Prologue
When did I stop believing in Santa Clause? In all honesty I feel like such a question is rather difficult to answer when taken seriously. How exactly do you respond something like that? If you asked me when I stopped believing there was an old man in the North Pole who worked only on Christmas Eve, I guess the answer is I never believed in his existence. Even as a child I knew it was impossible to circumnavigate the globe on a species of reindeer that doesn't even exist, delivering presents to children everywhere through some omnipotent power of foresight. I think all children realize at the very least that such a story is ridiculous and impossible by normal standards, or is otherwise not a very bright child.
Deep down though, I never stopped believing in the magic of Christmas though. As much as I knew that Santa Clause can't exist in the normal world of logic, a part of me has always held onto the hope that there was a world full of exceptions out there. Of course, for a long time, I was perfectly content with my own life, so I never went off in search of this world where the unknown is commonplace. As wondrous as it seemed, such things weren't necessary to enjoy life. At least, I thought that was true.
You may be asking what happened since my childhood. Well, the simple answer is: I grew up. Although I began to learn just how unsatisfying our plain world was and the idea of a realm filled with magic and mystery grew to be more fabulous, deep down, I still knew it was pointless. Unfortunately, if you asked me how I felt regarding aliens, time-travelers, ghosts, monsters, and espers, all things from the fictional world of cartoons and books, I'd say my childlike optimism never existed for one second. I guess I always knew that even if such people existed, the chances of me getting involved were nonexistant.
Still, it doesn't hurt to try, right?
Maybe I could be walking home from school when an alien spacecraft crash lands on Earth to prove me wrong. I'd spend the next several days trying to convince myself I was having a dream while a floating green man begged me to help him fight a galactic warlord heading towards my town. Or maybe a fellow classmate would reveal him or herself to me, telling me that our school is secretly a front for criminal masterminds, hiding out in refuge as teachers and students in between heists, possibly from as far as the Amazon jungles.
But wait, calm down, is this even possible? Of course not! I can't believe how stupid I'd have to be to expect something like that to happen. If aliens were about to invade the Earth no armies would believe a high school student carrying around what appears to be a toy. Why would thieves of magical trinkets hide out in schools and why would they come to me? Even if such events happened, it doesn't sound enjoyable at all. I could get hurt, or worse! On the off chance that the world is in peril chances are very great that any worlds relying on someone as inexperienced as myself wont be saved from any impending doom. It's childish to think otherwise.
Unfortunately, imagination is cruel, and no matter how much logic and reason I apply to the situation, I can't help but think how much better my life would be if I were to suddenly be attacked by aliens, or taken on a trip through time, or fight giant monsters in an alternate dimension. I am well aware the danger should concern me, but perhaps that's the price you pay for getting out of this boring world us humans live in. Life wouldn't be exciting without any risks after all. It's an adventure, right? Right?
After junior high school these thoughts only grew to overwhelm me. Any hopes of my logic holding me back have long since vanished. I vowed to be more than just a normal, carefree high school student, which is why I continued on, asking aloud if there's any excitement out there. The world was ready to answer me with a flat no, but I wont let it give me such a boring answer. It came to recognize such an answer as perfectly acceptable. That is, until the day it met Suzumiya Haruhi.
Chapter 1
Suzumiya Haruhi you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
Well I for one don't have time for negative thoughts today, so if my mental insecurities could shut up for one day I could go about my business without any problems. Why the hell should I listen to thoughts that only hold me back? Today I will absolutely put the first step of my plan into action and nothing will stop me.
My goal for this school year is simple, to search for any unusual activities or people at this school. Sounds reasonable, right?
If I had taken my time getting ready for school I could've already observed some more students on the climb up this hill to my new school, but there's obviously not as big a crown currently since most other students are probably still cursing time itself for letting another school year begin or slowly preparing long and hard for another boring day as part of their daily routine, practicing how they plan to introduce themselves to their new classroom full of potential friends.
Oh, by the way, Suzumiya Haruhi, that would be me. I spent the last three school years at East Junior High and am now attending North High School for reasons I can't quite discern right now. I do well in school, receiving excellent grades and performing sports and physical activities with ease, and I managed to fit into this school's oddly chosen sailor uniform rather well. I am just your ordinary girl.
