Drastic Measures

By Ice Queen (ice_queen_5@hotmail.com)

Category: Romance/Humor

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: CoS, GoF

Summary: Ginny decides to get Harry's attention, no matter what it takes, too bad it blows up in her face. Naked Draco, fantasies of blackmail, it's all good. A good dose of D/G goodness, much messed up humor.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: Warning, there are some hints of Draco being a perv, not to mention Myrtle. Yet another of the three fics I wrote while without power for a week. Ah the horror if someone got a hold of that notebook... *Shudders* Well, enjoy mina-san! *You can tell who spends too much time watching anime, ne?*

She would never have resorted to such drastic measures had he not been so completely oblivious! This was a clear cut case of doing something for his own good, and nothing anyone might say about it would have changed her mind. Harry Potter would be HERS. She glared at the back of the toilet stall, telling herself that even though it was against the rules, she had no other choice. Ron would marry Hermione, and Harry would marry her, Ginny Weasley, because that's the only way things would end up happily ever after!

She hunched over the cauldron, tossing in the ingredients listed by the book floating next to her. Hair of newt, pickled frog, simmer slightly. She double checked her amounts, glad that she had all the necessary supplies, after a quick trip to Snape's that was. The best thing about it was that Myrtle had left the restroom for a while so Ginny was completely alone. Myrtle's probably peeking on the prefects again. Ginny thought with a smirk. I hope that mettlesome ghost gets a good look at Malfoy. If anyone deserves it, it's that arrogant prat.

But Draco should have been the last thing on her mind. She had finally come up with the foolproof way of making Harry Potter notice her. Ginny carefully dropped a pinch of Bicorn powder into the mix, jumping back in case the potion chose to blow. The pink substance bubbled, then began to calm slightly. She started to breathe a sigh of relief when...

"BANG!!"

The potion exploded in her face, covering her with a sticky pink gooze. "YUCK!" Ginny shouted, shoving as much of the pink goo out of her eyes as possible. She walked over to the sink in order to wash herself off. It would be quite dangerous to her if she and the gooze were in close proximity to a male. Thankfully it was a girls bathroom, No males ever-

"BANG!" The door slammed open to reveal an irate Draco Malfoy wearing only a towel and a scowl.

"MYRTLE!! I SWEAR!! This is-What are you doing in here, Weasley?" He looked completely unaffected. Ginny's mouth dropped open, then she forced it to close.

"Y-you're not... Of course not, you would have to have a heart." She turned back to the sink, washing the rest of the pink goo away. "For once in my life, Malfoy, I'm actually happy to see you."

Draco looked down at his towel-clad form with a smirk. "I'm sure."

I mean, it could have been rather horrible if someone... susceptible... had come in. You wouldn't believe how glad I am that you're... not." He gaped at her for a moment, not sure whether to be offended or not, not to mention exactly what he was offended about in the first place. "But if you were looking for Myrtle I would check the prefect's bathroom, but it appears you've already been there."

"Why aren't you cringing in fear, or obsessing over Potter?" Draco asked, trying to get his sarcasm factor back.

"I... uh... well for one, it's hard to be afraid of a skinny guy in a towel when you have six brothers, and two... I don't see Harry here, do you?" She exaggerated looking around as though she expected Potter to appear from nowhere. Which wouldn't be that surprising if one thought about it.

Draco rolled his eyes, for a second forgetting that his hold on the towel was tenuous at best and letting it slip slightly. Ginny giggled, making the blonde blush as he tightened it around his waist. "Get to your class Weasel! Before I'm forced to take points away from your precious Gryffindor."

"B-but... you're the one in a girls bathroom that isn't a girl, and classes are over for the day!" She looked almost concerned. "Maybe you should go take a nap, Malfoy, because your insulting seems a little off." Draco growled, then stormed out of the room in a huff.

"Malfoy?! DRACO!!" Ginny shouted. Draco turned, a scowl firmly on his face at the sight of her blushing averted gaze.

"What, Weasel?"

Ginny blushed even harder while hiding her eyes with one hand. "Y-you forgot your towel." She stated, shoving the towel to him blindly.

"Uh... Right." He jerked the towel out of her hands and walked away.

"The words are 'Thank' and 'You!' you might try them sometime!" He laughed as she stomped her foot, sticking her tongue out at his retreating back. When he was out of sight Ginny dropped to the ground, hiding her face in her hands.

