Despair
By nos482
Disclaimer I dont own the teen titans
The team has grown up.. and Garfield doesn't have Raven anymore but why?
Garfield Logan sat in his messy apartment flopped in a chair a weeks stubble on his face the goofy grin long gone from his features his eyes holding back tears. he nearly dropped the phone "Look man I know you didn't want this news but you knew one of you would get over it eventually and it has been two years man." trying to hold the tears from his face he answers.. "Just tell her I said Congrats alright Vic?" "Sure.." as Garfield hanged up the phone he clutched his head in a sob.. It was his fault he was in this situation his fault that he had to find out that the one girl he had trusted after Terra had not only gotten over him.. but had to find out from his best friend that she was engaged to some guy, full of anger and depression. Grabbing a bottle off his counter he slams the last swig and smashes the bottle against the wall
"Why! Why Why?" he slammed his fist on the counter. "Why The hell Does Karma have to kick me in the ball's all the fucking time!" he paced the room. he doubted if anyone who had known him before he started living on his own would recognise him like this.. in the two years since he left the Tower, he had let life finally get him down.. without friends with their own problems to try to make them feeling better about he had started to get wrapped up in his own, working two jobs for a shithole apartment that despite the fact it was the cheapest building in the city short of rent controlled apartments, he still barely managed to pay the rent on time and feed himself.. he had started drinking to try to bog out the memmories.. especially the last fight with Raven.. but someplace in him wanted to remember..
"Would be nice to talk to Cy again, though it would be uncomfurtable considering him and Bumble Bee are engaged now.." he wished he could get her out of his mind.. he had had "other" girls since the break up.. but never anything more than a one night stand.. the last of which had slapped him in the face for calling her Raven in the afterglow.. shaking his head it was his fault he was in this boat but he had been too proud to admit it, now it was too late to make up about it..
Grabbing his coat and his keys he slams the door making his way to his Gas guzzling clunker slamming the door of the Car he starts it up sounding like it was on its last legs. making his way to the local convienience store he payed for a bottle of booze, and a six pack of bud.
he needed it to sleep anymore, otherwise he would cry out for her in his sleep. always the same dream, he would have her in his arms again, kiss her say he was sorry.. then she would just slap him and storm off leaving him there alone..
Raven sat staring out the window. her new Fiance was a patient man respected her wishes when she said she wanted to wait until they were wed.. he was pretty much everything Beast boy hadnt been, Responsible, serious, patient, yet in her heart he didn't even register in comparison.
his kisses made her cringe, they were sloppy, devoid of passion, and he had almost no sense of humor.. and he insisted on calling everyone by their full name. she mused to herself "oh Gar would go nuts after being called Garfield everytime." she remembered how she used to be the only one who could get away with using his full name.. sighing in despair, the first few months she had hoped he would of came back.. but that hope was dead now.
some of her emotions had alienated themselves from her that day.. Happy no longer giggled and tried to hug her infact she tried to keep well away from Raven if at all possible. Rage had placated down to almost nothing not even speaking most of the time anymore.. Rage missed him.. he had always kept her sharp, and always got excited after a rather heated "Discussion"
Bravery Alienated from her when she started dating with "Clifford" calling him a spineless wimp because he would always submit to her when she got mad "Atleast Garfield would Stand up for himself when he thought you were wrong." was her final reply to Raven as she stormed off.
"Dont focus on it Raven He left you remember.." she said to herself to which one of the emotions she had grown to hate over the two years responded in a despair filled voice "Because you hurt him, you didn't have to blow up like that!." Damned knowledge did she have to remind her everytime she thought about it.. she didnt know why he responded so angrily, they had worse arguments and always made up.. "The straw that broke the Camels back.." "Damn knowledge and wisdom to hell." she mutters to herself. "Shut up about Garfield we love Clifford now Got that?" "Keep Telling that to yourself Raven.. maybe you'll believe it eventually." "Doesn't matter he made it perfectly clear he didnt Want anything to do with us when he disapeared without so much as a god damned phone call.." "and you never sent him one either even though you know Cyborg knows were Beast boy's apartment is.."
a knock was heard on her door the voice was soft and timid "Raven I'm here." she didn't know why she had accepted, he annoyed her.. and not in the good way that Beast boy had.. least with him it was usually just because he wanted to make her smile.. with Clifford it was just because the way he bored her.. anytime she wanted to go out he wouldn't want to do anything, but she was too afraid of dying alone to look elsewhere..
"Come In." in walked a man who was amazingly pale, his hair was blonde and he was skinny, and not a toned skinny either. he was dressed in a sports coat, was amazingly clean "Something wrong Raven?" "Nothing Cliff just thinking." he persed his lips it always annoyed him that she called him Cliff.. but he was too timid to correct her one time suffering her rage was enough to learn his lesson. "well alright what were you thinking about?" "just some stuff in the past." she answers coldly as she slips into her bathroom to put her makeup on.." "Were we going again?" "To register for our gifts Raven." she rolled her eyes he always had to have everything planned out like surprises were evil things musing to herself under her breath "Bet if it was up to him they wouldn't even be wrapped."
