Death is something different. It's something dark and intangible - ignored in polite society and brushed back away beneath the bed. It's something feared, a monster stalking everyone - none knowing when it will attack. Sometimes the hunt is long and liesurely, the creature waiting in the forest until its prey falls asleep and it quietly devours you; and at other times it is terrifying and hard, as it reaches out with its fangs and claws out of ever nook and cranny to grab the prey that fights a losing battle to survive.
It was something that everyone feared in some way. Perhaps they went out of their way to forget the inevitability, or perhaps they went out of their way to encountre it as it if would cure them of their fear. Others accepted their fear, and it left them alone; but it was always there. Always in the background.
He was no more immune to the fear than others were. He had avoided it, and he had sought it out - now he had come to peace with his death, perhaps through exposure and perhaps through surrender. Certainly he knew that it was coming for him one day - that his job only gaurunteed an unnatural death. He had hoped at one time that he would grow old, have a family; but now he was merely content to count each new day alive as a win.
But nothing lasted forever - nothing ever could, as the song said. He could fight the hunter, could crawl out of the inevitable; or he could keep his dignity - accepting two outcomes to the situation: either his survival or his murder. Whatever would be would be, and he would merely use whatever he could to his advantage.
He didn't expect to escape it this time. No one was coming back for him, and he had already used his only hope. He was this man's...prize, for lack of a better word; and Yibari would not delay long. It was certainly neater than he had expected it to be at times. Simple, a bullet to the head and it would all be over.
He felt the gun press against the back of his head, and he wavered forward for a moment. There wasn't much to think or say anymore. Any that he would bid farewell to were either gone, or they lived the same dangerous life he did; and after the third assassination attempt and life-threatening injury or situation life didn't bother to flash before one's eyes. He didn't recall it flashing by the first times either, but he could imagine that his ability to not react in a situation affected that.
He wasn't walking away this time - there was no one he could out-talk or disarm; and he refused to attempt something he would not succeed at. He had done a lot in his time so far, certainly; and there were others to continue. And perhaps this was just - an execution shot to the head. Certainly, he deserved death for some of the things he had done - but an eye for an eye and a life for a life.
He could not save Luli, and would not save Dembe - perhaps this was best. Better to die on his own terms than by surprise.
"Lizzie."
AN: Inspired by Blacklist 2x14, the end where Reddington is almost executed by Yibari. It's a sort of character study of Reddington, and of death in general. There is a lot more to Reddington, but this was just a few seconds. 11-2-2015