Just who the hell would find any of this interesting? This intro is boring!
You may be wondering just what it is I'm after, but in all honesty I'd settle for anything that isn't this. My day has just begun and already I've encountered enough high school cliches to last me a lifetime. I'm not an idiot. I know very well that this is 100% normal, and if I just sit here then I can expect to encounter more ordinary things like this the rest of my life. Whoever's in charge of setting up people's lives is absolutely lazy and I wont stand for this!
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself though. I have realistic expectations that my goal of finding strange activity is low, but I'm bound to find something if I keep looking right? There's a sort of anthropic principle behind these things that something can't exist because nobody's around to observe it, so by beginning my observations, I'm increasing my chances and almost guaranteeing that I'll find something no one else is looking for.
And so I marched up the hill to my new school. Arriving early you can expect to see a slightly different school than the one that would come barging in any minute now. A few other students like me woke up at the crack of dawn, getting ready for the new school year and wandering the halls, catching up on what friends from last year will be in their class and the like. It was your typical scene. How dull.
I met a few teachers, but they all seemed busy. I'll get better opportunities to meet them by the end of the week, so no reason to bother them when they're in such a rush to prepare for when their new class comes in right?
I noticed there were quite a bit of younger looking teachers. Maybe because I'm a high school student now my standards of youth have changed, but from how many I've seen I get the feeling this school merely can't get their hands on any veteran teachers.
I met a fresh out of college teacher, eager to say hello to any new student she meets, as well as a younger man buried in his paperwork, probably getting some last minute work done. Of course, the occasional older teacher would come out and tell me to stop barging into classrooms for no reason. It seems I shouldn't expect much from this school's staff.
This leaves me with students, as I somewhat predicted, although looking around my hopes weren't high. Still, it takes an interesting student to force themselves up early on the first day of school. I know there were students of interest here in the past. There had to have been. And history must repeat itself sooner or later.
I eagerly paraded down the halls, establishing my prediction that I'll probably know my way around the halls before any other incoming first years. I observed every student I could find. Some glanced at me with a warm smile or inquisitive look. Most carried about their business, especially as the crowds grew and more students made their way up that slope, which could easily tire out a less healthy individual.
Unfortunately, I found nothing of interest in my initial search, nor was there anything special said by the principal as he bored all incoming first years to death in the welcoming ceremony. I made my way to classroom 1-5, where more and more ordinary students walked in, ready to be introduced to the new school.
"Welcome to North High. I'll be your homeroom teacher. I am Okabe-sensei."
The man in charge of 1-5 gave his fake sounding welcome, signaling that the first class session has officially started. There was some dribble in there of his likes and interests, although I wonder why anyone would include a sport as tasteless as handball on top of their list. I doubt anyone would take him up on his offer to join any handball clubs.
Okabe-sensei seemed professional, especially compared to the young-eyed students in their simple uniforms. I've got nothing personal against sailor uniforms, but when the boys are given nice jackets you kind of set a standard that can't be matched by a simple outfit as the one I was wearing now. This clearly isn't a very high class school though, so there was no point complaining about how formal the uniforms were.
Most students sat quietly, waiting for our sensei to finish his speech, although it felt like he was eagerly awaiting the end of his chat as well.
"Alright, how about we start by introducing ourselves."
One by one students would stand up and give the same introduction you'd come to expect from a typical high schooler. Eventually, the student in front of me gave his own boring rendition and was seated, leaving me to take my turn next.
I stood up. I had one turn to say this right so I wasn't about to screw up.
"My name is Suzumiya Haruhi. I graduated from East Junior High. I'm not interested in normal humans. If there are any aliens, time travelers, sliders, or espers in here, come find me. That is all."
And this is where my plan would be finished had I been born in a more convenient lifetime. My message has been sent out to everyone, and in an optimal scenario I'd be approached by someone willing to share their strange qualities to someone as curious as myself.
The response was disappointingly that of shock by everyone though. Some gazed at me with looks of uncertainty, although I'm fairly certain I didn't stutter. Then there were those who gawked at me like I myself was an alien. If that were true I wouldn't be wasting my time with the likes of you now, would I?
