Authors Note: Hey there! So this isn't my first fanfic but it is the first I've ever published so I hope you like it! If you have any advice I would be delighted to hear it and general comments would be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure how long this fanfic will be but it will probably be quite long and I'll try to update regularly. Okay that's all I wanted to say! Hope you have a lovely day! Xx

TW: mentions of war, mild (non descript) gore

Chapter One.

Lights will guide you home,

And ignite your bones,

And I will try

To fix you.

- Fix You; Coldplay.

Tino was late home again. Berwald sat, twiddling his thumbs and listening to the clock tick. Just tick. Endlessly. The sound was so slow, so infuriatingly slow but, every time Berwald looked up, another hour had passed.

And Tino was late home again.

Peter had been in bed hours ago. Berwald read him a story, one about pirates so that he could do silly voices to make their little son giggle. It was good to hear Peter laugh, the situation with Finland had been stressing him out too. He was getting to be less talkative and was eating less. Berwald hadn't been eating much ether. The anxiety made him feel sick and it felt wrong to eat without Tino anyway.

Where was he? A ridiculous question. Tino was on the battlefield, fighting a fruitless war against Russia for resources that had been running very scarce over the last few years. Coal and oil; things we could live without, Berwald thought. He hated that his baby had to go and fight, risk his life, for something he didn't need. It was horrible how he'd come home every day, battered and bruised. He always insisted he was fine, a brave smile adorning his face but lately that smile was getting more and more strained as the days wore on. Berwald would sit endless nights, patching up his cuts and kissing every scar on his body. Endless nights telling Tino how much he loved him, how much he would always love him. Endless nights wishing he could do something to really help.

There was a knock at the door.

Berwald flew to answer it, flinging the door almost off its hinges to look out in to the rain. "Hey sweetie," the soft voice like candyfloss soothed Berwald's rapidly beating heart. But something was wrong, though he couldn't see it clearly in the dark night.

Tino let him stare for a while. He didn't want to scare Berwald, the man had enough on his hands already without this. But he would have too see it soon enough. "Berwald, honey, I'm coming in now." He said gently, stepping into the light. He kept his head down for a moment, hiding his face and hugging his partner. Tino barley came up up to Berwald shoulder so he was able to comfortably bury his secret in the taller mans chest. They stayed that way for a moment until,

"Just show me."

Tino smiled at his ever observant husband. He cautiously moved his head into Berwald's view. Time stopped as he stared. There was a deep gash running from the side of Tino's forehead, across his right eye and down his cheek. His eye itself, once a beautiful blue, was now red with clotted blood and slowly turning black with dirt. He looked timidly up at Berwald who's clenched fists were shaking with rage. His face turning from soft and caring to stone cold and vengeful in a matter of seconds. "Who did this to you?" His heart beat fast, anger pulsing through his veins.

"Ber I-"

"I'll kill them."

"Stop it Berwald."

"I'll kill them!

"Berwald please!"

He hated it when his husband acted this way, aggressive and angry, it wasn't him. He was a sweet soul, just a huge teddybear who wouldn't hurt a fly. Unless, he supposed, that fly had hurt Tino in some way.

He hugged Berwald again, soothingly rubbing his back, "nobody did this, it was my fault, I ran into barbed wire. I just tripped, it was my fault." He was crying now, the salt water stinging his eyes. Berwald pulled him close, wrapping his arms protectively around the other. He didn't want to see Tino cry, his heart pushed against his chest as though it would burst out with the emotion that he felt. In his mind he was praying, though he never had believed in a god (how could he?), that he could keep Tino in his arms forever. Protecting his lover from all the noise, the violent gunshot that would ring in his ears for years after this was over. Tino was strong, yes. But not even the strongest man should be made to deal with that.

He'd seen Tino fight, it was surreal. His demeanour instantly shifted from graceful and sweet to ruthless and efficient. He never missed a single shot with a gun and was even deadlier with an axe or a sword. Berwald had even seen him take on Matthias in a wrestling match when they were all out camping once. Granted, Matthias had eventually won but Tino's agile steps and surprising strength really gave him a good fight. Yes, Berwald had no doubt that Tino was strong, and yet, that didn't make it any better.

"You can't fight like this." He said quietly.

"I have to."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do."

Berwald didn't bother to continue arguing. Tino was right; and he didn't want to spend the little time they had together bickering. He sighed and gently stroked the others hair. It was quiet in the house, not a sound to be heard. They let the silence hold them, not tense but peaceful "I love you." Tino smiled a little into his chest, "I love you too."

They said nothing else as Berwald closed the door and lead Tino to sit on the sofa whilst he went to get the first aid kit from the bathroom. Tino sat quietly, not moving to much. Berwald's words still hung in the air and he didn't want to loose them by speaking. The other came back with the first aid kit and a bowl of warm water. He knelt in front of Tino and gently dabbed at the cuts on his face, cleaning them and carefully putting plasters in the worst of them. And every time he finished, he placed a kiss on each of them, trying without success to sooth his lovers pain.

He was avoiding looking at Tinos poor eye. He felt a stab to his chest every time he caught a glimpse of the red-black void where his beautiful wife's eyes once shone with life and happiness. But he wanted to help, it was the least he could do. It was his duty.

Berwald bathed Tino's eye gently, careful not to hurt him any more. He dabbed at it with rubbing alcohol to stop any further infection and wrapped a clean white bandage around it. But he sighed hopelessly. There was nothing he could do to help. Not really. The damage had been done.

He hadn't noticed he was crying until he felt cold tears fall to the back of his hand. They took him by surprise but, once he started, he was unable to stop. It was as though all the emotions that had built up for so long were finally pushing out in waves of sorrow. His shoulders shook, his head bowed as he sobbed uncontrollably between heaving breaths. He felt defeated, defenceless. A giant of a man who had fought more wars than he could remember and survived through so much suffering was somehow reduced to this; a helpless child, crying on the floor.

Tino didn't know what to say. It was a strange sight, unsettling almost, to see his stoic husbands face crumble into floods of tears. He was not crying daintily as Tino often did. No, he was sniffing and sobbing, desperately trying to regain control over himself with loud gasping and ugly hiccups. To see him this way, shaking, with his whole body seemingly devoid of all hope...

It broke Tinos heart.

"Baby.." He said timidly, kneeling down to sit beside the hunched figure of his husband. Berwald made a noise that sounded like an attempt to reply, but was drowned out and pulled down by his relentless tears. Tino felt tears stinging his own face. He suddenly threw his arms around Berwald and held him protectively. "Shh, baby. Berwald don't cry, don't cry darling." He felt a motherly need to sooth his weeping lover. His voice was soft and caring, "it's alright, I'm here, I'm here now. It's all okay." Tino knew that when the morning came, it's dusty light would once again pull him to the battle field. But for tonight, he was here. With Berwald, with his love.

He felt strong arms embrace him, circling him, protecting him. Tino smiled a little but didn't say a word. He just shut his eyes and let Berwald's warmth sooth him. Neither wanted to move, to break the beautiful spell of peaceful quiet. And so they stayed, in each others arms, slowly falling asleep to the sound of each other's beating heart.