"That... was a full dose... Full potency... I can't believe I was so stupid! I practically told him everything!" She glared over at the harmless looking book whose title read A Hundred potions for a Million Loves. And thanks to her stupidity and his habit of going into the Girls bathroom, both she and Draco Malfoy had been in close proximity to one of the most potent potions in the book. Could life get any worse?

Just then she heard Myrtle snickering from behind her. Probably hadn't covered her eyes when Malfoy walked down the hall, the annoying ghost. Ginny scowled, passing by her without a word. She poured the cauldrons remains down the toilet with a resolute "FLUSH!" Then Ginny Weasley walked away, vowing to never even think about another love potion for the rest of her days.

***********

Draco stormed all the way back to the Prefect's bathroom, grabbing his robes and snapping at the giggling mermaid. That had been the Worst encounter with a Weasley yet! And he had had quite a few. There was just something about the youngest of the redheads that caught him off guard. Somehow whenever she found her annoying little voice Draco came up at a disadvantage. Even the first time he had met her, his best insult was to call her Potter's girlfriend! For a Malfoy that was third rate, at best. Of course he now chalked it up to the inexperience of youth, and the fact was he had grown soft with such easy targets like Potter hung out with. The male Weasley with his quick temper and Granger with her bushy hair and buck teeth, well, needless to say the brown eyed redhead was too much trouble.

Now, fully dressed, he found it easier to carry off his accustomed sneer. He had spent too long thinking of the girl instead of figuring out what his revenge would be. No doubt the tale of him walking starkers down the hall from a girls bathroom would be out by morning. He wasn't looking forward to it.

*************

"Hey! Ginny! Where were you? You missed dinner!" She waved, not replying. Ginny ran up the stairs, jumping into the first shower stall she saw, clothing and all. The last thing she wanted was yet another male to run into her. And she had no idea how much of the potion had remained after washing in the sink.

There had to be some way of reversing the potion's effects, especially since she seemed to be the only one affected. In some ways that was a good thing, she needn't worry about explaining the problem to Malfoy, but imagine what would happen if he found out she... The mere thought sent a shudder of terror down her spine. If Malfoy knew that she now loved him, thanks to the potion... who knows how he would exploit it?! She climbed out of the shower, pulling a towel around her and picking her sodden clothing off the ground.

Her best chance, at least until she found some sort of cure, or Draco died a stunningly sudden and painful death, (She would rather it be him than her) was to continue obsessing over Harry. Or at the very least appear to be obsessing over him. Ginny had never been one to give her heart grudgingly, even if it was solely due to the effects of a miss-opportune potion exploding in her face.

She went directly to bed, pleading a headache to any that asked. With a mournful sigh she curled around her pillow, hoping against hope to wake up and find it had all been a dream.

Little did she know that Draco was doing the exact same thing in his dorm room far away.

***********

Draco walked into the dining hall with a forbidding look the next morning. He swore that the first person to mention his baring it all in the hallway would regret it for the rest of their unnaturally short lives. He waited, he even counted to ten... But nothing happened. Not a snicker, wolf whistle or innuendo came, and not even the Dream Team seemed to have heard anything about it. And right beside them was the redhead herself, staring at Potter as though he were heaven-sent.

His lips pulled back in a canine like snarl. He didn't know why he was doing it, yet for some reason that sight alone made his usually cold blood run hot. He shrugged, shaking off the strange mood swing and heading for his table. What Draco really wanted to know was what the little redhead planned on blackmailing him for. Probably money, she's too 'Good' to blackmail me for my body... Pity.

************

He was staring at her, and he had been doing it since the moment he had entered the room. Ginny knew without having looked up even once. Just like she knew the instant he had walked into the room, his classically handsome face looking even meaner than usual. She shook her head, trying to physically force the thoughts from her mind. Think Harry, think Harry... Guy that saved you... cute... not as cute-STOP! She turned, facing more towards Harry than usual and forcing more adoration into her gaze. Thankfully Harry was so trained to ignore her that he never even noticed that something was wrong. Her friends merely snickered, figuring that she was having one of her hard time crushes again, and Ginny suffered in silence.

She was so glad that the meal was over that she jumped out of her chair and was one of the first out the door. Leaving even the Dream Team staring curiously after her. She had almost made it to her class without a 'Draco Encounter' and was beginning to breathe again when someone grabbed her by the back of her robes and dragged her into an abandoned classroom.

"How much do you want?" Draco demanded, pinning her to the wall with an arm on either side of her.

"I-I don't-"

"Not money? All right, then who?"

"Who what?"

