And I Believed...
I lay in Luxord's arms, treasuring the gentility of the piece blanketed this perfect moment. I've managed to keep Luxord's temper at bay throughout the day. He hasn't beaten me in 24 hours. I must've done something right.
Keep telling myself that I still love him; that he still loves me. That it's my fault.
It has to be. Luxord one hurt me for no reason.
He kissed me this morning, but nothing since. He did this while gently fingering the cuts and bruises that cover my body. He asked my forgiveness. Of course I gave it to him. I can't help it. I love him. He has my body, anyway. I gave it to him two years ago. He can do whatever he wants to me.
It's not that bad, really... And I know I deserve it; it's my punishment. For what I did wrong.
He apologizes every once in awhile, but I always deny it. His beating me is punishment. You don't apologize if it's someone else's fault.
Eventually, these bruises will fade and will be replaced by fresh ones. Scars would be broken and open once more to bleed again.
It was becoming more and more difficult to tell the other members that I received the new cut or bruise on my face from a mission. I think Xigbar suspects something, but he's keeping quiet.
Revealing it would only bring his wrath on worse.
Not to imply that I'm afraid of being beaten, though deep down, I'm sure I am.
Luxord doesn't want to hurt me, I know. Last night, he broke down, crying into my chest. I didn't have the mind to do anything but kiss his tears away.
I've decided. Tonight, I'll ask the truth of him. Whether he loves me not.
By the gods, if any of them care for nobodies, I hope he loves me.
It didn't even think that I could bear to stay alive, hearing that he doesn't.
He hit me.
He lashed out at me, slapping my face. Said it was none of my business, how he felt. He said I was a brat; that I was a stuck up, in grateful child.
All I can do is hold my hand printed cheek and cry.
I love Luxord, or, at least, I think I do.
I don't know what to do anymore. If he doesn't love me, then I have nothing to live for.
All I have to live on are the memories of how it used to be...
Flashback
Luxord held Demyx in his arms, cooing softly to the half sleep teen.
"Lux... I'm not tired." He on, but tried to push away from Luxord playfully.
Luxord held tight to his young lover, "Now, Demyx. Don't lie." He whispered, fatigued as well.
Demyx gave up, knowing that Luxord would win eventually, anyways. He cuddled into the older man's chest, sighing.
Luxord carried him to the bed and lay down, still holding him. "Goodnight, my love." He whispered softly.
"Night, Lux." Tenet replied, closing his eyes to sleep.
It was the last night in which Demyx could sleep in peace.
End Flashback
when I fell in love with him, I have never expected it to become like this.
He told me that he would always love me.
He lied.
And I Believed...