„I'm scared."
„So am I."
„No, you're not."
„Yes, I am."
„You're not scared of anything."
„I am this time."
„Of what are you scared?"
Harry was silent for a minute, absently playing with Ginny's flaming red hair.
"Harry?" she asked.
He sighed and avoided her gaze.
"I'm not scared of Voldemort. I know it sounds like I'm showing off, but I'm not. I just … want it to be over, not fear him forever. You know?"
"I know." Ginny said and smiled at him.
"What are you scared of them?" she added, looking curious.
"He's not stupid." Harry said, his voice suddenly hard.
"He knows exactly how he can get to me. That torturing me isn't going to do anything."
"I see."
"Well, you knew that."
"That's not what I meant. You said, torturing me, wouldn't do any good. You're scared he'd use Ron or Hermione, aren't you?"
"Not just them. Everyone I care about."
"Do I fall into that category?" Ginny asked archly, a glint in her eyes.
Harry couldn't help but smile and feel a wave of comfort wash over him.
She always knew how to take a burden off his shoulders.
"No, you don't." he said.
"Huh?" she asked, looking surprised and angry at the same time.
"You get a special category. Just for yourself, so you have enough room." He said grinning.
"That's even better." Ginny said satisfied and leaned against his chest.
Harry put his arms around her and they didn't speak for some time, just watching the fire, each of them lost in their own thoughts.
"Do you think…" Ginny began and broke off again.
"What?"
"Well… do you ever think about … death?" she asked, chewing on her bottom lip.
Harry laughed dryly.
"Ginny, you do know who I am, right? How can I not think about death all the time?"
"That's not what I meant." She mumbled and sighed.
"What did you mean then?"
"Have you ever sat down and … thought about who will die first? I mean, who has the largest chance of surviving and who will be killed first. Do you ever think about that?"
Harry stared at her with wide eyes. Sometimes, she really surprised him.
"How on earth did you get that idea?" he asked.
"It's what I think about." She whispered and looked at her hands.
"You do?"
"Yeah. I know it's kind of sick, but I can't help it. I can't help it, that every night before I fall asleep I think, that Ron and Hermione will be first, because they're so important to you, that Tonks would have a pretty good chance of surviving if she wasn't so clumsy, that … that maybe if Dumbledore was still here it would all be easier."
"That's what I think. It would definitely be easier with Dumbledore still around."
"I'm not sure."
"What do you mean, you're not sure?" Harry asked confused.
"You just said it yourself-"
"I think it would be, but I'm not sure. I mean, of course, where would we be without him? What could you have figured out for yourself? Would any of us still be alive, if it wasn't for him? And then again… did you realize, how much Dumbledore wanted you to take matters into your own hands? I think he knew, that he wouldn't be around forever, and that you needed to be able to stand on your own two feet, when he left. That doesn't really make sense. I know, it's just… I think we'll be able to take care of the situation ourselves, now that he's gone. It doesn't mean we'll lose."
Harry was speechless. He knew how bright Ginny was and how she always seemed to be able to read his thoughts. But this outburst had caught him by surprise.
"What do you think?" Ginny asked him, turned around and stared at him.
Her huge dark chocolate eyes were reflecting the fire.
"I think I agree with you. On every point, except one."
"What's that?" she asked.
"We'll be able to take care of the situation? You will definitely not be included in that we."
Ginny groaned and rolled her eyes.
"How often have we discussed this?"
"Not often enough it seems."
"Oh, shut up. You know as well as I do, that when the time comes, I'll be right next to you."
"I know." Harry muttered disgruntled.
"That doesn't mean I like it. Not one bit."
"I know you don't and I appreciate it, of course. But you won't be able to stop me. I've too much of a temper for you to control." She said and grinned.
"Very true." Harry said and smiled back at her.
"You see? No need to discuss this any further. I'm on the team."
Harry stiffened.
Ginny felt it immediately and turned around.
"What's wrong?"
But Harry didn't answer. He pushed Ginny forward so she wasn't leaning on him and got to his feet.
"What's the matter?" she asked again, looking startled and slightly hurt.
Harry paced around the empty Common Room for a bit, trying to suppress his anger.
"For god's sake Harry, you're driving me mad!" Ginny said exasperated.