He gave her a disgusted look, shoving one hand through his pale blonde hair. "Who do you want me to off? Is it Creevey? Has he given up on stalking Potter and taken to snapping shots of you in the shower?" She shook her head mutely. "And here I was planning on swiping the negatives..." Draco smirked at her horrified look. "All right, Longbottom it is than! It should be easy enough, merely hand him a little bicorn powder in potions and the git will end up killing-"

"STOP!! You are NOT going to kill anyone!" She bellowed in his face. Draco had the gall to look disappointed, until a thought occurred to him.

"Then... You ARE after my body!" His smirk was so wide she didn't know how it fit on his face. "Didn't even have to blackmail me for that Weasley, but if it's the lady's plea-"

"BLACKMAIL?!" She screeched, shoving away from him and staring as though he had grew another head. She wouldn't even touch his last ridiculous theory. "You think I'm blackmailing you?" Draco raised one eyebrow, cocking his head as though he were studying a foreign object.

"Why else haven't you told anyone about yesterday?" He asked, as though it made perfect sense. "Look, I know that Father never gives into blackmailers, but I figure-"

"Stop right there, Malfoy. I am NOT going to blackmail you, regardless of how much you might enjoy it. All I want is for you to stay away from me and for both of us to forget yesterday ever happened." She turned towards the door, ignoring his sneer.

"You say that now, Weasley, but just you wait! You'll be begging to blackmail me!" He stated. Ginny turned back to him, torn between amazement and laughter.

"You are insane, Malfoy. Completely and utterly insane." Ginny walked out of the room, still grinning at the incongruity of the conversation.

"So I can't kill Longbottom?"

"NO!!" She bellowed, slamming the door in his face.

When the door was closed Draco leaned against it, a confused look on his face.

"What in the hell is happening to me?"

**************

If it had been anyone other than Malfoy, Ginny thought with a befuddled smile, I would have sworn he was flirting! She slipped into one of the back seats of History of Magic, grateful that this teacher never took tardies. Oh, great... could it be he was affected as well? He never showed it... yet if anyone could control the effects of a love potion it would be Mister Cold-blooded Malfoy.

Ginny had never seen Draco act with fist when words would work. He was the complete antithesis of her brothers, Ron, especially. No wonder the two hated each other so much.

"Miss Weasley? Miss Weasley! Class is over, you may leave now." She looked up to find the ghost professor and she were the only ones remaining in the room. Grabbing her books she smiled sheepishly and ran out of the classroom. She really had to watch herself from here on, it seemed the effects of the potion were getting worse rather than better.

The smartest thing to do was avoid Draco at all costs. And the easiest way to do that? Yep, Harry Potter playing in the role of Hero yet again, but this time he would never have a clue.

***************

When lunch came around Draco didn't even bother asking himself why the redhead's staring at Potter pissed him off, he just knew that it did. When she walked out directly on Potters heels like a well-beaten pup he had had enough. He slammed his napkin to the table and forced himself to saunter towards the group of Potter's lackies.

Harry looked up to see Malfoy heading directly toward him and automatically pulled out his wand. Only to stare in amazement as the blonde walked past him as though he weren't even there.

Draco stopped directly in front of Ginny, who appeared to be inspecting her shoes. He reached down, gently but forcibly pulling her chin up so he could see her neck. Ron lunged forward only to be held by three or four other Gryffindors, including Harry and Hermione.

"Get away from my sister, Malfoy!" Ron bellowed. Draco sneered at him, still not releasing his grasp on Ginny.

"Don't worry, Weasel. I was just checking to see if her leash was tight enough. Wouldn't want Potter's little pet getting loose, now would we?" He finally let go, ignoring Ron's cursing and Ginny's gasp of pain. With one last glare at the group, Draco turned on his heel and sauntered away.

Hermione hugged the small redhead to her, glaring after Draco's retreating back. "Don't mind him, Virginia. He was born without a heart." Ginny nodded silently, hiding her face against Hermione's robes. Life would be much easier if that were only true... But, if Harry doesn't work, then what will?

That question was to haunt her for the rest of the day. Draco Malfoy was not one to give up easily, once he had made a decision, and the fact that he had felt something for her was obvious, why else would the frozen boy make such a scene at lunch when it had no effect on Potter whatsoever? Ginny sighed, resting her forehead on her palm. Draco didn't know what had happened, and it probably wouldn't matter if the potion was taking as strong a hold on him as it was her. She needed to find a way to reverse it... Before she stopped wanting to. That thought alone was enough to send her running to the library.

