DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Suikoden III, which belongs to Konami, The Looney Tunes Show, which belongs to Warner Bros., Survivor Fan Characters, which belongs to SWSU-Master on Deviantart and Smackjeeves, any other characters mentioned belongs to their respective creators! I also don't own the concept of 1 Minute Melee, which belongs to Hyper Gauge!
All right, I will admit this is a random match-up, and... yeah, that's it, it's pretty much random... and I also sort of based this on SWSU-Master's Survivor Fan Characters, but I figured the guy did two 'Fans VS. Canons' seasons, and I thought, for fun, why not pit the canon that went the farthest in the first SFC: Fans VS Canons season go up against the canon that went the farthest in the second SFC: Fans VS Canons? Again, it was a little bit farfetched, but I figured I can probably work it in! Either way, I hope you enjoy this next 1 Minute Melee! Anyway, enjoy!
1 Minute Melee!
Where the most fun people have is in the fight!
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! One victor!
GO!
(Probst Recreation Center)
For people that had not caught up with reality TV, recently, a show based on the classic 'Survivor' had been the talk of the world. Though a few didn't understand the premise, there were many fans of the classic TV series 'Survivor' who got the idea of this series known as 'Survivor Fan Characters', where characters made by people from other shows usually compete on an island for one million dollars. There have been a lot of seasons, but none were as much talked about as Survivor Fan Characters 4 and Survivor Fan Characters 12... which, for most, were met with mixed reactions, mostly negative. Although, there were a few that liked the idea, mainly because of the favorite characters from the series they represent that come out and play... and those were the canons. In both seasons of Fans VS Canons, ten fan characters compete with ten canons from their respective series, which was a pretty interesting twist in and of itself. There would be characters that came from nodes that are well known, like Sonic the Hedgehog and Mario, but also nodes that aren't well known, but because of their appearance, they did catch more attention, like The World Ends With You and Tokumei Sentai Go-Busters. And it was because of these seasons that occasionally, each month, these canons would meet up together and catch up on old times, asking what they're up to.
In fact, in the Probst Recreation Center, this was exactly what was going down right now. The twenty canons and their few friends that they brought along were mingling and catching up with each other.
Bowser, sitting alongside Bowser Jr., was busy drinking some punch as Bowser Jr. was still resisting the urge to rub against furniture. As Bowser took another sip, all of a sudden, a goggle wearing man wearing black teleported as he smiled, "Ca ve, ca ve, Majeste..."
Bowser looked over and gave a frown. "Oh... hey Enter. Thought you'd be too busy with going after your Go-Busters or whatever."
"I didn't want to miss this." Enter gave a smirk as he opened up his laptop. "I have a feeling this party is going to be... interesting... anyway, what's with your son? He seems to act like... a cat?"
Bowser sighed. "It's a long story."
It was at that moment Sephiroth came over as he sat down, looking over. "What's going on over here?"
"Oh, Enter here thinks there's something about to happen." Bowser said. "What it is, I doubt he'll tell me."
"Ah, but that is the best part, non? You just have to wait for the surprise!" Enter gave a smirk as he got comfortable.
Meanwhile, over near a barbecue, SpongeBob Squarepants was happily humming to himself as he was wearing his underwater helmet and cooking up some burgers. Squidward, also wearing an underwater helmet and who was sitting nearby, gave a roll of his eyes as he called out, "SpongeBob, hurry up with those patties! The Krusty Krab may be the caterers, but you know Mr. Krabs doesn't pay us to play around."
"Be right there!" SpongeBob sang as he started finishing up the patties fast as a big plate of freshly cooked Krabby Patties were cooked up. "Here we are, a nice batch of delicious Krabby Patties for everybody!"
SpongeBob then came over and put the Krabby Patties on a big buffet table as Mr. Krabs (like SpongeBob and Squidward, also wearing a water helmet) was nodding.
