Hey guys! So this is my first fanfic in years and the first on this account so bear with me with any mistakes I may make. I'm from New Zealand so I may not get all the Americanisms, or the college system right. Feel free to correct me on anything; I'm always down for constructive criticism! Heads up, this is going to be a slow slow burn. Chapter title is from the song O' Children by Nick Cave. Hope you enjoy the Bellarke!
"I'd kill for a coffee… literally."
Clarke Griffin burst into the house she shared with her two best friends looking like death warmed up. Having finished her last final of her second year of med school and after only 1 of her usual 3 before-noon coffees she was about ready to fall asleep on her feet.
Raven Reyes, one of said best friends, had other ideas. She leapt from her spot on the couch as books went flying and launched herself at Clarke.
"Woo! It's officially summer now baby!" She squealed.
"I don't know how you move so fast with that brace," Clarke laughed, pulling her friend in for a hug.
Only last year Raven had been crossing the street downtown with the third of their trio Octavia Blake. The two had been leaving a frat party and forgot to look before crossing. It was only a quick glance up that gave Raven any notice of the incoming motorcycle and in that split second she pushed Octavia out of the way, taking the full force of the collision herself. Octavia only suffered minor bruising, but Raven had been in the hospital for months. When she finally came out she was left with limited use of her left leg due to nerve damage, yet was just as energetic as always.
Clarke thought she was the bravest person she'd ever known. Crazy, yet brave.
Raven just smiled, heading to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee, "It's all in the passion Griffin!"
Clarke followed, rolling her eyes as Raven rummaged through the cupboards, knowing exactly what she was looking for. Sure enough, with an 'aha' from Raven, out came the whiskey. As she poured a generous amount (far too generous – in Clarke's opinion) into each coffee mug, she smirked and Clarke groaned pre-emptively, blue eyes dropped to the steaming mug she was handed.
"Soo…"
"So what Raven?" She sighed, knowing this could only be about Bellamy, Octavia's older brother and also Clarke's ex friend with benefits. If you could call having sex sporadically in freshman year, fighting so loudly Clarke lost her voice for days, and awkwardly avoiding each other ever since any semblance of 'friends'.
Raven smiled sweetly, "well he moves in in t minus 2 hours, and I thought we may as well have a party to chill us the fuck out because I can guarantee the first few hours are gonna be the worst. You're the last to finish the semester so it's perfect timing too!"
Clarke sipped on her very strong coffee and nodded, "I mean I'd be less awkward if I were drunk so that's always a positive. I suppose it'd be sort of like ripping off the band aid."
She looked up from her coffee and laid her hand on Raven's knee before continuing. "I'm okay you know, it was years ago. Anyway, it's his house, he's not even moving in he's coming home. I suppose I can just move out if it goes south."
She took a sip of the coffee and sighed. Bellamy Blake. The man who had firmly planted himself under her skin since she was five and he ten and he burnt her favourite soft toy when he found out Octavia invited the rich kid over. They feuded until she was thirteen and his mother was murdered. She had rushed up to the house he now owned to find him sitting on the front porch with his head in his hands. As she pulled his large hand into hers and leant into him Clarke's heart ached with his pain. From then on Bellamy was always around, which she never understood because he worked almost full time at the café down the street while studying classics at Yale. He had a full ride to college, being the smart and hardworking person he was, but was always short of money. Clarke was constantly amazed by the way he put Octavia first, and how saving every spare penny so he could buy her a prom dress had turned into putting her through college.
It was when she was 16 that they became close. He would offer her books to read and she would cook for him and Octavia because (as Clarke liked to point out) his cooking was awful. She spent so much time at their run-down house, her father liked to joke that she might as well move in. In freshman year of pre-med Bellamy was her T.A. in her classics elective, and he tutored her whenever he visited the dorms. Honestly she'd only taken the class to be around him, yet funnily enough that was the class that she had met Finn in.
