In a twilight universe……
WHAT WOULD THE CHARACTERS OF HARRY POTTER BE DOING?
Harry James Potter……
Harry is famous throughout the world. He is the infamous, lager lout cousin of the incredible Dudley Dursley, who is known and revered for defeating many a bad man.
Ron Weasley…..
Is the Prime Minister of England, with several posh houses, and serious plans for world domination through a heavy campaign of using clever catch phrases to ensnare the voters, for example, 'that was bloody brilliant'.
Hermione Granger……
Rebelled against the Hogwarts school system and achieved the lowest exam results in the schools history. She has become a trashy journalist and shares a flat in Brighton with a man called Bryan, writing the popular anarchist book 'Hogwarts: who cares?'
Severus Snape……
Has just signed a five year contract with loreal to advertise shampoo. He is known across the globe for flipping his raven locks across the TV screen, and sneering at the public 'I'm worth it'
Voldemort…..
Became the most popular character on Sesame street. However, since nobody under the age of five could pronounce his name, he branched out to start his own young peoples show 'shhh, its you know who'.
Remus Lupin……
Lives in the zoo, deciding that, instead of facing another year of teaching Hogwarts Delinquents, he would rather become a wolf full time
Sirius Black…….
Took over Azkaban with his incredible skills and charisma, and has since turned it into a fun park, 'Azka Bang; the happiest place on earth'. He has a subscription to the zoo, and has adopted Remus as his chosen animal.
Hagrid……..
Is a qualified genius, with a certificate to prove it. He is a pioneer of biological science, being most famous for his cross breeding of a hippogriff with a dragon. He is in the middle of a holiday advertising campaign, flaunting the slogan 'a hippodragon is for life, not just for killing your enemies'.
Peter Pettigrew……..
Became one of the more unfortunate victims of Hagrid's experimentation. The only thing left of him is his fingers.
Draco Malfoy…….
Is a gay drug lord, and is the person in the world that gets most hits for people to see naked pictures of. He's writing a book about it at the moment, entitled 'you can never be as good as me, but you can try'.
DISCLAIMER: It's Rowlings characters I've just butchered, sorry!!
WHAT WOULD THE CHARACTERS OF HARRY POTTER BE DOING?
Harry James Potter……
Harry is famous throughout the world. He is the infamous, lager lout cousin of the incredible Dudley Dursley, who is known and revered for defeating many a bad man.
Ron Weasley…..
Is the Prime Minister of England, with several posh houses, and serious plans for world domination through a heavy campaign of using clever catch phrases to ensnare the voters, for example, 'that was bloody brilliant'.
Hermione Granger……
Rebelled against the Hogwarts school system and achieved the lowest exam results in the schools history. She has become a trashy journalist and shares a flat in Brighton with a man called Bryan, writing the popular anarchist book 'Hogwarts: who cares?'
Severus Snape……
Has just signed a five year contract with loreal to advertise shampoo. He is known across the globe for flipping his raven locks across the TV screen, and sneering at the public 'I'm worth it'
Voldemort…..
Became the most popular character on Sesame street. However, since nobody under the age of five could pronounce his name, he branched out to start his own young peoples show 'shhh, its you know who'.
Remus Lupin……
Lives in the zoo, deciding that, instead of facing another year of teaching Hogwarts Delinquents, he would rather become a wolf full time
Sirius Black…….
Took over Azkaban with his incredible skills and charisma, and has since turned it into a fun park, 'Azka Bang; the happiest place on earth'. He has a subscription to the zoo, and has adopted Remus as his chosen animal.
Hagrid……..
Is a qualified genius, with a certificate to prove it. He is a pioneer of biological science, being most famous for his cross breeding of a hippogriff with a dragon. He is in the middle of a holiday advertising campaign, flaunting the slogan 'a hippodragon is for life, not just for killing your enemies'.
Peter Pettigrew……..
Became one of the more unfortunate victims of Hagrid's experimentation. The only thing left of him is his fingers.
Draco Malfoy…….
Is a gay drug lord, and is the person in the world that gets most hits for people to see naked pictures of. He's writing a book about it at the moment, entitled 'you can never be as good as me, but you can try'.
DISCLAIMER: It's Rowlings characters I've just butchered, sorry!!