The Life of Cinderella (a parody)
Cast:
Cinderella~ Drew Barymore
Cinderella's brother (Marco)~ Erik von Detten
Evil Step-Mother~ Maggy Smith
Evil Step-Sister1~ Julia Roberts
Evil Step-Sister2~ Angelina Jolee
Cinderella's father~ Gene Hackman
Prince~ Heath Ledger (blond)
King~ Hagrid in "Harry Potter"
Queen~ Whoopy Goldburg
Mice~ lab mouse 1, 2, and 3
Fairy Godperson~ Danny Devito
Director~ Me
Propmaster~ Jessie
Animal Trainer~ Margaret
Lost Tourist~ Katie
Producer~ Lucas
Stunt Double~ Kyle
Script Supervisor~ Jill
Scene 1:
Camera panns in on Cinderella's stable next to her house. In it you see Cinderella
sleeping in the loft. When suddenly she wakes to the sound of hooves clonking
downstairs. She rushes down to the ladder, past the stalls and goes outside to see what's
going on.
Cinderella- What on Earth?! Don't you know were doing a movie here?
Animal Trainer- OOps, Sorry! I was just practicing for a big stunt in Scene 3, you know
with the racing horses? Buster really needs the training if he's going to be able to
perform under pressure.
Cinderella- Okay, whatever. Would you just go away while we shoot this scene?
Animal Trainer- Fine! But don't you blame me if anything goes wrong. I mean I tried to
help Buster, but no...(walks off in a huff)
Cinderella- Propmaster? Where's the storybook, you know the one we use to open and
start the story?
PM- The storybook? Oh *&%$#! Wait what do you think boxes are for?
Cinderella- Sure whatever floats your boat. After all, it's not my salorie that's going to be
docked, on the contrary, it might even be boosted for all the crap I have to put up with.
Payroll- Yeah right! Dream on Drew! (they all point and laugh)
Director- Let's get a move on roll the credits, so that I can see Erik's name and swoon.
(sees Erik's name and... well swoons while the rest of the female audience swoons and
gawks about Heath Ledger, oh well I guess the cast is too bad for the guys looking for
heart throbs)
Narrorator...er...Bob- A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... (SFX: Star Wars Episode
1 music rolls) There lived a young girl with her father, a widower, the old man didn't
particularly care about the girl's interests, after all why else would he marry the evilest
old fart in the universe? Geez... her name is after all the evil step-mother. How more
plain can that be? When he made sure his children's libes would be miserable he died.
Father- I'm not quite dead yet!
Bob- Well this "Father" suffers from a tragic fatal wounding.
Father- I'm getting better
Bob- (yells at father) No your not! You'll be stone dead in a moment!
F- I think I'll go for a walk! I feel happy!...
Then the narrorator grabs a nearby samuri sword and prepares to behead the trecherous
father when all of a sudden he finds he beheaded the stunt double instead who was
wearing a fake Gene Hackman head so that no one was harmed.
Audience- Awww!
Bob clears his throat and prepares to continue.
Bob- Um...well then the ugly step-family seize control of everything...
Sisters- Hey! Who are you calling ugly!
Bob- ...but Cinderella and her brother were made to be slaves, with Cinderella in charge.
Director- They weren't as nice to Cinderella's brother because he was so good looking
they were jelouse...(she yells as she gets dragged off the stage, and the story continues)
Bob- Life on the ...uh...Steele farm was dark and dismal until the year of Cinderella's
brother's (Marco) 19th birthday.
SFX: Tweet tweet tweet tweet urgh?! Cough! Weez plop.
Lab mice enter, and push a button which releases the spring loaded coil under
Cinderella's matress springing her right... into the person who walked into the room at
that tragic time.
Stunt Double- Oops!
Lost Tourist- It's okay! I do my own stunts. So... where do you keep your chainsaws?
And do you happen to have a goalie mask too? I outgrew my old one!
Producer- Alrighty then people, we've changed some plans. We were lucky enough to
have Godzilla audition. I think we can add him in as one of Cinderella's relatives. I'm
excited to be working with him.
Godzilla- Grrr... (eats lighting guy)
Producer- I'll get another one don't worry. If any of you know any electrician tell them
there's a position available keep up the good work everybody!
Stunt double nearly escapes death as Godzilla lunges toward the doughnut stand
Lost Tourist- Oooh! After I spent two years in jail, I tried to get a job as an electrician!...
but then they found out why I was in jail...
Producer- Um... thanks, but I think my sister's husband is an electrician.
The lost tourist heads up the ladder towards the lights anyways, knocking the ladder over
as she steps off. The fifteen foot ladder falls on the stunt double.
SD- Boy these Canadians are violent!
CAUTION: TOURIST IS NOT A CANADIAN! I REPEAT NOT A CANADIAN!
(tourist runs around waving a flag with a crossed out maple leaf and the words "Invade
Canada" written on it)
Director- Hey! Where'd my story go?
Producer- Your story...excuse me?
Lost tourist attempts to kill the producer, but failed when Godzilla broke another set of
lights.
Producer- Alrighty then everybody, because of my attempted murder I have gained a new
outlook on life and therefor I'm going to change this story to reflect my life. I want to
express myself more.
(cast groans, Godzilla growls, chainsaw revs up)
SFX: Chainsaw
LT- takes running leap at producer, but falls down stairs.
Producer- Okay, so now instead of the princess trying the shoe on her foot, she takes it
and brutally stabbs the prince. Much like my first girfriend (smiles) And then...
(interrupted by Godzilla who gets pissed off because he is sick of listening to him)
Random Announcer- We're sorry. But we interrupt this filming with an important
announcement.
New added Cast:
Stund Double 2: Jackie Chan
Animal 1: Bambi
Animal 2: Mr Ed
Animal 3: Blood sucking Rabbit
Group of animals: Antelope, wildabeasts, zebra.
Animal Trainer- No animals were harmed in the filming of this movie...well, uh except
for maybe all of them. Well you know we can't have a little white blood sucking rabbit
loose on the set... something might happen. What if he gets rabies? (starts to
hyperventalate) Ah ah um, I , I gotta go now. What kind of movie is this!?? (stutters to
a stop. Suddenly runs for dear life screamming uninteligibly.)
Scene 2:
Cinderella- Excuse me, but this is supposed to be my story! Now, let's get on with it...all
right. Places! Take 1!
Cinderella's accident caused her leg to break so Mr. Ed had to play her part as an
understudy.
Cindered- It's a beautiful ddaaaaaay!
Rest of Cast- (sings) yaaay! Don't let it get away! (stops abruptly when LT revs up
chainsaw and Lab mice are in Jeapordy)
Cindered- Now I hav to be a slave and clean up after my icky family.