************

She was the only student in the library, poring over a great tome of a book with a frustrated look on her face. The librarian was snoring softly at her desk far away, leaving the small redhead defenseless. A predatory smile lit the blonde's face as he moved in for the kill.

"Hello, Weasley." The familiar drawl gently touched her ear, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand. "Where's scarhead?" Draco asked, dropping lightly onto the chair next to her, crowding her slightly.

"I thought I told you to stay away Malfoy."

"What? And if I don't you'll tell?" She nodded mutely, her eyes widening as he began to smile. "You see, I've been thinking about that... And I've come to believe that if it does get out your reputation will suffer much more than mine. You, me, naked in an abandoned girls restroom..." He let the words trail off, his fingers delicately tracing the line of her neck.

"You were the only one naked, Malfoy! And you know it!" His smile widened into a grin.

"Now, now, who's going to believe that? What with you keeping quiet about it for so long it makes you look guilty. People will automatically assume that you and I... well, you know." He drawled out the last sentence, making his insinuation blatantly clear and Ginny blush.

"I-I didn't want to tell you this, Malfoy, but if I don't you're really going to hate your-" Ginny stopped, distracted at the feel of him nuzzling her neck. She shoved him away, gasping for breath. "You know, when you came into the girls restroom yesterday? I was covered in pink stuff, right?" He nodded absently, already trying to get closer again. "Well... That was a love potion."

Draco jerked away, staring at her in shock. "I was going to use it on Harry, but I added too much Bicorn powder and..."

"The whole thing exploded in your face." He finished coldly, shoving away from her and running a hand through his hair. "I should have figured. I mean, why else would I start obsessing over a muggle-loving Weasel?" He ignored her offended look, focusing on the books she had abandoned. "What was the potion called?" He demanded, refusing to look at her.

"I-I don't remember. I found it in this book-" He raised one hand, cutting off her stuttered explanation.

"Go get the book."

Ginny nodded, running out of the library as though the spawn of hell were after her. Draco smirked wryly. The imagery wasn't that far off. And to think, he had even offered to kill for her! Of course, they had both been people that irritated him, but still! It was the thought that counted, right? (A/N: Draco has issues^_^)

He glared down at the useless books, shoving his hand through his perfect hair. It figured the one time he felt something other than rage and contempt would be because of some stupid potion. The worst part about it was that even though he knew, his heart still gave a slight jerk as she walked back into the room.

"I-I couldn't find it... I thought I put it in my trunk, but it's... not there." She wrung her hands together, clearly distraught.

"Does anyone else know about the book?" He asked, forcing down the unfamiliar urge to comfort.

"No! Nobody!" She replied then thought for a second. "No one except Myrtle. She was in the restroom that day." They stared at each other, then jumped up and ran out the door. The breeze from their passing was enough to wake the librarian.

"NO runn- ahh... to be young once more." She sighed, going back to sleep.

*************

"Myrtle!"

"Myrtle come out here right now!" Draco demanded, earning a glare from Ginny.

"Now she'll never come out!" She groaned. Draco smirked at her, pointing to the ghost behind her.

"I knew you would come back. I've got your book and I won't give it back until you say you're sorry!"

"Sorry for what? You're the one who spied on my bath!" Draco replied caustically. Myrtle glowered at both of them through her large turtle shell glasses.

"You shouldn't have ignored me! Everyone ignores me!" She cried. Ginny glared at Draco then gave Myrtle a sympathetic look.

"Myrtle, I know how you feel, and we are both REALLY sorry, sorrier than you know, even. Could we please have the book back?" Myrtle nodded, pointing towards one of the stalls. Ginny raced in, flipping through the pages. She stopped on one, reading furiously.

Draco jumped as she gave a small shriek and dropped to the ground with a thump. She sat, leaning against the wall of the commode, laughing hysterically. "Oh this is too good, this is bloody fantabulous." She stated sarcastically then buried her head in her arms.

"What?" He asked, taking the book from her limp hand. He looked the page over slowly, a slight smirk as he read the small writing at the bottom.

Must be taken orally to be effective.

With a choked laugh he dropped down beside her, draping his arm over her shoulder companionably. "Guess you won't have to hide behind Potter anymore." He stated, smirking as she began to giggle.

"He wouldn't notice if I had an 'I Love Harry' sweater that flashed different colors."

"But I would." He leaned over, kissing her lightly. "You do know we have to come up with a new reason, don't you?"

"Reason for what?"

"For you to blackmail me, of course." He grinned as she rolled her eyes.

"You, Draco Malfoy, are completely and utterly insane."

The End.