Attached

She traced her finger along the grooves in the worn limestone; careful not to be positioned on the ground facing the slate, as that would have been most disturbing. In the chilling night air, Ein rubbed his body against Ed's kneeling form and she battered him away with contempt. This wasn't a time for tail wagging; it was a time for grief. The dog whined and she shot him and angry look, to which he recoiled. Facing back to the grave, Ed scowled herself, How could Ed do that to Ein? Ein is Ed's friend. Looking back to the data dog, Ed gave a sorry smile and the canine trotted over and nestled into her shoulder.

It had been three years since Ed and Ein had left the Bebop in pursuit of her father. Ed herself was sixteen now and that means he would have been thirty. Would have been… Eventually giving up on meeting her father again, Ed just traveled Earth with Ein at her side, looking at all the interesting things she could find. She assumed that she must have circumnavigated the meteor ravaged planet by now, but it was hard to tell. The things she'd seen helped her to grow up very quickly. She'd seen things that were beautiful, things that made her cry and things that almost killed her. She'd grown from a gibberish speaking girl into a hardened young woman. She grew to love her life on the road. But in all of those years, she held on to the memories. She imagined the three of them, hunting bounties and having fun, even sometimes talking about her, but now, all that was gone. All she did was scuttle over a cliff to investigate that carved piece of limestone, and her world was changed forever. All of her fantasies were destroyed; all of her dreams, cast away in an instant. She wondered how long it had been since he'd passed; upon checking the grave she figured it was only about a week after she'd left. Ed felt her heart sink even lower, How could this happen to Spike Spike? Why didn't Faye Faye contact Edward? As she dwelled on this, Ein broke through her isolated state of mind with a series of loud barks.

"Alright Ein" Ed muttered as she began to build a fire, with Ein snapping excitedly at her heels.

A few hours later, after Ed and Ein had eaten their meals and said their goodnights, Ed crept over to the grave again. Even by the fire's dying light, she could make out every word on the tombstone.

"Spike Spiegel…" she whispered aloud.

Hearing his name spoken aloud brought tears to Ed's eyes. Her face grew hot as she buried her head in her hands, not want him to see her crying. She could not believe it. Spike was the only person Ed felt attached to, he was the only reason for her to go back to the Bebop. Though at the time she didn't show it, she worshipped Spike. Over the past three years she'd thought about all the people aboard the Bebop, but he was on her mind most of all. At first, she couldn't understand her fixation with him, but as time went on, she realized what it was. Love. Ed had fallen in love with Spike. She knew he had feelings for her; even though he said he hated kids, he still tried his best to be a responsible parent. In Ed's mind, she always imagined that if she had stayed on the Bebop, the green haired martian's feelings would evolve to match her own. Even recently she'd toyed with the idea of returning to the ship and telling Spike her true feelings. He would have laughed at her at first, but with time his mind would change. She'd fantasized situation wherein Spike had shared with her the experience of her first cigarette, followed by her first kiss. Now, all of those dreams seemed as stupid and as childish as she the way used to act in front of him.

As Ed lay in her makeshift bed, she looked up at the stars. Somewhere up there, Faye and Jet are living their lives and Spike is looking down on them; he's looking down on all of us. As the last of her tears fell from Ed's eyes, she drifted off to sleep. She slept restlessly, plagued by dreams of him. No, not dreams, nightmares. Every single episode ended in Spike's sudden, often violent demise. After witnessing a sequence of three murders, Ed woke in a cold sweat, only to see her beloved bounty hunter floating inches above her. She wasn't stupid; she knew that what she was seeing was merely a figment of her over active imagination, but she played along nonetheless.

"Hey Ed" an opaque Spike whispered with a smile.

"Hello Spike" replied Ed, wincing at the sound of his name.

"You've changed," he mused "You've grown up."

"I have cha-"

Oblivious to Ed's retort, Spike continued "You're not the child I knew. You're a woman now."

"Yes, I am a woman. A woman who's in l-"

"A beautiful woman." Spike interrupted.

Ed was glad it was dark; else her apparition of Spike would have seen her blush. "Thank you" she said as she got to her feet.

"You've grown into an intelligent young woman."

"I know," Ed said excitedly as she stepped towards Spike, "And I want you to be with you."

"You were with me. You left, remember?"

"No," she said with mild impatience as she moved forward and clutched Spike's hand, "I want to be with you...romantically."

Ed closed her eyes and, feeling caught up in the heat of the moment, she squeezed Spike's hand and leant in for the kiss. At the last second, she felt him pull away.

"Ed, it can't be like this."

"It can! Why can't it?" she said as tears welled up in her eyes.

"I can't love you, I just can't." he said listlessly as he began to walk away.

"Spike!" Ed screamed, "You have to stay! You have to love me! Please! Love me!"

"I can't Ed. You know it as well as I do."

"Just… before you go… tell me… how?"

"How?"

"How did you…die?"

"I can't Ed." Spike repeated as he began to fade into oblivion.

"NO!" Ed sobbed, waking Ein, who came over to comfort her. Ed lay there for hours, huddled with her welsh corgi, sobbing in the dirt. When sleep came, it came heavily. By the time Ed woke the sun was high in the sky.

She walked over to the grave and stood in solemn silence. She knew how Spike died; she'd finally figured it out. He was too attached. He would always tell those around him that the past didn't matter, but his eyes reflected a different story. He died trying to live in the past; he just couldn't let go. Ed wouldn't let herself suffer the same fate. She could feel herself dwelling too heavily on the past, holding on to the most measly of things, all for the sake of memories. She was too attached to those memories, to those ideals, that she refused to make new ones. She knew that she had to move on, she just knew it. Ein ran towards her, his tail wagging; as if he could sense the change in Ed's mood.

"Goodbye, Spike" Ed muttered as she threw the crudely made flag to the ground. "Ein," she said, turning to the dog, "We're leaving. I've got an email to send."

As the computer hummed into life, Ed tapped her fingers. When she eventually patched into the net, she hastily typed out an address she hadn't used for almost three years…

A/N: This was written as a response to a contest set by fellow Bebop writer, LuffyLuffy. She will also have a Spike/Ed fic up now. I implore you to please read hers and review it with your thoughts on which of the two is better.