"Excellent work as always, boy-o!" Mr. Krabs smiled as he pulled out a megaphone and coughed. "Attention, canons and fellow friends. The buffet is now officially opened! That'll be $2.99 a round!"
Everyone glared at Mr. Krabs as Mr. Krabs suddenly noticed that some of them had pulled out weapons, Rebecca Chambers with a gun, Maggie Greene and her sister Beth a crowbar, Bulma holding some type of machine as Vegeta seemed ready to glow at any time, Sora and Riku held out their Keyblades respectively, Bowser seemed ready to cook some crab, Lilly Pendragon, Samus and Reed pulled out their swords, Sephiroth summoned his scepter, Shiki put down Mr. Mew as the stuffed animal turned animate, and Kim Possible and Ron Stobbable were going into a stance.
Mr. Krabs gulped. "Er, and by $2.99 a round, I meant, you can eat for free!"
Everyone put their weapons away as Mr. Krabs sighed in relief. Although Lilly, a girl in a aristocratic like outfit put her sword away in disdain, Samus and Reed noticed Lilly's disappointment. They quickly whispered to each other before nodding. Reed nervously walked over to Lilly as he coughed. "Er, my lady? You seem a little... down."
"Ugh, I suppose you can say that." Lilly Pendragon frowned. "I don't get it. I'm a good partner."
Samus resisted the urge to say 'Define good' in there as Samus took a deep breath.
"And I managed to get farther in my season than any other canon." Lilly Pendragon gave a smile.
"An accomplishment that is pretty good, milady." Samus nodded.
"...Here's what I don't get..." Lilly took a deep breath... before angrily pointing towards a rabbit in a purple sport-like dress sitting next to a grey bunny, sarcastically rolling his eyes and a black duck who seemed to be eating some Chinese food that was personally delivered to himself. "...how did the bunny here win her season? How is she the first canon character to win something... fan-related?"
Reed paused as he and Samus looked at each other before Reed said, "My lady, out of due respect, Lola Bunny is in a different season than you."
"Maybe so, but that doesn't excuse the fact that she got far and won, whereas I didn't!" Lilly frowned as she crossed her arms and pouted. "It's not fair, that's the problem..."
"Well, there's nothing you can do about it now. I mean, it's not like you can regain your honor..." Samus said, absentmindedly.
Lilly caught it as she gave a smirk, an idea striking her mind. "Ohhhhh... Samus, you may have struck gold with this one... maybe she did better in placement... but how is she in the battlefield? I mean, between the three of us, I have done a lot of the fighting!"
Samus and Reed looked at each other and shook their heads as they turned to Lilly Pendragon as she laughed. "So it's settled, then!"
Lilly then started to march over to the table where Lola, Bugs and Daffy are as Samus and Reed looked at each other. Samus then asked, "Should we stop her?"
Reed shook his head as he said, "Let's just watch. I want to see where this goes..."
Meanwhile, over at the table, Lola Bunny was busy putting her arm around Bugs as Bugs sighed. Lola didn't notice as she said, "Isn't this great, Bun-Bun? I mean, this is your first Canon party!"
"Lola, I've been to every Canon party each month, in fact, you literally dragged me there each time." Bugs Bunny said, matter-of-factly. "If anything, this is more Daffy's first time here."
"Oh my gosh, like, that is so true!" Lola gasped as she turned to Daffy. "What do you think of the party, Daffy?"
"Terrible. I mean, who doesn't serve Chinese Food at a party?" Daffy Duck frowned... then paused. "On the other hand, there's no pizza here either... I should call for delivery... that is, if that crab guy can give me my phone back!"
Daffy then gave a glare towards Mr. Krabs, who was just humming to himself as he was counting the contents of his wallet. Daffy scoffed. "I have my eye on him."
"Daffy, you left your phone at home. You were using my phone and that crab guy took it from you after Chinese delivery got here." Bugs sighed.
"Well, I was in the middle of a good Angry Birds game!" Daffy frowned.
Lola gave a chuckle as she said, "Oh, you boys, always with your antics..."
