What's in a Joke?
Disclaimer: I'm not getting any money from this, so unless my million dollar check got lost in the mail, I don't own 'em buddy!
A/N: Fluff and stuff.
Heero Yuy walked calmly and quietly down the stairs. His enhanced ears picked up a melodious sound coming from the den of his house. Or rather, their house.
He turned the corner and his eyes met the color of a blaring TV screen, presently broadcasting what was supposed to be a 'humorous show'.
Heero Yuy did not find these types of show humorous. They did not make him laugh, smile, chuckle, guffaw, roar, snicker, etc. etc. in any way whatsoever. Heero Yuy, in fact, had no sense of humor.
Perhaps that's a bit too harsh. Perhaps it was just the actors' fault, for being so dull-witted and without talent. Perhaps it was the writer's fault, for not being able to think up anything beside lame punch-lines that would appeal only to the brainless and doped up.
Well, whosever fault it was, the result was that Heero Yuy had no sense of humor. He did not have one last year, or now, at age 21, and he most likely would not have one next year. Those were the facts, plain and simple. Heero Yuy strived on facts.
But it wasn't the incessant drone of the comedian's fast chatter that has caught his attention. It was the laugh from the viewer of the show: Heero's beautiful, intelligent, plucky girlfriend, Relena Peacecraft.
Relena had a sense of humor. Thank God.
Heero leaned his elbows against the back on the couch, and watched the television screen with no interest.
"An' I'll tell yas anudda thing!" The guy with buck teeth screamed. "How come I don't got no moneys around here? Where are mah moneys? JO! Have yas seen my moneys?"
Jo's shrieking answer was that she spent it on coleslaw.
Relena golden head trembled as she roared with laughter.
Heero raised an eyebrow. Relena was not usually this hyperactive. She must've eaten at least three doughnuts that morning. And she must've added two big spoonfuls of sugar to her tea. Yes, that would do it.
"JO!" The buck teeth man screamed again. "I'MA HUNGRY! Whatcha making for suppah?"
Jo's screeching reply was coleslaw.
Relena was clutching her stomach, she was laughing so hard. She pointed at the screen.
"Did you hear that Heero? She spent their money on coleslaw so they have coleslaw for supper!" Another fit of giggles.
Heero hopped over the couch with ease and plopped beside the girl. He wrapped a strong arm around her petite form in an attempt to calm her down.
It worked. Relena took a few breaths, blinked twice and smiled.
"Yes Heero?" She gave him a peck on the cheek. Her voice regained its usual elegance and charm.
Heero sighed. "Nothing."
Relena scooted closer to him. He was so solid all the time. He probably wouldn't be able to poke fun at something if it was a ten-foot mould of hilarious jello.
"Heero, can you do something for me?"
He eyes her warily. "What?"
"Tell me a joke." Relena grinned.
Her boyfriend scowled. "Aren't you over your sugar rush yet?"
"No."
Heero remained silent.
"Not even a teensy-weensy knock-knock?" Relena make a gesture with her fingers to emphasize her point.
"No."
"Please?"
"I said no."
"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
"No."
"A smile then."
"No."
"Why not?"
"NO, Relena."
"Fine." Relena turned her attention back to her sitcom. Her lips quirked into a small frown. He was so stubborn! How was she supposed to help him be more human if he refused to cooperate?
She was pissed, he could tell. But she knew that he did not find jokes amusing, and she put up with him anyway. In another hour, she'd have calmed down and be her normal self again. She certainly couldn't stay mad at him just because he couldn't make a joke, could she?
It wasn't his fault that he couldn't be the perfect man for her, deserve her, or make her happy, was it?
Heero swallowed a lump of guilt in his throat.
~ * ~ * ~
Heero walked into Relena's office, carrying a portfolio of papers. He was hoping to snag some lunch with her, and make up for his cold behavior yesterday. She was only trying to make him feel better, she had said later. She said she could tell that he was in a bad mood from work. She could always tell.
He paused at her door when he heard a familiar cheerful voice, loud and clear, drift from her room. He went in.
The scene he encountered was peculiar, to say the least. Duo was balancing on Relena's swiveling chair with one foot, a spoon cupped on his nose, and he was trying to juggle a stapler, a cell phone, a photo frame and a pen. Relena and Hilde were enjoying this show immensely.
Duo tilted his head. "Hey, look! I've got another member of my adoring audience! Don't worry sir! You'll be sure to get my autograph later, but as you can see, my hands are full right now!" He began humming a fast paced circus tune.
Relena and Hilde were laughing uncontrollably by now. Hilde stood up, and shouted a 'here! Catch!' to Duo and tossed him a calculator. Duo caught it, never once missing a beat.
Heero strode across the room and gave the swiveling chair a kick. With a yell, the whole performing ensemble came crashing down, with Duo falling right into Heero's arms.
"Oh! My hero!" Duo raised his voice to a sharp soprano as he flung his arms around his rescuer's neck. "Thank ye, sir knight, for saving me! Oh!" He acted out a mock faint.
