It's been a week since we came in Germany. I honestly never thought there'd be a day where I would leave Midorijima – that I would leave everyone behind. Being here, though, has made me forget all my worries. Being here with Noiz almost makes forget all the terrible things that had happened at Oval Tower.
Every day seems like a new adventure to me. It's been difficult adjusting to a new language, and overcoming the barriers that are built between people because of language, but Noiz has been there every step of the way, guiding me along. He's shown me so many new sights, and introduced me to so many new foods. I remember making fun of him for not knowing different foods back home, and he hasn't forgotten. Every single time I ask he makes a snide remark about how "even children know what it is."
Our first few days there pass in pure bliss, but the time has come. Our truly new lives start today.
Noiz pulls the car up to an impressive pair of gates which lead into a seemingly endless drive. I was surprised at first, knowing he could drive, but I guess that was something else he learned when he disappeared for a few months. I glance around at the surroundings, taking note of the large trees that extend all the way to the sky, their branches twisting and turning as they shoot higher and higher. Well kept bushes line the path leading to what I assume to be his home, and patches of sunlight gleam from in between the leaves.
I glance at him when he rolls down his window to speak into a box attached to the brick wall. When he opens his mouth, I still can't help but feel amazed as his fluent German spills from his lips. It's like magic when he switches effortlessly between his native tongue, and the tongue he was forced to learn. When he finishes speaking, my lips curl into a smile as I tell him, "You amaze me, Noiz." I see his face flush red as he clicks his tongue. Even now he's still trying to act cool.
"It's not that impressive." He mutters back, rolling the window up as the gates slowly creak open.
I chuckle but say nothing more. I turn my attention back to the outside world. Everything is perfectly green and grows exactly as it should. Had Noiz been a slightly more normal child, with a slightly more normal childhood, I would've expected nothing less. But he wasn't normal. Not a single thing about him, and so the normalcy of it all shook me to the core. It was beautiful, but unnaturally so.
After five minutes or so, a large, brick house comes into view. It seems to span the entire horizon until we got closer. Upon arrival, the mansion took up less than the horizon but was still unbearably large. It's difficult to believe that such a house exists in such a quaint area.
We pull up to the front door where a man in a black suit, and white shirt, stands waiting for us. His head is bowed and he doesn't look up even as we come to a stop. Cutting the engine Noiz immediately unbuckles himself and climbs out. Before I utter a word he's on the other side, pulling my door open. He impatiently waits for me to collect my thoughts and get out. "I knew your family was well off," I whisper, "but this is crazy." My heart pounds mercilessly against my chest. The blonde merely shrugs in response.
"Welcome home, Master Noiz." The man, presumably the butler, greets him with a slight nod.
Noiz snorts and doesn't reply. It seems this older gentleman was not on good terms before Noiz took off for Japan. Stepping right past him, he climbs the few steps to the front door and turns the handle. As they were expecting us, the door swings wide open and we step inside.
We are greeted once again, by a maid this time, and his reaction was exactly the same. A feeling of sadness washes over me as I think about the fact that this house holds no fond memories for him. This house was the reason he became what he had. Yet he was back here now because he insisted that what we were doing was important.
"Master Noiz, may I take your coat?" The maid who intially greets us holds out her arms, a forced smile plastered to her thin lips. My blood seems to boil at this ridiculous exchange. To her, Noiz is no master. He is nothing but the dirt under her over-polished shoes.
Sneering at her, his eyes cold, he replies, "No. Tell me where my parents are." The word parents slips through his lips as a slight hiss. It seems to physically pain him to refer to those people like that.
A sense of satisfaction creeps into me as the girl holds back a shudder. Her terse reply makes my insides flip-flop with joy. "Certainly. Please follow me this way. They're in the dining hall waiting for you." She closes the door before turning on heel and heading back towards a staircase. Rather than going up it, she bypasses it and continues further back. We soon come to a pair of shiny red and gold doors. Very slowly she pushes them open. Behind the doors was a room with similar decoration. Red drapes, with gold trim, partially covered windows that reach all the way to the ceiling. A large carpet, possibly with a family crest on it, sat underneath a long table set with the bare necessities. And, at the very far end, were two people sitting on either side.