"Hey! You! Purple dressed bunny!"
Lola blinked as she turned to see Lilly Pendragon coming up to her. Lola gasped as she said, "Oh my gosh, I know who you are!"
Lilly gave a confident smirk.
"Captain Hook!"
Lilly's smile then faltered as Lola let go of Bugs and pulled a camera out of her purse as she put her arm around Lily and snapped a photo. "Captain Hook, I have been, like, a big fan of your work! You know, I've always wondered, what was life in the seas? Wait... why am I speaking about it... you obviously know about it... what with you going on the Black Pearl... speaking of which, how is Orlando Bloom? Is he still charming as ever... I mean, obviously he is, since he's shooting down those Orcs..."
Lilly frowned as she pushed Lola off. "Get off me! First of all, you're getting your franchises mixed up! Second of all, do you even see a hook on my hand? No? Good! Third... I'm not a pirate! I am a royal aristocrat! Lilly Pendragon, only daughter of Gustav Pendragon!"
"Oh, is he a pirate too?" Lola asked.
"We're not pirates!" Lilly growled. "We're royalty! He was the mayor of Tinto! He, and in extension, I am in charge of the mining industry, where we keep..."
"...your pirate treasure, yeah, I know, sounds like a fun life!" Lola smiled.
Lilly growled. "I. Am. Not. A. Pirate!"
"Then. Why. Are. You. Wearing. That. Pirate's. Hat?" Lola repeated Lilly's punctuation ways... then laughed. "Wow, sounded serious there for a moment."
"I am not here to discuss whether I'm a pirate or not! Lola Bunny, I'm here to challenge you to a fight!" Lilly Pendragon yelled.
The sound of her voice was enough to grab everyone's attention as they all turned to see Lilly looking down at Lola. From nearby, Enter gave a bit of a smirk.
"A fight?" Lola asked in confusion.
"You heard me, a fight! You may have won your season of Survivor Fan Characters: Fans VS Canons, and I may have had third place in my season of Survivor Fan Characters: Fans VS Canons... but I do know that you can't beat me in a fight!" Lilly smirked. "I mean, I have a sword, I have a Unite Attack, and I have the honor of holding the Chikyu Star! What do you have?"
"Oh, I bet I can top that!" Lola smiled. "Let's see... I'm very persistent when it comes to chasing down Bugs... although he can't help it, he's just that great of a guy... oh yeah, I've survived a lot of crazy stuff that's happened to me plenty of times..."
"You'd be surprised at how crazy her stunts can get." Bugs pointed out.
"...oh, I'm also good with a basketball." Lola said as she pulled out a basketball and started to spin it around. "I don't know why, but it looks really fun to do!"
Lilly laughed. "Like I thought, you don't have anything! Aren't you a doll, Doll?"
Lola stopped slowly in her tracks as her eye slightly twitched. "Did you just call me, 'Doll'?"
"Got a problem with that, missy?" Lilly asked.
"As a matter of factly, I do." Lola frowned as she stood up. "I don't mind being called many things, lovely, pretty, nice, good-looking... heck, most of it can come from Bun-Bun... but there is one name that you should never call me... and you should learn this lesson well... don't EVER call me 'Doll'. All right... challenge accepted."
Lilly gave a smirk as she pulled out her sword, as Lola spun her basketball. But before they could move, Enter teleported between them.
"Ah, the fighting moment. Isn't it just wonderful?" Enter smiled.
"Oh, hey Enter, I didn't expect to see you here, but then again, I don't think anybody was..." Lola started.
"Hey, do you mind?" Lilly asked. "I want to get to my match with the rabbit!"
"Don't worry, mademoiselle Pendragon, you will get your moment in the sun soon, but I would like to draw everybody's attention to this box." Enter said as a box appeared in the middle of the stage. "There was a reason I arrived at the party late... actually, I arrived early first and foremost... and scanned all of you canons and copied your abilities and weapons and put them in this box. I knew a fight between these two would break out, but to make this a fair fight, you won't rely on your abilities alone. No, you will also have to rely on the abilities of the people you made friends with in your respective season of Survivor: Fan Characters. So... every ability, every weapon, they are all in this box, should one of you need it."