Finn Collins brought heartbreak into her life. He turned her into the other woman when three months into the relationship Raven stormed into her room and announced herself Finn's girlfriend of four years and who the fuck was Clarke? The only good thing to come out of that shit storm was Raven. Unfortunately, it also introduced her to alcohol and it was at one of the parties the Blake siblings threw that everything had got out of hand. She was falling on the floor and Bellamy had smirked his goddamn smirk while reaching to pick her up. He'd thrown her over his shoulder and declared it was her bedtime – as he used to when she was young. Only she wasn't thirteen anymore and once in her room she'd reached up to trace his freckles. With her lips. The sex continued for months until one morning Bellamy shook his head and said it was a mistake – Octavia shouldn't have to deal with the outcome of them falling out over sex of all things. In the end it was obsolete because the fight that followed had gone down in fight wall of fame history, and they'd never spoken again.
Even when her father had been killed in a car her mother was driving early sophomore year, he didn't speak to her, didn't offer her the same comfort she gave him all those years ago. Instead he moved to Rome for almost three years to fast track his studies and had only come back to a job as a professor at his alma mater. The youngest professor Yale has ever had because of course Bellamy would be. He was the biggest nerd she'd ever met. She didn't want to be proud of him, but she was even after the giant shit show of everything they'd been through she was happy that at least against all odds he'd made it.
It was going to be a long day.
"Uh Griffin? Earth to Clarke?" Raven waved her hand in front of the blonde's blank face.
Clarke started and hopped off her spot on the bench, "sorry my heads in the clouds babe, and this coffee is doing nothing to help. I think I'm gonna take a nap so I don't fall asleep during the party. I really want to celebrate."
Raven raised her eyebrows, "Alright that doesn't sound fake at all but I'll take your word for it, I expect you bright and alert for beer pong later Grif!"
Clarke snorted, shaking her head in exasperation as she headed to her room setting her alarm for an hour from now and crashing before her head hit the pillow.
The alarm didn't go off. Of course the alarm didn't go off. Clarke had spent months grumbling about needing a new (and preferably working) phone. She groaned and rolled over to check the time only to notice six texts and holy shit it was 5pm. She'd slept for five hours! Which meant Bellamy would already be settled into his room and Raven would be dying to drink. She rubbed her eyes to wake herself up before opening the first text.
Ravenclaw 2:12pm: Bet ur alarm didn't go off. Idiot get a new phone already! Just letting you know big Blake's here and unpacking
Ravenclaw 2:44pm: He has more books than you girl wtf, how can anyone own this many books?!
Ravenclaw 3:15pm: Wakey wakey wakey
Ravenclaw 3:58pm: If I didn't know you were exhausted and seriously value our beerpong game tonight I'd come in there and wake you myself. He's already driving me crazy! I don't know anything about this classics shit! I'm a real functioning person not a museum curator and MY ARMS ARE KILLING ME FROM CARRYING ALL THE BOXES OF BOOKS
Ravenclaw 4:39pm: Okay O's back now I can stop entertaining this crazy person, wear the black top when you finally wake your lazy ass up, it makes your boobs look great and I'm still in revenge mode :)
Griffindor 5:03pm: I'm awake! Oh my god Raven it's been years and ur insane I'm over what happened pleeeaase don't make this anymore awkward than it has to be :p also books are good, read more ur so uncultured it hurts hahaha
Clarke quickly typed out her reply, swung her legs over the side of her bed and noticed a text from O.
Octabae 4:50pm: Sup my beautiful bff who I'd totally bone if it weren't for Lincoln. So Bell's here and I just wanted to be serious for once in my life. . . lol. I had a word to him about the fight and I get the impression he's ready to let go if you are, either way he'll leave you alone I made sure of it. No grumpy Bellamy in this house babe! Now wake the fuck up and party with me, I'm going to Florida in a week and I'll miss u!