"Master, Mistress, Master Noiz has arrived." She declares, placing her hands in front of her and bowing.
The two of them look up and my heart skips a beat. I can see Noiz in them. The shape of his eyes and mouth, the colour of his hair and his overall build. I can see it, but I almost don't want to. These are the people who did such awful things to him. Shaking my head slightly, I look at them head on. There's no reason to look away, or to be ashamed.
"Thank you, you're dismissed." The man sitting at one end replies, setting down a pair of silverware. The maid bows before disappearing out the doors. Once she's gone, he stands. "Noiz." His voice cracks ever so slightly, as though he hasn't spoken in a long time. Fire rages in my belly again. It's going to be a long day, full of emotional roller coasters, I can tell.
"Father." Noiz's greeting is cold; emotionless.
The woman, who I understand is his mother, looks up as well. Her eyes are a perfect copy of Noiz's. When she opens her mouth she utters a single phrase, "Wilkommen zurück , meine liebling." From where I'm standing it almost appears as though she has tears in her eyes, but I must be imagining things.
"Ich bin zu hause." Noiz mutters, looking away. Silence hangs in the air. Those words, which I've learned well, seem to pain him more than anything else today. He never thought he'd be back, and yet we're here. I want, so badly, to reach out and wrap him in my arms but I hold back. That would be inappropriate right now.
Suddenly his father coughs before motioning us closer. "Anyway, since you're here, please sit. Join us." He lowers himself back into his seat and picks up his silverware again. "I feel like there's much to discuss."
I snort quietly. They have no idea. This thought passes through my mind. Shaking my head I discard it. At least thoughts like those are keeping my nerves from overflowing. The next few hours are sure to be a difficult task.
Noiz grabs me by the cuff of my suit while I'm deep in thought and drags me down to the end of the table. His fingers are shaking but his face remains calm. "Where is brother?" He asks as he takes a seat two down from his mother. He pushes me into the chair to his right.
"Unfortunately he had some business to attend to." His mother replies with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. Just like everyone else. "He should be home later though." She sticks a piece of sausage in her mouth and chews carefully.
"But enough of that. How've things been, Noiz? We haven't talked in so long I'm sure there are many things to tell us." His dad speaks now as he wipes his mouth with a fancy, cloth napkin. For the first time today, I see a genuine smile – one that reaches all the way to the corner of his eyes. When I had been inside Noiz's head I remember seeing one person with a least a little sense of reason. This was him.
"Not really." He answers nonchalantly, plucking a doughnut off one of the plates closest to him. Reaching out he grabs another one and hands it to me. Hesitantly I take it. For a brief second I feel a little lonely, thinking of Granny back home, but it passes quickly. Nibbling at it, I sit back and watch the awkward exchange between these people he calls family. I can't find a good time to say anything so I keep quiet.
His father chuckles at his reply. "You haven't changed much have you? Still as anti-social as always." His wife's shoulders visibly stiffen. "I see you've gotten rid of all those unsightly piercings."
Noiz shoots him a look and clicks his tongue in annoyance. "Che."
The man raises his eyebrows. "Do you disagree?" He sets his used napkin to the side and leans forward, placing his against his now templed fingers.
"Of course not." He bites. "It's not like I got rid of them because I really wanted to."
"Oh no?" The smile is slowly fading and it sends chills down my spine. This has gone downhill just a little too quickly. "Did you really enjoy having your face full of holes?"
"It's better I have visible holes, than holes in my heart." He mutters heatedly. What a thing to say.
Now it's his fathers turn to look annoyed. "Please speak up, Noiz."
"Fuck off." He shoves the rest of the pastry he was holding in his hand into his mouth. He flops back against the chair and folds his arms across his chest. He looks like a pouting child. Looking at him I notice a piece flaking from his lips. Sighing, I grab the nearest cloth and instinctively reach out to clean his face. I don't realize what I'm doing until I've already done it.
His mother, who's gone silent, speaks very suddenly. "Speaking of which, Noiz, who is this young gentleman? You haven't even introduced us, yet."
He gives me a sidelong glance. He seems irritated. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I think, giving him my best apologetic look. Without giving me a second glance he replies, "Seragaki Aoba."