Heero dropped his cargo to the ground. Duo landed with a thud. He stood up, rubbing his butt and gave Heero a glare.
"Oops, my hands slipped."
No one laughed.
Relena turned to her best friend and whispered in her ear. Hilde nodded, grabbed Duo's hand, and walked out of the room with a friendly wave.
"Bye Lena!" Her voice was heard in the hallway. "Come on, ya big sissy, I know you're faking your limp."
"But Hilde!" Duo's voice drifted away.
Back in the office, Relena sighed happily.
"It'd be great to have a guy like Duo around all the time," she murmured, not aware of her boyfriend's astonished look. "He's so funny. A girl loves a sense of humor." She whipped her head to her guest. "Yes, Heero? Can I help you?"
Wondering if Relena knew she had said her confession aloud, he thought for a second. "Uh, no.I just came to give you this." He gave her the portfolio in his hands and looked at his watch. "Er, can I meet you tonight for dinner?"
Relena stared. She knew that look. His brows were ever so slight furrowed together. Heero had a plan bubbling in his brain. All right, she would play along. Who knows? She might even be pleasantly surprised.
She said: "Sure! Where?"
Heero's answer was quick and firm. "No where special. I'll see you at home around six, ok?"
"No problemo."
Heero nodded, gave her a long kiss, and marched out of the room, determination blazing in his eyes.
Relena stared at the swinging doors, confused.
* * *
"Maxwell." Heero barged into Duo's "pig pen" as he kindly named it. It was still a mess.
"Heero! Come to apologize for my heinie accident?" Duo grinned. He looked up from his desk project: constructing the perfect paper airplane.
"Bite your tongue, Maxwell. I need a favor."
Duo's eyes lit up. He leaned back in his chair and propped up his feet.
"Well! That was unexpected! Well! How the mighty have fallen! Am I correct in repeating that the Almighty Yuy needs moi, Humble Maxwell's help?" He was obviously finding extreme joy in making his Preventer partner uncomfortable.
Heero pursed his lips and nodded.
"Well! Welly welly well well! A most interesting turn of events!"
Heero gritted his teeth, trying to control his anger. "Cut the crap Maxwell. D'you want to help me or not?"
"That depends," his companion hummed. "What seems to be the problem?"
There was a long pause.
Heero's face was very red when he spoke at last.
"I need you to make me funny."
TBC...
A/N: Dun dun dun! What'll happen next? Oh no! Duo has about a billion tricks up his sleeves. Poor poor Heero! Poor poor Relena for having to see the end result! That is, if Yuy even survives the basic training. *snicker*
Disclaimer: I'm not getting any money from this, so unless my million dollar check got lost in the mail, I don't own 'em buddy!
A/N: Fluff and stuff.
Heero Yuy walked calmly and quietly down the stairs. His enhanced ears picked up a melodious sound coming from the den of his house. Or rather, their house.
He turned the corner and his eyes met the color of a blaring TV screen, presently broadcasting what was supposed to be a 'humorous show'.
Heero Yuy did not find these types of show humorous. They did not make him laugh, smile, chuckle, guffaw, roar, snicker, etc. etc. in any way whatsoever. Heero Yuy, in fact, had no sense of humor.
Perhaps that's a bit too harsh. Perhaps it was just the actors' fault, for being so dull-witted and without talent. Perhaps it was the writer's fault, for not being able to think up anything beside lame punch-lines that would appeal only to the brainless and doped up.
Well, whosever fault it was, the result was that Heero Yuy had no sense of humor. He did not have one last year, or now, at age 21, and he most likely would not have one next year. Those were the facts, plain and simple. Heero Yuy strived on facts.
But it wasn't the incessant drone of the comedian's fast chatter that has caught his attention. It was the laugh from the viewer of the show: Heero's beautiful, intelligent, plucky girlfriend, Relena Peacecraft.
Relena had a sense of humor. Thank God.
Heero leaned his elbows against the back on the couch, and watched the television screen with no interest.
"An' I'll tell yas anudda thing!" The guy with buck teeth screamed. "How come I don't got no moneys around here? Where are mah moneys? JO! Have yas seen my moneys?"
Jo's shrieking answer was that she spent it on coleslaw.
Relena golden head trembled as she roared with laughter.
Heero raised an eyebrow. Relena was not usually this hyperactive. She must've eaten at least three doughnuts that morning. And she must've added two big spoonfuls of sugar to her tea. Yes, that would do it.
"JO!" The buck teeth man screamed again. "I'MA HUNGRY! Whatcha making for suppah?"
Jo's screeching reply was coleslaw.
Relena was clutching her stomach, she was laughing so hard. She pointed at the screen.
"Did you hear that Heero? She spent their money on coleslaw so they have coleslaw for supper!" Another fit of giggles.
Heero hopped over the couch with ease and plopped beside the girl. He wrapped a strong arm around her petite form in an attempt to calm her down.
It worked. Relena took a few breaths, blinked twice and smiled.
"Yes Heero?" She gave him a peck on the cheek. Her voice regained its usual elegance and charm.
Heero sighed. "Nothing."