Griffindor 5:06pm: Ur only going for 2 weeks you cry baby. Thanks though, it means a lot. Got to get over it at some point. Just gonna jump in the shower, make me a drink bitch xo
After her quick shower Clarke opened her closet , thought fuck it and grabbed her black shirt. Raven was right it was hot as fuck; loose fitting and ridiculously low cut, with a built in black choker. Pulling it on with a pair of denim shorts she paused at her bedroom door for a second before shaking her head. She wasn't having second thoughts! She wouldn't let herself. Hell this was her house too and she would not be reduced to feeling awkward in it because Bellamy Blake came back from Rome.
She found her friends out on the deck in the evening sun, Octavia leaning against Lincoln as she talked animatedly with her brother and Raven working the barbeque. No one noticed her quietly slip outside. She strode over to Raven and wrapped her arms around her waist, resting her chin on her friends shoulder. "Anything I can do?"
Raven popped open a beer, "you can drink this. Good to see you've finally risen from the dead by the way."
Clarke pulled away and slapped her arm "hey! I'll have you know I've been working so ha-"
"Clarkey!"
She had about a second to put down her beer before the whirlwind that was Octavia Blake crashed into her and twirled her around in circles. "You've finally finished! I'm so proud of you!"
She laughed and pushed the brunette away, "I haven't got my results back yet you crazy person, but thanks! It feels so surreal to have nothing due, and no study to do."
Octavia scoffed, "oh as if you won't study over summer, you're one of the biggest nerds I know honestly between you and my brother I don't know how I turned out so cool."
At the mention of said brother, she looked up to see him staring intently at her. Cool blue eyes met dark brown with a questioning gaze and he bobbed his head in a short nod.
"Princess."
She smiled before she could remember to be angry. He looked the same as always, tall and dark and broody. He'd let his hair grow out and had to run his hands through it to get it out of his eyes. It suited him, along with his new tan. It seemed impossible for the man to get more tanned but here he was in her house definitely affected by the sun and the apparent lack of scissors in Rome, pulling it off in a way only he could. He was so familiar to her, yet a total stranger at the same time.
"Hey Bellamy."
Before the silence could get any more awkward the door to the deck slid open and the rest of their friends waltzed in, greeting Bellamy with hugs. Congratulations to Clarke for finally finishing the semester after everyone else was already in summer mode were thrown around and beers opened. They'd been friends for as long as she could remember, and now for the first time in a long time the group was back together. It was like high school all over again. She smiled to herself, sipping at her beer. Even Bellamy being back couldn't take this happiness away from her. Despite them all growing up, the dynamic was the same as always.
Monty and Jasper sat on each tyre swing, passing a joint between them, while Miller shouted about arresting them from the treehouse he and Bellamy perched in above the two. Clarke burst out laughing and Octavia, standing beside her on the deck, grinned. "He's been really on my case lately about getting them to stop smoking around us, as if anything I say will ever make them stop."
"How is work? Are you excited about the seminar?" Clarke nudged her shoulder, took a last swig from her beer and set about making a drink before realising.
"Hey you never actually made me a drink! Bitch."
Octavia jumped towards the table and grabbed the gin out of the blonde's hand, "I never said when I'd make it, but hey would you look at that I'm doing it right now."
Clarke stuck her tongue out at her and giggled, stepping back to let the self-appointed bartender at every party they ever held do her job. Well, she generally made about three drinks before she got bored, but the title had officially been taken by the fiery Blake.
"Yeah work's good, Clarke. You know Brian? Miller's ex?"
Clarke nodded, Octavia was a cop along with her boyfriend Lincoln, a detective who had been her supervisor as a recruit, and Miller who was Lincoln's partner. She was still a grunt but had every intention to become a top detective and possibly work for the FBI in the future. Octavia's partner Murphy hadn't been able to make it tonight.
