I Killed A Man

"Rummaging in our souls, we often dig up something that ought to have lain there unnoticed. "
― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

"Draco, years ago I knew a boy who made all the wrong choices. Please let me help you." Dumbledore pleaded.

"I don't want your help! Don't you understand? I have to do this. I have to kill you, or he's gonna kill me." I replied, before taking a shaky breath and steadying my wand hand. "Avada Kedavra!" My desperation and fear poured into that spell, as did my desire to kill this man so that I could live. Our eyes locked as the life left his eyes and he tumbled back, falling to the ground below the tower. For a moment I stared at the spot where he had stood and if felt like an eternity had passed before everything started to move normally again. I heard my Aunt let out a deranged shriek of joy as she had seen Dumbledore as he fell back.

"Well done Draco", I shivered as her hand caressed my jaw and neck before she pulled away, "the Dark Lord will be pleased."

If she said anything else I didn't hear it. The world seemed to take on a single tone of sound, if any at all. My ears were ringing but yet they weren't. I was in a daze as I walked with my fellow death eaters out of Hogwarts. As we passed Hagrid's pathetic hut, I staggered slightly before leaning forward and putting my hands on my knees to steady myself. The world was spinning violently around me, it was a whirlwind of flames, shouts, smoke and darkness. So much darkness. Suddenly I was on my hands and knees throwing up my dinner. My hands dug into the grass to brace myself against the heaving of my stomach. Once the muscles of my rioting body settled, I tried to catch my breath, though I was jarred from the process by someone grabbing the collar of my jacket. The person lifted me from the ground and dragged me forward until my feet caught up with my body. A drawled, "Scourgify" told me that it was Snape who was aiding me in moving and who had just cleaned the remnants of my sick from my face. Suddenly we were at the edge of the boundary of Hogwarts, I was not sure how we had arrived here so quickly. I wasn't given much time to ponder this as Snape roughly placed my hand on his arm before apparating with me.

OO

The gravel crunched beneath our feet as we landed in front of a gate that was all too familiar to me and everything swirled again as I stumbled for a moment before everything around me came sharply into focus. A chill clung to me as we passed through the gate and walked towards the manor. This time, coming home didn't bring me comfort. A grim expression was glued to my face as we entered the front door and it kept my emotions from bleeding through publicly. My parents had waited for me to return after completing the task, and suddenly I was embraced tightly by my Mother who kept my Father at bay as she swept me towards my room.

"Draco, I am so glad you're home." Mother said, as she fussed over me to make sure I was alright. I had nothing to say so I let her continue to check me over and walk me to my room. What do you say after you murder a man? I knew she had been worried over me, and she had every right to be. I also knew that she was displeased with Father, even though they tried to hide their problems from me they weren't as discrete as they thought they were. The walk to my room didn't take us long and I pulled away from her.

"I would like some time alone Mother."

A worried smile crossed her face as she looked at me before caressing my cheek, "Of course Draco, whatever you want." She then turned and walked away, while I entered my room and shut the door behind me. My tense body relaxed as I leaned against it and ran a hand through my hair. A wide grin formed on my face as I thought about the night's events. I had done it! I had succeeded in my first mission for the Dark Lord. I felt giddy and wished that my friends were here so I could talk about my success. I will be praised and rewarded when the Dark Lord is next here for a meeting, and my family will be back in his favor. I shed my jacket, tossing it onto a nearby chair and loosened my tie as I crossed my room towards my balcony.

"Mindy!" I called for a house elf as I stepped out to enjoy the breeze and watch the peacocks strut about.

"Yes Master Draco, M-mindy is here."

"Fetch me some fire whiskey and don't get caught this time you stupid little thing." I hissed then waved her out.

"Y-yes Master Draco."

I heard a pop and knew she was gone. I wasn't of age to drink yet but what my parents didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Besides, if I was old enough to kill and receive the dark mark then by Merlin I was old enough to drink. I leaned against the railing, taking in the swirling fog that plagued the hedges and my Mother's gardens. A few minutes later I heard Mindy return, a cruel smirk formed on my lips and it turned into a sneer as I turned to face the elf.

"You took too long." My voice was gleeful but I took no notice of it in the moment. I took my wand out of my pocket and waved the tray with the whiskey on it to settle on my desk. "You know what happens when you aren't quick enough."

"M-master D-draco, please, n-no! Mindy, ...Mindy will do b-better next t-time!"

The elf cowered and backed herself up against the door to my room, terror apparent on her face as I raised my wand. A smile was my expression before I replied to her, "Who said there would be a next time?" I enjoyed it as her already big eyes managed to become even larger.

"Silencio!" I slowly advanced on the now trembling elf. "No one can hear you now, not like they'd care anyways." A giggle managed to escape my lips before I spoke a curse I had always wanted to try.

"Crucio!"

I watched as the pathetic being before me began to writhe violently making no noise, as I had deprived her of the one outlet to express the intense pain of the curse. I am unsure how long I held the curse on her but when I was finished the elf was panting heavily and had glassy eyes. I brought my wand up to study and appreciate it, while contemplating how I wanted to kill this elf. Suddenly I had an idea and with a smile I went to pour myself some fire whiskey.

"Moose!" I called, then waited for my favorite house elf to appear. He was my favorite because he was mute and obedient. Perfection for a servant. He appeared without a sound and bowed low to me, awaiting his orders.

"Take that filth out of my room and feed her to the dogs in the front lawn." I took a sip of my drink before returning to the balcony. Mere moments later I heard my hounds set loose and the shrieks of Mindy being torn apart, followed by the jeers of death eaters who happened to be milling about outside. I sighed and gazed at the moon before downing the rest of my drink. The alcohol doused the edge of excitement at the power I held now. I felt the high and glee I had gotten out of torturing and killing Mindy start to simmer down. I turned and entered my room, closing the doors behind me and making sure that they were locked. After securing my room in what some would call a paranoid manner, I changed into a pair of black silk pajama pants and slipped into bed. I calmed my thoughts, relaxed, closed my eyes and started to drift off.

OOO

"Draco."

My eyes flew open, wide and terrified as I was met with the bloodied version of Dumbledore. I struggled as he held me down, crushing the bones in my wrists as I struggled.

"Draco...you murdered me, and now I will kill you." His voice was just as calm as when he was alive and his eyes were too deep, they were sucking me in. I scrambled to grab onto anything as I fell into darkness.

"NO! GET OFF ME!" I awoke in a cold sweat panting hard as my eyes wildly searched my room for my headmaster that I killed mere hours ago. The moon light shone clearly into my room but no one was there, I was alone. A sigh of relief penetrated the silence of the room though it was quickly followed by a gasp as I noticed that my balcony doors were open, with the curtains fluttering in the breeze and letting fog unfurl into my room. I grabbed my wand quickly before getting out of bed and scouring my room for an intruder. After finding no one, I closed the balcony doors and added a magical ward that would allow me to be awoken if they were tampered with. As I climbed back into bed I couldn't help the feeling that things were not right, something had changed in the past few hours. I can't pinpoint what exactly, but things would never be the same. I was going down a new path and there was no turning back.