Disclaimer: 'I must go into the world and do noble things for the good of all and you can't come because you don't own anything'. True story someone did tell me that once. Only I couldn't go because I don't speak French.
We were heroes, that much was obvious. It was our job to protect people from all the bad guys out there. It wasn't an easy or always a very fun job, but somebody had to do it. Most of the calls we got were for pranksters and robberies, easy stuff, but every once in awhile we'd have a challenge. Some big time villain trying to take over or destroy the city, it was then that we earned our title.
'(Ghostbusters)
If there's something strange
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Ghostbusters)
If there's something weird
And it don't look good
Who you gonna call
(Ghostbusters)'
There wasn't a lot that could scare me. There was no villain that I wasn't confident that we could beat. What scared me was the thought of Raven getting hurt or worse. This fear, made me push myself and the team harder, so that we could become perfect. I thought that this would help me to worry less.
'I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost'
Our intensive training only caused me to worry more though. Raven and the rest of the team said that Raven, now that she could control her powers, could be more in the action. That she could do more advanced moves. I hated this idea, but I had no choice but to go along with it. There wasn't a really good reason why she couldn't beyond the fact that worry about her safety was slowly driving me out of my mind.
I would lay awake at night, trying to think of new ways to protect her. I suppose you could say that because I worried about her constantly it means that I didn't trust her. But the truth is I do, which was part of the problem. I in my male egotistical way, believe that I am the only one suited, qualified to protect her. The fact that she was perfectly capable of protecting herself was a huge blow to my ego.
'If you're seeing things
Running through your head
Who can you call
(Ghostbusters)
An invisible man
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Ghostbusters)'
I wasn't afraid for myself. In fact I would give my life to keep Raven safe. There wasn't anything that I wouldn't do for her. I would go to hell and back armed with only a penknife to keep her safe.
'I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost'
There were times I wanted to call her just to hear the sound of her voice; I never did too scared that she would be able to read my emotions. There were many times I would start to dial only to lose my nerve at the last second.
'Who you gonna call
(Ghostbusters)
If you're all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Ghostbusters)
I think I mainly worried about Raven's wellbeing because she was female. I functioned under that misguided notion that girls couldn't take care of themselves as well we as men, could. It was sexist of me I know, but we live in a society where men are expected to take care of the women.
It was hard for me to except the fact that she could in fact take care of herself. Part of it I believe was the thought that perhaps she didn't need me or want me the way I wanted and needed her. This thought probably terrified me the most.
'I ain't afraid of no ghost
I hear it likes the girls
I ain't afraid of no ghost
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah'
I remember the incident that started my whole obsession with her like it was yesterday. There was one time after a long and tiring battle I went up to the roof to relax. Not many members of the team spend a lot of time there. Once up there I saw Raven meditating not wishing to interrupt I walked quietly to the edge of the roof and sat down and just stared over the water. Then I heard a voice, "I know that you're up here you can stop trying to be sneaky."
I'd grinned sheepishly and muttered, "I'll leave if you want."
"No it's fine I'm done anyway." She floated over to me, and said, "You know I never did thank you for saving me today, Boy Wonder."
Then she leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. Then before I could say anything she disappeared. That was the beginning of the end of my sanity.
'Who you gonna call
(Ghostbusters)
If you've had a dose
Of a freaky ghost
Maybe you'd better call
(Ghostbusters)
After the kiss that made me realize just how much I actually cared for her. I started to notice how much I missed her when she wasn't around and how much I enjoyed spending time with her. I just wanted to be with her she made me forget my worries, my job and the pressure of the world. Basically she just made me feel good.
'Let me tell you something
Bustin' makes me feel good
I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost'
I eventually made it my secret mission to spend as much time as possible with her. Which had the added bonus of keeping her safe; I felt that if I could see her than there was no way that she could get hurt. Every time she walked through the door my mind instantly went to the kiss and how much I wanted her to kiss me again.
'Don't get caught alone, oh no
(Ghostbusters)
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
(Ghostbusters)
Ow
Who you gonna call
(Ghostbusters)
Who you gonna call
(Ghostbusters)
Ah, I think you better call
(Ghostbusters)…'
One day in pursuing my goal to keep Raven safe from harm, we were alone on the roof just talking about life in general, when Raven leaned over and hugged me, "Robin?"
I look down at the girl who had become both my grip on and release of sanity, "Yeah?"
She mumbled something that was even more muffled by her head being buried in my chest.
"What?"
She lifted her head slightly and look me in the eye...er...mask and said again, "I worry about you."