Relena scooted closer to him. He was so solid all the time. He probably wouldn't be able to poke fun at something if it was a ten-foot mould of hilarious jello.
"Heero, can you do something for me?"
He eyes her warily. "What?"
"Tell me a joke." Relena grinned.
Her boyfriend scowled. "Aren't you over your sugar rush yet?"
"No."
Heero remained silent.
"Not even a teensy-weensy knock-knock?" Relena make a gesture with her fingers to emphasize her point.
"No."
"Please?"
"I said no."
"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
"No."
"A smile then."
"No."
"Why not?"
"NO, Relena."
"Fine." Relena turned her attention back to her sitcom. Her lips quirked into a small frown. He was so stubborn! How was she supposed to help him be more human if he refused to cooperate?
She was pissed, he could tell. But she knew that he did not find jokes amusing, and she put up with him anyway. In another hour, she'd have calmed down and be her normal self again. She certainly couldn't stay mad at him just because he couldn't make a joke, could she?
It wasn't his fault that he couldn't be the perfect man for her, deserve her, or make her happy, was it?
Heero swallowed a lump of guilt in his throat.
~ * ~ * ~
Heero walked into Relena's office, carrying a portfolio of papers. He was hoping to snag some lunch with her, and make up for his cold behavior yesterday. She was only trying to make him feel better, she had said later. She said she could tell that he was in a bad mood from work. She could always tell.
He paused at her door when he heard a familiar cheerful voice, loud and clear, drift from her room. He went in.
The scene he encountered was peculiar, to say the least. Duo was balancing on Relena's swiveling chair with one foot, a spoon cupped on his nose, and he was trying to juggle a stapler, a cell phone, a photo frame and a pen. Relena and Hilde were enjoying this show immensely.
Duo tilted his head. "Hey, look! I've got another member of my adoring audience! Don't worry sir! You'll be sure to get my autograph later, but as you can see, my hands are full right now!" He began humming a fast paced circus tune.
Relena and Hilde were laughing uncontrollably by now. Hilde stood up, and shouted a 'here! Catch!' to Duo and tossed him a calculator. Duo caught it, never once missing a beat.
Heero strode across the room and gave the swiveling chair a kick. With a yell, the whole performing ensemble came crashing down, with Duo falling right into Heero's arms.
"Oh! My hero!" Duo raised his voice to a sharp soprano as he flung his arms around his rescuer's neck. "Thank ye, sir knight, for saving me! Oh!" He acted out a mock faint.
Heero dropped his cargo to the ground. Duo landed with a thud. He stood up, rubbing his butt and gave Heero a glare.
"Oops, my hands slipped."
No one laughed.
Relena turned to her best friend and whispered in her ear. Hilde nodded, grabbed Duo's hand, and walked out of the room with a friendly wave.
"Bye Lena!" Her voice was heard in the hallway. "Come on, ya big sissy, I know you're faking your limp."
"But Hilde!" Duo's voice drifted away.
Back in the office, Relena sighed happily.
"It'd be great to have a guy like Duo around all the time," she murmured, not aware of her boyfriend's astonished look. "He's so funny. A girl loves a sense of humor." She whipped her head to her guest. "Yes, Heero? Can I help you?"
Wondering if Relena knew she had said her confession aloud, he thought for a second. "Uh, no.I just came to give you this." He gave her the portfolio in his hands and looked at his watch. "Er, can I meet you tonight for dinner?"
Relena stared. She knew that look. His brows were ever so slight furrowed together. Heero had a plan bubbling in his brain. All right, she would play along. Who knows? She might even be pleasantly surprised.
She said: "Sure! Where?"
Heero's answer was quick and firm. "No where special. I'll see you at home around six, ok?"
"No problemo."
Heero nodded, gave her a long kiss, and marched out of the room, determination blazing in his eyes.
Relena stared at the swinging doors, confused.
* * *
"Maxwell." Heero barged into Duo's "pig pen" as he kindly named it. It was still a mess.
"Heero! Come to apologize for my heinie accident?" Duo grinned. He looked up from his desk project: constructing the perfect paper airplane.
"Bite your tongue, Maxwell. I need a favor."
Duo's eyes lit up. He leaned back in his chair and propped up his feet.
"Well! That was unexpected! Well! How the mighty have fallen! Am I correct in repeating that the Almighty Yuy needs moi, Humble Maxwell's help?" He was obviously finding extreme joy in making his Preventer partner uncomfortable.
Heero pursed his lips and nodded.
"Well! Welly welly well well! A most interesting turn of events!"
Heero gritted his teeth, trying to control his anger. "Cut the crap Maxwell. D'you want to help me or not?"
"That depends," his companion hummed. "What seems to be the problem?"
There was a long pause.
Heero's face was very red when he spoke at last.
"I need you to make me funny."
TBC...
A/N: Dun dun dun! What'll happen next? Oh no! Duo has about a billion tricks up his sleeves. Poor poor Heero! Poor poor Relena for having to see the end result! That is, if Yuy even survives the basic training. *snicker*