Marco- You mean now you have to supervise while I clean up.
Cindered- Oh, yeah!
Godzilla gets boared and gets in a duel with the killer rabbit until they are both
chainsawed down by the lost tourist. Bambi shrieks because of the violence and runs out
into the road where he freezes... well like a dear in the headlights.
Note- Animals were harmed during the filming of this movie.
Audience cheers
Bob- Cindered and her unsurpassingly gorgeous brother with his strenghth of 10 average
mean and lean, yet muscular upper body which can make grown women crumble even
when he.. wait a second I don't remember this in the script.
Director giggles and runs straight into a stray wilda beast who gored her as she ran by.
Only it wasn't the director, it was the stunt double who was promptly rushed to the
hospital.
In the hall of the palace the prince and his parents were talking.
Prince- Mom, Dad, just let me do this on my own tonight, please don't embarass me!
King- No worries there kid, we won't bug you a bit!
Meanwhile back in Cinderella's house
Hospital- Cinderella's better she can be back in the story.
Bob- Back at Cinderella's house...
Jackie Chan- Peoples of our fair city, the King has called a formal ball for the marrage of
his son. Food will be provided, there may or may not be a mosh pit, the attire is formal.
Men can bring dates.
Sisters- That's wicked cool!
Anastasia- Wait I don't have a thing to wear! Cinderella do all my laundry!
Drisella- I don't know what the latest fasions are! Marco go out and buy all the
magazines at the closest newsstand!
A- My makeup is running out Marco create a new shade of eyeshadow for my eyes!
D- Cinderella find me a pair of fishnet tights!
A- Marco find my fake eyelashes!
Both sisters- NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marco and Cinderella look at each other and come to a consensus! They wisper to the
LT who nodds and smiles, then walks away.
Anistasia- Don't forget the cucumber slices!
Drisella- Get back early and prepare me for my pedicure.
Sisters- HURRY UP...
Lost tourist- Oops! (she says as she climbs down the fifteen foot ladder from the lighting
where one light is now missing from the scene after being mysteriously cut with a
chainsaw)
Special Announcement: There will no longer be evil step-sisters in our story of
Cinderella.
Directer- Weez! (falls over and passes out)
Cinderella tries to get ready, but she has no elegant clothes and all of her sister's clothes
were obviously made for anorexics, so they didn't fit her. She goes out to the yard and
tries to beat up a palm tree.
Fairy Godperson- Why are you harming the environment?
Cinderella- Who are you?
FG- I am the traveling wish department aka Fairy...
C- Godmother.
FG- Do I look like a woman? I'm a Godperson. You people nowadays... you are so...
sexist!
C- Yeah right whatever.
FG- I can give you some happenin' threads... if you want.
C- What time are you from? No one speaks like that anymore!
FG- Do you want my help or not?
C- Yes, assistance please!
FG- First I will give you cool clothes
Takes septor from his pocket and starts to conjure...Cinderella looks down at herself to
see that she is wearing a leather mid sectioned turquoise top with a thick turquoise collar
and three-quarter sleeves a heavely jeweled belt and cool black flares with embroidered
hems, along with sparkling glass sandles.
C- Isn't it supposed to be white?
FG- *snorts* White??!?!? *scoffs* Yeah right...Oh my gosh... that was so last season!
C- Okay (notices Marco)
M- Uh guys! I think we have a problem... nice outfit sis!... that white stuff you wanted to
wear before makes you look...well... kinda sick.
C- (sarcastic) Gee... thanks!
M- Hurry! Follow Me!
Cinderella and Marco rush onto sound stage two where the director lays... priest is giving
her the last rights.
M- Uh... what should we do, she doesn't look dead.
C- Kiss her!
M- What will that do? (Looks very confused)
C- What you've never seen "Snow White" "Sleeping Beauty" etc.?
M- But this isn't a fairy tale!
Cast and Crew nod in agreement.
C- *exasperated* JUST TRY IT!!!
Marco leans in and kisses director when she promptly sputters and coughs out the
lightbulb that had lodged in her throat. It hits the priest in the ear.
Director- That was wierd... what happened? (Cast shrugs)
Marco- So... uh Asian girl you want to go to the ball with me?
D- You mean we've gotten to that part?
M- Barely.
Stunt Double- (bored) What a bunch of Canadians!
Lost tourist gets agrivated at the mention of Canada, and kills the Stunt Double...
sucessfully with her chainsaw... very painfully... and celebrates by waving the "Invade
Canada" Flag.
*Cast Cheers along with audience*
Cinderella- What about me?
LT- (sings) You're so vain! You probably think this story is about you... don't you?
Twenty min. later at the palace, guests arrive. The first girl came in, unfortunately she
was incredibly ugly. She went over and expected the prince to kiss her hand, to welcome
her, but he refused.
Prince- What? Bad makeup job?
She looks at him in disgust and stalks away
Queen- That wasn't very princely. Honey be a little nicer to the less fortunate.
Prince- I'll try.
The next girl comes in, she is slightly pretty, the prince yawns, shakes her hand, and
twirls her away.
Prince- When are the hot girls gonna get here?
The queen sighs and looks frustrated.
Animal Trainer- HOLD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I worked with Buster, Dandy, Peaches, and Sasha
for days. Hello! You forgot the carrage ride, I'm so insulted! Let's go back, don't waste
my time. Okay. Take 403!
AT- Cinderella walks out to see the Fairy person transforming the lab mice into four
beautiful snowy true white lipizzan horses with flowing tails and manes that glisten in the
moonlight. Their beauty was unsurpassable.
C- *clears throat* Uhhum!
AT- Oh, Cinderella steps into the glowing white carrage, yadda yadda yadda. The driver
clucks to the horses, and they start off at a floating trot that makes them appear to be
flying towards the castle. The beautiful horses neigh with delight at running and toss
their beautiful shaped heads.
Mulder and Scully walk onto set...
M- We are aware that you are harboring one Godzilla here.
Producer- Yep, one... are there two?
S- No sir... That's just the way important people talk.
M- Please turn him over.
Director and Cast- But he's so cute, and he just got reincarnated... can we keep him?
Godzilla gives "puppy eyes"
Audience- Ahhhhh... So Cute!!!
Producer- Alrighty people, Godzilla stays... along with this cute furry purple fuzzy animal
I found in the woods.
Script supervisor reaches down to pet the purple fuzzy creature and it bites off her hand
and scratches out her eyes.
Audience- Sweet!!!
Producer- (smiles) Ah, the little guy's hungry. Will I'll go have the people in payroll
contact our hiring department and get a script supervisor that can see. (changes "days
without injury" sign from one back down to zero.) Keep up the good work. See ya.
