by Crystal Tiara17
Disclaimer: I do not own Ayashi no Ceres or any of its characters. They belong to Yuu Watase.
Summary: The C-Project staff's POVs on the C-project itself, how they came to take part in it, and their many thoughts.
complicated (adj.) - difficult, intricate, complex
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Life's like this, you
You fall and you crawl
You break and you take what you get
And you turn it into honesty...
----Avril Lavigne, "Complicated"
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Kagami Mikage.
When you hear that name, what is the first thing that pops into your mind? A heartless bastard, an emotionless man, or a manipulator, someone who strikes fear into your heart. Typical reactions.
There's no need to ask me. I know. That is what most people think of me. Aya, Chidori, Aogiri, and all the others do. But did you ever bother to know me? I don't think so.
I confess that I am not a real Mikage. Yes, I am not trying to fool around. It used to be just my mother and me. My father probably died when I was little or left me. Although we were poor, we were never unhappy, and sometimes, I felt that I had everything I wanted, even though we didn't get to eat three meals a day.
And then it happened. My mother met the man I now call my father. He was then the CEO of Mikage International. They instantly fell in love and started dating. Unfortunately, his father, now my (deceased) grandfather, was against their relationship. He treated my mother badly. But despite all that, they got married not long after.
We moved in, and Grandfather treated us more coldly than ever. Sometimes, I remember my mother and I crying. I often wondered why he hated us so much.
Then my mother changed.
She became someone else, no longer the kind, loving mother I knew. She pushed me to study hard and to be the best. She wanted me to become perfect in everything. If I couldn't meet her ideals, she would beat me up. While my classmates were out partying, I was stuck inside my room, studying. My lonely room.
Alone. Lonely. Weak.
But one fateful day, I found the picture that changed my life forever. I was only a fifth grade student at that time. I was in my father's study when I discovered it.
"That is Ceres. She is the ancestor of the Mikage family...a Tennyo, or celestial maiden. She is reborn in the girls of the Mikage family, seeking to exterminate our clan. This was taken by one of the relatives the moment she transformed. After that, the girl was killed."
I became fascinated in Ceres. Growing up without a mother's love, you would surely desire a mother to love you, right? That was how I felt. Since my mother was no longer the same mother I knew, I had always thought of Ceres as the perfect woman. Seductive, charming, vengeful, and yet...motherly and probably even lonely on the inside. She could be the mother I never had. I had always desired her, and in my obsession for her, I dreamed of creating the perfect world---a utopia, through these complex beings called Tennyo. Yes... she could probably make the world a better place.
And my mother? Eventually, she became insane and was confined to a mental hospital. Sometimes, I visit her, just to check on her, on how she's doing.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't totally hate my mother. In fact, I am grateful to her. She made me realize that I was weak, and that this world, this life, were filled with lies and hypocrisy. It's just an intricate web filled with people struggling to survive----a rat race with people who would gladly pull their own comrade down just to have a higher status in the eyes of society. It's what you'd call survival of the fittest. Every man for himself. The stronger ones stay alive, while the weaker ones are left behind. This world is dirty, filled with illusions of beauty and perfection that can never be achieved.
C-project aims to create the perfect world. No lies, no illusions. Through the mysterious powers bestowed upon the Tennyo, we will create a beautiful world. Perfect.
Like Ceres.
You must be thinking that my dream is too far-fetched. Or that too many lives might be lost. But is it not that there is a saying that we all stand up from our own mistakes? Whatever the cost, we will push through with our project. We will recreate the world.
Because life is just a complicated web of lies, hypocrisy and illusions.
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If you want to, I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside, so busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cared
---Michelle Branch, "All You Wanted"
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Author's Notes: Well, that was chapter one. How did you like it? I'm only thirteen years old, and so my writings are far from perfect. I really need your reviews! Tell me if I did a good job or a bad one, and what my fics need to improve. And yes, I am going to include Lulik and Assamu, two members of the C-Project that were not included in the anime.
So tell me, which character do you want me to do next? a) Alec, b) Wei, c) Gladys, d) Lulik, e) Assamu