His mothers face contorts as the information clicks in her head. "Se-sera-gaki A-a-oo-ba?" My name awkwardly rolls off her tongue. I hate it. I hate the way she says it, the way her voice struggles. I don't want to ever hear her say it again.
"Seragaki Aoba, mother." Noiz is struggling to keep it cool. Ever since our incident with Oval Tower, he's hated anyone else mentioning my name. Mink, Clear, and Koujaku. It doesn't matter who. They all get the coldest treatment.
"Is he a fr-" She stops herself. "Is he an acquaintance of yours?" My blood urges to boil over when she corrects herself. Of course I'm his friend. Why else would I be here?
"Something like that." Noiz takes another doughnut from the plate and stuffs it into his mouth. Despite his seeming dislike of sweet things, I notice he has been eating them more often lately. Perhaps, now that his senses are back, his taste for sweets has increased.
I'm also highly distracted by his sense of calm. Ever since we arrived here, Noiz has stayed cool and collected. It bothers me. Despite having feeling again, Noiz doesn't appear afraid of anything, not emotional pain, and certainly not consequences. His lack of childhood, of course, lent a hand in this and it bothers me. A lot.
Cocking her head, she asks, "What do you mean, 'something like that'?"
Licking his fingers one by one, Noiz confidently replies, "My partner."
Still looking confused, she asks, "Your partner? Do you mean a business partner?"
He snorts loudly and shoots her a look. "Mother, I'm not nearly that straight and narrow. I mean he's my fiancé."
"Come again?" His father speaks this time, his lips drawn into a very thin line. "Speak clearly, Noiz."
Clearly fed up and agitated, Noiz opens his mouth and says very bluntly, "He's my lover, get it? My boyfriend? My fuckbuddy? A friend with benefits? How more fucking clearly do I have to say it." My face immediately turns a bright, ruby, red. He doesn't have to spell it out that clearly does he? I take very quick glances at his parents faces and my heart sinks. There is pure horror in their eyes.
"Please say you're joking, Noiz." His father has lost any smile he was wearing.
"Why should I? It's true." Reaching for another pastry, his hand is grabbed by his fathers. "Let go of me." He demands, his voice a low growl.
"I won't until you stop dicking around." His father hisses, tightening his grip until his sons fingers twitch.
"I said," Noiz raises his arm and shakes it violently, "let go." His wrist is freed and he retracts his arm back to his chest. There are red marks where his father was holding. "I'm not dicking around, Father." There's venom in his words.
The older man looks back at us with something akin to hatred. The friendly guise disappears, and his true nature starts to leak out. "I won't accept this. Not in my family."
"He's right, Noiz. You can't just come home and drop something like this on us. What about the family? What about the future of our bloodline? You'll put that all on hold for some stupid, childish, whim? You won't even like him in a few years, just like everything else in your life." His mothers eyes were wide and she stares at me with such intensity my skin crawls.
What is with these people? I think to myself. Can't they just be happy?
Suddenly Noiz laughs. He laughs loud enough for it to echo throughout the cavernous hall. It sounds hollow. Vacant. Opening his mouth he replies, "Family? Bloodline? What the hell are you even talking about? You locked me up in a room until I practically went crazy. You called me a monster, and said that, maybe, I shouldn't have even been born. All these years later, when I may have found happiness, you spew all this bullshit about keeping our family line going? Fuck you." Peeking at him, I can see his eyes are alight with pure, unabated anger. "You can't just decide to play family when it suits you, that's not how it works." He spits the last few words out.
I've never seen him talk so much; never seen him get so worked up. My heart aches knowing this how he feels. How he's forced to feel.
Both parents turn to glare at me, their eyes boring holes into the deepest part of my soul. "You." His father hisses. "What have you done to my son?"
"I-" I open my mouth to speak, but Noiz puts a hand over my mouth.
"He's got nothing to do with it."
"Let him speak." His father demands, slamming his now fists into the table. Noiz keeps his hand over my mouth. The man he refers to as father is absolutely seething. Froth practically falls from his lips and his face is red all the way to his ears.