"You're in on the team?" Harry yelled, perfectly aware of the fact that it was rude to yell at his girlfriend.
"What's your problem?" Ginny said.
"It sounds like you think this is some game! An adventure with your friends! It sounds like you think this is going to be funny and exciting! And why wouldn't you? You have no idea what it's like! You haven't seen him! You don't know anything-"
"Don't you dare!" Ginny snarled, her eyes flaring in anger.
She had gotten up, too, and was standing in front of Harry, shaking with rage.
"What?" he asked, taken aback.
"Don't you dare accuse me of all that! I have no idea? Do you know who you're talking to? I was being possessed by Voldemort for almost an entire year! Do you have any idea what that was like? What happened to me afterwards? No! And I fought at the Ministry! Do you have any idea what I saw back there, and who I fought? No! And what about this year! My brother was attacked by a werewolf! He will never be himself again! I saw Dumbledore dead! And all I did, instead of grieving or crying or whatever, is take care of everyone, including you! Do you have any idea how I felt, after all that? No! Because you don't give a shit! So don't you dare accuse me of being oblivious to the seriousness of this situation!"
She glared at him, gasping for breath after her rant, bracing herself for a reaction.
But Harry didn't start yelling again.
He didn't say anything. He just stared at Ginny, a huge amount of guilt piling up inside his chest, weighing down his heart and making it difficult to breathe.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked, her voice hard.
"I-…" he found he couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say.
Ginny crossed her arms over her chest and continued glaring at him.
Another minute of silence passed.
"Am I really such an insensitive ass?" Harry asked finally.
Ginny's death glare vanished. Her eyes grew soft and a small smile curved her lips.
"Sometimes." She said affectionately.
"I'm … really sorry, Ginny. Of accusing you of all that. I just…snapped."
"You always snap, Potter. You should try and control yourself." She said and winked. But Harry knew she wasn't entirely joking.
"I know I should. I just don't have that much self control. We can't all be wonders of the world like you."
"Don't try it with flattery. It won't get you anywhere."
"I'm not trying to get anywhere. I'm just stating facts."
"Whatever." Ginny said, rolling her eyes.
"Ginny… I never… I never thought about how hard it must have been for you after the Chamber. Or after the Ministry. Or after Bill was attacked and Dumbledore died. I really do only care about myself."
"No you don't." Ginny said softly and crossed over to him, placing her hands on his shoulders.
"You might not be very sensitive about other people's feelings, but other than that, you're the most caring person I know. You risk everything for your friends. You don't hesitate to fight for them. Forget all the stuff I said, I was just angry."
"No. You're still right, and I'm really sorry." Harry sighed.
"Stop apologizing already! I believe you!" Ginny laughed and hugged him.
Harry put his arms around her and placed his chin on her head.
She really was quite short.
They stood like that for some time and the only sound was the fire crackling.
Then suddenly Ginny's head shot back and she looked at him.
"All the time?" she asked.
"Wha-" Harry began, very confused.
"You think about death all the time?"
"I don't-"
"When I asked you, whether you ever thought about death, you said how couldn't you think about death all the time!"
"Well-"
"Does that mean, you constantly think about death when we're together?"
"Excuse me?" Harry couldn't help. He laughed.
Which turned out to be a rather bad idea.
"Don't laugh! This is serious!" Ginny hissed, her eyes flaring up again.
"Sorry." Harry said, trying to keep a serious face.
"Well, do you?" she repeated impatiently.
"Of course not! You pretty much take my mind of everything."
The glare in Ginny's eyes vanished and a faint blush crept into her cheeks.
"Really?" she mumbled, looking embarrassed.
"Really." Harry said and laughed.
"Now don't be embarrassed about that! If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be me."
"I'm not embarrassed." Ginny said quickly.
"I'm .. flattered." She whispered and leaned closer to him.
"I thought flattery wouldn't get me anywhere?" Harry croaked, his heart racing, like it always did, when Ginny came this near.
"Well…" she said. Harry could feel her breath on his face.
"I think we can make an exception."
Well, this was my first one shot, featuring, as you hopefully realized, Harry and Ginny. A pairing, which is, as is proven by JKR herself, unavoidable.
Hope you lot like it…
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