Bugs frowned as he said, "How did you know about-?"
"No more questions, monsieur Bugs Bunny! I believe the battle is about to take place. You might want to step back, I'm going to create a little force field so that nobody gets hurt during the fight!" Enter said as he teleported back a few feet as everyone backed away.
"HEY! This better not be wrecking me profits!" Mr. Krabs protested, but it fell under deaf ears.
"Go Lola! You can do it!" SpongeBob cheered.
Minerva Mink, who was sitting nearby, paused. "Hmmm... normally, I wouldn't root against my fellow Warner Bros. co-stars, but... I actually want to see if Lilly Pendragon will win this one."
"The Bear will have to agree with that." Polar Bear said as he adjusted his shades, everyone watching in anticipation as the force field was set up.
Once the force field was up, Lilly looked around... before pulling her sword out and smirking. "Okay, let's do this!"
"Of course!" Lola said, spinning her basketball.
UNCONVENTIONAL, BUT A BATTLE IS A BATTLE!
FIGHT!
(60 Seconds)
Lola started the battle as she dribbled the basketball and started talking, "Okay, so you never know how often I say this, but I'm not usually a basketball player... I mean, I can play it, but I'm still learning the basics... though maybe I'm thinking of lacrosse... I mean, with the nets and all that..."
Lilly gave a smirk as she ran over and started to use her sword to swipe over at Lola as Lola yelped, hopping away as everyone winced. "Hey! You know, it's kind of rude when you attack in the middle of one of my stories! Which reminds me of a guy I know that was telling this big story that..."
Lilly then started to swing her sword rapidly as Lola yelped, paying attention as she hopped up and kicked Lilly down. Lilly yelped as she fell down on her rear and rubbed it.
"Okay, I need to regain my honor for this... and I don't need Samus and Reed to help me." Lilly took a deep breath. "I mean, this rabbit's an idiot, how hard can she-?"
As Lilly was about to get up, a basketball struck her head as Lilly almost fell.
(50 Seconds)
Lola gave a chuckle as Lilly groaned, getting up. Lilly then noticed the box in the middle that Enter had left. Curious, Lilly ran over to the box and quickly pulled out a mallet, similar to the Ice Climbers. She assumed that P. Bear must have been stole that mallet from one of the Ice Climbers, but either way, she used the mallet as a bat to bat away the basketball away.
Lola's eyes widened as Lilly tapped the mallet from her hand, giving a smirk. Lola frowned as she dug around the box and pulled out a grappling hook. Kim Possible's eyes widened as she felt her pocket and pulled out her own grappling hook for comparison.
Lola then shot the grabbing hook at an angle, cleverly swiping up Lilly's mallet as she yelped. Lola then swung the grappling hook around as she managed to get hit out of Lilly. Lilly stumbled a bit, but managed to pull out a handgun, similar to Rebecca Chambers' gun. She carefully aimed the gun and shot the grappling hook out of Lola's hands.
(40 Seconds)
Lola frowned as she dived into the box, seemingly looking for something as a crowbar, Brittnay Matthews' shoes (which Brittnay from 'The Most Popular Girls' in School' loudly complained about and swore at Enter, though nobody could take her seriously with the voice that she had) and Foxxy Love's tambourine before pulling out what seemed to be a bubble wand, much to SpongeBob's interest.
"Okay, let me see if Bobby taught me this right." Lola muttered as she pulled a foot out from behind, spun around quickly, stopped, double taked three times, did a pelvic thrust forward and back, then stopped on her right foot, then spun around to "bring it around town", then started doing some weird hops around the area.
