Author's Note: Annie is obviously a very unique character, and she has her own way of thinking, and her own habbits. I was thinking about why those habbits exist with her, and what's really happening to her when she's covering her ears or laughing or closing her eyes. Only a brief explanation is given in the Hunger Games, and that's that she was traumatised when the boy from District 4 was beheaded in front of her. So here it is; Inside Out, named the same as a book by Ann M. Martin that I'll always call one of my favourites. Italic is Italic for a reason.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the following characters.
For my sister, that the world doesn't understand either.
Annie's toes were in the water of District Four's main beach, and her whole body in Finnick's warm safe arms.
"The water's beautiful today." Finnick said. "I think it's trying to be like you."
Annie smiled.
Beautiful
"My, Annie, you're looking beautiful today." Caesar Flickerman told her at the interview. She smoothed down the skirt of her dress. It was sea green. Wes had said that all her clothes should be sea green to represent her district and make her look her best.
"Thank you Caesar," she said softly.
"So are your chances in the Games just as beautiful, according to you?" He asked.
She closed her eyes. She was with Finnick. Not with Caesar Flickerman, not with them. This was much better. This was perfect.
"Or you," Annie said quietly. She didn't talk much. Only with Finnick.
Talk
"Talk," Mags whispered in her earpiece. "Please Annie, you can't ignore them, talk. They just want to know two things about the arena. They'll be angry if you don't talk."
Looking at the people who were looking at her now, no different than they'd looked at her when Reef had been beheaded… Annie couldn't talk. She could only see the knife slicing through Reef's neck.
The president in the first row looked at her like he'd do the same if he could. The guards too. The guards with guns. Like in the Games.
POW! POW! POW! POW!
Annie covered her ears.
Finnick was playing with her hair, like he always did.
"I have to go to the Capitol on Wednesday." Finnick said.
Capitol
Peacemakers were running down the roads to catch the tribute girl from District 3- nobody knew how she'd gotten out but…
POW! POW! POW!
Annie covered her ears and Finnick rubbed her shoulders. It relaxed Annie. Nobody who rubbed her shoulders like that would do anything bad to her. That's Finnick. She's safe with him.
"Okay," she said. "Have fun in the Capitol."
"I wish, Annie. I'll miss you."
Missing
Emilia was hugging Annie in the mayor's study.
"I'll miss you Annie."
"I'll miss you too Emmy." And they looked at each other, emotions so high, and the moment so quiet and awkward between them that they started laughing.
Annie laughed for a few seconds and then looked back at Finnick.
"I'll miss you too Finnick." She said.
Finnick had been gone for three days. Annie was living with Mags now; they said that Annie shouldn't be alone.
She watched Mags. Her hair was white, like books with no words, but if you looked very closely you could see red hairs. Annie could see them easily. One, two, three… Lines were dug into Mags' face, like roads on a map. Some of them were from smiling, though. A lot of them were around her eyes- shining like the stars- the one thing about Mags that could tell you that she was still bright and fully alive.
"Fish would be good, don't you think Annie? It's your favourite tonight; carp." She said. Annie nodded and watched Mag's fingers fold and the skin fold over the joint bones as she cut a fish.
Cutting
Knives. Like in the arena. Like that boy from district 2, Gareth, had thrown at her. Like people died with.
That's how Reef had died in the arena- the other tribute. The other piece of home that Annie had. Someone had taken a knife, and cut his head off, while Annie was right there.
He had screamed. Very loud.
She clapped her hands over her eyes so she wouldn't see Reef lying in his own blood. Mags turned around, and looked back to her own hands. She dropped the knife in the sink and whipped her hands on a towel
"Here," she said throwing the towel on a counter and walking towards Annie. She took her hand. "Why don't we walk to the bakery to get some bread?"
A sand dollar. She smiled. Finnick had a collection of sand dollars at home; he'd been collecting them since he was a little boy. A sand dollar on his necklace had been his token in the arena.
Token
The boy from 7 –Kyler- ripped Annie's necklace off, chocking her. She gagged and the necklace snapped off.
"What's this?" He said. His body was thrown over Annie's, to keep her pinned on the ground. She screamed and yelled and fought, but he barely noticed it. Kyler's fingers passed over the shell; he held it between his index and thumb.
"Isn't that cute," he said. He pushed his fingers together and the shell cracked. Annie chocked out a yell as he tossed it away. That had been Mom's. They'd gone diving far away from the coast line together, for the first time, to find shells to make necklaces. They needed money. But Mom had kept one for Annie and given it to her on New Year's. That was the one.
Kyler started laughing and that's when Reef came jumping out from behind. He kicked Kyler in the side of the head and knocked him out. Annie was yelling at him to run before Kyler's allies would come and-
Annie covered her ears- Reef was screaming because she hadn't yelled and Kyler's allies had come for revenge. She couldn't stand Reef screaming.
He stopped and Annie looked back at the beach. And the token- no, not a token, just a sand dollar in her hand.
She'd give him this one when he got back from the Capitol. Mags said it wouldn't be much longer. Annie hopped so. She missed Finnick.
Missing
"Annie?" Finnick said walking into the small room she had found to hide. "You're missing the whole dinner. It's… It's just for you. You should come."
Annie didn't say anything; she just hugged her knees to her chest and didn't move. Wes had told her there was a dinner when he'd put her in the dress. The top had no strap and Annie was always scared it was too loose and it would fall off. Silver dots made lines wrapping around Annie's torso, even on her back where there was no fabric- they just kept going and went down her shoulders and arms. There were folds in the fabric of the skirt, making ruffles like waves. It was sea green; Wes said it was good to represent her district. She just wanted to go home to it, now.
