keep himself still. The sight of it was too much to take and my face fell onto my knees, my arms wrapping around them tightly as I cried.
At that moment, I knew only one thing for sure; if I ever found out who had done this, I'd kill them.