During that time, Lilly took advantage of the distraction as she dug around the box and pulled out what seemed to be a Mr. Mew doll. Lilly put the Mr. Mew doll to the side, knowing it could be useful for later. She then dug around and got out Sephiroth's long sword as she put it to the side of the Mr. Mew doll. She then pulled out another gun, this one being similar to Bulma's blaster gun. She nodded as she armed herself with the gun.
However, during that time, Lola turned to Lilly as she swung the bubble wand around to make a torpedo as Lilly shot a laser blast from the blaster gun. Unfortunately, Lilly got whiplashed a bit as she fell down, but Lola, somehow having control of the bubble torpedo, flew it around and hit Lilly as it exploded in her face.
Lola gave a bit of a laugh, knowing this was fun to use others' weapons.
(30 Seconds)
Lola quickly dug around for more weapons as a Green Lantern comic book (presumably owned by Sheldon Cooper, who was just bored of watching the fight), Phoenix Wright's law book, and even another one of Kim's grappling hooks. She smirked as she pulled out what seemed to be some type of device and laughed. She then pushed the device as she started teleporting around.
Enter, looking at this in amazement, uttered, "My my... so I did put a form of my abilities in some way... tres bien..."
Bugs Bunny just looked over at Enter and frowned as plans started to formulate in his mind.
Over to the fight in question, Lilly recovered as she saw that Lola was teleporting everywhere as she spouted, "Now you see me, now you don't! Le one, le two! C'est la vie! Heh, I can see why Enter uses this teleportation gimmick, it's convenient!"
Lilly frowned as she felt her rage starting to build up. She pulled out her sword again, along with a fire-like rune, known as the Sword of Rage Rune. Samus and Reed yelped, knowing that this rune was a bit powerful for Lilly as she surrounded herself with magic.
(20 Seconds)
Lilly started to explode with fury as Lola stopped teleporting, looking over to see her running in fury. Lola yelped as she started to get slashed with Lilly's sword as Lola backed away. Lola then flew to the side and hit the force field, stopping her mid-flight.
Lilly took a deep breath as she started to dig around the box and pulled out another Mr. Mew doll... along with Riku's Keyblade, Way to the Dawn. She put both weapons down as Lilly decided to cough. "Mr. Mews, activate!"
With that, the Mr. Mew dolls activated as they picked up the weapons next to them respectively. Smirking, Lilly turned towards Lola, who was recovering. She noticed that she was next to her basketball as she picked it up. She dribbled quickly as she started running towards the aristocrat.
(10 Seconds)
The aristocrat stood her ground as Lola started dribbling the ball and head towards her, with a determined look on her face. Lilly smirked as she pointed. "Look, Lola, Captain Hook is here!"
"Really? Where?" Lola stopped, dropping her guard and turning, looking for the missing captain in question.
"All right, Mr. Mews, let's do a Tinto Attack!" Lilly said as she started to glow, the Mr. Mews doing similar movements as Samus and Reed were. She then nodded towards both dolls and pointed. "Get her, Mr. Mews!"
(5...)
Lola then turned back and yelped as she saw two stuffed cats, wielding Sephiroth's long katana and Riku's Keyblade respectively, attacking her as Lola yelped.
(4...)
Lilly gave a smirk as she felt prepared as she started to run over.
(3...)
Lola clung on to her basketball, trying to shake off the stuffed cats slashing at her, but it didn't help that Lilly would join in.
(2...)
Lilly then stopped as she raised her sword toward Lola, whose eyes just shrank.
(1...)
Together, both Mr. Mews and Lilly slashed up Lola in sync as Lola fell to the ground.
KO!
With that, Lola fell down to the ground and fell unconscious as the force field around her started going away. Lilly then gave a smirk as she waved her sword, smiling in victory. "I knew I could do it."
It was then everyone was gathering around Lola, in concern as some people were talking.
"Oh my gosh, is Lola okay?" Maggie asked.
"She should be all right. She's went through some rough stuff before..." Spongebob explained as he looked down at Lola's body and tapped it with his shoe.
Lola's eyes widened as she jumped up. "Cold feet, cold feet... what happened?"