AT- Now listen Stardust. You have to save the prince from marrying Cinderella. He
can't marry her. Got it? Distract him until I get to the ball. Good girl. Now off you go.
Animal trainer goes to costume department and "borrows" the most beautiful dress there.
It fits perfectly and is practical. She goes outside and gets on her horse Lady. Then she
gallops off to the palace.
At the Palace.
Girl after girl is presented to the prince, but he has not seen a single one that likes him for
who he is. He starts to dream about what had happened in the summer.
The Prince's Dream:
Setting- set of "A Knight's Tale" After filming, still in armor. Prince is his leading horse
into his barn.
AT- Hello are you bringing Dandy back to be groomed?
Prince looks up and stares "Yes... my lady."
AT- You don't have to call me "My lady" (blushes) I'm just an animal trainer. And your
riding Dandy. I trained him myself. Just call me Margaret.
Prince- You like horses?
AT- Yes, they are the most wonderful animals in the world! (she leads Dandy to his stall
as the prince follows)
P- You have trained Dandy well.... (they keep to talk about horses and training animals)
Back at the Palace- Cinderella enters to a fanfare prince looks up. Cinderella floats down
stairs and starts to approach him. Suddenly (Stampede SFX) Cinderella is trampled by a
heard of antelope, wildabeast, and zebra.
The ballroom is silent and then the LT races through with her new 2002 improved
chainsaw.
LT- Ya know, I never was really lost. (cackles and reves up chainsaw, and accidentally
steps on Cinderella's head)
Ambulance races in, picks up Cinderella. And as it races away a huge green paw grabs
the ambulance, and eats it. (SFX- crunching metal and screams)
Director has her arms around Cinderella's brother... slow dancing.
D- Hmm.... I like that lost tourist she's my hero! I want to be JUST LIKE HER!!!!
She kisses Marco and rushes to the refreshment table, grabbs a spoon and starts running
around stabbing people with it (this is no joke a historic spoon belonging to the Hulta was
sharpened, just in case there was a battle and they were eating)
(SFX trumpets) The AT enters and all eyes are on her. She walks down the stairs and
towards the Prince. All the other girls are jealouse and try to grab his attention.
Girl 1- Will you dance with me? Please!
Girl 2- Look at me when I speak to you bub!
Girl 3- Hello! PAY Attention to US!!!!
But the prince had eyes only for the Animal trainer. He broke through the crowd of girls
and walked towards her they meet in the middle of the hall.
P- Would you like to dance?
AT- I would be delighted!
They start dancing as everyone watches envious... except for the Director and Marco
smooching contently.
P- Have we met before?
AT- Yes once...Do you remember?
P- Yes, you trained Dandy for "A Knight's Tale." When you entered the room lit up. Will
you stay with me?
AT- Yes I believe I will.
They dance out onto the balcony were the moon is high. The Prince puts his arms around
her waist and...
Sorry the camera suddenly shut off, we do not know this part of the story. Story will
continue later in five... four... three... two... one... Action! Take 501!
The director races through the ballroom stabbing people with her sharpened spoon. Her
boyfriend, Cinderella's brother runs after her trying to helf her with a spork. Screaming
people run out to the balcony looking for an escape. The Prince and the Animal Trainer
leap from the balcony to land onto the backs of two matching pearly white Arabians and
gallop away into the night
Cindered- (wheeles by in wheelchair) No Prince... wait darling (follows them into the
sunset)
Later outside of the palace Godzilla has been cornered by Bambi with the LT. Bambi is
holding a chainsaw repair kit. LT holds a new 2002 Really Super and Very Improved
Chainsaw which is brand spankin' new.
Godzilla whimpers and trys to climb the wall, but can't because he has caught his foot.
Bambi- You may have killed me in "Bambi meats Godzilla" but now I've been
reincarnated by my friend the Animal trainer. Now you will pay!!!! (SFX- reved up
chainsaw, wicked laughter.) The LT is gonna help me.
Bambi lunges at Godzilla they fall and roll in the dust beating on each other. Godzilla
rolls into the support beam for the building. As Godzilla moves the building starts to fall.
Bambi and the LT race for the door. (SFX- crash, rumble of collapsing building) As the
dust clears Ambulences and fire engines rush in. One lone figure comes from the dust
and rubble.
LT- I didn't really want to work for a fuzzy cute deer.
A memorial was made on the spot of the tragic deaths of the the two Hollywood stars.
And now everyone leaves flowers and letter remembering the two wonderful actors.
Scene 3
After the ball the AT, P and Cindered are missing. Everyone is frustrated because they
can't do anything.
Script Supervisor- Where the heck are they! We don't get paid for doing nothing. What
was the AT thinking she she abducted the Prince?!? The idiot! Why did she...ugh...
Suddenly she was attacked by the reincarnated little white blood sucking rabbit. (SFX-
eee eee eee) She dies slowly and painfully.
Director- Seems like that rabbit doesn't like it's friend dissed.
Rabbit nodds with blood dripping down his fangs.
D- So I suggest that no one insult the AT and her guy. But you really should find them so
we can finish filming let's go!
As the cast start looking they head out to the enchanted forest on "The quest to finish the
Story." Yet since this forest is magical not many people can get through the forest...
unscathed.
At different parts of the forest different cast members try to fing the AT, P and Cindered.
The lost tourist revs up her chainsaw and cuts down ALL the vegetation in her way. In
other words in certain area's it is now called "The Enchanted Plain." The blood sucking
rabbit couldn't get through about ten feet at a time because the forest caused him to
change shape from the blood sucking ardvark, to the blood sucking chipmunk, to the
blood sucking kangaroo, all the way to the blood sucking zebra. The director got half the
way to the P, AT and C but stopped when she saw her first dragon and tried to fit a leash
on it to bring it home with her. The Producer never even made it into the forest because
he was marveling on the romance going and the void of romance in his tragic life. The
Propmaster who has been forgotten since scene 1 conversed with the also forgotten
labmice and thought of a purely scientific way to get into the forest... a hovercraft.
Producer's voice rings out- Alrighty people, we've lost half of the cast but... not to brag of
course, I am such a gifted actor I think I can take the prince's place, no need to thank me.
Everybody in Unison- Oh don't worry... we won't!
The Cast continues to look for the AT, P and C, for three hours. After climbing the cliffs
of insanity the propmaster beginds up the steps up Repunzle's tower. Propmaster opens
the door to find the prince tied up to a chair, Cindered's dead body on the floor, and the
AT gone. She spends five min. trying to find a scientific answer to this mystery (she
thought that the AT killed Cindered and tied up the Prince... but who knows in this
wacked up story) The PM hears the sound of a chainsaw in the distance. It grows louder
and louder. Suddenly, it flies through the door.
