Reading my other story will give you some background but it is not completely necessary to read because Nikolas and Britt were in the background of my other story The Start of the Rest of My Life. It will give you some context but this can be a standalone fic.
"Why can't you just tell me who Ben's father is? Its not like its a matter of life and death Britt. Why are you being so dramatic about this? Britt, I can be his father in every way that counts but I have a right to know don't I? Why can't you trust me?" I want to tell Nikolas so bad but I can't. My mother already threatened me and no matter how lovely Nik is it doesn't matter. My mother is ruthless and my father is insane they can get people to take Ben at any time. I have to protect Ben because he is mine and I won't let anyone take him away from me. I need to keep my mouth shut about Jerry Jacks being Ben's bio dad because if anyone knew it could really turn ugly. I can't imagine Nik or Spencer getting hurt.
"Why do you need to know that Nik? If you love Ben it shouldn't matter who his biological father is? You didn't mind before why are you so adamant now?" We have been talking/fighting for over an hour and I don't want Spencer to overhear this.
"Because I have a right to know. Britt it doesn't matter who his father is but we are engaged which means we will be getting married and I want a marriage with no secrets. I never try to push you and I always seek to understand but I feel like I am grasping at straws when we come to this. I love you so much and so blindly and I don't mind that but you keep secrets from me and it hurts. It makes me think I am falling alone. It makes me think I love you more than you love me." Nik just makes me want to tell him so bad but I can't my dad is in the wind and my mom is always on the horizon. Something can happen at a moment's notice. If my mom had remote access to my last laptop then maybe she is always watching me waiting for me to make a mistake and pounce. Normal people thinks this is probably paranoid but I have had the misfortune of having my mother as my mother. If I were normal I would just tell him. Let him wrap me up in his embrace.
"Nikolas I trust you that has never been the problem. There's factors I cannot control and this is one of them. I love you and I have never felt this way about anyone ever. I have no illusions of love with you. I know what we have is real and tangible."
"If you really loved me you would tell me. This is all I need baby... Just tell me this one thing and if you never want to talk about your past ever again I will respect it I promise."
"I shouldn't have to prove that I love you! You should already know! You doubt my love Nik and that hurts. I told you I can't tell you because you and Spencer can get hurt in the process and I will never take that chance. I refuse to take that chance."
"Britt I can protect us! I can protect my fucking family! I am not some weak man who can't do anything for his wife and kids. If you just told me than I could protect all of us. I am asking you to be honest with me and you choose not to be. You are breaking my heart and it feels like you don't care."
"I love you Nik and my heart isn't in much better shape than yours. I can't tell you because there are things out of our control."
"Britt its just an excuse. If you can't tell me then I really don't know how we can get pass this. I can't enter a marriage knowing that secrets are between. It won't be a good foundation for our family. I can't live like this. I think it is best that we break our engagement because marriage like this would hurt us more down the road." He is breaking up with me!I want to scream and pounce but it would make no use but frighten the kids. My heart feels like its in a blender and from the look of Nik's face he feels the same.
"Umm I guess it would be best if I packed up my stuff and left huh. Do you think you could leave I know its your castle but its hard for me to be whole when you are standing so close to me."
"Britt this will always be waiting for you. I will always be waiting for you. In my heart I know you are the one for me but the secrets threaten to destroy us. This hurts me so much but if I feel like I put everything on the table and you won't do the same. I don't know what is hanging over your head but its because you choose not to confide in me that is hurting me most. Until then I can't be with you."
He shuts our bedroom door and collapse on the bed and I reach for his pillow and and I cry into it. Spencer's already asleep I can't even say bye to him. I don't know where I am going to go or what I am going to do. My body just gets up and I feel like I am having an out-of-body experience and I am getting all my shit together like a machine. I pack all of my shit and I go in search for Ben's room and do the same. Ben wakes up and I am glad he doesn't cry because right now I can't freaking handle it. I take the ferry back to the mainland and go to the parking garage for my car. I don't even move. I just sit in the car the whole night and just in a trance.