For the next few days I was generously patient. You see, when dealing with strange matters like this you must be pretty subtle. In the beginning I was approached by many classmates and curious students wondering if the rumours of the strange girl in 1-5 are true, and I'm sure former classmates from junior high have had their fair share of gossip introduced to North High. Ignoring the useless chatter and questions brought on by everyone, I focused on doing everything I could to bring stranger people to me.
Now as much as I'd like to know about what's out there, I'm no more of an expert on paranormal activities than your average high school student, a fact that frustrates me to no end. I can't exactly go on any efficient searches for powerful psychics or unknown spirits if I don't know where to look, so my first priority is to make sure I get noticed first. I'm absolutely certain that out of the many eccentricities I could do to attract the attention of strange beings some of them must be true, and the only way to find these is by trying every possible activity I can to increase my chances.
Experiment #1: I must join every club that has a possibility of having any unusual members in them. Paranormal clubs are the obvious examples, but this also includes clubs that would normally require a large amount of passion or strength from ordinary humans such as sports or organizations. A normal human wont join the Baseball Club unless they were into baseball, but to an alien or esper, baseball is mere child's play. They should be easiest to spot in clubs like these.
The results were disappointing to say the least. Even I was better at these activities than the regular human members, and any club with an optimal name turned out to be greatly misleading. The Mystery Study Group should study mysteries, not books that merely tell mystery stories. Taking clubs nobody would expect me to take proved to be just as pointless. It seems as if every banal activity imaginable attracted the exact same crowd. What kind of normal teenager joins a sewing club? This was a complete waste.
Experiment #2: Inspect every classroom and remember any students that stand out. Wasting no time, I am to go searching the halls and classrooms every day in between classes. Lunch time is especially important since that's when most students are most relaxed and likely to show signs of abnormality. I admit, I found some unique faces, but whenever I found one they always turned out to be a dead end upon further investigation. Just an interesting face with a perfectly normal backstory. It seemed everyone in this school had normal interests and no concerns with overcoming the boredom that has plagued us all.
Needless to say, my own classroom had nobody special either. By the end of the first month just about everyone has given up on making small talk with me. No more girls trying to become my best friend by asserting their own selfish interests on me. No more boys making failed attempts at flirting with me by trying to butter me up with useless questions. I heard a couple boys from my junior high classes have already warned their fellow testosterone laden perverts about me, so I think I have less to worry about in that department.
There was one problem though, and her name was Asakura Ryouko. I have no idea where this girl gets her confidence from, but everything about her just screams affection. She shows strong leadership skills and uses a strong yet gentle voice, making the boys fall head over heels for her while all the girls become her loving army of friends. By all means, she'd be a rather remarkable human if not for the fact that she stubbornly refuses to let a single hand go unshaken, and after a few weeks it seems I was the only one left to be added to her wonderful list of acquaintances.
Whenever there were complaints about me you could bet Asakura was in the lead and always eager to bring me to her justice of normality. Whenever it's time to change for PE I get bothered with her dumb request to wait for the boys in the class to leave before changing. Why the hell should I care about any of them? Our precious Miss Asakura clearly has no troubles escorting these fine specimens of the males of our species outside on her own, so why should I always be on the receiving end of her judging eyes for inconveniencing a classroom of students that have no qualms wasting my time with stupid questions.
Asakura by herself was no real problem. The real concern was the fact that she served as an unfortunate beacon of hope for everyone. Although my troubles with the students of 1-5 have been reduced I still get an annoying pesk bothering me, and why wouldn't they? If Asakura wont give up then they wont either, right? This class was obviously not working well for me, but unfortunately, my experiment of searching other classrooms suggests they're the same as well. This is…unacceptable.
Of course, I never expected much from my early experiments of merely looking blindly for activity. Like I said before, my true goal was to have strange activity find me. This brings me to our third experiment: alternate my hair every day. I followed a simple premise; each day was assigned a number and colour. Monday is yellow and zero, so I would let my hair down untied with a yellow headband. Tuesday was red and one, so I would use a red ribbon to tie up my hair in a single ponytail. Wednesday had my hair tied up into two ponytails in a wonderful blue colour. This patten continued with Thursday being green and three and Friday being gold and four. I had a hairstyle for every day of the week but I had to follow a clear pattern for my searches at school.