Prince- (still tied up) Dude, the LT is awesome! She rocks! *thinks* I bet she plays the
bass guitar! (she does)
The LT slices through the ropes with her nimbus 3,000 chainsaw!
LT- I love Led Zeppelin! Come on! We have to catch the AT before she let's all the
horses free all over the US!
The LT looks at her watch and screams! Runs off the set. The Prince gazes after her
fondly, and then shrugs and sets off, he gathers the PM, blood sucking squirrel, Marco,
Producer and finally the director with her new found dragon.
Producer- Awww... It's a cute widdle dragon, HE'S MINE!!!!!!!
Director- LAY OF DILBERT!!!!! HE'S MY CUTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PM pauses and starts to think, then starts to measure the dragon and mumble to herself.
"Yes, yes, this could work!"
CandC- What tell us NOW!!!!
PM- We can all ride on.... erm... Dilbert to find the AT!
CandC- Let's do it!!!
The cast and crew get on Dilbert with little trouble except when he flies over Kansas the
evil step-mother falls off. And that's where the wicked witch of the west comes from.
On the dragon the director marvels about how all the girls love the prince, and the prince
loves all the girls... but the director and Erik von Detten shall be together FOREVER!!!
Half and hour later...
Director- look horse footprints... we're close!
They followed the tracks for twenty min. they went off to search for the AT when they
stumbled onto the LT in her sister's wedding. They had arrived at Kirkland Church of the
Nazarene just in time to see the LT in A DRESS!!!! They started cracking up! Then the
LT saw them and began to pull metal objects out of her "purse" and slowly assembled
them. The cast and crew scream in terror as they realize she had rebuilt her Nimbus
3,000 that she got last Christmas, quickly the laughter stopped as the LT leaped through
the glass panel to chase after the cast and crew.
SFX- chainsaw revs up.
As they are running they tumble over a wiggling bundle, and they realize that it's the AT!
They quickly untie her and listen intently to her epic tale.
AT- Cindered framed me!!!! He cornered the prince and I then he conked out the Prince,
who now has amnesia...
P- Who's the Prince... and you are? Whom? You're kinda pretty though!
AT- See! He killed Jackie Chan... the second stunt double and enchanted him to look
just like his mirror immage, then he transformed himself and left. But he did it behind
my back so I couldn't see him, but I do know he hasn't left the room yet.
The cast and crew eye each other accusingly and notice something compelling... there are
two lost tourists who look the same... but which is which?
Dun Dun Dun! (SFX)
Cast/Crew look from one to the other. How can they tell which is the Cindered.
AT: Oh! I know. There is one way to find out who the real LT is. "She whispers to a cast
member who whispers it to the others.
Suddenly, FG appears "Okay, I'm back from my lovely vacation in wonderful and beautiful
CANADA."
Cast/Crew gasps. One LT lunges at FG's throat while the other LT says "Canadas seems
nice." Cast lunges at Cindered. They tie him up and try to get LT away from FG
FG: "I *gasp* don't *gasp* really like Canada. I only said it to find out who Cindered
was."
LT: Lets go "Okay, but if you say that again it's your problem"
AT: "See, my idea worked perfectly"
Director- Let's get on Dilbert, ride home and finally finish our story
Random Local- What are you going on aboot?
LT starts twitching
Another Random Local- Having some problems eh?
LT screams and revs up chainsaw
Dilbert- Est-ce que voux dois a travailler et jou avec des personnes a la studio eh?
LT runs at Dilbert with chainsaw
Director- No! *Mixed emothions first at learning that Dilbert was Canadian, and second
by she was scared by the thought of loosing him to the LT*
Prop Master- The scientific explanation for this amazing phenominon is obviously that
Dilbert, that he's a.....
FG-French Canadian and we're all stuck in CANADA!
LT forgets Dilbert and flies at the FG screaming "I warned you!"
SFX: Chainsaw + screaming "I'm sorry!"
Special Announcement! THere will no longer be a fairy godperson in our version of
Cinderella
Audience Cheers!
LT- Get me outta here! I gotta leave this wreched country NOW!!!!!
She runs out into the road and starts threatening Canadians in cars and forcing them
out so that she can... save... her new cast and crew friends. Finally she saw a bus and
leaped for joy~ She royally freaked out the driver and passengers with the chainsaw
until it was empty. She stole the bus, the cast+crew jumped aboard and the LT drove
like there was no tomorrow. As they crossed the border they heard the song
"Oh, Canada!" Which provoked the LT further.
LT- YAAAH! STUPID CANADIANS!
As she thinks he aims the bus carefully at the ferry dock and makes the bus airborne!
LT- Jump out!
As everyone jumps out of the bus and land softly on the stunt pad below they see the
bus flying overhead into the radio speaker generating that awful music.
Audience- Wicked awesome
Both the bus and the speaker explode and the Cast and crew head home onto american
ground. Since the border guards were running around because of the explosion the cast
and crew had no problems crossing the border.
LT- *Breathes a sigh of relief*
After safely returning from Canada, the Cast and crew decided to have an American pary
at the studio. It was going great...
Producer: I love these chips! What flavor are they?
LT- Coconut
Producer quickly runs toward the bathroom covering his mouth
Suddenly an axe flies through the studio door and the owner says "Anybody have any food!
Oooh, coconut Chips, my favorite!"
Axe boy dibes into the chip bowl.
LT: "Hey, look! It's my brother... the hungry tourist."
Cast and crew whisper: "Lost tourist has a brother?"
Prince whispers to AT: I wonder if he hates Canada too...
Hungry Tourist tweaks out at the sound of the word 'Canada' He flies towards Prince, LT
discovers her true feelings for the cast and runs after HT screaming "Noooo"
LT successfully guides HT away from prince but the axe accidentally sliced through the
single support beam causing the building to collapse killing everyone. In the distance
the sound of a chainsaw was heard.
5 years later
The Seattle Times Obituary
2 young writers found dead!
written by Judy S.
Late one tragic cloudy Kirkland night two yourn screen writers were found dead in their
old apartment. This would have been an ordinary case, but the both seemed to have
died... of fright? Not too long after these two had submitted "Cinderella (a parody)"
onto the internet they died, but not before writing a note saying... "Help us! I hear
a chainsaw!" they were going to send it to a friend we presume, but aperantly it didn't
make it. In honor of their death we will post the story here. Cast ....
(and that's as far as our dear writer got befor she was mysteriously killed by a chainsaw
kille....)
