AUTHOR: Elianna
TITLE: Alone. Together.
RATING: G
SUMMARY: Logan's thoughts on his and Max's predicament...
SPOILERS: Bag 'Em
KEYWORDS: Logan Angst (do I write anything else?)
DISCLAIMER:I don't own anything! Please don't
sue 'cuz all you'll get is my '85 Honda Accord!
I refuse to part with my computer!!!
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I'm trying to get my fanfic writing
style back. It was a slow summer.
I think that maybe I lost it.
Anyway, this story focuses on Logan's
feelings now that Max is back and they
still can't be together.
I feel for Logan in this one.
-----------------------
Alone. Together."
By: elianna (aka. Mel)
-----------------------
Asha just left.
She came back to pick up the box she left here a week or two ago.
She was asking about help with a new "job".
She wanted to know if Eyes Only would help.
I told her...
Stop.
What are you talking about?
This senseless droning...
Who would have known that you could make small talk with yourself?
Only you Logan...
I know why I'm doing it.
I don't want to think of other things.
More "difficult" things.
Instead I just sit here.
Or anywhere.
And make senseless talk with myself.
Of course, I work sometimes.
There's lots to do.
But there's just so much time in a day.
You just don't realize it until you're awake for all of it.
That's why Bling left.
He said he got tiered of "my pathetic ass".
It didn't take long.
Even I'm tiered of "my pathetic ass" now.
All this trouble.
Over what?
More like over who?
Max.
The sound of that name.
It brings so many emotions.
Happiness.
Comfort.
Pain.
Loneliness.
Love.
That last one encompasses all the others.
I have felt it.
I still feel it.
It is a double-edged sword.
Both the positive and the negative.
Balanced indefinitely on a tightrope.
Well, maybe not indefinitely.
There was a time when I was sure the positive would win.
But now, the negative gets stronger every day.
She looks at me differently now.
Not because I'm a cripple.
No.
But because she knows she could hurt me.
Doesn't she know that that simple look KILLS me.
I've died a hundred deaths since she returned.
I'll die at least thousand more.
I'd rather die once.
In her arms.
Than die a million deaths alone.
She thinks that she's protecting me.
I don't need protection.
I'm a grown man.
And I'm not stupid.
I can see right through her.
She feels it too.
And yet she manages to avoid me.
To try and forget what we had.
What we should rightfully have.
Maybe she blames herself for my punishment.
But it's her punishment too.
Ours.
Everything she does effects me.
Whether she realises it or not.
I understand what they mean now.
We are one.
So cliche'd but so true.
We are connected.
That's why it's stupid to act the way she does.
Denial won't solve anything.
That's one thing I learned from the last year.
I thought she was dead once.
I got a second chance.
I'm not going to let it pass me by.
I'm not going to be alone anymore.
We are together.
Sort of.
But for now.
We'll have to be.
Alone.
Together.
TITLE: Alone. Together.
RATING: G
SUMMARY: Logan's thoughts on his and Max's predicament...
SPOILERS: Bag 'Em
KEYWORDS: Logan Angst (do I write anything else?)
DISCLAIMER:I don't own anything! Please don't
sue 'cuz all you'll get is my '85 Honda Accord!
I refuse to part with my computer!!!
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I'm trying to get my fanfic writing
style back. It was a slow summer.
I think that maybe I lost it.
Anyway, this story focuses on Logan's
feelings now that Max is back and they
still can't be together.
I feel for Logan in this one.
-----------------------
Alone. Together."
By: elianna (aka. Mel)
-----------------------
Asha just left.
She came back to pick up the box she left here a week or two ago.
She was asking about help with a new "job".
She wanted to know if Eyes Only would help.
I told her...
Stop.
What are you talking about?
This senseless droning...
Who would have known that you could make small talk with yourself?
Only you Logan...
I know why I'm doing it.
I don't want to think of other things.
More "difficult" things.
Instead I just sit here.
Or anywhere.
And make senseless talk with myself.
Of course, I work sometimes.
There's lots to do.
But there's just so much time in a day.
You just don't realize it until you're awake for all of it.
That's why Bling left.
He said he got tiered of "my pathetic ass".
It didn't take long.
Even I'm tiered of "my pathetic ass" now.
All this trouble.
Over what?
More like over who?
Max.
The sound of that name.
It brings so many emotions.
Happiness.
Comfort.
Pain.
Loneliness.
Love.
That last one encompasses all the others.
I have felt it.
I still feel it.
It is a double-edged sword.
Both the positive and the negative.
Balanced indefinitely on a tightrope.
Well, maybe not indefinitely.
There was a time when I was sure the positive would win.
But now, the negative gets stronger every day.
She looks at me differently now.
Not because I'm a cripple.
No.
But because she knows she could hurt me.
Doesn't she know that that simple look KILLS me.
I've died a hundred deaths since she returned.
I'll die at least thousand more.
I'd rather die once.
In her arms.
Than die a million deaths alone.
She thinks that she's protecting me.
I don't need protection.
I'm a grown man.
And I'm not stupid.
I can see right through her.
She feels it too.
And yet she manages to avoid me.
To try and forget what we had.
What we should rightfully have.
Maybe she blames herself for my punishment.
But it's her punishment too.
Ours.
Everything she does effects me.
Whether she realises it or not.
I understand what they mean now.
We are one.
So cliche'd but so true.
We are connected.
That's why it's stupid to act the way she does.
Denial won't solve anything.
That's one thing I learned from the last year.
I thought she was dead once.
I got a second chance.
I'm not going to let it pass me by.
I'm not going to be alone anymore.
We are together.
Sort of.
But for now.
We'll have to be.
Alone.
Together.