Ways to get Akatsuki (and its members) really pissed off at you!

DM: I decided to write this story because I just love pissing those guys (and girl) off!

Aki: Warning: The following show features stunts preformed either by professionals and/or total idiots.

DM: I insist that neither you nor any of your dumb little buddies attempt the dangerous crap on this show.

Aki: In case of emergency: Run like Hell!

DM: I dedicate this to my PM-pals Akatsuki Chef, ZetsuAi, and S1SKA!

Aki: For reason's why we have yet to find out…

DM: I dunno, I just felt like doing a dedication!

Aki: On with the show!

All of Akatsuki

1. Whenever they plan an assassination, gasp very dramatically; thump them all on the head, and say, "Go into your timeout corner, no supper for you!"

2. Badger them all day and tell them to have an Annual Movie night. If they agree, rent every single Barbie/Barney movie in existents, and force them to watch it. If they didn't agree, drag um' into the room, tie them to chairs and force them to watch the movie's anyway.

3. Give the keys and location to their hideout to the most crazy and obsessive fangirls/guys, then say you're going to for walk when they come ambushing in. When you get back and see them nearly ripped to shreds ask very childishly, "Did the big bad foxy get you?"

4. Tell Orochimaru that they're willing to let him back, so long as he arrives naked, than wear 'Orochimaru Proof' sunglasses when he comes walking in on Movie Night. Tape the others scream 'My Eyes!' then sell that clip on e-bay.

5.In case of emergency: Run for your life.

Ways to get Deidara pissed.

1. Sing at the top of your lungs 'Dude, you look like a lady' and hide really quickly when he tries to find you.

2. Die his Akatsuki cloak pink, and glue very large bra's in the chest area, then during the next meeting say 'Hey look, Deidara has a sister.'

3. Tell him Tobi just told you his most deepest and darkest secret, and that you just posted it on the Internet. When he accidentally tells you his secret (they always do) say, "Nah, but I was recording the whole conversation. TO THE INTERNET!" And flee.

4. Ask him the true meaning of art, and during the first 5 minutes of his speech, snore very loudly. When he shakes you awake, yell at him, "Sasori's art is better!"

5. In case of emergency: Run like your being chased by a psychopathic bomber.

Ways to get Sasori pissed.

1. Ask him for hours how such a bumbling idiot like Tobi could replace him. When he snap's at you say, "Yeesh, ya' know what? I like Tobi better!" then stopped on his foot and leave the room dramatically.

2. Dip all of his weapons in maple syrup; when he asks you what you're doing, say "It's a new poison, very fatal." Then laugh your ass off during his next fight.

3. Place a very tiny MP3 player in his room, than place it on 'I've got no strings' to play at top volume all day long. When he asks you where it is, shrug and start singing along very loudly.

4. Tell him that you've decided to present 'Pinocchio' as your pick for movie night. Instead show an R rated movie that involves the dismemberment to puppets.

5. In case of emergency:Run to Konoha, he can't follow you there.

Ways to get Itachi pissed.

1. Ask him why he has creepy eye line thingy's, than laugh for 5 minutes every time he tries to answer.

2. Trip him randomly in the hallway, tape it, than edit it to where it's in slow mo. When you present it to Movie Night, scream, "Matrix!"

3. Walk into a meeting and shout to him, "Itachi you left your underwear in my laundry pile again!" and wave a pink thong that states 'I am Kisame's love bitch.'

4. Give five hour long speech on why he shouldn't have killed his clan and make Sasuke's life such a living hell, then once your done glare at him stupidly and ask, "What the hell are you doing here? Get out of my room you sick pervert!"

5. In case of emergency:Run, kid, run

Ways to get Hidan pissed.

1. Exist (he hates it when I do that!)

2. Whenever he comes walking down the hall flee into a corner and scream "Christ repels you, you sick, sick man!"

3. Lock him in a room full of Asuma fangirls, then record the sounds coming from there.

4. Whenever he says something make a very loud beeping noise. Continue to do so until the Asuma fangirls find him again.

5. In case of emergency:Run like the wind!

Ways to get Kakuzu pissed

1. Do absolutely nothing (Waste time, waste money!)

2. Give all of his money to Mr. Krabs. Then say he has to earn it all back by working at the Krusty Krab.

3. Ask him if he and Jack Skellington are distant cousins.

4. Ask him if he was nicknamed 'Tentacle Porn Master' in his village before he joined Akatsuki.

5. In case of emergency: Run. Like. You. Mean it!

Ways to get Kisame pissed.