This was of course how I met him proper.
His name was [Kyon], but to tell you the truth I never bothered to care about his name at the time. I may have even forgotten it if you asked me to recite it at random, but I, along with many others soon came to know him as Kyon. I had no idea how he managed to get such a ridiculous nickname attached to him, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't find it interesting. Of course, by this point I had learned he had the same personality as everyone else, one that would rival a doorknob in terms of character, so a mere name wasn't much to care about.
I bring him up though, because against all odds he managed to prove I wasn't the only one making observations.
"Do you change your hair style every day because of aliens?"
Just what was he getting at? Aliens. I never had any specific groups in mind when doing my hair of all things, it was just something to make me stand out. Sure, aliens would notice me better if I followed unusual patterns, but that applies to everyone else who might notice me, including astute students.
"When did you notice?" I interrogated.
He stared at the ceiling, apparently having to think for this question. I guess that means he didn't notice just now and blurted the first thing that popped into his head. He's actually put thought into this. I wonder what else he's noticed.
"Hmm, a while now. At least I think so, because you seem different to me every day."
Well I'm sure he'd look different too if we added ponytails onto his head. Is that really all though? I explained my process in about as much detail as I thought was necessary. This was when I got my first look at him.
He wore a face that showed genuine curiosity. Most guys were obviously just asking me questions to get to know me better and make small talk, not caring one bit what the answer was. In fact, I think this Kyon was guilty of the same thing our first week of school. Well this new look in his eyes has earned him another chance I suppose.
His appearance wasn't anything special. Not that I care, but he wasn't bad on the eyes, though I wouldn't exactly call him very handsome. His usually dumbfound expression was often accompanied by his effortless hair, combed over just enough to avoid being messy. If I searched his home I'd probably find the bare minimum of grooming supplies for a young man his age. Nothing too out of the ordinary.
[Kyon], or just plain Kyon, was without a doubt a completely normal first year high school boy. You could tell absolutely that there was nothing special about him, so I have no idea what brought me to ask him something I felt I already knew the answer to.
"Have I seen you before? A long time ago?"
"Don't think so."
And before I could question my loss of reason any further, Okabe-sensei entered the room and my conversation with "Kyon" was brought to a halt.
Of course, this was only the beginning. I know that now.
The first thing I did after school was get my hair cut. I saw no reason to continue changing it daily. Not only was it a pain, but it was beginning to get warm, especially with that long walk up the hill to school, so I'd rather let my hair stay short once the summer started showing signs of creeping up on us unsuspecting victims. Besides, if an ordinary human noticed my activities the way Kyon did, I think the experiment was a success. Any unusual activity at school must have seen me by now. I'm absolutely sure of it.
This didn't go unnoticed, as Kyon felt the need to demonstrate his observations the next day.
"Why did you cut your hair?"
Cause I felt like it, why else? I thought he was only interested in bringing up yesterday's discussion again when presented with the sight of my new shoulder length hair, but to my surprise he only continued and asked about my other experiments.
By this point most students have heard about my activities, but few have actually talked to me about it. It seems Kyon's the only one with the sense to avoid talking about useless subjects dumbed down for their own sake.
This was no isolated incident either. By the end of the week it became clear I've made it into Kyon's daily routine. Whether this was a bad thing or not tended to alternate. Even Kyon wasn't able to come up with something interesting to say every day, and I wont hold it against him or anyone else. If the best you can muster up is small talk though then I'd prefer you just leave me alone today like everyone else.
On days where Kyon actually managed to think up something of greater significance than the usual subjects of TV or the weather I had no problems talking with him. I have no obligation to acknowledge any boring questions, but it would be rude of me to ignore any questions that show actual thought put into them.
One thing I didn't appreciate though were the smiles Kyon received whenever he'd spark a conversation with me. Honestly people, it's not hard to talk to me as long as you're not acting like a moron. There's no need to treat this guy like your hero for accomplishing such a feat.
One time he even asked me for club advice.
"I'm considering joining a club. Are there any that are more fun than others?"