Cast:
Cinderella~ Drew Barymore
Cinderella's brother (Marco)~ Erik von Detten
Evil Step-Mother~ Maggy Smith
Evil Step-Sister1~ Julia Roberts
Evil Step-Sister2~ Angelina Jolee
Cinderella's father~ Gene Hackman
Prince~ Heath Ledger (blond)
King~ Hagrid in "Harry Potter"
Queen~ Whoopy Goldburg
Mice~ lab mouse 1, 2, and 3
Fairy Godperson~ Danny Devito
Director~ Me
Propmaster~ Jessie
Animal Trainer~ Margaret
Lost Tourist~ Katie
Producer~ Lucas
Stunt Double~ Kyle
Script Supervisor~ Jill
Scene 1:
Camera panns in on Cinderella's stable next to her house. In it you see Cinderella
sleeping in the loft. When suddenly she wakes to the sound of hooves clonking
downstairs. She rushes down to the ladder, past the stalls and goes outside to see what's
going on.
Cinderella- What on Earth?! Don't you know were doing a movie here?
Animal Trainer- OOps, Sorry! I was just practicing for a big stunt in Scene 3, you know
with the racing horses? Buster really needs the training if he's going to be able to
perform under pressure.
Cinderella- Okay, whatever. Would you just go away while we shoot this scene?
Animal Trainer- Fine! But don't you blame me if anything goes wrong. I mean I tried to
help Buster, but no...(walks off in a huff)
Cinderella- Propmaster? Where's the storybook, you know the one we use to open and
start the story?
PM- The storybook? Oh *&%$#! Wait what do you think boxes are for?
Cinderella- Sure whatever floats your boat. After all, it's not my salorie that's going to be
docked, on the contrary, it might even be boosted for all the crap I have to put up with.
Payroll- Yeah right! Dream on Drew! (they all point and laugh)
Director- Let's get a move on roll the credits, so that I can see Erik's name and swoon.
(sees Erik's name and... well swoons while the rest of the female audience swoons and
gawks about Heath Ledger, oh well I guess the cast is too bad for the guys looking for
heart throbs)
Narrorator...er...Bob- A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... (SFX: Star Wars Episode
1 music rolls) There lived a young girl with her father, a widower, the old man didn't
particularly care about the girl's interests, after all why else would he marry the evilest
old fart in the universe? Geez... her name is after all the evil step-mother. How more
plain can that be? When he made sure his children's libes would be miserable he died.
Father- I'm not quite dead yet!
Bob- Well this "Father" suffers from a tragic fatal wounding.
Father- I'm getting better
Bob- (yells at father) No your not! You'll be stone dead in a moment!
F- I think I'll go for a walk! I feel happy!...
Then the narrorator grabs a nearby samuri sword and prepares to behead the trecherous
father when all of a sudden he finds he beheaded the stunt double instead who was
wearing a fake Gene Hackman head so that no one was harmed.
Audience- Awww!
Bob clears his throat and prepares to continue.
Bob- Um...well then the ugly step-family seize control of everything...
Sisters- Hey! Who are you calling ugly!
Bob- ...but Cinderella and her brother were made to be slaves, with Cinderella in charge.
Director- They weren't as nice to Cinderella's brother because he was so good looking
they were jelouse...(she yells as she gets dragged off the stage, and the story continues)
Bob- Life on the ...uh...Steele farm was dark and dismal until the year of Cinderella's
brother's (Marco) 19th birthday.
SFX: Tweet tweet tweet tweet urgh?! Cough! Weez plop.
Lab mice enter, and push a button which releases the spring loaded coil under
Cinderella's matress springing her right... into the person who walked into the room at
that tragic time.
Stunt Double- Oops!
Lost Tourist- It's okay! I do my own stunts. So... where do you keep your chainsaws?
And do you happen to have a goalie mask too? I outgrew my old one!
Producer- Alrighty then people, we've changed some plans. We were lucky enough to
have Godzilla audition. I think we can add him in as one of Cinderella's relatives. I'm
excited to be working with him.
Godzilla- Grrr... (eats lighting guy)
Producer- I'll get another one don't worry. If any of you know any electrician tell them
there's a position available keep up the good work everybody!
Stunt double nearly escapes death as Godzilla lunges toward the doughnut stand
Lost Tourist- Oooh! After I spent two years in jail, I tried to get a job as an electrician!...
but then they found out why I was in jail...
Producer- Um... thanks, but I think my sister's husband is an electrician.
The lost tourist heads up the ladder towards the lights anyways, knocking the ladder over
as she steps off. The fifteen foot ladder falls on the stunt double.
SD- Boy these Canadians are violent!
CAUTION: TOURIST IS NOT A CANADIAN! I REPEAT NOT A CANADIAN!
(tourist runs around waving a flag with a crossed out maple leaf and the words "Invade
Canada" written on it)
Director- Hey! Where'd my story go?
Producer- Your story...excuse me?
Lost tourist attempts to kill the producer, but failed when Godzilla broke another set of
lights.
Producer- Alrighty then everybody, because of my attempted murder I have gained a new
outlook on life and therefor I'm going to change this story to reflect my life. I want to
express myself more.
(cast groans, Godzilla growls, chainsaw revs up)
SFX: Chainsaw
LT- takes running leap at producer, but falls down stairs.
Producer- Okay, so now instead of the princess trying the shoe on her foot, she takes it
and brutally stabbs the prince. Much like my first girfriend (smiles) And then...
(interrupted by Godzilla who gets pissed off because he is sick of listening to him)
Random Announcer- We're sorry. But we interrupt this filming with an important
announcement.
New added Cast:
Stund Double 2: Jackie Chan
Animal 1: Bambi
Animal 2: Mr Ed
Animal 3: Blood sucking Rabbit
Group of animals: Antelope, wildabeasts, zebra.
Animal Trainer- No animals were harmed in the filming of this movie...well, uh except
for maybe all of them. Well you know we can't have a little white blood sucking rabbit
loose on the set... something might happen. What if he gets rabies? (starts to
hyperventalate) Ah ah um, I , I gotta go now. What kind of movie is this!?? (stutters to
a stop. Suddenly runs for dear life screamming uninteligibly.)
Scene 2:
Cinderella- Excuse me, but this is supposed to be my story! Now, let's get on with it...all
right. Places! Take 1!
Cinderella's accident caused her leg to break so Mr. Ed had to play her part as an
understudy.
Cindered- It's a beautiful ddaaaaaay!
Rest of Cast- (sings) yaaay! Don't let it get away! (stops abruptly when LT revs up
chainsaw and Lab mice are in Jeapordy)
Cindered- Now I hav to be a slave and clean up after my icky family.