Garfield had shaved this morning for work after being bitched at by his boss for the third time. he was still hungover from the night before straining as he loaded the boxes on the shelf. he hated this job, the boss was an asshole, and the clientelle snubbed their noses at him like he was trying to bum on the street corner or something.. "Eh cheer up Gar only about twenty minutes until lunch." "Yeah thanks for the Reminder Tim."
Tim had been the only friend he had made since starting working there, and would periodically go out with him to the bars trying to bring him out of his shell and usually trying to hook him up with some various girl he met.. he reminded Gar of how he used to be always happy always trying to make everyone smile, and he always had a good joke when you needed one.
They were eating lunch in the employee's lounge watching the security camera when Tim jabbed Gar with his elbow. "Hey Gar look at that couple how did a hotty like that end up with a Stick in the mud loser like him, bet he's loaded." looking up the sight he saw made his jaw drop.. "Rae..?"
"oh Come on Gar you gotta be shitting me that can't be the Girl you been obsessing over I mean she's way out of your league." shaking his head as he eats his Tofu egg and bacon sandwhich he mutters "yeah I guess your right.. I mean what the odds of her coming in this shit hole.."
"come on Back to the Salt mines we go before Mr. Tops docks our pay again." grumbling as he slips his employee jacket back on "lets see, Shit I've got Customer assistance after lunch." he always hated when it was his shift for that because the way people treated him..
The bell rang indicating a customer needed assistance.. Gar made his way over flashing a fake smile as he approached only to let it drop when he saw who it was.. a flash of recognition in her eyes before she looked down as Clifford spoke up "Ah yes I was whondering if you could help us, We need to register for a few things for the Roth, Jordan wedding next month."
Garfield couldn't take his eyes off her his heart ached before the man spoke again "Sir?" a pain in his eyes as he nodded "Alright how can I help you today Mr.? "Clifford Jordan." he spoke smugly "Alright Cliff what do you need?" "Clifford I do not like being referred to a hill with a sharp drop thank you. I was thinking some silverware, maybe some fine china sets, that kind of thing.. but I'll leave that up to my Fiance, Excuse me will you." as the snobby man left making his way to look around for other things he thought would be propper to put on the register.
Gar spoke "Long time no see Rae." his tone indicating the pain he felt. she just nodded not even looking at him. "yeah I know, its good to see you again.." sighing "Well I guess we better get busy before my boss starts bitching I'm on thin ice as it is right now with him."
neither spoke about what happened afraid the other would get mad and just kept an awkward silence. until Gar spoke "I see your doing good now." she nodded inside emotions that hadnt spoke for months were all crying out trying to get her attention.. "well how about you how you been doing?" he just shrugs, "I'm surviving another day another dollar."
"So you ever talk to any of the guys?" "I talk to Cy every once in awhile, I haven't talked to Rob since the time I tried to call and he told me you never wanted to see me again, then started calling me everything under the sun other than a friend."
she perked a brow "When was that?" "About a month after the incident." her eyes narrowed in anger at the man formerly known as Robin.. which unfortuenately Gar miscontrued into anger at himself for mentioning it.. "Umm sorry Rae just forget I said anything, I'd still like to be your friend you know."
"umm I guess two years is a long time to hold a grudge over a stupid fight.." scanning a china pattern he smiles at her "yeah I guess." Raven was thinking to herself about several less than friendly ways she was going to greet Dick Grayson the next time she saw him..
Richard Grayson was reading the paper while he smiled at his newlywed wife.. that days mail just beside him as he drank his coffee, "Hey Kori got a letter from Raven its adressed to you." handing it over she slipped open the letter hovering in happiness it had been a few months since the last time her closest Girl friend had written or called.. as she began reading the letter she nearly dropped like a stone
Dear Starfire,
I know its been along time since I wrote, but things have been busy with the wedding. I am writing to let you know that I have ran into a "Lost Friend" of ours, and some of the things he has mentioned have brought to attention a rather rude, and gredious error on Dick's part.. While your welcome to attend by yourself, Richard Is officially uninvited until he has made repriations to the parties involved.
Your friend
Raven Roth
"Dick I know this letter is for me but I cannot think of something you could of done to a "Lost Friend." that could get Raven mad enough to uninvite you.." pushing the letter to him Dick's face blanched at reading it.. "I dont know what she could be talking about Kori." she smacks him across the face "you lie poorly! What did you do to upset Raven and what does it have to do with a Lost friend?" "It was for everyone's own good.." tapping her foot in agitation "and what exactly was for everyones own good?" "well back when the fight happened Beast boy called to appologise, and I told him to leave her alone along with a few choice but poorly chosen words because she was dangerously unstable.."
She looked furious at him storming off "I can't believe you would do that! You knew how much friend Raven was hurting after that!" "What it was all for the best She seems happy with Clifford, and according to Vic, Gar seems happy with his new life I mean come on They couldn't go a whole day without some kind of argument over something."
his only answer was a door slamming and a clue that Starfire was truly mad because she was walking down the street.. "Something tells me I'd almost prefer suffering Raven's temper than waiting for her to come back.."
End of chapter one
A/N Hey everyone you know the Drill Read and Review if you like it (Flames not appreciated but constructive critisism welcomed.)