There are no clubs that are worth joining, obviously, but I never knew quite just how to answer these types of questions. Just what was he looking for? If I didn't join any myself what makes you think I'd find one you'd enjoy yourself?
There are none. Absolutely none.
To be honest these daily chats with Kyon had a polarizing effect. On one hand it was nice to have some sign of intelligence, regardless of how flawed it could be, but on the other I'm constantly reminded of my failures. Here I thought I'd have some increased chances of finding true mystery in high school, but everything's just as uninteresting as it always was, and having to explain that to Kyon only made these facts impossible to avoid.
Kyon would often disagree though.
"Well what gives you the right to decide if a club is normal or not?"
"If I like a club then it's unique."
"I knew you'd say that."
Just what was that supposed to mean?
This pattern with Kyon continued a while. I never quite understood his intentions. It seems he just wants to hear me talk sometimes.
Direct questions about my junior high school years dealing with all those dumb boys giving me confessions all the time received an equally direct answer. Hell, I'd settle for anyone if they were interesting, boy or girl. What body they happen to be born with is a pretty minor detail. You'd think it would be obvious I didn't care about that sort of thing after turning down the Asakura brigade's request for "decency".
After indirectly giving Kyon my boring life's story I had regretted letting this habit continue on a semi-daily basis, but it couldn't last forever.
Eventually it was time to change seats, our new monthly ritual. It's been fun Kyon, but I think we've exhausted every possible discussion we could have regarding which of my traits you find interesting or not.
I thought this before I picked a number which led to me being seated right behind a certain young man. I'll let you guess who it was.
Well, Kyon, after spending the first month of school with the back of your neck serving as my primary view it seems this isn't over. What wonderful insights do you have for me today?
"I think it can't be helped if there aren't any mysteries."
This day in particular was a wonderful chance to vent my frustration at the lack of strange things happening. I'm very disappointed that this one boy is the most interesting thing to happen to me in the past month. My standards should never be low enough to accept Kyon as anything resembling a victory.
"Usually humans are content with their state. Those that aren't will just invent something to change that state. Someone wanted to fly, so they invented airplanes. People wanted to travel more easily, so we have trains and automobiles. But these things were created by people with talents. Only a genius can make these imaginations a reality. We ordinary mortals should just live our lives. No need to act impulsive just because you act adventurous."
"Oh shut up."
I shouldn't have expected any better from Kyon. To think he'd expect me to settle for being a normal mortal girl. Who's to say I'm not one of those geniuses who invented a new reality?
As much as I hate to admit it though, he does have a point. My experiments provided no results and I've yet to make any changes in normal high school life for anyone, let alone myself.
Maybe I really am just an ordinary mortal, but that can't be my only option can it?
Say I want to make my own imagination a reality. If I'm not satisfied with the way things are, I can either accept it, or change it myself. I can't fly over the gap without first inventing a flying machine, but am I genius enough to do something like that?
Really, I found that I've been doing the opposite of what Kyon just said was the trait of a genius. I never made any changes, nor did I invent something. I looked at what was already there and hoped something unique and new would find me instead, but if I want to succeed, I need to make it happen myself.
I can't find any unique people, so I must invent them myself right? But how do you invent a person? Perhaps it's not people that are the problem. Right now there's two groups, ordinary humans, and something else. If I'm not willing to create my own group though, what makes me different from these normal humans?
I can't just change the rules though. Nobody will care if I classify everyone into three groups: one for humans, one for aliens and espers and the like, and one for myself. I'll still just be the same, a useless girl who can't breach the gap between mere mortals and the gods that await us. I need something more.
I don't want to be normal, so I must take action into my own hands. By myself I'm just a plain and ordinary high school student, but what's stopping me from becoming more? Kyon seems smart enough. He notices things and is capable of proving not everything that comes out of someone's mouth is idiotic dribble. If the two of us exist, there must be more right?
And there's my answer. By myself I'm just an ordinary human. I'm no genius capable of revolutionizing the world, otherwise my attempts so far wouldn't be such a miserable flop right? I can't expect things to just come to me, I need a reason. I need a group that will be worth joining for all things interesting.
If I found no one interesting in the existing clubs, then I must make my own.