Marco- You mean now you have to supervise while I clean up.
Cindered- Oh, yeah!
Godzilla gets boared and gets in a duel with the killer rabbit until they are both
chainsawed down by the lost tourist. Bambi shrieks because of the violence and runs out
into the road where he freezes... well like a dear in the headlights.
Note- Animals were harmed during the filming of this movie.
Audience cheers
Bob- Cindered and her unsurpassingly gorgeous brother with his strenghth of 10 average
mean and lean, yet muscular upper body which can make grown women crumble even
when he.. wait a second I don't remember this in the script.
Director giggles and runs straight into a stray wilda beast who gored her as she ran by.
Only it wasn't the director, it was the stunt double who was promptly rushed to the
hospital.
In the hall of the palace the prince and his parents were talking.
Prince- Mom, Dad, just let me do this on my own tonight, please don't embarass me!
King- No worries there kid, we won't bug you a bit!
Meanwhile back in Cinderella's house
Hospital- Cinderella's better she can be back in the story.
Bob- Back at Cinderella's house...
Jackie Chan- Peoples of our fair city, the King has called a formal ball for the marrage of
his son. Food will be provided, there may or may not be a mosh pit, the attire is formal.
Men can bring dates.
Sisters- That's wicked cool!
Anastasia- Wait I don't have a thing to wear! Cinderella do all my laundry!
Drisella- I don't know what the latest fasions are! Marco go out and buy all the
magazines at the closest newsstand!
A- My makeup is running out Marco create a new shade of eyeshadow for my eyes!
D- Cinderella find me a pair of fishnet tights!
A- Marco find my fake eyelashes!
Both sisters- NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marco and Cinderella look at each other and come to a consensus! They wisper to the
LT who nodds and smiles, then walks away.
Anistasia- Don't forget the cucumber slices!
Drisella- Get back early and prepare me for my pedicure.
Sisters- HURRY UP...
Lost tourist- Oops! (she says as she climbs down the fifteen foot ladder from the lighting
where one light is now missing from the scene after being mysteriously cut with a
chainsaw)
Special Announcement: There will no longer be evil step-sisters in our story of
Cinderella.
Directer- Weez! (falls over and passes out)
Cinderella tries to get ready, but she has no elegant clothes and all of her sister's clothes
were obviously made for anorexics, so they didn't fit her. She goes out to the yard and
tries to beat up a palm tree.
Fairy Godperson- Why are you harming the environment?
Cinderella- Who are you?
FG- I am the traveling wish department aka Fairy...
C- Godmother.
FG- Do I look like a woman? I'm a Godperson. You people nowadays... you are so...
sexist!
C- Yeah right whatever.
FG- I can give you some happenin' threads... if you want.
C- What time are you from? No one speaks like that anymore!
FG- Do you want my help or not?
C- Yes, assistance please!
FG- First I will give you cool clothes
Takes septor from his pocket and starts to conjure...Cinderella looks down at herself to
see that she is wearing a leather mid sectioned turquoise top with a thick turquoise collar
and three-quarter sleeves a heavely jeweled belt and cool black flares with embroidered
hems, along with sparkling glass sandles.
C- Isn't it supposed to be white?
FG- *snorts* White??!?!? *scoffs* Yeah right...Oh my gosh... that was so last season!
C- Okay (notices Marco)
M- Uh guys! I think we have a problem... nice outfit sis!... that white stuff you wanted to
wear before makes you look...well... kinda sick.
C- (sarcastic) Gee... thanks!
M- Hurry! Follow Me!
Cinderella and Marco rush onto sound stage two where the director lays... priest is giving
her the last rights.
M- Uh... what should we do, she doesn't look dead.
C- Kiss her!
M- What will that do? (Looks very confused)
C- What you've never seen "Snow White" "Sleeping Beauty" etc.?
M- But this isn't a fairy tale!
Cast and Crew nod in agreement.
C- *exasperated* JUST TRY IT!!!
Marco leans in and kisses director when she promptly sputters and coughs out the
lightbulb that had lodged in her throat. It hits the priest in the ear.
Director- That was wierd... what happened? (Cast shrugs)
Marco- So... uh Asian girl you want to go to the ball with me?
D- You mean we've gotten to that part?
M- Barely.
Stunt Double- (bored) What a bunch of Canadians!
Lost tourist gets agrivated at the mention of Canada, and kills the Stunt Double...
sucessfully with her chainsaw... very painfully... and celebrates by waving the "Invade
Canada" Flag.
*Cast Cheers along with audience*
Cinderella- What about me?
LT- (sings) You're so vain! You probably think this story is about you... don't you?
Twenty min. later at the palace, guests arrive. The first girl came in, unfortunately she
was incredibly ugly. She went over and expected the prince to kiss her hand, to welcome
her, but he refused.
Prince- What? Bad makeup job?
She looks at him in disgust and stalks away
Queen- That wasn't very princely. Honey be a little nicer to the less fortunate.
Prince- I'll try.
The next girl comes in, she is slightly pretty, the prince yawns, shakes her hand, and
twirls her away.
Prince- When are the hot girls gonna get here?
The queen sighs and looks frustrated.
Animal Trainer- HOLD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I worked with Buster, Dandy, Peaches, and Sasha
for days. Hello! You forgot the carrage ride, I'm so insulted! Let's go back, don't waste
my time. Okay. Take 403!
AT- Cinderella walks out to see the Fairy person transforming the lab mice into four
beautiful snowy true white lipizzan horses with flowing tails and manes that glisten in the
moonlight. Their beauty was unsurpassable.
C- *clears throat* Uhhum!
AT- Oh, Cinderella steps into the glowing white carrage, yadda yadda yadda. The driver
clucks to the horses, and they start off at a floating trot that makes them appear to be
flying towards the castle. The beautiful horses neigh with delight at running and toss
their beautiful shaped heads.
Mulder and Scully walk onto set...
M- We are aware that you are harboring one Godzilla here.
Producer- Yep, one... are there two?
S- No sir... That's just the way important people talk.
M- Please turn him over.
Director and Cast- But he's so cute, and he just got reincarnated... can we keep him?
Godzilla gives "puppy eyes"
Audience- Ahhhhh... So Cute!!!
Producer- Alrighty people, Godzilla stays... along with this cute furry purple fuzzy animal
I found in the woods.
Script supervisor reaches down to pet the purple fuzzy creature and it bites off her hand
and scratches out her eyes.
Audience- Sweet!!!
Producer- (smiles) Ah, the little guy's hungry. Will I'll go have the people in payroll
contact our hiring department and get a script supervisor that can see. (changes "days
without injury" sign from one back down to zero.) Keep up the good work. See ya.