1. Steel his sword, when he ask you where it is say, "It's in Florida, some girl bought it for 1,000,000 dollars." When he gives you a murderous look say, "I know, how can a girl want your sword, you're a fish!"

2. When on a mission with him in the middle of a village scream, "So how's the sex coming with Itachi?!" If he doesn't answer, ask him again and again.

3. Say your going to cook a surprise dinner. When Kisame ask you what is wait until he already swallowed a spoonful before saying, "Sharkfin Soup!" Stand back as he tries to cough it up.

4. During movie night, present a national geographic video on a dolphin kicking a shark's ass. When it's over, turn to him and say, "You were beaten by Iruka? I lost all respect for you."

5. In case of emergency: Run to the underwater city of Atlantis, he was banned from there.

Ways to get Zetsu pissed.

1. Rip a leaf to shreds in front of him. When he ask what you're doing say, "I'm teaching your girlfriend what happens when she curses me out!"

2. Steel Hidan's scythe, than massacre Zetsu's greenhouse. Leave the scythe behind as proof you didn't do it. Make sure it's Hidan's weapon, he'll live if Zetsu eats him.

3. Tell him that the plant channel as been canceled, than plug you innocent virgin ears as he calls the TV station to protest.

4. Trick him into thinking that 'Attack of the Zombie Plants' was coming out soon and that you got two tickets. Then lead him to a room full of Zetsu fangirls (Those exists!)

5. In case of emergency:Run to the desert, he is powerless there!

Ways to get Konan pissed.

1. Ask her when she and Pein plan on having a kid and if you can name it 'Cougar'

2. Dye your hair blue, place a flower in your hair, and tell everyone that you're Konan's long lost daughter/son. Videotape Pein's reaction.

3. Pelt her with water balloons filled with permanent ink.

4. Whenever she goes all paper-butterfly scream and leave the room shouting, "I don't want a paper cut!"

5. In case of emergency: Run to the paper shredding company, she's too scared to go there!

Ways to get Tobi pissed.

1. Point to him randomly and shout, "Lollipop!"

2. Hold a basketball to his face. When he ask what you are doing say, "I've found your long lost brother!"

3. During a meeting suddenly scream, "Madara Uchiha!" When they ask you what the hell you're doing say, "I dunno," And sit back down.

4. Ask him if he's jealous of DeiSaso. If he says no point to him and scream, "Liar!" If he says yes, take him to a therapist.

5. In case of emergency: Run to the Lollipop factory, he feels very violated if he goes there.

Ways to get Orochimaru pissed.

1. Ask him if he is Michael Jackson's long lost cousin.

2. Give him a present randomly. Don't tell him who sent it until the evil foxy comes out and attacks him. Then tell him it's from Naruto.

3. Slap him repeatedly and shout, "You're such a failure at life, you child molester!"

4. Ask him if he's got a pet basilisk. If he says no then snap, "Well, Voldemort is a much better villain then you! What're you called? He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Left-Near-Children?"

5. In case of emergency: Run to the 'We-Hate-Snakes-Club.' 'Nuff said.

Last but not least, Ways to get Pein very pissed.

1. Nudge the phone to him. When he asks why, say, "Sonic the Hedgehog, your father, wants to speak with you."

2. Tell him that Konan and Deidara are having sex as you speak. Then stand back as he tries to break the door down.

3. Steel all of his copies of 'Twilight' and give them to Kakuzu. Leave as quickly as possible before Pein notices there gone.

4. Follow him all day putting a balloon on his head, and when he asks why say, "I want to see how pointy your hair is and compare it to Minato!"

5. Imitate him doing everything when he's not looking, than when he turns around pretend to be reading 'Ways to get Deidara pissed.'

6. Grab his foot, and let him drag you all around the base.

7. Ask him why he doesn't kick Madara's ass, than gasp every time he opens his mouth

8. When you see God Pein get really mad, slap Deva Pein and said, "I don't even know you anymore!"

9. Tell him that Minato would be a way better leader then him.

10. Stick a sign on his back that says, 'I'm leader of Akatsuki, Kick me!'

11. In case of emergency: Run into a magnetic field as he tries to kill you for coming up with 5 more ways to piss him off then necessary.

Aki: Well, this just proves you're crazy!

DM: I know I am, but what am I?

Aki: … Kisame was really banned from Atlantes?

DM: Oh yes, it gets much worse. Let me tell ya' that story…

Aki: Whoops and we're out of time!

DM: Please Read 'n' Review!

Aki: Seriously Review!

DM: I appreciate Favs and Alerts but I live off reviews!

Aki: So don't just fav and alert

DM: R-E-V-I-E-W!