I wrote this fic because I truly believe that anyone can be love and even the deepest wounds can be healed if only someone would understand. I do not own Inuyasha or any characters thereof. Only Kisa is mine.
I didn't really know who he was. I didn't know his name. I couldn't tell you if he was a lord or farmer or beggar. All I knew was that he came to me on the half moon, and that he left before dawn's first light. His hair was short, too short to run my fingers through, but it is soft and black as night. His eyes were gentle, and when I touch his hand, they gleam with joy and awe. He had never promised me anything, and he told me once that he cannot take me as his wife, for what reason he would not say. Still, I never denied him when he came to my bed, and I've never been ashamed to be his lover. The first time we made love, he was so gentle, and when it was over, he clung to me like I alone could make his heart beat and his lungs draw breath. With time he became more adventurous in his lovemaking, but he is always attentive to my desires, always insistent upon my own pleasure before his.
I am not a beautiful woman. I'm plain and poor and have no dowry, but he didn't care. I, Kisa, a poor peasant woman, am a goddess in his eyes, and one night a month, he came to worship at my temple. He was beautiful, but even if he hadn't been, the look of joy in his eyes would have been enough.
That night, he came to me just after dusk. We walked to the river and he held me there beneath the trees, basking in the soft light of the moon. He stroked my hair and held me in his strong arms. It was so peaceful, and I hated to destroy it. Still it had to be done.
I turned to meet his gaze, and asked in a trembling voice, "Is this all there is for us?" I felt my heart break as I watched his smile fade and the glow of his eyes dim. He looked away.
"Please. Tell me, is this all there is?" I pleaded, pulling myself out of his arms, away from his warmth.
"Yes," he said, his deep melodic voice thick with sorrow, "this is all there can be."
"But why!?" I sobbed, "Don't you love me? Won't you marry me? Restore my honor?"
His eyes sparkled with his sorrow, and tears began to flow down his face, "I can't. This…" he whispered, gazing at the half-moon, "is all I can give you, Kisa. It's all I have."
I shook my head, bewildered, "Why? Is it a curse? A spell?"
He sighed, and after a moment, nodded, "Yes… I suppose it is… a curse," he said, still not meeting my gaze.
"I'll break the spell then. I'll do battle with whatever creature has done this to you. I'll free you. I will," I said, clutching handfuls of his shirt in my hands. He looked at me, and in his eyes… sorrow.
"It cannot be broken, Kisa," he said.
"Then… at least… can I know your name?" I begged.
He didn't answer me. He only reached out and drew me to him, holding me in a warm embrace.
I cried and clung to him, letting him hold me. Then, in that deep darkness before the coming of dawn, I grew still, feigning sleep. Just as he always did, he gently lay me on the soft moss of the bank and crept away, being careful not to disturb my sleep. Then, when he'd begun to make his way back through the forest, I followed him.
I crept silently after him, even when he left the path. I had no father or husband to hunt for me, and had learned long ago to set snares and creep though the forest like any man. If he knew I followed him, he gave no sign.
When we finally emerged from the wood, it was into a field, and all around was the strong smell of herbs. It the midst of the field was a cottage, and beside it was a rode, dividing the field in half. I knew this place. I had only been here once, before my parents died. I had become ill, and my mother had brought me here to seek the help of the old woman and her son, the hanyou Jiningi. She was a witch, they said, and her son a monster, but they knew how to make tonics and poultices (as any witch would). She had given me a strong, bitter broth to drink in exchange for a length of silk, and it had healed me. I never saw her son.
Now I watched as my love walked through the field toward the cottage, careful not to trample any of the herbs. I waited until he'd pushed past the curtained door and into the house before I followed.
The sun was not yet up, but still there was a soft pink light on the horizon as I crept up to the door. Pressing myself against the frame of the door, I peered in through the tiny space between the wood and the cloth door.
There he sat in the firelight, and beside him was the old woman. They sipped tea from clay cups and she asked how was his night. It was odd, almost surreal, to watch her chat happily while he looked so sad.