That's it though. It's that simple. My own club. If it doesn't exist yet, then I'll just invent it myself. I'll become the genius that is needed to change the world. If I don't, then who am I to complain when nobody else does? Kyon, I never suspected I'd say this, but you are a genius!
"I got it!"
I can't believe I never figured it out on my own. I can't believe Kyon had the answer this whole time. If it doesn't exist, I'll create it myself!
"Create what?"
"A club!"
Kyon just stood there rubbing his head and covering himself for some reason. Kyon, this was your idea! I understand now! You were right all along! Why aren't you more excited?
"I'll talk about your idea later. Right now you should consider where we are first and then we can share your joy. Calm down."
Calm down? I've been waiting all month for something like this to happen. How can I calm down?
"Class is still in session."
My senses regained, I noticed I've caused a bit of commotion. Well you can't exactly blame me for not paying attention when I just had the epiphany of a lifetime.
"But I have more important things to worry about…"
I reluctantly sat down in my seat. I'm not even quite sure when I stood up. Our young looking English teacher just stood there fumbling to regain her composure.
"Um, so, continuing with the lesson…"
I saw Kyon give me one look of concern before tilting his head back at full attention with the teacher. I don't know how he can think of English at a time like this. I was lucky enough to think up this idea and I have to put it into action.
I'm going to start my own club.
It wasn't hard to figure out who my first co-club member would be. After class I grabbed Kyon's hand and brought him with me. I wandered these halls enough times to know where's the nearest private place to talk.
As I walked towards a small spot outside the Art Club leading to the roof I couldn't help but feel excited as I received those strange looks from people stumbling to get out of my way. By now I'm used to people avoiding the crazy girl rushing towards who knows where, but today was different. Today I had Kyon.
I expected Kyon knew exactly what I was taking him along for, especially given how much he loves making observations. He should be proud of having the honour of being my first companion. No longer will I have to search the halls alone. I have another, and if there's one student here that interests me, there must be more out there somewhere.
Of course, Kyon's not perfect, so maybe he hadn't put the pieces together. As I held his hand I could sense a bit of warmth from his sweaty palms. Maybe he's not used to walking so fast. I never see him at school early so I assume he takes his time getting here. Or maybe he's not used to physical contact with a girl. Kyon, for such a genius you sure can be an idiot sometimes.
Whether he figured it out on his own or not I still have to explain things properly though. Once we reached our destination I let go of his hand, sensing the little tingles that came from our nervous systems touching go away. Before he could pull away I grabbed his tie and brought his face close to mine.
"I need your help."
"Help you with what?"
I don't recall being this up close to a boy's face recently, but it was close enough to tell he was nervously trying to weasel his way out of my clutches with his questions. Letting him go I decided to continue.
There's no backing out now Kyon, I need you!
"I need you to help me make a club!"
"Okay, then tell me, why should I help you do something you just now thought up?"
Why? This was your idea Kyon! I never expected this boy to be so shy. Honestly!
"Because I need a room for the club as well as members, so you find out what paperwork needs to be done."
"What club are you trying to make?"
"That doesn't matter! We need to make the club first. After school you find out about club requirements and I'll find us a room."
I half expected Kyon to give me a flat 'No', but my enthusiasm must finally be rubbing off on him. I was considerate enough to give him the quiet paperwork part of the job since he's clearly not very comfortable with more direct tasks. Don't worry Kyon, I'll handle the hard parts, you just focus on making our dream a reality.
With no objections, I could see that our plan was going into action at last. And to think just a few minutes ago I was still moping about my miserable life. I was an idiot! And I'd still be that same bumbling idiot if it weren't for Kyon's wisdom. Oh Kyon, I swear I could kiss you right now! I don't remember ever feeling this excited before.
Almost wishing I could grab Kyon and take him with me down the halls again I managed to leave him by himself to think. He probably needs things to sink in.
As for me, the eyes watching me as I race down the halls were back to their old selves now that it was just me again, but that wont be the case for long. The next class period will start soon, but I had so much to get ready for after school.
I'll show Kyon, and together we can form our super awesome club. With any luck, we'll have our own group of the most absolutely greatest people in the school. There's no way excitement can run away from me then.
Finally, I had a real plan, and it was finally time to get started on my real work. I had a club to make.