"Or not…" Finnick said. He closed the door behind him, and sat down next to Annie, careful not to sit on her dress. He brushed his hand to move the fabric. His hands were tough with callouses, because of all the work he'd done with tridents and fishing nets and hooks. His fingers drummed on hers like the drums in the Panem anthem.
"Is it too noisy for you out there? Do you just not want to see people?" He asked. "That's okay. I understand. It's hard to see people after what they did to you. After what they made other people do to you."
Annie looked up. She hadn't talked to people since she got out of the arena. Not even to Mags or Finnick. But Finnick knew it like she'd told him.
"You can miss it if you want. It's okay."
They stayed there for a long time, and Annie rolled her head to the side. She thought about the noises in the arena, and the noises outside, and how some of them were alike, and how some of them weren't.
She had to cover her ears when she heard someone yell at the chef to get more of those orange cream pastries.
And when a metal tray fell to the floor outside.
And when a waiter yelled that it was okay, the tray only had dirty dishes anyways.
And when the chef yelled at the waiter anyways.
But it was okay. All the screaming was okay. Finnick had said so.
Suddenly the door creaked open.
"Miss Cresta? You're missing the dinner in your honour- you should really get back to the-"
"It's okay to miss it!" Finnick yelled. Annie yelled at the same time. They looked at each other and started laughing.
Annie started laughing.
"Funny memories, dear?" Mags asked, shouldering Annie now.
"Finnick memories," she said, her fist closing on the sand dollar.
Someone was tapping on Annie's shoulder.
"Wake up," whoever it was said. She recognised the voice. Strong, young, a man, charming… "It's me."
Annie's eyes bolted open and she spun around to see Finnick. She still had the covers pulled over her shoulders to keep the warmth trapped in. She gave him the biggest smile she could.
Smile
Caesar Flickerman leaned forwards in his seat.
"Annie, in your interview before the games, you had the most beautiful smile. I notice you're not smiling, what's going through your mind right now?"
POW! AH!
NO!
Take me not him!
Don't!
Run!
Hide!
REEF!
THE FREAKING DAM BLEW!
Annie covered her ears and moaned. Caesar tried to touch her shoulder to see what was wrong, but she crinkled back from his touch- feeling it as hard as the tree that'd fallen when the arena had started to flood and hurt her shoulder, dislocating it. Or like it was Gareth, trying to use her to float, pushing her down so she drowned first.
She shivered.
"Hello," he said, moving her hair out of her eyes with a move of his hands. She grabbed his hand and scooted over so he could sit down next to her.
"You're doing okay?" Annie nodded.
"You?"
She noticed worry lines on his forehead, his eyes looked just a little less bright. Fatigue. He was slouching a bit more than usual. He was tired and worried. Annie had gotten good at watching what hapened to people after the Games.
Watching
Annie stood crumpled on the ground and she watched Gareth slice a knife through Reef's throat.
She pushed her hands to the side of her head- the sound of slicing flesh, thumping bodies falling to the ground and cries of pleasure and victory were all over the place, bouncing back at her like the walls were trampolines.
Her hand got a reassuring squeeze. No Gareth. No screaming.
"I'm okay." Finnick said. He cupped her cheek with his hand and passed his thumb on her chin. "I missed you."
Missing
The knife Gareth threw missed Annie's shoulder by a millimetre. Too close for comfort.
She shivered again.
"I missed you too."
"Well then, common. Get out of bed, get dressed, get some breakfast, and let's go to the beach for the day." Finnick said with a smile. Annie smiled at him again, and he took her hands and hauled her out of bed. Once she was changed and out of the room- he took her by the hand downstairs, through the kitchen, and to the beach.
It must be a holiday. Annie wasn't sure. She didn't keep track of days anymore, except for New Years. And Reaping day. But there were a lot of people swimming. Children crying out to each other and giggling, people stripping off shoes and coats and running into the waves, walking down the beach holding hands, red, blond, brown and black heads peeking out of the water as the waves kept coming in.
Water
There were yells and a girl names Morjan ran out of the woods. She was from district 7, not in the career alliance. Why was she here?
"They made the dam jump- the kids from 3!" She yelled.
Seconds after she said it, the arena flooded. It became a water fall. Everyone panicked. Annie was in shock. She cried and sobbed and yelled for, about and because of Reef. But when the water got to her, she just started swimming. It was natural.
She looked around.
"Morjan!" She yelled. She looked around. Morjan was a few strokes away, struggling. She was from 7- where would she have ever learnt how to swim? Annie tried to swim but Morjan sunk and it was too late.
She covered her ears to keep from hearing the waves and the gurgling and the screaming. Finnick took her by the hand.
"Common Annie," he said. "Let's go walk around for a bit."
He got up first and took both hands to get her up. He held on to one as they walked around the street near the beach, lined with pastel shops and kiosks. She put her other hand in her pocket and took out the sand dollar.
"Finnick," she said. "I thought of you when I saw this." Annie said.
No, she hadn't. She'd thought of Kyler and Reef and Gareth. It wasn't the same inside as outside.
Finnick looked at the sand dollar in her palm and smiled. He picked it up and kissed her cheek.
Kissing
It was after the Games, and Finnick and Annie were sitting in a park, on the bench around the pond. Big orange, black and white fish swam around. The place was always calm- Annie had heard that these fish were zen once.
"Annie?" Finnick asked.
"Yes?"
"Do you think this is a calm place?"
"Yes."
"Me too. But after the games, the only time I've been really calm was with you. You make me feel good Annie, you're special. I really like you."
Annie looked up at Finnick with bright eyes. He… Liked her?
She liked him too.
She was kissing him when he kissed her, anyways.
And Annie smiled.
For once, she was the same inside as outside.