AT- Now listen Stardust. You have to save the prince from marrying Cinderella. He
can't marry her. Got it? Distract him until I get to the ball. Good girl. Now off you go.
Animal trainer goes to costume department and "borrows" the most beautiful dress there.
It fits perfectly and is practical. She goes outside and gets on her horse Lady. Then she
gallops off to the palace.
At the Palace.
Girl after girl is presented to the prince, but he has not seen a single one that likes him for
who he is. He starts to dream about what had happened in the summer.
The Prince's Dream:
Setting- set of "A Knight's Tale" After filming, still in armor. Prince is his leading horse
into his barn.
AT- Hello are you bringing Dandy back to be groomed?
Prince looks up and stares "Yes... my lady."
AT- You don't have to call me "My lady" (blushes) I'm just an animal trainer. And your
riding Dandy. I trained him myself. Just call me Margaret.
Prince- You like horses?
AT- Yes, they are the most wonderful animals in the world! (she leads Dandy to his stall
as the prince follows)
P- You have trained Dandy well.... (they keep to talk about horses and training animals)
Back at the Palace- Cinderella enters to a fanfare prince looks up. Cinderella floats down
stairs and starts to approach him. Suddenly (Stampede SFX) Cinderella is trampled by a
heard of antelope, wildabeast, and zebra.
The ballroom is silent and then the LT races through with her new 2002 improved
chainsaw.
LT- Ya know, I never was really lost. (cackles and reves up chainsaw, and accidentally
steps on Cinderella's head)
Ambulance races in, picks up Cinderella. And as it races away a huge green paw grabs
the ambulance, and eats it. (SFX- crunching metal and screams)
Director has her arms around Cinderella's brother... slow dancing.
D- Hmm.... I like that lost tourist she's my hero! I want to be JUST LIKE HER!!!!
She kisses Marco and rushes to the refreshment table, grabbs a spoon and starts running
around stabbing people with it (this is no joke a historic spoon belonging to the Hulta was
sharpened, just in case there was a battle and they were eating)
(SFX trumpets) The AT enters and all eyes are on her. She walks down the stairs and
towards the Prince. All the other girls are jealouse and try to grab his attention.
Girl 1- Will you dance with me? Please!
Girl 2- Look at me when I speak to you bub!
Girl 3- Hello! PAY Attention to US!!!!
But the prince had eyes only for the Animal trainer. He broke through the crowd of girls
and walked towards her they meet in the middle of the hall.
P- Would you like to dance?
AT- I would be delighted!
They start dancing as everyone watches envious... except for the Director and Marco
smooching contently.
P- Have we met before?
AT- Yes once...Do you remember?
P- Yes, you trained Dandy for "A Knight's Tale." When you entered the room lit up. Will
you stay with me?
AT- Yes I believe I will.
They dance out onto the balcony were the moon is high. The Prince puts his arms around
her waist and...
Sorry the camera suddenly shut off, we do not know this part of the story. Story will
continue later in five... four... three... two... one... Action! Take 501!
The director races through the ballroom stabbing people with her sharpened spoon. Her
boyfriend, Cinderella's brother runs after her trying to helf her with a spork. Screaming
people run out to the balcony looking for an escape. The Prince and the Animal Trainer
leap from the balcony to land onto the backs of two matching pearly white Arabians and
gallop away into the night
Cindered- (wheeles by in wheelchair) No Prince... wait darling (follows them into the
sunset)
Later outside of the palace Godzilla has been cornered by Bambi with the LT. Bambi is
holding a chainsaw repair kit. LT holds a new 2002 Really Super and Very Improved
Chainsaw which is brand spankin' new.
Godzilla whimpers and trys to climb the wall, but can't because he has caught his foot.
Bambi- You may have killed me in "Bambi meats Godzilla" but now I've been
reincarnated by my friend the Animal trainer. Now you will pay!!!! (SFX- reved up
chainsaw, wicked laughter.) The LT is gonna help me.
Bambi lunges at Godzilla they fall and roll in the dust beating on each other. Godzilla
rolls into the support beam for the building. As Godzilla moves the building starts to fall.
Bambi and the LT race for the door. (SFX- crash, rumble of collapsing building) As the
dust clears Ambulences and fire engines rush in. One lone figure comes from the dust
and rubble.
LT- I didn't really want to work for a fuzzy cute deer.
A memorial was made on the spot of the tragic deaths of the the two Hollywood stars.
And now everyone leaves flowers and letter remembering the two wonderful actors.
Scene 3
After the ball the AT, P and Cindered are missing. Everyone is frustrated because they
can't do anything.
Script Supervisor- Where the heck are they! We don't get paid for doing nothing. What
was the AT thinking she she abducted the Prince?!? The idiot! Why did she...ugh...
Suddenly she was attacked by the reincarnated little white blood sucking rabbit. (SFX-
eee eee eee) She dies slowly and painfully.
Director- Seems like that rabbit doesn't like it's friend dissed.
Rabbit nodds with blood dripping down his fangs.
D- So I suggest that no one insult the AT and her guy. But you really should find them so
we can finish filming let's go!
As the cast start looking they head out to the enchanted forest on "The quest to finish the
Story." Yet since this forest is magical not many people can get through the forest...
unscathed.
At different parts of the forest different cast members try to fing the AT, P and Cindered.
The lost tourist revs up her chainsaw and cuts down ALL the vegetation in her way. In
other words in certain area's it is now called "The Enchanted Plain." The blood sucking
rabbit couldn't get through about ten feet at a time because the forest caused him to
change shape from the blood sucking ardvark, to the blood sucking chipmunk, to the
blood sucking kangaroo, all the way to the blood sucking zebra. The director got half the
way to the P, AT and C but stopped when she saw her first dragon and tried to fit a leash
on it to bring it home with her. The Producer never even made it into the forest because
he was marveling on the romance going and the void of romance in his tragic life. The
Propmaster who has been forgotten since scene 1 conversed with the also forgotten
labmice and thought of a purely scientific way to get into the forest... a hovercraft.
Producer's voice rings out- Alrighty people, we've lost half of the cast but... not to brag of
course, I am such a gifted actor I think I can take the prince's place, no need to thank me.
Everybody in Unison- Oh don't worry... we won't!
The Cast continues to look for the AT, P and C, for three hours. After climbing the cliffs
of insanity the propmaster beginds up the steps up Repunzle's tower. Propmaster opens
the door to find the prince tied up to a chair, Cindered's dead body on the floor, and the
AT gone. She spends five min. trying to find a scientific answer to this mystery (she
thought that the AT killed Cindered and tied up the Prince... but who knows in this
wacked up story) The PM hears the sound of a chainsaw in the distance. It grows louder
and louder. Suddenly, it flies through the door.