"Liebling, let him speak." His mother speaks now, an almost mocking sweetness in her words. Still refusing, he looks away from her. Immediately she puffs up, turning just as red as he husband. "Noiz, you let him speak this second or so help me-"
"What? You'll lock me up in a room again? Because obviously that worked so well the first time." His mouth curls into a cruel smirk.
This was going absolutely nowhere. Although I was having some trouble keeping up with their German, I was getting the gist of it. I knew it was going to turn out like this but I let it happen anyway. Mentally sighing I reach up and grab my lovers hand. Before lowering it, I gently kiss it, letting him know it's okay. He resists me at first, but let's me bring it to my lap anyway. Still red in the face, though no longer because of my embarrassment at Noiz's blunt ways, I turn to his parents and take a deep breath before speaking my mind:
"What right do you have to say about his life? You locked him up as a child, without every trying to understand him. Your status was more important to you than the health and well being of your own kin. You locked him up until he forgot what it was like to feel love. To feel hate. To feel anything. Locking him up in their all those years locked away his heart. To him, there was nothing worthwhile in this world. He learned to believe that nobody liked him, just because he was him. They liked him only to get his money, or to get favours. There was nothing good in this world for him. It's entirely your fault that he went around doing reckless thing, just so he could feel something again. With no sense of feeling, it's difficult to feel a sense of living." The words tumble out of my mouth in broken German that is none-too-eloquent.
"And what would you know about any of that, brat?"
"What would I know?" My eyes narrow. "I broke that. Despite everything, his harsh words, his constant aloofness, I stood by him and held on. I was afraid to let go, because if I let go, I would lose him. He'd never come back. So I clung to him hoping that I would be able to show him a world where there was beauty. Where people aren't only after the things you have, but the person you are." I take a deep, shaking, breath. "I was tired of seeing him hurt, and alone. Even though he couldn't feel the pain physically, I could see it eating away at him, mentally. I would save him. And I did." I can feel Noiz's eyes on me but I don't look at him. I can't. I don't want to know what his green eyes are saying right now.
Although I know Noiz understands, I can only hope his parents do as well. Until right now, I had never cursed my ineptitude at his native tongue. How can my feelings be properly conveyed if the people I'm conveying it to can't understand me?
His father chuckles quietly but the volume increases until he's almost bellowing. His laughter burns in my ears and I instinctively go to cover them until the noise dies down. "Save him? Are you kidding me? There's no way to save a child already lost at birth."
"There is." I state firmly. They understand me.
"There's not. He's forever lost. You can take away his piercings, and give him back his sense of pain, but nothing about him has changed. He's still just as much of a monster now as he was then. Nothing is different-"
I jump to my feet. The bubbling in my chest is overflowing and I can no longer hold back. "He has changed!" I scream. The words tumble out of my mouth, almost incoherently. "I've seen him change. I know he's changed. Do you want to know why I know? I know because he fell in love with me, that's how. He could've continued on with his cold, distant ways but he didn't. He opened up his heart to me and laid it all bare. If he hadn't changed, I wouldn't have been able to see."
"Noiz isn't capable of feeling love-" His mother interjects.
I whip my head around and give her the coldest, hardest, look I can and spew, "And who's fault is that?" I relish in the taken-aback look on her face. My words are like needles directly to her frail heart. "I don't know what else we can say to prove our point so we're done here. We have nothing else to say to you." Reaching for Noiz, I yank him out of his chair and turn on my heel. He drags his feet behind me until he pulls me to a full stop. Turning around, with the intention to yell at him, I stop. His eyes are glowing with a love so pure it makes my heart stop and his grin so genuine it's like I'm in a dream. He pulls his arm from my tight grip and turns to his parents.
"As he said, I don't have anything left to say to you. I knew this was going to happen but it was important to me. Granny already agreed to it, back in Midorijima, so I thought I should tell you, too." He snorts. "It was a mistake, but let me leave you with this." Noiz turns back to me, and grabs my chin. Without a seconds hesitation he leans in and kisses me. He kisses me until my vision is white and my knees buckle. Catching me before I fall he wraps an arm around my waist. I can tell my face has gone the darkest crimson it can but I don't care. I was happy to see their brains turn to mush as they try to process what had just happened.
Then, with a loud "Humph," and without a second glance backwards, we exit, leaving his stunned parents behind, my weak knees struggling to hold me up.