Enter teleported in as he shrugged. "Alas, you, Mademoiselle Bunny, just lost the battle."
"I was fighting in a battle?" Lola asked in confusion... then sighed. "I must have been hit harder than I thought, because I don't remember a battle at all."
"'tis a shame. It was a really good one too." Enter said, making most of the people glare at him, wondering if Enter had somewhat planned this. "Well, I will let you get back to it."
Bugs, who had came out, whistled as he was carrying a grey laptop case, similar to Enter's. Bugs then carefully switched laptop cases as Enter didn't notice. Enter smiled as he took the laptop case unaware. "Well, I'd love to stick around for the after party, but I have some Rangers to destroy. Au revoir."
Before Enter could grab his laptop case, Bugs lit the fuse that was present inside the case Enter was carrying. Bugs then turned towards Lilly, who was talking with a still shocked Samus and Reed. Bugs then came over to Lilly and coughed.
Lilly Pendragon turned to Bugs as she asked, "What is it?"
"You know, Miss Pendragon, you just tried to hurt my girl." Bugs frowned. "And that was not okay."
"Hey, to be fair, she accepted my challenge." Lilly frowned as she crossed her arms. "It's not her fault that she can't fight very well..."
"Eh..." Bugs Bunny said as he smirked. "Well, tell you what, I got a nice little trophy for you for winning. I'm not a poor sport, after all."
Bugs then pulled out a trophy that had an obvious lit bomb. "Please accept this trophy as an honor."
"But of course." Lilly smiled as she took the trophy as Samus and Reed looked over. Bugs turned to Samus and Reed and did the zipping lip motion towards them.
Samus and Reed smiled and nodded as they zipped their lips too.
As Bugs left, Lilly shook her head as she turned to Samus and Reed... then turned the trophy upside down, revealing the bomb that was planted inside.
"Did that bunny really think he'd get me?" Lilly laughed as she picked up the bomb, licked her finger and stopped the fuse. She then picked up the trophy as she started to hug it. "Still, it's a nice trophy."
Lilly then heard another sizzling sound as her eyes shrank. She turned to see that the bottom of her trophy had a fuse that was lit as well. But before Lilly could react, the trophy exploded in her face, knocking her down as she fell to the floor. Samus and Reed then looked over and let out some hearty chuckles, knowing that Lilly was down and out.
"We... hee hee... shouldn't be laughing about this." Reed chuckled.
"I know, but it's just so funny!" Samus laughed.
Bugs then quickly joined Lola as Rebecca had just bandaged her up. Rebecca turned to see Bugs sitting down. "Well, Bugs, Lola's all right, but she's going to have to be driven home for a while."
"Thank you, ma'am." Bugs said as he sat down next to Lola and Daffy, who had fallen asleep during the whole fight.
Lola turned to Bugs with a smile as she said, "Well, maybe I did lose, even though I don't know why we started fighting in the first place, but still, I have to admit, that Captain Hook must be a good fighter."
Before anyone could say anything, Enter had teleported back... all charred in black and glitching out as he glared at Bugs. Bugs gave a smirk towards Enter as he kicked his laptop case to him. Enter, without saying a word, picked up the case and teleported out.
Bugs gave a smile as he said to himself, "Eh, ain't I a stinker?"
It was at that moment Daffy woke up, muttering. He blinked as he asked, "So, what did I miss?"
This melee's winner is...
LILLY PENDRAGON
NEXT TIME, ON SEASON 3 OF ONE MINUTE MELEE...
These brawlers may be tough on the outside, but they have a soft spot on the inside.
And that is this episode of Season 3 of One-Minute Melee! How'd you guys like it? Do you have any criticisms or good comments to say? Leave it in your reviews! Also, if you have any suggestions for One-Minute Melees, please leave it in your reviews, PMs, or if you're on Deviantart and you've seen them on my profile, comment a One-Minute Melee you'd like to see! Maybe I'll put it in my next season! Anyway, thank you all for reading this, have a great day!