Prince- (still tied up) Dude, the LT is awesome! She rocks! *thinks* I bet she plays the
bass guitar! (she does)
The LT slices through the ropes with her nimbus 3,000 chainsaw!
LT- I love Led Zeppelin! Come on! We have to catch the AT before she let's all the
horses free all over the US!
The LT looks at her watch and screams! Runs off the set. The Prince gazes after her
fondly, and then shrugs and sets off, he gathers the PM, blood sucking squirrel, Marco,
Producer and finally the director with her new found dragon.
Producer- Awww... It's a cute widdle dragon, HE'S MINE!!!!!!!
Director- LAY OF DILBERT!!!!! HE'S MY CUTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PM pauses and starts to think, then starts to measure the dragon and mumble to herself.
"Yes, yes, this could work!"
CandC- What tell us NOW!!!!
PM- We can all ride on.... erm... Dilbert to find the AT!
CandC- Let's do it!!!
The cast and crew get on Dilbert with little trouble except when he flies over Kansas the
evil step-mother falls off. And that's where the wicked witch of the west comes from.
On the dragon the director marvels about how all the girls love the prince, and the prince
loves all the girls... but the director and Erik von Detten shall be together FOREVER!!!
Half and hour later...
Director- look horse footprints... we're close!
They followed the tracks for twenty min. they went off to search for the AT when they
stumbled onto the LT in her sister's wedding. They had arrived at Kirkland Church of the
Nazarene just in time to see the LT in A DRESS!!!! They started cracking up! Then the
LT saw them and began to pull metal objects out of her "purse" and slowly assembled
them. The cast and crew scream in terror as they realize she had rebuilt her Nimbus
3,000 that she got last Christmas, quickly the laughter stopped as the LT leaped through
the glass panel to chase after the cast and crew.
SFX- chainsaw revs up.
As they are running they tumble over a wiggling bundle, and they realize that it's the AT!
They quickly untie her and listen intently to her epic tale.
AT- Cindered framed me!!!! He cornered the prince and I then he conked out the Prince,
who now has amnesia...
P- Who's the Prince... and you are? Whom? You're kinda pretty though!
AT- See! He killed Jackie Chan... the second stunt double and enchanted him to look
just like his mirror immage, then he transformed himself and left. But he did it behind
my back so I couldn't see him, but I do know he hasn't left the room yet.
The cast and crew eye each other accusingly and notice something compelling... there are
two lost tourists who look the same... but which is which?
Dun Dun Dun! (SFX)
Cast/Crew look from one to the other. How can they tell which is the Cindered.
AT: Oh! I know. There is one way to find out who the real LT is. "She whispers to a cast
member who whispers it to the others.
Suddenly, FG appears "Okay, I'm back from my lovely vacation in wonderful and beautiful
CANADA."
Cast/Crew gasps. One LT lunges at FG's throat while the other LT says "Canadas seems
nice." Cast lunges at Cindered. They tie him up and try to get LT away from FG
FG: "I *gasp* don't *gasp* really like Canada. I only said it to find out who Cindered
was."
LT: Lets go "Okay, but if you say that again it's your problem"
AT: "See, my idea worked perfectly"
Director- Let's get on Dilbert, ride home and finally finish our story
Random Local- What are you going on aboot?
LT starts twitching
Another Random Local- Having some problems eh?
LT screams and revs up chainsaw
Dilbert- Est-ce que voux dois a travailler et jou avec des personnes a la studio eh?
LT runs at Dilbert with chainsaw
Director- No! *Mixed emothions first at learning that Dilbert was Canadian, and second
by she was scared by the thought of loosing him to the LT*
Prop Master- The scientific explanation for this amazing phenominon is obviously that
Dilbert, that he's a.....
FG-French Canadian and we're all stuck in CANADA!
LT forgets Dilbert and flies at the FG screaming "I warned you!"
SFX: Chainsaw + screaming "I'm sorry!"
Special Announcement! THere will no longer be a fairy godperson in our version of
Cinderella
Audience Cheers!
LT- Get me outta here! I gotta leave this wreched country NOW!!!!!
She runs out into the road and starts threatening Canadians in cars and forcing them
out so that she can... save... her new cast and crew friends. Finally she saw a bus and
leaped for joy~ She royally freaked out the driver and passengers with the chainsaw
until it was empty. She stole the bus, the cast+crew jumped aboard and the LT drove
like there was no tomorrow. As they crossed the border they heard the song
"Oh, Canada!" Which provoked the LT further.
LT- YAAAH! STUPID CANADIANS!
As she thinks he aims the bus carefully at the ferry dock and makes the bus airborne!
LT- Jump out!
As everyone jumps out of the bus and land softly on the stunt pad below they see the
bus flying overhead into the radio speaker generating that awful music.
Audience- Wicked awesome
Both the bus and the speaker explode and the Cast and crew head home onto american
ground. Since the border guards were running around because of the explosion the cast
and crew had no problems crossing the border.
LT- *Breathes a sigh of relief*
After safely returning from Canada, the Cast and crew decided to have an American pary
at the studio. It was going great...
Producer: I love these chips! What flavor are they?
LT- Coconut
Producer quickly runs toward the bathroom covering his mouth
Suddenly an axe flies through the studio door and the owner says "Anybody have any food!
Oooh, coconut Chips, my favorite!"
Axe boy dibes into the chip bowl.
LT: "Hey, look! It's my brother... the hungry tourist."
Cast and crew whisper: "Lost tourist has a brother?"
Prince whispers to AT: I wonder if he hates Canada too...
Hungry Tourist tweaks out at the sound of the word 'Canada' He flies towards Prince, LT
discovers her true feelings for the cast and runs after HT screaming "Noooo"
LT successfully guides HT away from prince but the axe accidentally sliced through the
single support beam causing the building to collapse killing everyone. In the distance
the sound of a chainsaw was heard.
5 years later
The Seattle Times Obituary
2 young writers found dead!
written by Judy S.
Late one tragic cloudy Kirkland night two yourn screen writers were found dead in their
old apartment. This would have been an ordinary case, but the both seemed to have
died... of fright? Not too long after these two had submitted "Cinderella (a parody)"
onto the internet they died, but not before writing a note saying... "Help us! I hear
a chainsaw!" they were going to send it to a friend we presume, but aperantly it didn't
make it. In honor of their death we will post the story here. Cast ....
(and that's as far as our dear writer got befor she was mysteriously killed by a chainsaw
kille....)