"Jealousy is indeed a poor medium to secure love, but it is indeed a secure medium to destroy one's self repect. For jealous people, like dope-fiends, stoodp to the lowest level and in the end inpire only disgust and loathing." Emma Goldman
The first time she had seen Tom Riddle was the time when her life changed forever. That was the day she became obsessed. He was everything she wanted, everything she had never (and could never) have. All time and energy was fixated on him, on getting what she wanted.
But there were problems.
Why would Tom Riddle, a handsome, smart, rich muggle fall in love with her, a filthy disgusting witch?
Then there was that muggle girl that he liked, the one who called him Tom as they rode by the hovel where she lived. The one who frowned upon her, turned her nose up as she waltzed by. Merope Gaunt would have given anything to be her, to have what she did.
At first, she had thought it an appropriate solution to all her problems. She only ever wanted someone to love her, was she not entitled to that? Never had she had someone who did, who cared for her and protected her. Who trusted and helped her. Who looked out for what she wanted. Why not use the potion? She was a witch after all, she could do as she wished. If he wouldn't fall in love with her, she would make him.
And at first, everything was good. She adored being loved. He liked to flatter her with gifts, from the smallest flower to the most expensive necklaces, affection and love. He took her out and showed her the world, taught her things she had never known, and always stood up for and protected her from the prying eyes that followed her every move. Everyday, she found herself falling deeper in love with the handsome and kind muggle. But everyday, she couldn't help herself feeling, wondering what would happen if she didn't give him the potion. Would he still be able to love her? Still stay with her and cherish her, like he did now? She couldn't help but hoping that he would, even though she knew the truth.
Eventually, she came to despise herself. She was destroying him, she knew it. She saw the way they looked at him, praying that he'd see sense, that he would come home. This man was not hers, not truly anyway. Unlike her, he had a family who cared for him, who worried about him, who loved him. And she had taken him away from that. Her jealousy had destroyed his life. He was not who he was supposed to be, and it was all her fault. She could no longer poison the person she loved more then anything and if he didn't love her in the end, then she would survive. She was an heir of Slytherin for a reason, wasn't she?
But she couldn't survive. He did not stay, did not even have the decency to support the mother of his unborn child. He fled in a torrent of abuse, calling her names and beating her until she was blue, then returned to his old life as if nothing had happened. She did not say a word as it all happened, this was her punishment after all and she would suffer it in silence.
In the end, she didn't have the strength to survive. When she lost him, she lost everything. She didn't have the will to live, not even for her son.
A/N: Huge thanks to Every Shining Star for betaing! So what did you think? If you have time, please leave a review. They mean a lot. :) Oh and thanks for reading!