The sky grew brighter, and I watched in fear as my love dropped his cup and curled up as if in pain. His body began to grow and bulge. His skin turned darker and thick, his delicately sculpted face elongating until it looked somewhat like the face of a horse. It seemed to last forever, though it was really only a moment. Before my heart had time to beat three times, he stood again, no longer the eerily beautiful human, but a hanyou. Jiningi.
So that's it. That's his curse. I thought as I watched them. Anger flooded through me. How dare this witch keep him imprisoned here, forcing him to take the shape of a hanyou and calling him her son!
I took a deep breath to steady myself, my mind made up, before lurching to my feet and walking boldly into the cottage, all reasonable thought lost.
"Let him go!" I shouted, my voice sounding shrill in my fear, but I stood firm and glared at her.
"What?" she asked, pulling herself to her feet, "What is the meaning of this? Coming into my house like this! You've no right…"
"I said let him go, you witch! Release him! I know you have him under a spell. If you won't release him, I'll go get the villagers!" I threatened.
Jiningi looked on in horror, and my heart nearly broke when I saw the absolute hopelessness in his eyes. Those eyes. They alone were the same. They were larger and set farther apart, but they were the same expressive eyes with which I'd fallen in love. I looked in his eyes, and instead of the love I'd always seen, there was only fear and sadness.
It broke me. My heart, already hurt, shattered.
"Please," I begged, dropping to my knees, "Please, let him go…" I muttered, unable to look away from him, though he tried to hide himself from my sight. He huddled in the back of the hut, he hands over his face. "It's over. It's all over," I heard him whispering over and over, for all the world sounding like the tearful prayers of the battered and broken begging for mercy.
"It ain't no spell, girl. My son… he's a half-blood. Just how he is," said the old woman, looking sad. She moved between us, trying to shield him with her body.
"But… he was…" I said, pulling my gaze away from him to look at her. I saw in her face the same sorrow I felt. The same heartbreak. She met my gaze and nodded.
"All hanyous is like that. Once a month, when the moon is the same as it was when they was born, the lose their demon powers and become human," she said.
Her words sank in slowly, and my knees gave way, dropping me to my knees on the earthen floor. I sat slumped in the dirt, staring at my hands in my lap. It made sense, what she said. Why he came only on the night of the half moon, why he had never asked to marry me or even told me his name. I understood why he seemed so in awe of me, why his eyes lit up at the slightest touch of my hand. Mine… and his mother's… were the only touch he'd ever known.
I should have been disgusted. I should have fled, but I didn't. I looked up, and there he was, cowering in the corner with his hands over his face… and between his fingers I could see his eyes. Those same eyes that looked on me with love when everyone else saw a poor, dirty peasant woman.
I got to my feet and went to him. His mother stood where she was, torn between stopping me and letting me go. I pushed her out of the way and walked on trembling legs to his side. I heard him whimper as I approached, and I wondered what he thought I would do.
He was on his knees and bent in half, but he was still as tall as me. My hand trembled slightly as I reached out and took his large hand in mine. I was surprised at how soft his skin was against mine as I pulled his hands away. He wasn't so ugly, now that I had a chance to look. He wasn't beautiful by any means, but I could see that it was still him, still the man I loved. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes, and he looked so very afraid.
I wanted to tell him that I wouldn't run. I wouldn't reject him, but my voice failed. I leaned forward, and pressed my lips timidly to his. He stiffened a moment before returning my kiss, and when I pulled away, tears flowed down his brown cheeks and his eyes were full of that same awe and joy I'd seen that first time he'd come to my bed.
"Aren't you afraid of me?" he asked, and I smiled when that same deep voice came to my ears.
"No, Jiningi... my love. I'm not afraid of you," I said, wrapping my arms around his large neck as best I could.
He didn't say anything else. He just wrapped me in his arms. It hadn't turned out as I thought it would, but I had set him free, lifted his curse in a way… and that was enough.
Hope you enjoyed it. Please review, but don't be mean. Constructive criticism only.