"Well he was shot a few weeks ago, he's back in the street now and all but I think Miller's on edge. Well I mean of course he's on edge. Brian didn't take well to him rushing to his hospital bed and they kind of had a fight. I think Harper had to drag him out of there, they were going to call security."
"Jesus," Clarke's eyebrows were bunched up together, "poor Miller."
"Yep," Octavia handed her the finished gin and tonic.
"It gets worse too. With the department sending Lincoln and I to Florida for two weeks, Miller's having to take over supervisory duties and you guessed it, that means he has to supervise Brian. It can only go one of two ways to be honest, they'll end up pronouncing their love for each other and fucking in the station or there won't be a station to come back to."
Clarke grimaced and took a sip of her drink. "Jesus O, this is more gin than tonic!"
"Only the best for you." Octavia reached up and messed up her hair with a fond smile.
She made a kissy face at her and Clarke laughed, walking over to the couch and pulling Raven from it. "Come on babe time for beer pong! Dream team here we come!"
They high-fived and looked around for a pair stupid enough to challenge them in the game. Monty and Jasper agreed to try, boasting that they were better than the two. Which of course was a marijuana induced lie. Clarke lost herself in the fun of the game and forgot about Bellamy while she and Raven destroyed team upon team of hopefuls.
Four games of beer pong later and she, along with everyone else, was well and truly drunk.
Fumbling into the kitchen she rummaged through the cupboards looking for the last of her cookies. When she found them her face lit up in a grin and she jumped onto the counter to stuff them in her mouth. Everything tasted so good when she was drunk and the whole group always made fun of how much she could eat when they drank. Chocolate chips melted in her mouth and she sighed, completely intent to devour the whole bag.
"I see nothing's changed with you then."
She froze. What was he doing in here? There must be some sort of silent agreement to never be alone together right? Or was that just how she thought this arrangement would work?
He pushed a hand through his hair and cleared his throat, clearly he had something to say. It reminded her uncomfortably of another life and her eyes narrowed. She put down the bag of cookies and hopped off the bench, crossing her arms. The alcohol in her veins really wasn't helping her resolution to be peaceful with him especially as the memories of the two of them in this very kitchen came rushing back to her.
"What do you want Bellamy?"
Again his hand rushed to his hair and he fidgeted. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry Clarke, O told me I should apologize and seeing you tonight has me realizing how much I missed you while I was gone."
Was he fucking kidding? "Sorry for what Bellamy?" She spat.
"Sorry for your stupid excuse? Sorry for up and leaving the country without saying goodbye? Sorry for not even bothering to call or send a fucking email for two whole years? Or sorry for not even saying a word when my dad, dad-"
Her voice cracked and she brushed furiously at her eyes. No way was she going to cry in front of fucking Bellamy. He stood there wordless, eyes glued to the floor and she couldn't for the life of her tell what he was thinking, which just made her blood boil.
Turning her back on him she grabbed her cookies, making her way out of the kitchen to her room. "And don't you dare apologize because O told you to. You've always been a coward Bellamy. Fuck you."
He grabbed her arm and she clenched her jaw, turning to him. His eyes were on fire and he snarled at her. "A coward huh, Princess? Don't you fucking dare. You don't know a thing about what I've been through and what I've had to do."
The fire in her eyes matched that in his as she pulled herself out of his grasp. "I've known you for seventeen years Blake, and after what you did to me you will always be the biggest coward I've ever known."
She bolted to the sanctuary of her bedroom, ignoring worried looks from her friends in the living room.
"The world doesn't revolve around you, Princess!" He shouted after her, and she slammed her door angrily, ignoring worried looks from her friends in the living room. She slid down the wall in furious tears.
Turns out she was wrong about two things today. She was not okay with him, and every day was going to be a long day with Bellamy Blake back in town.
Thanks for reading guys! Please review hope you enjoyed it, I aim to upload every week but my nursing exams are in a few weeks so I may not be able to 100% stick to that. Again, reviews will totally help with that!