When my dashboard says 6:30 all I can think of is this is when I get up to start making Spencer his breakfast and the scar is still fresh and the tears just roll. I blink the tears away because they are clouding my vision. I need to drive to the park. I met Nikolas and Spence in the park. I just sit with my baby in the park and do nothing. I feel nothing like I am nothing. I need to call Maxie or Brad. Benjamin and Francois are far so the time difference will definitely be bad. I decide to call Maxie. I really need her right now.
I am in a daze I don't know how long it has been since I have called Maxie maybe it was one minute or one hour I really don't know all I know is I need my friend right now. She comes and I tell her what happened. We argue a little but its soon dissolved and she takes me to her apartment and sets me in the other room. She offers to watch Ben and I let her. I need some sleep. I don't know if I can but I need to try. I leave her and Dante and settle for the bed. The bed is nice but it doesn't feel like home. Its not the same sheets, its springs and not memory foam and the other side is empty. Before I could cry some more my mind let's my body rest.
When I get up I remember that I have a job. I cancel all my appointments today and tell the hospital I will not be in today. I really don't want to see Elizabeth smug face right now she is probably rejoicing at the fact she can go after Nik without my presence being there. I already miss Spencer and it feels so wrong to be here like this. Spencer woke up but it wasn't me who woke him up. I didn't take him to school. He probably thinks I abandoned him. I remember the day my mother sent me to boarding school like it was yesterday. I felt so betrayed and alone and that is the last thing I want Spencer to think about me. I am not like my mother. I want to be there always but I don't have any rights to Spence. So much is happening and its giving me a headache. I think Maxie knows that I have woken up because she knocks softly on my door.
She comes in with bacon and eggs with a glass of juice and water with what looks like Tylenol and I am so grateful to have her as a friend because I need someone right now. Money is a little tight for me right now and it sucks. Well I still have enough take home pay but hospital bills are really killing me right now. I can't always give Ben the things that he deserves and I am too proud to ask my mother because its just another way of calling me weak. I don't really like talking about why I have money problems its just makes me even sadder.
I never bothered to check my phone messages and I see that I have a couple of voice-mails from Francois and it would be nice to talk to him.
"Bonjour mon soeur, je souhaite que decrochez votre telephone! Tu me manque vraiment. Je suis a New York. Mais j'ai besoin de vous voir bientôt. Il est tres important."
Fuck Franny sounds so serious and it is making me worry. I need to call him back now. I hope nothing bad happened to his mom. I won't be able to forgive myself after I ignored his call.
I call his number and thank god he picks up.
"Allo, comment ca va Britta?"
"D'accord Franny et toi?"
"D'accord aussi."
"Tu as besoin de prendre un taxi a Port Charles. Tu peux recontrer petit Ben"
"Donnez-moi l'adresse de vous recontrer s'il vous plait."
"1420 Quartz Lane, Port Charles, New York."
"A bientôt mon amour."
"A bientôt." I think I am going to have to tap into my emergency cash. Its a good nest egg but I don't like touching that money for obvious reason but I need too. I tell Maxie I need to meet someone and I will be back much later. See asks me when and I tell her the truth... I don't know.
Francois is based at the UCLA medical center he wouldn't come here on a whim even if he wanted to see me. Something is wrong and I kinda don't want to find out. I rush to the Metro Court with Ben in tow and I ask for a room and I use the AMEX that I hate using and I know it will go through because I try to be as frugal as possible. I get us a suite we don't have to go back and forth between room. This will be my biggest purchase outside of baby stuff for this year.
Once he walks through the door I fee like time stops and all I see is him. I missed him so much and I hug him so tight and I finally let go and he looks at my little angel.
"Benito, its so nice to finally see you."
"He looks happy to see you too."
"What I don't understand is why is he not named after me. I am the better-looking brother!"
"Shut up and stop being so vain and have lunch with me."
We go and sit towards the window so we can see the view. We have small talk and he tells me the reason for his visit is a case. He tells me the particulars about this patient and their cancer. Its been a while since I have had to think like an oncologist but it comes back to me like a second skin. He said he read over my research papers from two years ago about an alternative treatment to the usual cocktail therapy and asked me if I had any patients. I told him I had two people in the treatment. I told him about their side-effects and I also told him the risks and not everyone will respond to the treatments the same.
"Who's the patient anyways?"
"Me."
"You have cancer?"
