I Don't Know You Anymore
**********
Yes, another dreaded songfic by yours
truly. Please don't think this has
anything to do with Shatter. If you do,
you'll be desperately disappointed.
This is just something random that came to me while listening to my
Savage Garden cd around midnight. You
asked for more Ginny, and here she is.
She's always so angsty with me.
I suppose we all are angst-ridden, we just don't know it yet. As I said in a conversation with Valkyrja,
issues come part and parcel with the wand.
And yes, the Muse is on the move…she can't seem to settle in this
humidity.
Disclaimer:
Everything recognisable as Harry Potter doesn't belong to me! It belongs to the most magnificent JK
Rowling. I just fill the characters
with angst and set them to music, honest.
The song belongs to Savage Garden, those wonderful lads from Down Under.
**********
The answering
machine picked up the call, and Ginny looked at it as she sat with a book in
her hands. She was becoming more and
more enamoured of the Muggle machine the longer she remained married. She brushed an errant curl out of her tired
eyes, eyes that seemed hollow, even at 23.
Muggle machines were handy, and carried no memories. She could pretend she was away. She pretended to be away a lot.
"You've reached the home of Alex and Ginny Hopewell. No-one can get to the phone, so leave a
message and eventually, we'll catch up."
The light flashed, and after the
tone, a voice began to speak.
"Ginny? It's Harry. I'm pretty sure this is the right number…Ron
gave it to me. Anyway…look, I'm in
England for a few days this week, today, Friday and Saturday. Could we possibly catch up? Please?
There are a lot of things I should have said that I need to say
now. It's important, Gin. Anyway, here's the number of the cell phone
thing they gave me, 568-9005. Call me?"
I would like to visit you for a while
Get away and out of this city
Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break
We can go sit on your back porch
Relax
Talk about anything
It don't matter
I'll be courageous if you can pretend you've forgiven me
Ginny stared at the answering machine,
and pressed the button in a state of shock.
The sound of Harry's voice filled the room once more, and she focused on
it intently. "He sounds so sad," Ginny
murmured. Just the sound of his voice
brought back so many memories.
Hogwarts, Yule Balls, Christmases at the Burrow, stories told by the
fire in the Gryffindor Common Room, kisses stolen in shadowed corridors. They'd grown up at Hogwarts, both of
them. She was his best friend's sister,
and once he learned to see her as more than that, once he understood her, they
came together so naturally. It was as
if she was meant to be by his side, made for it. So it seemed at the time.
Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
Everything had seemed so right, Ginny
remembered. Until yet again, Harry
Potter, the Boy Who Lived, broke her heart.
The first time it had happened, she had been so young, going to her
first Yule Ball with him and feeling so grown up. She'd had the world's worst crush on him then, and when he lost
interest in her at the Ball, it seemed as if her world had just shattered. Ginny realised she didn't know pain, didn't
know what it felt like to have a dream crumble beneath her until much
latter. When the rumours started to
fly, when the accusations started, then her world crumbled. Harry and Hermione. He'd been cheating on her, perhaps for
months. Apparently, after Hermione and
Ron had ended things, she sought comfort in the arms of her best friend, and it
had turned into something more. It was
then that Ginny knew what it felt like to have the bottom drop out of her
world.
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
She had
picked up the pieces and carried on, ignoring him. People had called her the Ice Queen after a while, so effectively
did she shut out the world. Harry didn't
exist. Hermione didn't exist. Nothing existed except schoolwork and her
family. And even her family was
questionable at times. She just shut
out the world, shut out everything that could possibly harm her. That was until Alex. He was a Ravenclaw, gentle where she was
frozen, forgiving where she held a grudge, loving where she was cruel. Eventually, he melted her heart, and he won
it. At least most of it. Ginny was tired of having her heart
shattered, tired of trusting. But Alex
was enough for her. The best she
thought she'd do, and for once in her life, she listened to her mother. She married him.
I know I let you down
Again and again
I know I never really treated you right
I've paid the price
I'm still paying for it every day
She assumed Harry
knew. Everyone knew. The Weasleys had managed to do well for
themselves towards the end of her Hogwarts career, thanks mostly to Fred and
George with their joke business. It
was, if nothing else, a beautiful wedding, and everyone agreed that Ginny was a
truly stunning bride. Her mother was
slightly disappointed that the groom wasn't Harry. The Burrow wasn't the same without him, she'd complained. But Mrs. Weasley was never one to deny her
daughter happiness, and when Ginny said Alex made her happy, that was enough
for her. Ron fussed and fretted, in his
own brotherly way, letting her know he cared enough to inspect the man he was
letting his baby sister marry. All and
all, everyone was happy at her wedding.
Except her.
So maybe I shouldn't have called
Was it too soon to tell?
Oh what the hell
It doesn't really matter
How do you redefine something that never really had a name?
Has your opinion changed?
She put all
her dreams away with the white robes she wore that April morning, tucked her hopes
away with the dried flowers from the bouquet.
Ginny was willing to settle for being safe from harm, she was willing to
settle for being secure. Harry had
promised her the world, and trampled on that promise. When Alex merely promised to be faithful, to protect her and
provide for her, she believed him. Yet
she was still empty somehow. No
children in the house, no real passion, either. They were just two people, almost flatmates who happened to sleep
in the same bed. When Ginny slept, and
that was too rare to think on. Insomnia
was just one of the things that kept her up at nights. Dissatisfaction, bitterness, and
frustration…those were the easiest for her to name at least. Often times, Ginny wondered what her life
had been like had she accepted Harry back.
Had she listened to his version of the story. And time and time again, that ending seemed happier than the one
she was living.
Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
And now Harry
came back, just when she was thinking of him.
Just when the emptiness of her house and her marriage and her life was
threatening to consume her. Just when
she missed him and was threatening to walk out on all her safety and
security. She'd felt safe with Harry,
too, but it had been something more daring, something edgy and special and
wonderful. She'd felt complete. But how she missed him now, with an
intensity that was almost physical.
Just the sound of his voice, that was almost too much. She picked up the phone, her fingers dancing
over the number pad, and she held her breath as it rang.
"Hullo?"
"Harry? It's me, Ginny. I…I got
your message…"
I see your face
I see your face