"Yes I noticed my fatigue and I didn't see the point of being in denial knowing the longer I waited the better chance I would have of not saving myself. I want to try this treatment and before you tell me no I went about this like a doctor. My health is very comparable to the two test subjects that's why I am seeking your help. Also I trust you with my life implicitly. I need you Britta now more than ever." Before I can respond I haven't noticed but I see Felix and Liz so close to us. I really can't deal with either of them right now. I am one minute from clocking Elizabeth in the nose.
"Well look at what we have here. Hello Britt who is your friend here?" Felix raises his eyebrows like something is scandalous. Why is he always in my fucking business? I get it Sabrina is your best friend I stopped bothering her a long time ago why the hell are you still inserting yourself in my life?!
"Its none of your business. What happens here is no concern of yours? Is there something you needed or did you just wanted to gawk?" Francois gives me the look and I give it right back. He can tell I don't like either one of them.
Liz starts looking between the both of us and she doesn't even say anything. Why are these losers wasting my time? If you aren't going to pay for the meal then fucking leave.
I take a cue from Francois and stare back at him. Its something we all used to do when we were younger. It was a way for us to calm each other down and it works. They notice they won't get the satisfaction of a glance from us so they leave.
We order some lunch and then we go up to our room. I tell Maxie I will be gone longer than expected but I am finding an apartment before the week is over. I thank her but I have a case and its going to keep me away for some time.
This is the last thing I needed honestly. Franny being sick is like a knife in the back from life. Mama Vivienne is already sick and the treatments are bleeding all of us dry and she may still not make it and now her youngest son is sick. Why is my life so fucking miserable? Why do the people I love taken away from me? Why am I dealt with so harshly? Why is life so cruel to me? The only good thing out of all of this is my baby. He is the light that keeps me from truly becoming something irredeemable.
I snap out of it. I become the clinical doctor I need to be. If Franny is going to survive I have to be the strong doctor with no personal drama affecting my ability. I won't allow human error to cost my brother's life. First thing I need to do is get in contact with Patrick. I can only have the best neurosurgeon consulting with me for my brother's condition. He may not like me very much but he won't let anyone suffer his ego can't handle it. I need to call Ben because Franny is going to need all the family he can get. Thank God NYU medical center isn't as far at all.
I needed Britt to push down her personal life and become a doctor again. The loss of Nik and Spencer is colossal to her but it will never impair her ability as a doctor. She isn't one of to be faint of heart one characteristic she is glad to have taught to her by her mother. She can help people she is one of the best in the world and in this world she is recognized for it. In the last story (Maxie and Dante pairing) I explained that she befriended a kid named Ben at her boarding school and his family became Britt's family. She is close to them. Benjamin and Francois are her brothers and Mavi (Mama Vivienne) is a surrogate mother figure someone who could offer her affection and encouragement because he other mother could not. The reason money is always tight for Britt is because Mavi is sick and her treatments are incredibly expensive and are not covered by her insurance because her specialist is in New York City. That's why Britt, Ben, and Fran all live in the states instead of being in Europe. It is because of Mavi. Also it should be noted that Britt's stash fund is a whole lot of money but she doesn't like using it because there could be a time when the treatments become more expensive and she wants to always be able to cover them. In reality it makes no sense why Britt would always be tight with money being a doctor and the show never mentions student loan debt or any other debt for that matter.
Elizabeth will definitely cause trouble and tension for Nik and Britt and that is something Britt doesn't need right now. Also I am too lazy to put the translations in so sorry you have to deal with the French. Remember Britta is from Switzerland she knows many languages from living there. French is her native tongue in my fic and probably what it should be for the character. In my head I am having the Marcels as Spanish and Swiss ethnically which is why Francois calls Ben by the name Benito which roughly means little Ben. That's just some background and yeah Nik is going to be hella jealous because Britt's brothers are hot and Elizabeth is going to misconstrue the relationship as romantic and not familial (she doesn't know anything about them being family anyways). She wants to portray Britt in an unflattering light to further her chances with Nik. I just wonder what will Nik do? Will he try to get back at Britt with Elizabeth or will he just move on with Liz and forget about Britt? Will he fight for her back and realize that Britt wants to protect him as much as he wants to protect her. This was a long author note but I thought it had to be said.